If you had the choice would you rather NOT be a CD'er?

[Marleena]

When I first joined this forum I was embracing my CDing and have an accepting SO.

The fact is we are what we are and it won't go away.

I only see a very small amount of members who have SO's that really are okay with it. I see lots of horror stories. Then there is the intolerance from society as a whole.

So if you really had a choice would you take it or leave it?

[OKPink]

I would not have it any other way. In fact the opposite. Usually I underdress, rarely to I wear femme attire out. I never wear make-up or wigs. I used to have *really* long hair, but not now. If I knew how to do makeup better I would wear it.
If I could do anything different, I would be younger, hotter and dress much more in more places.

[Marleena]

My answer is in my signature.:) Just curious to see what others think. I know it's a difficult question because we are what we are.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I love your signature Marleena!

Hugs

[Noemi]

It would be so nice to not be a cd'er or a tg'er as I am. I have suffered with this issue for as long as I can remember, and have had serious bouts with drugs and alcohol in an attempt to not feel as I do.

I have never felt that I belong anywhere sexually. As a human I do get along with all people. It might be nice to just be a man, perhaps not to have just epilated my belly(ouch).

But dressing feels so good, and I would not have the perspective and probably would not have the, "feel" that I have with out the internal conflict that I harbor.

Hypothetical anyway. You said it Sister, "We are what we are."
Today I am still dressing up................
There is also the the thought that we picked all these challenges for ourselves for this life. If you believe in eternity as I do. I do see the perfection in my life.
So the answer is no I would not change the fact that I am a cd'er.

[Launa]

I would change it. I would rather be male or female and not stuck in between.

[Cynthia Anne]

If I had a choice NO I would not be a cder! Then I WOULD be female!!!!!!!! Hugs!

[Beverley Sims]

Male or female,I lost too much time stuck in between.
Now I handle it a lot better and life is good. I do have fun now.

[suchacutie]

I can understand how many would feel that being "in between" requires a tremendous effort and commitment, and it's not like we chose to go down this path!

However, finding Tina has changed my life in so many positive ways that could not have happened if I were "only" male.

So, even though it can be a bit of a pain in the neck on occasion, I'm glad I am who I am, and I'm overwhelmingly glad that I have a fantastic wife who is Tina's girlfriend!

[Marleena]

There are already some wonderful answers.:) There is no right or wrong answer, I'll bow out and let this take it's course. Thank you so much!

[christina s]

Yes and no.

I really wish there was a part of me that could just accept this side of myself and enjoy life . Then there's apart of me that could just leave this behind and go ahead with life without this little road block .

[Diana Bain]

"We are who we are"...Diana is a part of me...I accept her and love her...unconditionally!!!!

[Lorileah]

Nope would not change me...I would change the world. If I didn't have my TG side I would be a very boring person

[Leslie Langford]

Marleena, didn't we pretty much cover this topic in a recent thread which you started as well?

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?163675-Crossdressing-is-a-gift-not-a-curse!

Maybe there's a nuance in the meaning here compared with the other thread that I'm not quite clueing into...:confused: :thinking:

[April_Ligeia]

I would rather see people free to express themselves in any way they wished, in which case wearing whatever I wanted would be acceptable, so none of it would be called crossdressing. I would wear what is now considered female attire, but would not be a crossdresser.

[*Vanessa*]

.
What... take or leave society???

Ya you can have it, just give me the right to dress as i please :heehee:

[KellyJameson]

To stop would be to kill off communication with my other half. Every person contains elements of the masculine and the feminine so in some sense everyone is both Aphrodite and Hermes and in my opinion extremism comes from being divided against yourself.

I maintain homeostasis by emulating a woman because I was born in balance between the duality of male and female and pushed by the culture out of balance so crossdressing brings me back into the balance that is my birthright.

Many males would find my state of mind intolerable because they view that aspect of themselves as weak and they think the expression of it would invite ridicule or leave them feeling inpotent. They fail to understand that what appears to be weak is strong and what appears to be strong is weak . Life is a duality hidden by paradoxes.

[nylon boy]

I love crossdressing as it brings out another person in me,i wouldnt change a thing as being able to express that side of me is such a wonderfull thing that i think we should all embrace and not resent!

[sanderlay]

So if you really had a choice would you take it or leave it?

All I have to do is go back into my life and see how many times I tried to stop. How many times I threw away the clothes and promised myself I would never go back. Those were the times that I made the choice... the tough choice... to be normal... to fit in... to stop. I was not happy with my behavior and I believed those who told me it was a sin... it was wrong... it was immoral behavior. I wanted to be normal... and be a... GOOD PERSON.

So I read about those rules... those teaching that were preached to me so long ago and I came to the conclusion... they were taken out of context... and twisted the meaning of the original text to fit an agenda.

But please... don't take my word for it. I'm not telling or preaching anything to you. Read for yourself... and come to your own conclusions. Take responsibility for your own actions... and if you feel inclined... share your story... share what you have learned. But please... leave me in peace. I'm not here to argue with your beliefs.

Today... I also look at it as a gift. It's the way the creator made me. I've accepted this is who I am and am much happier for it. The secret has lost its power. After all... they are only clothes. And anyone should have the right to wear them without prejudice or judgement.

[DebbieL]

In the ideal world, I could dress the way I wanted to, wear make-up, clothing, and wig or long hair, and be accepted as "one of the girls", and I could do it tomorrow, without any adverse consequences. I'd still have the job I love, the wife I love, and have lots of friends.

Furthermore, I could start the HRT and get the orchiectomy right away, rather than having to go through the year long transition period.

If it weren't for the Consequences I'd be sporting a 40D or 38D and have a small waist, and a great "Skirt butt'.

Unfortunately, there ARE consequences. For me, if I had continued with the transition back in 1992, I wouldn't have been able to see my kids at all, I would still have had to pay half my after-tax income as child-support, and I would have had to leave the state earlier, because there was no protection for the rights of gays, perceived gays, lesbians, or transgendered. You could be fired, you could be refused service in restaurants and stores, you could even be arrested for using the ladies' room. If I was attacked, the perpetrators would have gotten a slap on the wrist, but if I fought back, I could go to men's prison for assault, because prosecutors and juries in that part of the country were not sympathetic to anyone in the GLBT community, and in Colorado, it was only the Gay and Lesbian community, with very little support for the transgendered community. The only transgender support group in a 200 mile radius met only once a month, on a week-day evening.

I would have HAD to transition fairly quickly and with very little support, because I was only attracted to women and Lesbians don't want a chick with a dick. On the other hand, a bisexual woman would have wanted a man who was more well-endowed than I was, and a REAL woman. After the transition, I would have had to try to prevent people from finding out that I had once been a man.

It's hard for any young transgendered boy of today to imagine how far we have come in the last 60 years.

We've gone from a culture where female virginity was so valued that parents would harden their daughters' hymen to make it impossible to penetrate the adult hymen without a surgeon's help, but forgot to tell their married daughters that they would need this type of help. Where all gay and transgendered men were just considered "Draft Dodgers", and treated with contempt, often beaten and harassed until they conformed to the norm and served their country "properly". Many ENLISTED to avoid the persecution. During the McCarthy witch-hunt, gender and sexual diversity were considered "Commie" and were even considered a plot to overthrow the government. One of the greatest fears was that the Soviets would release a sexually transmitted disease which would spread unchecked through prisons, to the gay population, then to the bisexual population, then to prostitutes, then to men, then to all child-bearing women. Depending on the rate of spread and duration between contracting the disease and detectable time and then death, the disease could wipe out the entire population in as little as 30 years. And when AIDS first came to the USA, many thought that this might have been such an attack.

One of the ironies is that many transgendered men are autosexual or asexual, and at the very lowest possible risk of all. The other group was Lesbians, who have not had a recorded incident of passing the disease through sexual contact.

What would be really ironic would be if it turned out that the only fertile women and disease free men - were Lesbians and transgenders.

[Angela2me]

I could change me to not be a CD'er or change the world to have no clothing gender rules.

Angela

[SallyS]

If I couldn't 'dress', then I'd probably be in the loony bin by now ;)

It centers me, it focuses me, it enlightens me, it calms me, it warms me, it elates me, it IS me!!!

I choose to do what feels right for me, thankfully my SO just lets me get on with it:D

Without it I just don't feel complete. If I could take a pill to take it all away, well that pill would be straight down the plug hole!

After years of guilt and shame I FINALLY accept it :cheer:

But yes, I feel for all those who can't express themselves so freely. I am lucky and I know that!

[Karren H]

I would change it. I would rather be male or female and not stuck in between.

......... Bingo!! ............

[wanagione]

I would rather be female.

[RachelZ]

I would rather be female.

^Likewise. But I really like having the choice

[kimdl93]

I seldom indulge in hypothetical discussions. These question inevnitably lead to me into a Twighlight Zone scenario - which part of your life would you expunge first and what impact would it have on the rest of your life? If I weren't a CDr, would I even be me? What else would be gone?

[Marleena]

I seldom indulge in hypothetical discussions. These question inevnitably lead to me into a Twighlight Zone scenario - which part of your life would you expunge first and what impact would it have on the rest of your life? If I weren't a CDr, would I even be me? What else would be gone?

I understand Kim, it is a what if question. In my case I know my life would be a whole lot more boring. I would also have a lot less happiness. The good outweighs the bad for me.

If Cding is removed in my case I would be a typical male.

[Sharon B.]

I would keep it, just wish the INTERNET was available thirty years ago.
I might have made some other choices than what I did in my earlier life.
Not getting married thinking(cross-dressing) it would have gone away.

[Jenniferathome]

I would rather be a better looking crossdresser, but that's about it. On the "horror story" comment, I disagree. My impression from the members of this forum is that more SOs are accepting than not. I think women have a far greater capacity for tolerance. It is true that some have it tough but most do not.

[JillyNylonz]

I would rather be either male or female 100%. I would never choose to have the complexities in my life that crossdressing entails. I am one of the lucky ones, with a wife that accepts me, and loves me as both a man and as a CD. But we both would prefer simpler lives. That said, I have tried to stop many times, and after over 50 years of a love/hate relationship with this lifestyle, I am convinced it is not possible to quit permanently. I have made many friends in this community, and cherish them. But I would give up all in a heartbeat to enjoy a simple life as being a hetero male, with only my wife to fan my flames. Happy holiday to all.

[Tina B.]

I have wished all my life that I was born a macho man, a real stud even, well that's most of the time, there are times I have wished to be a woman, a real GG, I would have been happy either way. But male or female, just one or the other would have been great. I've learned who I am, and I have a wife that accepts me for who I am, but if that deep dark need was not there, if I only did it for fun and fashion, I would stop right now, or never have started to begin with. It fills a need, just like eating, and breathing, something my life can't do with out, but if I had never had that need, life would have been so much simpler, and I'm pretty sure the wife would have liked it too.
Tina B.

[Kimberly Long]

I have be a CD all of my life. Several years ago I knew that I was Transgender. I jumped all the hoops with doctors and started HRT. I have a wife of over 30 years that totally supports me. I have been living 24/7 as Kimberly, for several years. My life is so wonderful I wish I had made the transition many years ago. But I may not have been totally ready then.
Love Kimberly

[Rachel Flowers]

I would stay as I am. Like many others have said, I'd change the world first - the labels male and female are useful in a reproductive context but not much else, especially clothes.

I recognise that a number of people have been so hurt by social pressure to be one or the other, and those are probably people who are nearer the middle, or further from their anatomical gender, than I. I understand that if you ask them this question their first answer will be "yes please make me a total man/woman" but I don't really think any such thing exists and I believe if they believed it was possible for society to accept them as they are, they'd stay themselves.

I guess I'm lucky to be a "mild case" for want of a more sensitive expression and very lucky to have Mrs Flowers too.

[StephanieP]

I'd say I would like to be female if I could afford it and find the care. I've always felt I should have been one for many reasons. I try to stay 24/7 but am too paranoid. My SO says no one really looks at people but I feel I'm being judged. I do try to go out without the breasts and makeup. I am planning on getting my hair done in a feminie style once it gets longer. My next step is to wear nude stockings with my closed toe womens shoes, with a t shirt blouse, and loose fitting leggings. If this works I may go further.

[sissystephanie]

Crossdressing is a choice that we who do it WANT to do it! Anyone of us can change if we desire!! Marleena's tag line says it all! "Crossdressing is a gift I keep giving myself" is just what it is. We dress because WE WANT TO, not because there is any physical reason or because someone is holding a gun to our head!! But simply because we like to do it!! So anyone of CAN STOP if we want to!

I did stop for a 5 year period, and only started up again because my late wife begged me to!! If my children, or the lady that I now love from a distance, asked me to stop I would!! You just have to use the power of your own mind!

[RenneB]

Hey Marleena great topic. Like that ol' sailor said in the cartoon way too many years ago " I ams what I ams" - Popeye. I take one day at a time and try not to worry too much about what coulda been. Ya know the old saying, I would if I could but I can't so I won't - change that is. When I was a smoker, people would look at me a certain way, I eventually quit. When I was a GI people would look at me a certain way, I out now. You are always something to look at by one group or another... In my little shopping trip today, I think I had about three guys checkin me out but other than that .... nothing. No comments. I actually have less stares than when I was in guy mode years ago and weighed tooo much. People stare at rotund people with some of the meanest glares, and the things they say when they think you can't hear them...

Maybe it's like that ol' SNL character Rosana Rosana Danda "It's always somethin'...".

Renne.....

[Jenniferpl]

being 100% male or female would be perfect. It is the inbetween that drives me crazy.

[LisaKarenAZ]

If I had a choice, I would choose to be 100% GG. Although CD'ing is part of who I am, I am not happy with having to switch between the two gender presentations. I would rather just wake up every morning with the body to match my gender. I recognize that this puts me in the TS class of TG, but circumstances prevent me from living as I truly am without losing everything that I hold dear to my heart.

[suzy1]

I can honestly say, I am happy just as I am.
I would never want to loose the feminine side of me. [It’s the best bit!]

[Pythos]

Nah, I just would like it to not be such a big deal for norms.

[docrobbysherry]

Let's see, hypothetically speaking, if I hadn't gotten sidetracked by CDing about 15 years ago:

I'd probably be very wealthy.
Have homes in at least 3 countries.
Have at least 3 hot REAL girlfriends.

Instead, I have/am Sherry! Would I trade her and all of u for the things listed above? I'm really NOT SURE!

[eluuzion]

Your “hypothetical” (or counterfactual) question contains a lot of cognitive distortions and assumptions that I do not share…but in my world...it does not change anything that affects us being friends:hugs: I am not a big fan of applying counterfactual thinking to imagining the possible outcomes of backing out of automobile accidents after they have already occurred, since you cannot change the past…but hey I will give controlled insanity a shot here…:drink:

I believe I always have options (choices) in every circumstance. Being a CDer is no different than anything else. As it relates specifically to me, I do not believe my CD behavior is a “disorder”, “addiction” or some type of dysphoric/disabling handicap that negatively impacts my ability to function in a well-adjusted (“acceptable”) manner in life. This assessment logically assumes that I have control over the behavior.

Having the ability to “control” the behavior means that I can regulate it at will. So I really do have the choice to “take it or leave it”. I chose to “take it” over 25 years ago and choose to “take it” forward into my future.

It has not caused any havoc in my life whatsoever. I have always found a way to achieve whatever my objective was at the time regarding CD, without getting my pantyhose in a bunch.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener. That is what I really want to be. Cause if I was an Oscar Myer Wiener, everybody would be in love with me…:)

But I choose to not do that, even though I have the desire. It is a matter of suppression or expression based upon the consequences I am willing to accept. I am not willing to deal with the consequences of walking around looking like a hot dog...just yet anyway. But I would love to drive the Weinermobile...

that's the way it looks in my world anyway...:daydreaming:

:love:

[Marleena]

Eluuzion, you make me laugh.:) Great answer girl!

[JaytoJillian]

Yes, I like me as is, but I would love to change our society's level of acceptance with the wave of a wand. I am soooooo "normal" and boring outside of CDing--I'm just downright boring.

[Daphne Renee]

Hmm if I were free to choose .. I think I would dress more often. I dont get to dress very often and I enjoy doing it when I can.

[Robin-in-TX]

I would not prefer to be someone else and this is a part of me. So, no. I would opt to remain myself, including this.

[sometimes_miss]

Leslie wrote:

Marleena, didn't we pretty much cover this topic in a recent thread which you started as well? http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ft-not-a-curse!
Maybe there's a nuance in the meaning here compared with the other thread that I'm not quite clueing into

Leslie, lots of people just need to hear that some others feel the same way they do, and often, on a frequent basis. It's not really a troll, but usually they know the response they want before posting the question. My opinion? I absolutely would prefer to never have been stuck with a penchant for female attire and behavior; It's a pain in the butt, not to mention all the mental gymnastics necessary to manage an intimate life with all that going on in my head at the same time.

[Contessa]

Without reading all the posts in this thread, and then posting a reply myself I must just reply now. Yes I would not be a cd'er. I would be me in a skirt and a blouse, makeup, a wig and heels. Or flats if I would be out for a long day. I don't think I would have to wear pantyhose or tights unless the weather says that is a good idea.

I use to only run on maybe 5 cylinders I was missing some part of me. Since I begun fully dressing I find myself complete. I am running on all 8 cylinders. How could I be anyone else. I would still have all the same thoughts and worries and emotions, or would I. I didn't purchase any forms I made mine, what would I do with all the stuff. What would I do with the time that I would be dressing by not dressing. Wait maybe this isn't such a good idea. I still need some different color lipstick.

[MissMarcie]

So if you really had a choice would you take it or leave it?
I would LEAVE IT in a heartbeat.


I would rather see people free to express themselves in any way they wished, in which case wearing whatever I wanted would be acceptable, so none of it would be called crossdressing. I would wear what is now considered female attire, but would not be a crossdresser.
You are describing a fantasy scenario which will never ever exist. CD's will always be looked upon as not-normal and freaks. just sayin...

[Rachel05]

I guess the fact that I never even had to think about the answer means I am a No, I love being a cross dresser, it makes me feel nice, it makes me feel good, when I was younger and struggling with who I was and what I was then I would have been a yes please take it all away and make me "normal" but time has put paid to that and I embrace my life as a cross dresser now and am happy with it, the truth is I would be sad if I didn't have cross dressing in my life

[Raychel]

If I really had the choice, And I do believe that I do have a choice, If I really wanted to I could quit. (if it was something I really wanted)

I guess I would not change anything. I totally enjoy dressing up. I wish I had told my wife before we got married so she would have had the chance to run then, If she wanted to. But now this is where I am and no I don't think that I would change anything.

[Di]

Marleena I like your sig. I think it is a GIFT as well.

[jillleanne]

This could only be answered truthfully if I could actually try being either at will and then make that decision. However, I would love to be 'all' man or 'all' woman. I think being all woman would be much harder although if I was born a woman, how would I know that? Women have to endure much more than men at any given time. I don't envy them, but I would love being one if only for a moment.

[abigailf]

Given my situation, married with kids, I would give it up in a heartbeat. Too many people are going to be impacted by my transition and as I have a female brain, it is in my nature to worry about them. It would be easier on them if I could give it up.

But that's not the case. Giving it up is beyond difficult and likely not to happen, so here we are ....

[LeaP]

No. Much of what makes up my persona would have to go with the crossdressing. As difficult as it is being in the middle, where else could I go?

I can't choose between being me and being something completely other. I've already tried just giving up the crossdressing (multiple times!) ... doesn't work!

Lea

[Mollyanne]

I have accepted who I am and have come to terms with it. Yes, there have been times when I have "purged" in the hope that my cd'in' would go away. But it never did!!!! When it came back, it came back stronger then before. Actually the more I dress, the better I feel so I guess in essence I wouldn't change who I am except for one fact and that being I WISH I WAS A FEMALE!!!!!!!

Molly

[Marleena]

Marleena I like your sig. I think it is a GIFT as well.

Thanks Di,:) It took me way too long to realize that it really is.

[sometimes_miss]

If I really wanted to I could quit. (if it was something I really wanted)

Yup. All smokers say the same thing. And alcoholics. And drug addicts. And fat people. "I can quit any time I want to".
right.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

I would only quit, if I fall in love with a woman, who can not deal with it or probably if I have to decide between getting children or not. In all other cases I will go on, as long as I can. But yeah is it hard to get acceptance from possible girlfriends...

But anyway, I am sure I can quit, but why, I am actually a better person - or at least I let my better side out this way *lol*. The next days will change s.th., on a fast road of outing to a couple of friends, they seen my mascara and eye shadow - only a matter of time...

[lynnhaven]

Im sorry its so hard on some of you to be CDs...I so enjoy a man that does and I think youre all very sexy! Guess I add to the problem! LOL

[DonnaG]

Good bye and good ridence

[ArleneRaquel]

I could never give up my life as Arlene.

[ashleigh2be]

I really like the dressing.

[Jennifer529]

I love being who I am,I will alway's be who and what I am,and enjoy it to the fullest :)

[BonnieSue]

JaytoJillian, you have dressing down great, I wish I could look as good as you.

[Claire Cook]

Nope would not change me...I would change the world. If I didn't have my TG side I would be a very boring person


Yes, I like me as is, but I would love to change our society's level of acceptance with the wave of a wand. I am soooooo "normal" and boring outside of CDing--I'm just downright boring.

You two have said it for me!

[Geneva Lake]

I'd drop this "problem" in a minute. If only I could.

[Megan70]

I have answered this so many times in the past few years that I have writers cramp and am not going to go into my long diatribe again, so the super abridged version is NO I would never ever so it, try it, get involved with it if I had i choice. Its hurt me and too many others in my lifetime an unlike others who will never sheepishly admit it, it has been a goddamn curse and abboration for me to live with. I have several threads and posts under the "curse" keyword. My answer and opinion only, no battles or dicussions please... carry on to the next guy( girl/)

[Cheryl T]

If the choice was simply between being CD and being either male or female (the choice of which would be mine alone) then yes, I would choose not to be CD. I would choose to be female.
I know that those around me would certainly choose for me not to be CD, if they were aware.

Even though my spouse is 100% supportive I'm sure that she would choose for me not to be CD and would of course prefer me to be 100% male.

Of course none of the above can happen. It's not the reality I exist in and therefore it becomes only an additional bit of mind baggage to consider such a possibility. Just one more tidbit to create doubt and self-guilt, which I for one will not entertain.

"I am what I am and that's all what I am"....(No, I'm not Popeye)

I love the way I feel when I express my femininity and I will not give up that portion of my being.

[jacky83]

I love crossdressing as it brings out another person in me,i wouldnt change a thing as being able to express that side of me is such a wonderfull thing that i think we should all embrace and not resent!
Totally agree!

Michael in "Billy Elliot the Musical" expresses my position perfectly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRanzpVYx-s

[Brenda Freeman]

When I was younger (from age of discovery to late 40's) I so wanted my CD desires to just go away, yet they were what made me feel really special and happy (not empty inside). As I have become older I find I care less what others think and though I do limit my dressing to acceptable venues, I love it, and it is a big part of my every day thoughts. I think I relate so much better to both sexes living a little in both worlds! Wish everyone could see both sides. Maybe the world would be a much better place.

[Marleena]

Im sorry its so hard on some of you to be CDs...I so enjoy a man that does and I think youre all very sexy! Guess I add to the problem! LOL

We need more GG's that think like this. It would make our lives much easier, thanks Lynn.:)

Thanks for your honesty too ladies.:)

[Shiny]

If I had a choice? I'd quit! Totally! (read my old article: "the red pill or the blue pill") Persuing this hobby, at least for me has not been by choice but by compulsion. I have learned to live with it and have gotten over the guilt and purges and such but there's always that "secret" you can't tell anyone. That, and the fact that it's isolating, the practice itself turns most of us into solitary loner types. And, there's the cost of this "hobby" to consider and the time it has taken away from your free time to do something more worthwhile.

[CINDYO]

Your post makes me feel sad. I hope that you have someone to be close with. I don't really understand cding but i have come to realize that it must not be a choice after reading all the posts on this site. I hope i can become more accepting of my SO.

[Marleena]

Your post makes me feel sad. I hope that you have someone to be close with. I don't really understand cding but i have come to realize that it must not be a choice after reading all the posts on this site. I hope i can become more accepting of my SO.

Cindy, for most of us it is not a choice, we feel compelled to do it. I don't really understand it either, I have no idea where it came from. I can't describe how wonderful I feel when I dress. My SO kind of understands it. Most of society doesn't, and frowns upon us, or worse.

[PretzelGirl]

Someone a lot smarter than me made me. Why would I argue with that?

[Mrs Roads]

Girl, if I had the choice I'd been born as the woman in my avatar pic - seriously :battingeyelashes:

[janeycdbbw]

I like being a CD, but when young I had to go through all the questions in my head as to what or who I was. No change for me, I am a CD.

[Jennifer Cox]

It's a curse that I wish I'd never encountered. I eventually learned to accept myself as a CD/TV but then in later years it turned to GD. By that time I had a wife & family etc. Now my life is completely f**ked up!

[Marleena]

It's a curse that I wish I'd never encountered. I eventually learned to accept myself as a CD/TV but then in later years it turned to GD. By that time I had a wife & family etc. Now my life is completely f**ked up!

So sorry Jennifer! I have read that sometimes this does happen. We cannot predict where it will go, it's not your fault, really it isn't.

[NicolaF]

If i could get rid of it from my mind i think things definitely would be easier. I have often wished i didn't have a desire to cross dresser but slowly ive begun to realise that this is probably something that will never go away so i am trying to accept it, but for now yes i definitely wish i didn't have the desire to dress.

[gabimartini]

I guess to those who embrace CDing as a fetish or to seek sexual gratification, it may be fun to dress. But to those who do it because they have gender issues and can't stand being stuck in a male body and a male life, it's not so much fun, I'll tell you. I fall in the second category. Hence, if I really had a choice, I'd like for my gender confusion (which makes me pursue dressing) to go away, never to return.

[cassandra54]

really??? i have a choice every time i dress, every day i am at home and every time i buy new clothes. i spent almost 55 years on this planet before i made a choice. can i choose not to? absolutely. will i choose not to? absolutely not.

by the way my SO knows and we spend a lot of time together when i am dressed. i told her in no uncertain terms that once i started, i wasn't turning back.

[Melody1985]

Well Marleena. Like your signature says...

Crossdressing is a gift that I keep giving myself...

[Marleena]

Well Marleena. Like your signature says...

Crossdressing is a gift that I keep giving myself...

I understand that answer quite well.:)

[Fiona Scott]

I would not change a thing. Its simple...... I like CDing. It was a problem for me when I was younger and before the internet as I felt alone and isolated but now I dont thanks to forums like this. In any case why should the GGs be the only ones to get to ware all the sexy stuff !
Fiona
xxx

[Iris]

It took a while before I admitted for myself that I was a crossdresser but if I had the choice I would not change anything. It only enriched my life, despite the 'bumpy' road.

[danielletorresani]

Though dressing up has provided me with a lot of pleasure and hot times, overall I'd rather I never got into it. It's caused me a lot of stress in my life, and I don't like keeping secrets from my wife. And before any of you say, "then just tell her!", know that if I told her I'd lose my marriage. And no, I don't love crossdressing more than my wife. Though I do love it....

[Bran]

Honestly, I'd rather not be a CD'er.

[Donna St. Marten]

I would'nt have it any other way. While you have pointed out the downside of being a CD'er, the fullfillment that I have achieved by being able to explore my feminine sied is well worth it.

[Marleena]

Marleena, didn't we pretty much cover this topic in a recent thread which you started as well?

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?163675-Crossdressing-is-a-gift-not-a-curse!

Maybe there's a nuance in the meaning here compared with the other thread that I'm not quite clueing into...:confused: :thinking:

Leslie there is a small difference to this one. The gift thread is an attempt to change attitudes about CDing. This one is asking CDers their own opinions on their CDing. :)

[Julie Denier]

Honestly, I'd rather not be a CD'er.

I'd have to agree. As great as it feels to dress, for me the feelings are outweighed by the complications it presents in my life.

[HairyBethCD]

If I could stop right now, I would. Being this way has caused me huge amounts of shame, anxiety and self-loathing over the years. Most people who know me know about it and are fine but it's not stopped me feeling bad. My wife hates it (I have recently found) and it's part of the reason our marriage is now struggling after narly 20 years of thinking she was Ok with it. I'm happy for those that can see it in a positive light but for me it's been a curse.

[SamanthaS]

I wish there was a cure for cross dressing. I'd take it right away if there was one.

[Stephanie47]

It took years to accept myself for who I am. As a teenager with no Internet or information, I assumed I was gay. Being gay in the 1960's is not what being gay may be today. Growing up questioning one's sexuality is difficult. It is no easier now, but, there is more acceptance.

Of course I would rather not be a cross dresser. Cross dressing is a small part of who I am. I am comfortable being a man. I am not a female trapped in a male body. And, maintaining two wardrobes is rather expensive.

The positive effect on my mind is my acceptance of other person's sexuality that may be different than mine.

[Nichola]

Despite all the ups & downs it's caused me, I'd still choose to do this. I love it:)

[sinead]

I am what I am and proud of it BUT it would be better if the whole world accepted us

[Eve II]

Hmmmm , I wish more that it really didn't matter what we do or wear. I would love to just wear whatever
we wanted - a dress to the "9s", men's slack and shirt but with my perky "girls" showing proudly, skirt, stockings & heels
with a button down shirt & wearing my 1/2 cup bra and my "girls" jiggling, etc. I also know part of the problem is "ME" because I don't do the above. I need to untuck my balls and "Just Do IT"

[johanna.kitten]

I wish there was a cure for cross dressing. I'd take it right away if there was one.

No hope, I hope none of us really think this is something thas needs to be cured. it is as some poster wrote "a blessing".

/Johanna

[stacycoral]

I would not change a thing. Its simple...... I like CDing. It was a problem for me when I was younger and before the internet as I felt alone and isolated but now I dont thanks to forums like this. In any case why should the GGs be the only ones to get to ware all the sexy stuff !
Fiona
xxx

Fiona, i could not say it better, i love to dress

[stacycoral]

I am what I am and proud of it BUT it would be better if the whole world accepted us
I would have to say i feel the same here on this statement, maybe some day.

[Allisa]

I don't think so.I just wish I started fully dressing when I was much younger when I was smoother,tighter and more femininely shaped.But then I would have missed so much of my masculine training and fun guy things.I'm so confused now AAAARRRRRGGGG!!!!!!

[jennylogan]

Wouldn't change a thing other than coming out to my wife sooner. I enjoy every second of every minute being en femme and wish like crazy I could go full time. Alas the job and family matters prevent that from becoming my reality any time soon.

[Adron2009]

While I must admit, as others have, it has come with a lot of stress and a divorce but I would not change a thing. I feel it is an integral part of me and my personality and makes me who I am. It would be the same as some asking me if I wanted to "remove" an important part of my personality.

[DAVIDA]

If this were a "choice", it is one that I would have never chosen.
Personally, my belief is that I was born this way, or I would have NEVER been inclined to take this path in life.
Now that I know that it isn't a choice and that it is something that I cannot change, I accept it.
I am one very blessed crossdresser. My wife, Jean, has known from the night that I proposed.
Her acceptance has never wavered. And it was Jean that helped me come to terms with being a CD.
But, if it were a choice, no way!

[Princess29]

While it has taught me to be more understanding of people's differences, if I could turn off the "melissa switch", I would




Melissa

[jillleanne]

If I had of had a choice I would have been a............ How would I know that? Would I know what I was already ahead of time? Would I at the time of choosing, know the life of a TG person? Would I know Ross Stores has unbelievable sales all the time? Would I ......????

[Shadowgirl89]

I had the choice I would prefer to have never started dressing it's caused nothing but problems with my family but I just can't seem to stop

[MissMarcie]

Anyone who says they'd choose being a CD is either a liar or a mental patient. I cringe when I see some of the people here use the term, "gender gifted". This is a curse, not a gift. No way in hell would I choose this.

[JessHaust]

Not at this point, I rather enjoy my girl time.

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm fine with who I am.

[moondog]

Right now I'm in between, which is to say I'm feeling as though I am slipping beyond simple crossdressing to transgender. And if I continue on this path I believe I will progress to the point where I completely transition. My life is really turning upside down.

So I guess I would say it's not possible to "turn off" my crossdressing as for me it's become a matter of sexual identity.

[Laura912]

If it were an either or, yes or no, then no. I do not want to be a cross dresser...this after 70 years of struggling with it. I can live with it better now (you folks help), but how much energy has been spent on this? Too much.
Laura

[Cindia]

First choice would to have been born female, second choice would be that i could dress whenever I felt like it and in public with out issue. Third choice would be to not to want to dress.

At times I wish I could stop, not be cause I think its bad or wrong, but since I have to do it mostly in the closet, I tend to waste a lot of time on it. I only call it wasted because I usually can't get anything but some minor house work done.

[LeAnnWa]

It makes me happy to be both LeAnn and a man. If I as was sorry to dress as a woman it has long since past.

[Ashley S]

Add mine to the votes against. Being transgendered sucks. I don't think anyone would willingly subject themselves to such a confusing and difficult life, if actually given a choice.

[whowhatwhen]

Yeah, I wouldn't choose this either.
Even if it's just something simple like crossdressing there is just too much hostility in the world and too much pain for being different.

[Annaliese2010]

It's my current reality. It stems from an inner condition that isn't so ingrained as to be etched in stone, which I realize and respect is the case for many others. My gender identification while true to heart, is at the moment. At This particular cross-roads. Real for now but fluid and changeable, largely determined or altered by GG women. Since there is no one in my life right now, it is as if I've drifted to where I am to compensate for the void. I consider myself truly & legitimately M2F transgendered. The act of so called 'crossdressing' is a feature of such a mindset though by no means a prime motivator. I simply do not place much emphasis or focus much attention on the simple act of CD'ing. Yes I am fastidious, fashion conscious and I hope, attractive and sexy by my choices of makeup and clothing. But beyond that I am otherwise too scattered or preoccupied in the ways I assume many women are with respect to other things & interests to thus 'fixate' on such a basic everyday activity as dressing.

[BRANDYJ]

I would not change a thing. How boring it would be to be stuck in drab male clothes. It's more then clothes however. I like the duality of who and what I am. I like being a man. I like being a woman when the mood, time and need strikes my softer side. I honestly believe that having this feminine side helped me appreciate, respect and adore women more then I might have otherwise. Many of my emotions, feelings, and core values have been altered from what I think most males might be like.
Being a part time woman has definitely helped me be a better man. I'm happy the way I am.

[LeaP]

When I first joined this forum I was embracing my CDing and have an accepting SO.

The fact is we are what we are and it won't go away.

I only see a very small amount of members who have SO's that really are okay with it. I see lots of horror stories. Then there is the intolerance from society as a whole.

So if you really had a choice would you take it or leave it?

The wit in me reminds me of something I said to my therapist: "At this point I wouldn't identify myself as a crossdresser in a million years!" SO, I don't have to choose not being THAT! What a relief!

On the other hand, would I choose not being what I am? No. I see the challenge as accepting what I am - really accepting it. Were I given the magical choice, I would remain as-is and continue down the path of learning to deal with it.

Lea

[Diane Smith]

My first choice would be for the social stigmas against crossdressing to be erased -- then we could all do it, or not, to the degree that it made us comfortable. I'm not unhappy to have experienced the feeling of women's clothes, the pampering at the salons, or the support of the other special people I've met; it's only the fear about how it might affect my relationships, family and career that bothers me. All in all I'd rather put my energy toward changing society than changing myself all that much.

- Diane

[DanaR]

For the most part, I like who I am. I sometimes have conflicting feelings between my girl and guy sides though. As a guy, I mess around with cars sometimes, but as a girl I'm girly. I don't like the grease and dirt, so sometimes it is hard for me to get excited about working on a car.

[Delila]

I have to agree with the stuck between posts. I would rather be settled on one gender. not that i could probably ever tell what said gender would be.

[Delila]

My first choice would be for the social stigmas against crossdressing to be erased -- then we could all do it, or not, to the degree that it made us comfortable. I'm not unhappy to have experienced the feeling of women's clothes, the pampering at the salons, or the support of the other special people I've met; it's only the fear about how it might affect my relationships, family and career that bothers me. All in all I'd rather put my energy toward changing society than changing myself all that much.

- Diane
The constant social stigma is sadly noyt helped by what feels like a recent multitude of men crossdressing.

Social stigma is what keeps all of us in the closet.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If I was sure that by stopping my dressing I would meet someone and finally have a wife, yes I would, no doubt.

[Nicola2876]

It would probably make my life easier if i didnt cd but I have always done it or wanted to so I dont know any different. I couldnt imagine not wanting to wear nice clothes.

[Erin24]

If dressing en femme, or more importantly, feeling like a girl most of the time was something i could go back n switch off, im sure that i would.. However, at this point i wouldnt change who i am for anything, im sure that through out my life i will lose friends, n probably family because its harder for people to accept me for who i actualy am than it is to hang out or be seen with someone whos lifestyle would be considered as something that goes against their morals or society set standards... Either way, ill trade judgement for the feel of a new dress any day! Im proud of who i am, and that aint gonna change at all ;) xoxox -Erin

[JessicaM1985]

Honestly? If I were given a choice, then yes I would stop. I prefer to be an admirer, rather than both an admirer AND a crossdresser. But life has dealt me this hand and I'm going to make the best of it. There's plenty of things that I'd change in my life, but it doesn't do anyone any good to sit around moping and asking, "Why me?"

[moondog]

For me it isn't just about enjoying dressing up pretty. So I would also need to be rid of gender and sexual identity confusion otherwise being "cured" of wanting to crossdress would do absolutely nothing for me.

[Ava Tryptyk]

I think that my interest in dressing is a healthy interest and it hasn't caused me any problems with relationships, though I'm still young and haven't gotten married or anything like that yet. My only issue right now is that I'm always living with other people and don't have a place of my own where I am sure that no one else will be looking through my things. If I didn't have an interest in crossdressing, I might have become interested in something more harmful.

I can't exactly say that I'd rather be female, because I'm fine with being male. I just want to wear girl clothes.

[Krististeph]

Good question. but the problem is i do not know what it is to not be a CD/TG.
As Spock said Star Trek IV: (paraphrased) the conjecture would have no meaning since the other had not experienced it.
I'd rather live fully CD or transgendered than not at all.

kristi

[Rachel Renee]

Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't give it up for anything. I love my female side and it's one of my favorite parts of being me. I've found a good balance and it works. Of course, I do have it a bit easier than others, in that I don't have a wife/family that could be affected. Still, whomever I end up in a serious relationship with will need to know about me, and at least understand that it is something that I will always do. Period. But they could come out with a "cure" tomorrow and I would happily decline.

[Leslie Iz]

For me it was never a choice, just a burning desire that continues 24/7.

[Miranda G]

Up until a year ago I would have given anything not to be CD as it was making me very unhappy, mainly due to it being at total odds to the image I had of myself, ie, a man's man. However since coming to terms with it and, most crucially, confiding in a couple of people, I now wouldn't change it even if I could. Why? Well simply put it makes me feel right, because I now understand that it's part of what makes me me and is something to be embraced for its presence within me rather than resented. It took me a long time to get here and I ain't ever going back :-)