costume parties

[Princess29]

I was recently invited to a costume party next year for the 18th birthday of a daughter of a woman at work (the mother invited me). She said that its a costume party and the theme is "the letter C".
Her daughter initially thought of "cinderella" but decided against it apparantly and when the woman said that to me, I said in response "oh good, you mean that's still open then?"
Her response was "I dare you"

Now, nobody at work knows about melissa and I'm not sure if I'd really want them to know but its kind of tempting to go for something like "cheerleader", "can can dancer" or something of a femme nature.
I suppose "crossdresser" is an option too.

With Halloween just occuring, what I was wondering is that have any of you (who arent "out), fully dressed femme for a function where people from work attended and what happened afterwards?

Even if not for halloween, who has gone the femme option for a costume party, done as good a job as you can to be convincing and did you more love that you'd done it afterwards or did you get abuse or just some good natured teasing afterwards?


Mel

[Stefanie_in_Mt]

A club I belong to used to have switch night around halloween each year, I would go enfemme and my ex would dress up like a guy, they had no idea what it ment to me, co-workers would be there and they all thought we were doing it for raising money for kids with cancer. We were and thats a good thing but also for me it was a chance to be out enfemme. I wish they still put on this event

[Chickhe]

I can use my halloween adventures as an example. I dress up almost every year. There are friends and family who don't know. If they find out and ask about it, I need to be able to say without my face turning red....'yup, I do it every year!...its kind of a tradition'. Shrug...next question....

Most people will think its cool. The daughter, unless she knows you really well may not...

[Cheryl T]

It wasn't for work, but a while back a close friend had a party for Halloween and I did go dressed.
When I entered I walked right past him and some others I knew and not one recognized me. After the finally realized who I was it was all laughs. Of course all the girls cornered me and just had to know all about it. Some wanted to know who did my makeup, others what lingerie I was wearing. It was a great experience and actually my first time in public.

[KandisTX]

The nice thing about people having costume parties throughout the year is that you can wear whatever you want to wear. If they give you a theme, that makes it even better because you can usually go a little nuts with your costume. Life is too short not to do the things that make us happy. If I were you I would jump at the chance to be able to go out dressed up, especially if it is a costume party since EVERYONE should be dressed in something "out of the ordinary" for them. :)

[Daphne Renee]

I have never been invited to a costume party outside of Halloween. I would love to have another excuse to go somewhere dressed though.

[J'lyn GG]

Not to be a buzzkill, but people really aren't as stupid as you would like to think they are. They probably won't guess you're a cder, but they will wonder what the deal is. The makeup is TOO good. Wig is TOO nice to be cheap. Shoes are TOO cute to be from goodwill. And size 13, 14, 15 in cute shoes are practically impossible to find anywhere other than online. Believe me, hubby and I have looked. And if they see you more than once, (say, at the party and at Halloween. Several years in a row) well...like I said, they will have 'hmmmm' thoughts. And if they are polite, they won't say anything to you.

On a side note, if some guy I barely knew showed up at my 18th birthday party and stole all my thunder, I'd be ticked. Good luck with your decision.

[Megan70]

I'd say just "camp it up" in a sloppy corny not TOO good of way like you know too much about dressing, go with the flow, the kidding and joshing, and enjoy it both ways, secretly and publically as a drag girl( not queen). Do it but lay low to the girl celebrating her birthday, You should be third stringer at that party.

[Launa]

I had some friends- husband and wife, that went to a murder mystery party one night. They decided to switch their roles and the guy was in a nice dress and all. Nobody knew they were doing it. When they got to the party everybody for the most part was fine and a couple of women were a little giggly about it. There were a couple of dudes and a girlfriend said I can't believe he did that. One guy said I'm having a hard time talking face to face with all your make up on. A few comments were made from the wife like who cares etc...
All and all it was ok for them but not super comfortable. Now in this case you describe I think its a little different because you had the mother tell you that I dare you. That right there is almost a free pass to giver hard, sissy dress, wand and all. If you decide you want to do this then drop more hints to her and see if you get the full green light to go. If so tell her you've gone to the local costume shop and have found something and they have somebody willing to put you together but your too nervous and see her reaction. If she gets excited about it then do it and tell her you will really look the part etc.. She will tell you if it would go over well or not.
Do you feel it would be ok in your gut if this lady tells everybody at work what you did Monday morning? If you are ok with everything then GO HARD!!!
Good luck. If you do it tell us how it goes.

[rachellegsep]

Off the top of my head - Cat woman, Cleopatra, Cagny (cagny & lacy), Cruella de Ville, Cindy (barbies opposition or Crawford), Coco Channel.

[eluuzion]

Not to be a buzzkill, but people really aren't as stupid as you would like to think they are. They probably won't guess you're a cder, but they will wonder what the deal is. The makeup is TOO good. Wig is TOO nice to be cheap. Shoes are TOO cute to be from goodwill. And size 13, 14, 15 in cute shoes are practically impossible to find anywhere other than online. Believe me, hubby and I have looked. And if they see you more than once, (say, at the party and at Halloween. Several years in a row) well...like I said, they will have 'hmmmm' thoughts. And if they are polite, they won't say anything to you.

On a side note, if some guy I barely knew showed up at my 18th birthday party and stole all my thunder, I'd be ticked. Good luck with your decision.

I agree. In this case, there is a only a fine line between self-disguise and self-deception. Never wave your arms when you are trying to hide, lol.

:love:

[Suzy Parker]

If I was single and living on my own i would throw a masquerade ball (Ball Gowns Required) on December 31 and invite everyone. There will of course be a nice prize for the most fabulous gown. I think that would be fun.

Suzy 2

[Princess29]

For the first time since she invited me, I saw that woman at work again today. The first thing she asked me was "so, are you ready to be cinderella for the party?"
I said "sure"
She said how her daughter cracked up laughing when she was told about me being cinderella. After that, she went around saying to people we were working with how I was going to be cinderella for a costume party. I just said "oh yeah, sure" but I didnt do it in a good, bad, angry or embarrassed way. Chances are the whole thing will be forgotten in a week and its nearly 4 months to go to the party and it might end up not mattering anyway as I may have to work that night, I will have no way of knowing for quite a while yet

["Mary"]

Not to be a buzzkill, but people really aren't as stupid as you would like to think they are. They probably won't guess you're a cder, but they will wonder what the deal is. The makeup is TOO good. Wig is TOO nice to be cheap. Shoes are TOO cute to be from goodwill. And size 13, 14, 15 in cute shoes are practically impossible to find anywhere other than online. Believe me, hubby and I have looked. And if they see you more than once, (say, at the party and at Halloween. Several years in a row) well...like I said, they will have 'hmmmm' thoughts. And if they are polite, they won't say anything to you.

On a side note, if some guy I barely knew showed up at my 18th birthday party and stole all my thunder, I'd be ticked. Good luck with your decision.

This is a very good point - especially if you want to keep your secret strictly a secret.

But I'd like to take this in a slightly different direction. Depending on your role, relationships and situation at work, you could make this an "open secret" - something that folks kinda know - without you shoving it in their face and intentionally making them uncomfortable. I like the Cheerleader option, but Cinderella is nice too and that seems to be the "dare".

But like Megan says, don't upstage the birthday girl.

[pernille d]

I can't speak about male female fancy dress. But just recently to a masquerade ball . I did something way out of character of the evening . There where 2000 attending and when I arrived first in the evening to board a coach to the ball there was hardly anyone dressed up in the theme so i felt vey alone. But i thought what the heck let's have fun any way ,
I was so so wrong , when I arrived I was the star and to cut a long stor short I won oughtright the costume prize . + had the best evening I have had in years ,

What has this to do with your question!!! Well it's simple I am old enough to be the parents of 70% of the people in the company but I put them all to Shame. Simply because I had the guts to do what I did. Even guys came up to me and said cool costume !!! , So if you believe in what you are doing is right and you are not frightened to do it give it a go . DO IT!!!! If it fails people will just remember you for dressing up as a girl at that party , nothing more .

[StevieTV]

You can always go with Cinderella and tell people you turn back to a man at midnight. Or you could be Cinderfella and dress up 1/2 way saying one of your evil stepsisters took your clothes.

[Princess29]

I do know the kids as they used to be brought along when that woman would turn up to some functions outside of work. If she keeps going on about it, I'll play up to it saying things like "you're just worried I'm going to be prettier than you" etc.
I figure too that if I try and go for proper makeup, shoes etc I could just say "I know some people who could help me".

[Princess29]

A new development with this party. The date for it has had to be changed and now the date of the daughters 18th birthday party will actually be on my birthday next year.
So maybe dress as cinderella for my birthday?

[Christinedreamer]

Since the woman has brought it up again and her daughter is aware of it, I would they would be disappointed if you DIDN'T show up as Cinderella.

A few years ago our MCC church had its yearly Mardi Gras fund raiser party where everyone was in outrageous costumes. This was the first party of the church I had ever attended. The MCC church is primarily gay but open to all. I joined with my GF since her daughter is gay. The church is quite used to drag etc at their talent shows and parties but they were not prepared see me in any sort of drag. I look about as straight and down home as you can imagine. I am the guy who built the stage risers for the choir and did all the sound and lighting work. I just wasn't even considered to have a really "weird " side.

The night of the party my GF helped me get into my Little Bo Peep pink dress (custom made for me) with a full petticoat and wig with a big lacey bonnet with a big pink ribbon bow in the back, my shepherds crook and a little straw basket for a purse.

We had rented a party room at a Hilton hotel here in Whitttier, CA and when they saw us coming down the main hallway with my GF as Glenda the Good Witch and me as LBP, the assistant pastor who is a big bellied guy almost hard a heart attack from laughing so hard. Every time he looked at me during the night he broke out laughing again. It was a thrill for me to be out and dressed like that but it was all fun for everyone else too.

I would say to take the opportunity you have and have a ball with it but as others have advised, be sure the young lady is the star of the party.

[Beverley Sims]

We threw a party for a friend of mine, a bachelor.
Our hobby meant we met once or twice a month.
An all males out evening.
For the party wives were invited and they brought a plate with food.
The men brought the drinks.
Well as it transpired his long lost girlfriend turned up, with someone else's baby.
The un-nerving thing was that they made me up so well I was not recognized by any one else, till we told them later in the evening.
A couple of people were suspicious as they knew I should be there.
My friend did not even guess.
I was younger then and it was a blast!
What I am saying is go for it a little theatre never hurt any one.

[UNDERDRESSER]

While the comments about doing it "Too well" are definitely something to think about, given that it's such a long way off, you could sort of treat comments about it casually, but come the time, go all out.

"Well I started trying to find a costume, and I got thinking about how good I could get it, you would be surprised how many makeover videos are on YouTube!" or something along those lines, then drop a little curtsy and say, "Kinda feels nice, you should try it!"

[emilygielen]

Last time I went to a costume party, was for Halloween for my sister in law's birthday... We went to a nightclub and who came disguised, could enter for free...
As I was thinking of what to wear, my sister in law told me why don't you dress as a girl? And I told her I could go as a cheerleader... So that's what I did...
I went to the club as a cheerleader :D

[DonnaT]

I've not done it, however, in your situation, with everyone already anticipating your costume, then I say have a good time on your birthday. I just hope the weathers not too hot for the outfit.

[Nikki A.]

Have dressed 3 times at work for Halloween over the years. One year the girls in the office "coerced" me into doing it. They did my make-up etc while my wife "lent" me some clothes.
Over all I do get kidded some times but other than that it is business as usual.

[Princess29]

I was talking again to that woman last night, saying how I dont want to try and steal her daughters thunder with the party being for her birthday but the party happens to fall on my birthday. She said not to worry about it and I just said that all I'd like is for people to acknowledge my birthday with a simple "happy birthday".
We also discussed other costume options and she didnt seem to give two hoots whether I go as a girl or not, let alone as cinderella. Which is not a bad thing, its completely up to me and she would be happy to have me there either way. Apparantly 25 people from work have been invited

[JoanAz]

Go to the Costume party, you will be a HIT. I did ny neighbors 90 Birthday party @ the Elks Club probably 150 members and I came out of a big gift box as a French maid. here is a link to the Post.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?88949-quot-Coming-Out-quot&highlight=
By the way My hair is my own and NO One ever says anything about it...

[Rachel Morley]

Apparantly 25 people from work have been invited GULP! :worried: ... that's how I'd feel if I was going to be dressed as Cinderella in front of my coworkers! (coworkers who don't know that I crossdress).

I wait with baited breath for the outcome :)

[ashlylynn]

rachellegsep had excellent ideas - Cat woman, Cleopatra, Cagny (cagny & lacy), Cruella de Ville, Cindy (barbies opposition or Crawford), Coco Channel.

But remember that when YOU dress as a woman, you probably try to PRESENT AS ( pass ) as such
and the MOVEMENT you may need to do ( or not do ) may be the thing that either makes you feel
uncomfortable ( doing it in front of others - or not, as part of you may be unhappy "dressed" )

Since this "seems" like a good opportunity to dress, what you really need to ask yourself is
- do you go 100% the part and maybe reveal more about your secret life ( there will be some who question it )
and maybe use that as the way to let others know and relieve some of that tension - or invite issues
or
- do you go dressed and act like a man inside ( walk, talk, stand, sit, hang out with a particular crowd and
do your best not to let your secret out )
or
- do you go as the you they know and avoid all that - then kick yourself later.

...if only you had a three-sided coin to flip.

[Princess29]

rachellegsep had excellent ideas - Cat woman, Cleopatra, Cagny (cagny & lacy), Cruella de Ville, Cindy (barbies opposition or Crawford), Coco Channel.

But remember that when YOU dress as a woman, you probably try to PRESENT AS ( pass ) as such
and the MOVEMENT you may need to do ( or not do ) may be the thing that either makes you feel
uncomfortable ( doing it in front of others - or not, as part of you may be unhappy "dressed" )

Since this "seems" like a good opportunity to dress, what you really need to ask yourself is
- do you go 100% the part and maybe reveal more about your secret life ( there will be some who question it )
and maybe use that as the way to let others know and relieve some of that tension - or invite issues
or
- do you go dressed and act like a man inside ( walk, talk, stand, sit, hang out with a particular crowd and
do your best not to let your secret out )
or
- do you go as the you they know and avoid all that - then kick yourself later.

...if only you had a three-sided coin to flip.


At a minimum, if I go wearing a dress or skirt, I'd have to sit and stand appropriately and would say as such to whoever is at the party. Where I work is a major gossip centre anyway so this would add some fuel to the fire and give the gossipers something to talk about.
The woman in question (lets call her M) has said that her son (to give you an idea of the calibre of what others are thinking of) wants to go as a "human condom" but whether or not he does, well, only time will tell.
I have found a costume store online in australia that sells a female cheerleader costume that is cut for and aimed at men

[DeeArel]

If you go, do it with class and elegance. There may be those who comment after the event for years, but if you do it right you can smile and ignore them.

[ashlylynn]

At a minimum, if I go wearing a dress or skirt, I'd have to sit and stand appropriately and would say as such to whoever is at the party. Where I work is a major gossip centre anyway so this would add some fuel to the fire and give the gossipers something to talk about.
The woman in question (lets call her M) has said that her son (to give you an idea of the calibre of what others are thinking of) wants to go as a "human condom" but whether or not he does, well, only time will tell.
I have found a costume store online in australia that sells a female cheerleader costume that is cut for and aimed at men

Cool - just didn't want this to end in one of those Wrongful Dismissal trials.

[Princess29]

Thanks Ashlylynn.
I was talking to a guy at work tonight about it, saying about the exchange that I had with M about the cinderella idea and he just seemed to make a kind of derogatory comment about the concept.
A million things could happen between now and then. Most likely I will chicken out and go for something safer

[Princess29]

I was thinking that if I go as a girl and try to do it properly, not as a campy joke, I wonder if it would be perceived as being weirder or more unusual than someone who is dressed as a Carrot, a cucumber, a cowboy, A condom (for goodness sake) etc? and no doubt someone will go as the human centipede.

[gaylegirlify]

I once went to a crossdress disco for work back in the day of disco's, my wife gave me a long black dress, did my make up and put a wig on me, she went with me , i danced with the boss and had numerous offers to dance, all in good fun ( little did they know) needless to say i had a fantastic evening and everyone was ok with it.