Does your SO allow you to dress in front of them, or prefer it hidden?

[Marleena]

In my case she accepts and has not said I don't want to see it but I do not dress in front of her. She has never said go get dressed up for me.

So I only dress up in front of her on Halloween, she is comfortable with that day.:) When she is around I will undress, she knows I have shaved legs, painted toes, and have panties on.

I guess it's about not making her feel uncomfortable. I do tell her in advance when I'm going to play with makeup, that's kinda tough to hide, but still having facial hair might help there. I think getting the green light from our SO's is awesome and I don't want to push my luck.

[david]

hi marlenna my so actually helps me pick the right clothes when i am in a femme kind of mood which is quite often .so i am one of the luckycds davinaxx

[BRANDYJ]

You are right about not wanting to push it Marleena. Maybe in time her acceptance level will increase. But I think it has to be at the pace a wife or SO comes to terms with herself without any pushing. So hang in there and hope. But at the same time always show her how much you love and appreciate her.
I'm lucky in the sense that my SO likes to see me dressed and enjoys my maid service to her. She has no issues at all about seeing me dressed or my dressing in general. In fact she once said I would not be me to her if I did not dress.

[kimdl93]

I dress pretty much full time, including in the presence of my SO. The only exception is that she's unwilling to go out with me, locally. I'm hoping we can overcome that barrier soon.

[Cheryl T]

I dress in front of her every day. We go out together shopping, dining, movies, etc all the times. In fact about 4 weeks ago we took a girls only vacation throughout New England. It was the first time for me and I loved it. She said she enjoyed it also and we may do it again soon.

At first I was very nervous to dress in front of her...then I was just nervous "dressing" in front of her. Now it's just as natural as anything else we do.

[Karren H]

Think mine would prefer all my fem clothing would catch on fire... With me in them! Lol.

[kimdl93]

Cheryl, your relationship with your wife is where I hope we'll be in time. My wife is very accustomed to me being dressed at home. Its its simply who I am and I'm long past being self conscious about it. But I would love to do the things you and your wife have enjoyed together.

[Lea]

I may dress in front of my wife whenever I choose to dress and she will occasionally ask me to dress.

She is very supportive in sharing jewelry, buying me items and even suggesting things like leggings.

I keep track of the hours every year I spend dressed. I told her I am close to reaching last year’s figures and she told to go for it.

Not complaining but the only differences is I am treated like her girlfriend. I know nothing romantic will occur, that instead of sitting next to me on the couch she will sit in a chair near the couch and she will go out and do her errands while I am dressed.

At times she still has trouble seeing her man all dressed up, completely shaved, and in a different gender but overall she is great with it.

I will thank her for the things she does for me.

[thechic]

I dress full time,so am dressed in womans clothing in front of my SO and anyone ouse 100% of the time,i only have one mans shirt and one per of mens pants.

[*Vanessa*]

Hey Marleena - Gotta say I think (and I believe that you are saying) it is best if we are very comfortable with ourselves first then to spring it on our S/O in hope of getting any fortitude from them.. Kinda like 'crossdressing approval by osmosis'.

face whiskers :eek:

[JamieG]

In my case she accepts and has not said I don't want to see it but I do not dress in front of her. She has never said go get dressed up for me.

So I only dress up in front of her on Halloween, she is comfortable with that day.:) When she is around I will undress, she knows I have shaved legs, painted toes, and have panties on.

I guess it's about not making her feel uncomfortable. I do tell her in advance when I'm going to play with makeup, that's kinda tough to hide, but still having facial hair might help there. I think getting the green light from our SO's is awesome and I don't want to push my luck.

I'm in a similar boat. She is supportive but usually does not like to see it. However, if there's a good excuse, then she's fine with it. She's gone out with me dressed one Halloween, and has performed along side me in two charity drag shows. Like you, I try not to push my luck, and let her set the level of her involvement.

[Sandra]

Marleena

Have you thought of one day asking her if she would help you? It doesn't have to be a serious time, make it fun and have a laugh. If she says that she's not ready yet then accept that and tell her to let you know when she is ready.....just remember not to push or rush things.

[Marleena]

Marleena

Have you thought of one day asking her if she would help you? It doesn't have to be a serious time, make it fun and have a laugh. If she says that she's not ready yet then accept that and tell her to let you know when she is ready.....just remember not to push or rush things.

Thanks Sandra. She accepts my dressing, and will help me purchase the things I need. I'm very lucky for that. I'm on my own as far as makeup goes. She wears very little, and said she can't help much. She is getting me an Avon book. She is also getting me girlie stuff for Christmas, she said.

After reading so many other members posts about their SO's turning on them afterwards I'm kinda nervous about pushing this too far.

[Marleena]

Oh..and thanks to everybody that has or will reply.:)

[RADER]

I under dress a Lot, about 80% with a bra on and fem Jeans. Panties are 24-7.
I only dress up in a dress or skirt at home. I always wear a dress to do the laundry, floors,
or any other house work. I call it my uniform for house work. LOL
My wife is totally cool with my dressing, and when some thing need doing, she has been
known to say; "When are you going to put on your uniform"
Rader

[S. Lisa Smith]

My wife has been very helpful over the years. That being said, she doesn't want to see me dressed or see pictures. I think that I have it really good and I won''t do anything to upset our status quo.

[prettytoes]

I am in a similar situation. I keep my toes painted, wear panties 24/7, sleep in nighties, and wear sports bras when I work out. She knows I have several skirts and dresses, and lots of tights, but I do not wear them in front of her. I do wear yoga pants and exercise capris while lounging around the house, she is fine with them. I am hoping for further acceptance in the future, but I do not want to push it too far.

[StephanieP]

My wife allows it and I am dressed most of the time. I am expanding my wardrobe so I may remain dressed all the time. Unfortunately the breasts are too obvious in public so they remain at home, otherwise it's ususally leggings or slacks, knee highs or pantyhose, women's shoes and ladies t shirt, and of course, panties. At home I enjoy jewelry and perfume also. I've also switched to bubble baths, powder, and feminine deodorent.

[Maria 60]

My wife's pretty cool about it, and still when i dress i try not to be in her face to much and do my usual stuff and don't push it.

[Jenniferathome]

Why would she ask you to get dressed? I think you are taking that as some sign of tolerance but think from her side, why? My guess is that she never thinks about it the way we do. In my case, my wife is incredibly accepting, but she would never ask me to get dressed. She knows it's part of me but can't understand it (hell, I can't). She has told me that she never thinks about it unless some reference comes on TV or I make a joke about it. The point here is that crossdressing is not on her mind. How about you ask her if she is ok with you getting dressed one night. She can then give you a fair response.

[Marleena]

@ Jennifer, some of the wives here tell their SO's to go get dressed. Some wives encourage it. That is all I meant. :)

[Pythos]

My SO met me in my garb, and prefers my fem/androgynous appearance. I think I have been discovered by the holy grail of crossdressers.

[SometimesDiana]

My gf prefers me dressed. Actually... that's how we met so I never had anything to hide.

[zoe m]

My SO is fine with me dressing in front of her and actually says she likes it and enjoys it a lot. On the other hand, I don't do it that often (lack of time these days); I don't know what it would be like if I did it all the time. I think it's good that you're not pushing; if you're being honest and compromising with her, I don't think she'll "turn" on you.

[Jackiefl]

My wife is very accepting with no problems being dressed around her. We have been out to restraunts,movies,disney world,universal studios and bush gardens. WE have also been to vegas for a week no boy cloths and flew pretty,i guess i just hit the lottery with her i am so lucky.

[Mary Jane]

My wife only tolerates my dressing so I dress when she is away from home.

[Misti]

Does your SO allow you to dress in front of them, or prefer it hidden?

[QUOTE=Marleena;2663196] In my case she accepts and has not said I don't want to see it but I do not dress in front of her. She has never said go get dressed up for me. .

#1 Ditto #2 No problem with dressing in front of her anytime. #3 I don't ever expect her to ask me. Period.


So I only dress up in front of her on Halloween, she is comfortable with that day.:) When she is around I will undress, she knows I have shaved legs, painted toes, and have panties on. .

#1 Now comes the hard part for me. My SO has not come around to the point where I can do makeup (working on it, as we speak - we bought a full line of makeup just last week, but I have backed off pushing too hard on that one for a little while :daydreaming: ), bras (wear cami's 24/7), but no high heels over 2" and although I can go out wearing any style of feminine shoes, blouses and slacks, etc., however, dresses/skirts aren't even anywhere near being in the picture yet (don't have any idea when all that will change? :sad: #3 All the above including painted acrylic nails, but my panties are Marilyn Monroe briefs. Nothing has been mentioned about breasts here? But I am up to a B-cup, w/o her knowing it is developing right under her nose? She has mentioned it, though... :heehee:


I guess it's about not making her feel uncomfortable. I do tell her in advance when I'm going to play with makeup, that's kinda tough to hide, but still having facial hair might help there. I think getting the green light from our SO's is awesome and I don't want to push my luck.

#1 I don't play with makeup, she is going to have to do it for me. :heehee: The hair part is long gone all over for me, so, "no sweat" (besides I smell 100X better now, too. :devil: #2 Amen to that in spades, we with loving supporting SO's are so very, very lucky to have them at our side, and I, for one, don't want to soil the nest with any feces, for darn sure.

So, I guess you could say, "After 18+ months I'm still betwixt nd between! Stlll a long way to go, but the journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step, and I have made that step!!!"

Good luck to you all and Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!

[JohnH]

Most of the time with the cooler weather I am in drab. However, in the summertime I wore denim skirts instead of shorts. And on lazy Sunday afternoons I wear a dress while my wife wears a nightgown.

And I always wear a nightgown to bed.

I never keep my crossdressing a secret from my wife.

Johanna

[Raychel Torn]

My wife is very supportive and will also asked me to dress now and then. She thinks it's sexy.

[Aprilrain]

"Does your SO allow you to dress in front of them, or prefer it hidden?"

It depends on what we are doing but normally I'd say he wants me dressed like say if we are leaving the house.
Now if we are just in the bed room dressing is optional!

[Brianna in Hose]

My wife knows of my dressing and says that she doesn't want me to have to hide it. However, she is still not comfortable with the idea of me dressing or seeing me dressed

[Bobbi Lynn]

What she said!!:sad:

Think mine would prefer all my fem clothing would catch on fire... With me in them! Lol.

[Tara D. Rose]

I'm in a similar boat. She is supportive but usually does not like to see it.

I wonder why you SO is like that?? So puzzling.
L&R....................Tara

[evadan]

My wife has known about my inclinations for years and had indulged me but just with lingerie in bed. I recently told her I wanted to dress completely (I plan to share our experience in another post). She was cautiously accepting and supportive. Several weeks after telling her about my needs, we went shopping together and she helped me pick out a complete outfit including heels. So I went ahead and dressed for her. I was nervous about it but she was fine.

She is not ready to see me in make-up or help with my make-up (and i really need the help!) She is ok with me purchasing a wig. So I am trying very carefully to take it slowly, one step at a time; respecting her comfort zone and boundaries. And making sure the rest of the time I am also being the man she wants and needs me to be.

[Marleena]

I just mentioned to my SO that I would be cooking with a dress on tomorrow. She said: "I don't want to see it!". So now I know the boundary for sure.

[Jeannie]

Since I came out to her she doesn't care when I dress up. She loans me some of her things and I loan her some of mine and we talk about some of the things that are going with my dressing. She has to be reassured that I don't want to transition and that I am not gay and going to start wanting to go out with men. Both of these issues are addressed continually and I really don't mind because the result is I get to dress when ever I want to. I think that's a fair trade. She is so understanding and loving that I almost cry every time I think about it. Ok I have to stop now before I really start crying. xxxooo to all.

[susan lewis]

My future wife helps me dress and has now started to do my makeup. She just recently bought me a dress and is getting warm to the idea of us going out together shopping or dining. It is so much fun to have her help and add her suggestions on what to wear, how to walk like a lady, etc...

[DW]

Think mine would prefer all my fem clothing would catch on fire... With me in them! Lol.

Likewise!! My SO would prefer CDing didn't exist!

[Crissy Kay]

I am dressed up in frount of my SO every once in a while. Since I only dress as a maid, I think she likes it. She is also OK with my cd friend dropping by too!! I am really pretty lucky, even so, I only dress up on the weekends, when no one will be showing up. The funny thing is that I still feel little strange being dressed up around her.

[joanne anderson]

My wife is one who has accepted my dressing since I came out to her. Once we had talked things over she asked me to get dressed in the few clothes I had at the time. Once she saw the types of clothing I thought I looked good in, she suggested that I should maybe remember that I was no teenager and possible look at changing a few things in my small wardrobe ( Big plastic bag )
Since then she has come to be my advisor on clothing when I am out looking for something new, as well as trying on what ever I have chosen, just to check the size that would suit me.
In the make-up field, she also seldom wears any but I have a beautician friend who helps me in that area.
I'm retired now and spend much of my time at home so I dress when ever I feel like it. I usuall dress in front of her now and then but only if I am fully made up, which is my decision and she is o.k. with my choice
She has told me that she could not deal with me being dressed all the time around her. I believe if she let me, then it would be an admission of the loss of her spouse, and I fully understand where she is coming from.
I have no complains and realise I am one of the few who are in a fortunate situation, so I bless every day Joanne is around.

LOL Joanne

[Missy Tanya]

My wife was the guiding light in my C/D for the most part. She still ask me from time to time why I haven't been dressing. And she wants to go out with me most times. So I'm for the most part sure she is accepting and supportive. Only thing is when I come home with lots of packages from a shopping day and didn't buy her anything.. Got to remember her while out shopping,, bonus points..

Tanya

[AnitaH]

Mine is somewhat supportive of my dressing but does not want to see me that way, not even on Halloween. My clothes are hanging in the closet but she asked me to move them to the other side where they were a little more out of sight. She will wash my some of my clothing if it is in the laundry. If she is away from home for a couple of hours she will call before coming home to be sure I am not dressed when she gets home. I can only hope that someday .......

AnitaH

[Rochelle]

So I am trying very carefully to take it slowly, one step at a time; respecting her comfort zone and boundaries. And making sure the rest of the time I am also being the man she wants and needs me to be.
Perfect! This is the only approach in my mind!
My wife is okay with me dressed en femme in front of her, but has never asked me to "go get dressed". When I do dress in front of her I might get a little advice now and then about how a piece of clothing or something should look. The first time I came out with "boobs" I got a "REALLY!" I wanted to hide but kept my head up and my boobs on. After a short while I was told how they should be positioned and she adjusted my straps to achieve a better look. They know so much about this stuff. :) I will say that I have had one night where I was undressed by my wife, and that one will go in the record book. I am a very lucky lady!

[SallyS]

Often I'll still be dressed when my wife comes home from work (I work from home most of the time).

It usually means I've done the housework, made her a coffee and tend to her every need:)

The only thing I will say is that as Sally, she doesn't see me in a sexual way. I'm more of a female 'friend'. I'm very comfortable wearing my female clothes around her, because I'm OK with my female look.

However I don't tend to get dressed in front of her, as I am conscientious of my cumbersome manner at putting my female attire on!

[Raychel]

My wife made it clear when she first found out about Raychel, that she had no desire at all to ever see me dressed up. And other the on one occasion on Haloween, (her idea) and some pics, this has been the way it has been. Although she does see me at bed tiem in my nightgowns.

[kristinacd55]

I don't make a habit of it, only when we went shopping and I want to show her the outfit or if I ask her opinion on something I'm going to wear out. Don't know if she'll ever be really comfortable with it

[KrystalA]

My SO not only allows it, she's disappointed if she gets up in the morning and I'm just sitting here in drab. She loves seeing Krystal.

[marlacd]

When I had an SO, I really never knew where I stood in my dressing terms. She claimed that she accepted it, and supposedly would allow me to dress in front of her. The rules that we laid down about my dressing would change in a moment, depending on how she felt. My feelings were never considered by her. She'd lash out at me wearing something, make me change, and then feel bad about it. Its hard to play the game, when the person who runs the game, changes the rules without telling you.
Be thankful that you have a partner that that accepts you at a certain level. And doesn't change that level, depending on her mood.

[cdinmd206]

Mine tolerates my dressing and we have been out together with me fully dressed. In the last few years she has become more accepting to it and even has bought me a few outfits and my own makeup. Like Sally S's wife, she does not see me in a sexual way. She says she looks upon me as the older sister she never had. I am grateful for the way she has adapted to it and try not to push her limits.

[Rachel Flowers]

Mine allows it, encourages it, and wants to participate. She's not keen on the idea that I might go out in future and wants me to keep my soft furry arms, legs, chest, back and my fairly kinky beard. And opportunties are limited to when the kids are out.

[Renee W]

My wife lets me dress anytime I want and to the level that I want. Lately, when I get home from work, she'll ask not "whether or not I'm am going to dress" but rather "Whatcha going to wear tonight?". Last night when I got home, I was tired and needed to feed the dogs and cook dinner, so all I put on was some guy flannel lounge pants, a bra, a silky cowl neck top and a short wig. When I came out of the bedroom she was like "What, no dress!" Later, after dinner, I did go put on my new red dress that I finished making a few days ago.

After I had the dress on, she said go put on the long blonde wig so I can take your picture. After that she said now go put on the black dress on you made so I can take that picture.

We are only at the 7 week anniversary of her finding out about Renee after knowing only Renee's alter ego for almost 18 years. I honestly believe that she accepts and supports me because since she found out:

She has helped me shop for nightgowns online.
She has purchased me panties, a slip and thigh-highs for no reason
For my birthday I got more panties and pantyhose
She has taught me how to sew so I can make my own clothes
She points out clothes in the catalogs that she thinks the style would look good on me
We have ourchased several wigs for each of us (after I tried the ones she already had)
She has taken an interest in the CD culture and read the book "My husband Wears My Clothes"
Together we looked at patterns last night, and she pointed out some that she would like to see me in (going to Jo-Anns today to pick up 20 more patterns on sale, some for me, some for her)
We have plans to do my first makeup lesson Weds night (I suggested Weds since we have a 4 day weekend coming up)

In exchange, I have been more helpful around the house, I surprise her with thank you gifts, I have more meaningful conversations with her.

My only hope is that this is not a phase and that the rest of our lives can be as enjoyable as the last 7 weeks.


My name is Renee W and I'm a CrossDresser.

[BillieJoEllen]

My wife has seen me dressed just three times. A few months after we were married she asked to see 'Billie". She was surprised at how long it took me to get ready. We spent the rest of the evening talking and watching TV. The second time was a few years later. I got up early and dressed. When I walked to the living room she was sleeping on the floor and she woke up. She was very late to work that day. It was very strained between us for a few days. The third time (and much to my regret) I purposely dressed and waited for her to come home. I went all out that evening. She asked what I thought I was doing. My only reason for doing it that night was to show her how much CDing really meant to me. She definitely didn't like my approach. I was told to get rid of all my stuff or she would leave me. Needless to say I didn't and about a month later she left. She left telling me that she would move back in after I got rid of everything and got myself 'cured'. A year later she moved back in after I hid all my stuff and told her otherwise. I really hated lying to her. A few years after that she found a lot of my stuff and moved out again. After a year she moved back in. We don't talk about it anymore and to tell the truth I don't know what she thinks anymore. I do treat her like a queen though, something I really didn't do before.

[Jessica86]

Mine accepts, but doesn't really care which "version" I am in. She's just as happy with Jessica as she is with me. It wasn't always like that though, and I think that's what most people don't understand. Feelings change. My wife grows more comfortable with it everyday.

[Nicole Marie]

I don't mean to insult any other SO in this thread or forum but my beautiful, lovely wife allows me to dress whenever I want to--undergarments, dresses, skirts, full make-up and wig. I'm pretty much hair-free year-round from the neck down. We try to go out as much as we can to conventional, "straight" places--movie theatres, restaurants, etc. Yes, I can pass and with my wife's input, I can "blend" as well. I am the luckiest married crossdresser in the universe!

[bridget thronton]

I do dress most days with my SO around and have done so on vacations too.

[JamieG]

I wonder why you SO is like that?? So puzzling.
L&R....................Tara

Well Tara, I think it's like this: she knows it makes me happy and therefore wants me to do it. However, it's just not something she finds fun or entertaining. After all, I am her husband and I'm sure she would rather not "have it in her face" most of the time. Some guys may be football nuts and have wives who hate sports. Their wives will find something else to do on Sunday afternoons, but will happily buy that signed jersey for their husbands for Christmas. I don't see this as really any different.

[Aprilrain]

Well Tara, I think it's like this: she knows it makes me happy and therefore wants me to do it. However, it's just not something she finds fun or entertaining. After all, I am her husband and I'm sure she would rather not "have it in her face" most of the time. Some guys may be football nuts and have wives who hate sports. Their wives will find something else to do on Sunday afternoons, but will happily buy that signed jersey for their husbands for Christmas. I don't see this as really any different.

This is a very good analogy, my BF is a CDer and LOVES football neither activity really does anything for me. Last sunday while he watched football I went shopping with my ex, we bought clothes for the kids (life is nothing if not weird!) He hasn't been CDing lately but if he wanted to I would just find something else to do.

[McKailah]

My wife has no problem with me dressing in front of her, but we have both agreed that I will not dress in front of our son. The problem with this agreement is I am never away from him unless my wife is away with him. Since my son was born, I have dressed maybe seven times...in three years. I love to dress, and my wife is accepting and supportive, but we do not want to expose our son to that right now. Maybe when he is old enough to understand.

[allie45]

My wife is happy for me to dress in front of her. She even does my make up when we go out.
If we stay in, we both put on our nighties and watch a movie together.
I know this is not always the norm, so I do feel very lucky that she is so accepting.

[Tina B.]

My wife takes me as I am, just as I do her, so I wear what I want and so does she.
Tina B.

[PretzelGirl]

First, for each and every one of the couples represented here, it is good to see workable solutions no matter what they are. This is different for all of us and the solutions are sometimes different by necessity. But keeping the bond of marriage first is the common theme.

My wife is okay with complete openness. We shop together and help each other with outfit selections. Yesterday, she was asking me if she could try on a pair of leggings as she wanted to buy some and wasn't sure about size. I gave her my favorite pair and they fit her perfectly. So I gave them to her and loaned her a sweater dress outfit so she could wear it that day. She looked great as always. Yes, I am thankful.
:love:

[S. Lisa Smith]

This is a very good analogy, my BF is a CDer and LOVES football neither activity really does anything for me. Last sunday while he watched football I went shopping with my ex, we bought clothes for the kids (life is nothing if not weird!) He hasn't been CDing lately but if he wanted to I would just find something else to do. That is exactly what my wife does. If I dress, she goes shopping or some other activity. We find it a good balance.

[TGMarla]

My wife not only prefers it to remain hidden, she all but demands it. She was deeply unhappy about it all when she found out....my fault for not telling her before we married....and I completely understand her trepidation. I really have no problem with it at all. In fact, I think I prefer it that way myself. I enjoy my femme time, but when my wife is around, I'd rather be her husband. So I do her the favor of keeping this whole thing to myself, and I go out of my way to not stick it in her face. What we are left with is a situation that works well for both of us, and I, for one, don't complain about it.