Anyone else happy in the closet?

[Amy_Olivia]

I've seen a lot of talk from CDs on this forum and other places about being "out". The majority of people I see tend to either be "out", or want to come out but are scared to. I wondered if there were any people in the third group - people who are perfectly happy with that part of their life staying private. Personally, I am quite happy with this part of my life staying private. I think my family would be quite accepting about it, but I'm perfectly happy with being male most of the time and just taking a little time to bring out my feminine side, but in private. It's something that's for me, so I'm happy with it staying private. I'll probably tell my SO one day when and if I find one, but apart from that... does anyone else feel the same way?

[lovingloss]

We all have our own boundaries and limitations and I can only talk about myself. My current commitments in life limit me to what I can do. I keep within those boundaries and hence there is no option or need for me to find acceptance by anyone. However it would be deliverance to have acceptance and support from my SO.... ans I hope it get there sometime in the future.

But there is what Scarlet Rose has referred to ... the adrenalin rush which at times does tempt one to step out. That is a beast that lurks in all of us and is restrained only by the commitments and limitations in out lives. Its a trade off ... but that is life :straightface:

[Erika Jane]

In a way :)
I am out to my family. I used to go sightseeing and shopping en-femme. But I have pretty much stopped it now, and I am quite content staying at home.
You see, at 6'2" I am not exactly "passable". I still recall walking over a bridge on my way back home from one of my shopping tours, and I met a family with a small boy. They went past me and the boy exclaimed: "Wow! The worlds tallest woman!"
Made me laugh, but made me think as well.
Sure, there is this desire to go out and show Erika to the world, but - what is exactly I am showing the world?
There is this effect in robotics: you don't make a robot too closely resembling a man/woman. If you try anyway, current SOTA technique doesn't allow you to make a perfect copy, and anyone will spot a fake almost instantly. And strangely enough these imperfect close copies will freak you out, while a straight glass and metal robot will not. The problem is, with this imperfect copy you will feel you are cheated (this robot tried to impersonate a real person, but he/she is not!), while with a metal robot you will take it for what it is, and there will not be this resentment of being cheated.
In a way I feel this situation is applicable to me as well. If I really try, I can make (all things considered) a good fake, but it will be spotted anyway. So I can't expect I will be treated as a woman - only as a crossdresser. With some frowns.
Is that what I want?
Probably not. And so I stay in the closet. Well - almost. As I said, I'm out to my family :)

My first post, BTW :)

[Stefanie_in_Mt]

I am a in the closet gurl, I'm six foot two, and could never pass, so I don't want to take the ridicule that so many narrow minded people ar so ready to throw at us. so I'll just keep it private

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

My closet is great. I have a make-up mirror, table and a nice chair, wardrobe and I even have a cam to see who is lurking outside my closet door. Oh yes sorry, I forgot to oil the hinges best go and do that now. :)

[wadevikingfan]

i am fine being in the closest...that way i can dress sexy and wear the 5 inch platforms shoes aroudn the house and feel good...and i don't feel like i have to dress every day...dressing every third day is fine with me..and , girls, do you like wearing platform shoes??? i tell ya, it really builds your claf muscles!!

wendy

[Anne2345]

I believe a vast majority of crossdressers are in the closet, and many are content or happy to remain in their closet. It is strictly a personal decision and choice, of which there is no right and wrong answer, except the answer that is appropriate for and made by the individual.

I used to love my closet. Although I am mostly still in the closet, the walls of my closet are not as solid as they once were. What worked for me in the past no longer works for me now. But I have nothing but respect for one's decision to remain in the closet, if that is what the individual chooses to do. I do not believe that each and every crossdresser has a desire to leave the closet. I further believe some simply have no desire or need to do so. It is as simple as that! Enjoy the blessed gift of crossdressing that has been bestowed upon you in the manner you deem fit . . . . :)

[Amy_Olivia]

Glad to see I've got a few replies. :) I think it's interesting to see all the different perspectives on this, we are one community and a small one at that, yet what we want for ourselves regarding CDing differs vastly from one person to another.



There is this effect in robotics: you don't make a robot too closely resembling a man/woman. If you try anyway, current SOTA technique doesn't allow you to make a perfect copy, and anyone will spot a fake almost instantly. And strangely enough these imperfect close copies will freak you out, while a straight glass and metal robot will not. The problem is, with this imperfect copy you will feel you are cheated (this robot tried to impersonate a real person, but he/she is not!), while with a metal robot you will take it for what it is, and there will not be this resentment of being cheated.
In a way I feel this situation is applicable to me as well. If I really try, I can make (all things considered) a good fake, but it will be spotted anyway. So I can't expect I will be treated as a woman - only as a crossdresser. With some frowns.
Is that what I want?
Probably not. And so I stay in the closet. Well - almost. As I said, I'm out to my family :)

I've heard about that effect. The Uncanny Valley, right? And I agree with what you're saying.

[April_Ligeia]

I also am half in half out of the closet. I fully dress at home pretty much full-time, and I go out wearing nail polish and makeup, and have visible piercings and tattoos. I am 6'5", so I would have a hard time passing as a woman, but to me it is about self-expression. I am not a transexual, so I do not care if I pass. Also, my size is an advantage because while I am sure people notice me and talk, only very rarely does anyone say anything to my face. And then it is usually a compliment lol.

[Marleena]

Amy, I'm in the closet too. I do not got out of the house dressed. That might change at some point but for now it's good enough.:)

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hi Anna,

I am happy for you in your current situation. I think I too was happy being private when I was 19 years of age.

I am not sure if this applies to most, but I think as we get older, we may have a feeling of missing out by remaining in the closet all of our life. I feel as we get older the desire to be that other person that we have hid in a closet all of our life just must emerge from the closet and experience life. I know I don't speak for all, but for me that has been the case, and I am so happy that I am becoming more true to myself.

Of course having a loving family that accepts your life style is also very very important in your decision. We all are different, and have different situations but I hope you find life to be happy no matter what path you take.

[Crissy Kay]

Hi Anna, Another happy closet dresser here!!! I prefer a sissy style of dressing in the first place, and second, I don"t have to worry about passing!! Last, I really don"t think its anyones business as long I am not breaking the law, or hurting anyone.

[docrobbysherry]

---------------------------- And the other is more of an adrenalin dare. -------------------------------------------------
I get that rush when I can dress however I want with no thots of being discovered or subject to anyone's opinion of how I'm dressed! Dressing and going out IS stressful, NOT accelerating for me!


i am fine being in the closest...that way i can dress sexy and wear the 5 inch platforms shoes aroudn the house and feel good...and i don't feel like i have to dress every day...dressing every third day is fine with me..and , girls, do you like wearing platform shoes??? i tell ya, it really builds your claf muscles!!
wendy
I agree completely! Dressing to blend when I must go out? STRESSFUL! Dressing like a sexy half naked hooker at home? PRICELESS!

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm very happy to be out of the closet. Being out has opened so many new doors and opportunities, including new friends. Once the closet door has been opened its hard to get back in, NOT that I want to.

[susangirl]

Anna, I overcame my fear of dressing as Susan in public around three months ago which followed many years of dressing in private. I only dress when I am in Atlanta which is where I work but don't live. I would go out for drives in the car and stay away for people as much as possible. I really don't know what happened one day. I just parked at one of the malls in Buckhead (just north of Atlanta) and walked into Maceys. You know what, THE WORLD DIDN'T STOP. Yes I few odd looks but so what. As for people I know I'm still in the closet and will always be in the closet. I think. It seems the more you cross dress the more you want to do and the braver one gets. Practice makes perfect. Now that am out (in Atlanta) and it's hard to think I was so scared of being caught in public wearing a dress, stockings and 4" pumps. It is what it is and the joy and excitement outweigh any disapproval some people may have. Never have had any problems while dressed as Susan. Just try the public cross dressing in the right situation one day and see how it works for you. Good luck with your cross dressing and enjoy every minute of it.

[Launa]

I used to feel just fine in the closet and did not want to ever venture out in public but as I got older and went through mid life, I decided I wanted to go out. I'm not scared to anymore. In 2012 it will be time to let er rip!

[nvlady]

I have loved womens clothing for over fifty-five years, and I am still in the closet. We are all individuals, some of us need to go out while others will probably never go out. I don't even have a fem name, because I don't feel that I need one if I'm never going to take that one giant leap out of my closet.

[jennCD]

I'm quite happy being where I am, yes. To be honest, the idea of going out and trying to "fit in" as Jenn has been something I'd thought about since the beginning, but the reality is I'm simply not a very social person in any regard. I stay home and spend time with my family and do not feel like I'm missing out on anything in my daily life so I cannot imagine what I'd do as Jenn, other than just run errands and such.
My situation in this sense is quite fine by me tho I wouldn't mind more time to myself at home to relax and dress every once in a while.

:)
jenn

[suzy1]

I am another one that’s happy in her closet Anna.

The funny thing is, when I started a thread on this very point I got some rather unpleasant replies. Things like, I was a coward, or I was letting the side down.
And if all of us were like me then society will never learn to accept us.

I tried to defend myself at first but soon learned that I was wasting my time.

It’s nice to see this post is going better than mine did.

SUZY

[Vickie_CDTV]

If one is happy being in the closet, then there is no reason one should not remain in the closet. One's life will be much easier being closeted than having to deal with the ramifications of being out. As my former girlfriend once said, people knowing you crossdress won't win you any extra favors, but on the other hand being known as a crossdresser can hurt you.

[SallyS]

If I had somewhere to go and meet other CD'ers I'd fly out the closet, given the chance :(

30 miles from me is London or in the other direction is Brighton (gay capital of the UK apparently?) . I know there are ton's of clubs to go to, but at 42 I don't really like loud pumping dance music (miserable ol' git that I am :) )

I'd be happy to meet up with a few like minded adults, in a private house, just for a drink and some 'girl' time. But even that isn't easy to arrange!

Having 4 kids at home makes it a no-no for me.

So yes I'm in the 'closet' so to speak, but I am desperately trying to unlock the door ;)

[Tina B.]

Locked away in the closet, and I have the only key, and I have no desire to use it. My wife has known I'm a Cross dresser for 35 years, I see no reason to share it with anyone else. At home I'm never overdressed, under dressed, or dressed inappropriately, after all I make all the rules. At 67 on a warm day I feel like a mini skirt, I wear one. Having a steak for dinner can bring out the Velvet skirt, silk blouse, and candles. or laying around watching TV in a pair of Capri's. I have no need to go out, did it when I was much younger, didn't like it then, don't figure I would like it now. That's why I told my wife, so I could dress at home, and not have to take it out.
Tina B.

[CallieH]

Amy, I'm in the closet too. I do not got out of the house dressed. That might change at some point but for now it's good enough.:)

Hi Amy

Thanks for starting this thread.. it is a very pertinent observation for a lot of us. Like Marleena already mentioned too, I am perfectly happy keeping it within the confines of my house. Of course, there is always the slight twinge of jealousy every time I see or read about the fun times gurls have when they go out, but the amount of effort, prep (mental mostly!) and possible ramifications negates that thrill, and I stay firmly ensconced at home! Maybe on holiday, somewhere far far away, I might step out.. but that hasn't happened yet.

Interestingly enough, I just read this article this morning, where researchers observed that transexual people who come out to their colleagues at work are happier and more productive!

http://www.futurity.org/society-culture/open-transsexuals-more-happy-at-work/

[Cheryl T]

Personally, I was in that little room for far too many years....
Just see my signature...

[TGMarla]

To each her own. Scarlet Rose said it very well near the top of this thread. As for me, I go out every once in a while, but it's not something I live for. I have a wonderful time when I do, but it's not so important to me that I feel that I absolutely have to in order to validate my existence as a crossdresser. There are a few militant transgender warriors out there who believe that we will never achieve acceptance from the population at large if we do not present ourselves to them in public, that the only way to gain such acceptance is by being out there and visible. I find that to be a somewhat flawed argument, especially when a great number of us don't even come close to passing. We all have our comfort level, and defined borders that we use to contain this little activity of ours. Sometimes we bend and break those boundaries. At other times, we are glad that they are there for us. The very bottom line is that many of us have shown time and time again that there is very little danger, and often a whole lot of fulfillment for us, in going out in public and enjoying ourselves. But it's not for everyone.

[drag n fly]

Thanks for this conversation, Amy..I find myself in a sort of middle ground on this..My wife knows my CD proclivity, and I do not push it on her..When I'm in slippers and night gown at night and in the mornings, she sees me..and does not approve..Accept, maybe, but approve..no. I wear women's clothing when I go out..But it is ambiguous, like the jeans I'm wearing right now from Woman Within, in size 1X...large, baggy and slightly fem....My shoes too...even my socks...and always panties...I'm sure many of my acquaintances have questions about my gender..but I am vague enough that those questions do not come to the fore...I seem to be drifting into a very, very gradual outing of myself....Interesting...I'll just have to wait and watch...smooches Jackie

[Chubby cd]

Not happy, just comfortable.

[sometimes_miss]

All I can say is, I've lived with being the outcast when I was a kid and it wasn't pleasant. And I see how much of society treats what they think of as 'freaks' like us behind our backs, and don't envy being treated like that either. So in the closet I'll stay.

[PetiteTonya]

I have never known the closet. My own particular experience was rather different than most. Having said that, being "out" isn't for everyone and as much as I am aware that there are some here who are wedded to the notion that being in public is a logical, natural part of the progression, my experience would tend,in some cases to suggest otherwise. Everyone is different and after all, your own needs, urges and reasons for expressing yourself and how you celebrate that expression are really a very personal decision.

[AllieSF]

Suzy1, the probable reason on this side of the pond this thread is going so well, and I am happy for that, is that all the overly opinionated posters who like to attack the closeted ones are on vacation for Thanksgiving. They might be back to night and then we will see what hits the fan.

I never was in the stay at home closet, but that is me and my personality and stage of life. I respect everyone that is in their own closet and hope that when they are ready, that they have successful outings. Otherwise, isn't it great to be us, wherever we are?

[fun4metoo2004]

Yes, I am very happy in the closet. I have no plans to come out. My Sister would understand, however I feel strongly that my Son would not.

[CassieV]

I thought I was until recently. My wife's known forever, but it's taken me awhile to figure out that this is not something that only belongs in the bedroom. It's a part of me, 100%, and I don't feel like denying it or really even hiding it anymore. I'm working on slowly adapting my public appearance to better reflect how I feel inside. But obviously I'll never think badly of those that keep things private.

[GBJoker]

I wouldn't say that I'm happy in the closet right now; more that I feel content. I think... (Old dictionary to the rescue!) Yes, content.

I would love to able though, to wake up one morning and just say, "Eh... Today I'm going to dress this way." And then go about my day as normal.

[erintemp]

I would say I'm mostly in the closet (to all famly, most friends). I have gone out a hand full of times redbox and atms, but the last two times, I've gone into stores where people were around.

[Barbara Ella]

Being new to my realization of who I am, I am in the closet, and will likely remain there. Although I must say that this thread has made me realize just how large the closet can be. Initially I thought it was limited to occasionally donning bits of femme attire to let myself out and/or underdressing, and until I get the SO on board, it might be that limiting. But I am seeing some beautiful women here with their makeup and outfits and shoes, all put together, but still in private. I will most likely stay private regardless of how far myself takes me, but who really knows.

I initially thought that at 6 ft my height and my age, 65, would hinder my femme presentation. Now I dont worry about it because I am seeing myself now for the first time, and I like what I see, and know that with the help of the girls here I will be able to get the most out of what I have and want to do.

At 6 ft I thought my height would be a challenge, but now after reading the posts here, I feel vertically challenged. Still that male insecurity thing popping up I guess...LOL

Babes

[msginaadoll]

Im in the closet and relatively happy. I am able to get out at times, and that is enuff for me. Some people can be judgemental but the thing I believe is my situation is not the same as your situation. We are all different.

[Vanessa Storrs]

My closet got so full of clothes there was no room for me so I was forced to venture out. I love closing the closet doorbbehind me as I go out to inflict my beauty upon the world. I am comfortable going out and enjoy pushing my boundaries. I have sympathy and empathy for our closeted sisters. I hope that we all are comfortable and happy with the amount we are in or out of the closet.

[joaniek]

In the closet, too. Not passable and not interested in trying - Not to say that if there was a clothing selection that is a bit more androgynous, I wouldn't be pleased. For now, I do the underdress thing w/ dancewear when I'm working out or cycling/running. All the best to the other closeted folks.

[Melody1985]

On a 1-10 scale where 10 is very happy to be IN the closet, I would say I am a 4. I want to maintain my closeted lifestyle in regards to most of my family and friends. But I sometimes want to go out in public at the same time. Now, being extremely tall, I am not that passable. But it would be nice, and may do it just for the heck of it. Good luck to all those who are trying to muster up the nerve to let it out, and much love to all those who are content with staying inside!

Peace & Love
.....Melody.....

[alinne_lima]

Actually I'm not completely happy in the closet, I like to dress in private beacause it´s safe, no one will recognize me, but I would love to feel the sensation of going out to a bar, to a club em feme, or go to the beach in bikini and get a nice tan!!

[kristinacd55]

Amy, I was exactly like you are and circumstances and my own wanting to come out changed things this year. I am thrilled for the change and wouldn't go back for anything.
However, that being said I believe that I could've stayed in the closet the rest of my life although knowing what I know now I wouldn't LOL :)

[retrofitme]

I'm 'in the closet' and perfectly happy there - though I would consider going out under very specific circumstances - say if my wife and I were on vacation in a CD friendly place and there's no one from my current life there (except my wife of course)... then I would consider going out en femme.

[charlytuna]

I made it out as far dressing in front of my wife and going out underdress I happy the way are for me now maybe someday I will venture out the door but for now I staying put behind closed doors

[Iris]

I'm happy in the closet for the moment and what the future will bring is still a question. My family would not understand it, nor my wife.

[GeminaRenee]

I can very much empathize with your desire to remain closeted. I once peeked my head out for a while, and was having fun. I only went out fully dressed once, but it wasn't uncommon for me to go to the bar on a random Wednesday night wearing flare-legged jeans with a guy shirt I liked, or throw on some cute accessories or lip gloss. Living hundreds of miles from most of my family made it easy to live the illusion of being totally carefree. But the thing that stopped it for me was when a friend of my ex approached her and asked her if she knew that I was a homosexual. Outwardly, it was laughable - since she and I were sharing panties & makeup & acting out after-prom scenarios in her old dresses - but I felt violated in a way. It made me much more reluctant to share too much about myself with others. Of course, it didn't help that we were living in a small town, either.

We've since split, and I've moved back to the city, where I remain closeted. I kind of have to, since I'm no longer passable without her. But I do think about the day when I will be, and will want to venture out again. I know that I'll want to. I'd love to ask a GG out at some point while en femme. But I want to be careful. I'm not really interested in having family or close friends find out. Sooo, in the closet I stay for the time. (:

Have fun dressing on your own time, girl!

[Dawn cd]

According to the way the question is posed, it's either closet or "out." I suggest there's also a third way of androgyny. I wear women's clothes, jewelry, scent and makeup in public without presenting myself as a woman. I guess the purists would say that I'm closeted, but the term doesn't adequately describe my look and practice. And, yes, I'm happy presenting as I do.

[alluts]

I am not out except for to my SO and I am perfectly fine with that. I guess I have two personalitys, male and gendernaught, or something... I like who I am and like playing another role sometimes, nothing wrong with that is there?

[danielletorresani]

I definitely prefer being in the closet. Besides not ever wanting my loved ones to know, I kinda like the fact that it's my dirty little secret...

[Tara D. Rose]

I used to love my closet. Although I am mostly still in the closet, the walls of my closet are not as solid as they once were. What worked for me in the past no longer works for me now. But I have nothing but respect for one's decision to remain in the closet, if that is what the individual chooses to do. I do not believe that each and every crossdresser has a desire to leave the closet. I further believe some simply have no desire or need to do so. It is as simple as that! Enjoy the blessed gift of crossdressing that has been bestowed upon you in the manner you deem fit . . . . :)

Right on Anne, right on. Let me say it one more time....right (freakin') on. It's about live and let live. What works for some may not work for others. None of us should ever critisize what works with us or me, and say to others, well hey, look at me, look what I'm doing, get out here like I'm doing. We should all on here respect eachother for what any other individual is comfortable with. If some want to stay in the closet, I applaude them, if some want to walk the mall, I applaude them, if some want to go out in groups, or sit on their front porch and wave to the neighbors, I applaude them. The phrase "live and let live" was coined in the 60's
It is so awsome in it's simplicity, live and let live, should be practiced by everyone. Always respect others. I've lived a long time, and remember so many things of the elders I knew told me when I was a child. That life is short, and the older you get, the faster time and life goes by. I have for so long now to have found that these words of wisdom to be oh so true. I do get puzzled and confused that we crossdressers cannot find a common ground, a ground without confusions. While hundreds of post's come and go, I personally would think, that by now, ,,we now understand eachother. I'm saying to all, we can find that common ground, if we just apply,,administer and ,,or,,,,practice,,, ,,Love and RESPECT. I do write in parables, I am oftentimes misunderstood here, as is with so many others,, for not only my typed words are so often misunderstood, I am not alone in that department. So, many of us are mis-understood. But how can any of us ever go wrong as long as we practice...on this site......Love & Respect?? What's good for the goose may not actually and or ,,,,,always good for the gander. Underdressing may be good and comfortable for some,,,,, but will not or may not or probably not do for another. A closet,, or the closet may be the best place for some, but a lonesome place for another. A TS, may, and,,, or will,,,, or have found her place of sanctity, after such a journey with many prices to pay,,,,,, and not just with funds and currency, but the loss of friends and family.
I oftentimes find myself to become more lonesome the more I read threads and post's here. I guess I need to close out here.
Always......love & Respect.....................................Tara

[Erica Marie]

Ive been in my closet for over 25 years. About a year ago I came out to my gf, who has been very supportive. She has offered me chances to dress, she has even offered me cloths. She accepts me for who I am, but is not ready to help me and be with me dressed yet. The real problem is getting out and being open about who I really am. Living in a small town poses many problems. I have been searching for a cd friend locally to share my lifestyle with but to no avail having a hard time. So till I can find that ever so needed friend, one that can help me perfect my look, I guess my closet is where I am stuck. UGH

[Cary]

I'm Happy to be in the closet. It's my secret and I want to keep it. That's part of the appeal. Unlike a lot members here, I couldn't pass. I have huge hands and arms with broad shoders. I'm a happy dude in a dress. Besides once that bell is rung, it's done.

[Jenny Green]

Yes, very happy in the closet. I don't understand why I have these desires, so why would I want to add that burden to my wife or anyone else? Why take the risk?

I guess you could say that my CD closet is plenty big enough for me. No need to come out of it.

Of course, I could definitely use some more clothes in it! :-)

[JoyceJ]

I feel sort of like KaliBrooke. I am fine dressing on my own, and enjoy it well, but there's just that idea of having crossdressing be something I can share with another person that really get me. I don't want family or work involved and I don't care about close friends knowing or not for the most part, but just having another person would make something that's already very special and sensual for me even moreso. But how to you find that person without making yourself so vulnerable :\?

[RachelF]

I am semi-closeted. Only out to my wife, which is more than enough. At this point I do not have the need to be out of my house or chare this part with anybody else.

Rachel

[ArleneRaquel]

If I were closeted I believe that I would loose my mind. Being out and active as " Arlene " has been heavenly.

[taís]

I am fine dressing on my own, and enjoy it well, but there's just that idea of having crossdressing be something I can share with another person that really get me. I don't want family or work involved and I don't care about close friends knowing or not for the most part, but just having another person would make something that's already very special and sensual for me even moreso. But how to you find that person without making yourself so vulnerable :\?

I was reading the thread, making the answer in my mind... then apparently sending it back in time to JoyceJ's hands while she typed that. that's exactly how I feel. thanks ;x

the closet is a cutie, he has been taking care of me over the last 12 years. but there was that one day (when was it?) where I looked at myself in the mirror and thought — hey, this is true. I wanna share this with someone.

but yeah, this is how's happening to me... and just one in many of the ways crossdressing develops on one's persona. I don't think any way is better than the way we're feeling about it. so keep gorgeous Amy! ^ ^

[KiwiHeather]

I'm Happy to be in the closet. It's my secret and I want to keep it. That's part of the appeal. Unlike a lot members here, I couldn't pass. I have huge hands and arms with broad shoders. I'm a happy dude in a dress. Besides once that bell is rung, it's done.

Same boat here. My wife knows, but doesnt want to know details or see me dressed. Thats fine with me because I do this for me not her or others. Funny thing is I think she checks up on what I have bought occassionally or checks I havent bought anything new (things move in drawers etc). She can work things through on her own terms and time frame. Its a hell of a thing to let someone know a secret that could potentially destroy your life should it be bandied around by an angry spouse/friend, because as you say "once the bell is rung..."

Some days I wish It was still my secret, but I know I couldnt keep it from my wife.

Heather

[fantasybabexoxo]

I am happy being in the closet right now but I hope to meet some other CDs in the future and possibly enjoy an evening out with the girls :)

[Justindresser]

I love being secret. it makes it more exiting

[DaniIfeelike a woman]

I have stepped out dressed and have been with some men who like me dressed up.
I am still in the closet but my wife has noticed my shaved legs. Maybe in a few years when the kids are gone from the house I may get more bold. My significant other has noteced my thinking on the subject and is kinda suspicious.

[Nelson]

I love my closet..... that's were I practice my voice using the clothing as baffles so I don't disturb the neighbour. It's just manners, he came in oneday when I was decked out and asked me if Mick was home ..... LOL. Comes over beer sometimes, love non-judgmental people.

[Stephanie47]

I'm perfectly content to be in the closet. At six foot even I do not pass and never will. I have gone out in public- at night. I did not interact with others and had no desire to do so. When I dress at home I really do forget I am dressed en femme. I find it very relaxing. When my wife was out of state for a week I did go out in the evening for a stroll. Except for the immediate 'rush' of having the cool wind swept breeze going up my dress, I really started to get bored. Basically, I did not find I was doing anything I would not have done en homme. I suspect if I went into a neighborhood store en femme I would have been stared at or worse. There is no sense in upsetting the tranquility and peace being en femme brings me by attracting attention. That being said, if I was five foot six and weight/height proportional, then I would probably enjoy being en femme in the world. But, I suspect I would not be doing anything different than as a male.

[Janine cd]

I have been a closeted crossdresser for more than 60 years. Although my spouse has known about my desire to dress for over 40 years, she has never accepted it and only tolerates it because I promised to never dress in her presence. This has never caused me to stop loving wearing the clothes, makeup and wigs in private.

[BRANDYJ]

I'm not in the closet, nor am I out of it as much as some of you. I am happy with the way things are. That is, I am open about my being a CD with a handful of close friends (all female) and of course to my SO, who is completely supportive and accepting. Frankly, she would not even want to see this side of me ever go away. She enjoys it to much. I don't have that driving need to go public. I am smart enough to know I would not pass. And knowing that keeps me from being laughed at, being humiliated or worse. Yes, I do care what others think. So when I go out dressed, I only go to places or events where we are completely accepted.

[RenneB]

Wow what a great thread girls. In the wayback days of being 4, I actually started in the closet. Putting my neighbor's dress on, she was 5 and at school. Within 5 minutes, I was called to the top of the stairs by her mom. I'll be just a minute, she said no so out of the closet I came. No reaction, just get your clothes back on and come on down okay, we need to go out.

Skip ahead to college and I'm dressing in my spare time off campus, but not amongst other humans. Just dress up sit in the house all alone and do my homework. Felt great.

Skip ahead to work and I'm dressing on the weekends and sneaking off to work, no one there, and catch up on some easy OT.

Now, some 4 decades after I need I was supposed to be a girl, I'm somewhat out and about. This closet is more like me being a butterfly junkie. With each new adventure out, the butterflies go away. So I try something else that brings them back....

I'm not sure this is making any scence but I'm out of the closet to the shopping world, but not to the SO or biological replacements....

So this closet has many doors and each one leads to a new adventure.. Some don't care to open the doors and that's fine with me... leave the butterflies to me..

Renne.....

[StephanieT]

Wish I had stayed in the closet. As of today my marriage is over because I came out.

[DMichele]

I consider myself a crossdresser, but I limit my feminine dressing (skirts, shoes) to the closet though. I keep my legs, underarms shaved year-round, trim arm hair over winter months, and wear clear nail polish 24/7. At my height (6'7") I have resolved myself that passing in public is very, very unlikely. However, I am also frequently out and about underdressed in women's jeans and tops; and have ventured out with makeup and lipstick on. The latter look is androgynous and I feel comfortable presenting in this manner (so far); and I am continually looking for ways to expand (e.g. pierced ears, cologne, accessories) on this look. However, I have no desire to reveal my cding to family, so I am careful how I dress around the them.

This board has helped me feel more comfortable with cding and has helped me gain the confidence to walk into Ulta for nail polish; to purchase stockings, panties, bras, makeup and my first pair of flats (online). And I am checking outs wigs and heels, which I will probably buy after the holidays.

Am I happy - YES, but there is room for increased happiness and contentment. Thanks girls for your sharing cause it has helped me better understand who I am.

[Allisa]

Hello Amy,I think that staying private and expressing one's feminine side is perfectly fine.I myself tried to go somewhat public by joining a group for transgendered people but found it to be to heavy,although it did clear up some questions I still feel more comfortable at home with some girlfriends of both genders.I to am very happy as my male self (my job and life are very macho).I"ve also found that sometimes my extent of going out" dressed" is merely a pair of panties,pantyhose, under my pants of course, a more feminine pair of earrings other than small studs and letting my hair(freak-flag)fly.I still wonder about what I am going to say (or not say) if I get in a situation where my under things would be exposed.I 've also found that staying clean shaven, legs,underarms and body help to keep that en-femm feeling with me all the time.