Rachel Mari
11-27-2011, 03:01 AM
I'll try to not make it too long.
A friend/coworker that I've known for about ten years, called me at work today and asked if I wanted to have lunch. I gave her an estimate of about when I would be free and asked where it would be easy for the both of us to meet.
We used to be on the same crew but about 8 years ago she moved to different town and to the crew in that town within the same company. We pretty rarely see each other but we've kept in touch as she's a friend of both me and my wife.
The last time we talked, she sensed that I wanted to tell her something, but I said no, not right now (not over the phone and there wasn't enough time). So it was not a total surprise that she called for lunch a couple of weeks later. I have been wanting to tell someone, to talk to someone, about this part of me that I don't want to remain hidden. I've been feeling this way more and more (especially after seeing my therapist for the last year and being a member of this forum) and I've been thinking of who, when and where.
We were having lunch and talking about things were going for each of us. I was fighting with myself as to whether or not I should tell her. I told myself that this would be a step towards my own acceptance.
I told her that there was something I wanted to tell her and that only my wife and therapist know what it is. She told me I could trust her (which I already did whole heartedly) and she would keep whatever it is private.
So.... I finally took the plunge and went ahead and told her that I was TG. I explained that I've had these feelings since I was 5 yo and I've always kept that part of me hidden (It wasn't always hidden. When I was very young, I learned quickly that people, especially other kids, didn't feel the same way I did and let me know in verbal and physical ways what they thought of it). I explained how I felt that I have never felt like a man, but I'm not a woman, but I'm both, with one side never expressed (except in a vacuum).
I have to say she took it very well and didn't seem that surprised about it (she said it was the earrings, lol). She did say that she has lots of questions (for another time) and that she wanted to give me a hug.
It felt so good to talk to someone. Someone who has been my friend and they're still my friend.
I've learned so much from all of you here. A year ago (before finding this forum) I would have never wanted to tell anyone and I would still feel I was defective and alone. I have a long road ahead of me but I know that the first step is the hardest and I'm starting to take steps.
A friend/coworker that I've known for about ten years, called me at work today and asked if I wanted to have lunch. I gave her an estimate of about when I would be free and asked where it would be easy for the both of us to meet.
We used to be on the same crew but about 8 years ago she moved to different town and to the crew in that town within the same company. We pretty rarely see each other but we've kept in touch as she's a friend of both me and my wife.
The last time we talked, she sensed that I wanted to tell her something, but I said no, not right now (not over the phone and there wasn't enough time). So it was not a total surprise that she called for lunch a couple of weeks later. I have been wanting to tell someone, to talk to someone, about this part of me that I don't want to remain hidden. I've been feeling this way more and more (especially after seeing my therapist for the last year and being a member of this forum) and I've been thinking of who, when and where.
We were having lunch and talking about things were going for each of us. I was fighting with myself as to whether or not I should tell her. I told myself that this would be a step towards my own acceptance.
I told her that there was something I wanted to tell her and that only my wife and therapist know what it is. She told me I could trust her (which I already did whole heartedly) and she would keep whatever it is private.
So.... I finally took the plunge and went ahead and told her that I was TG. I explained that I've had these feelings since I was 5 yo and I've always kept that part of me hidden (It wasn't always hidden. When I was very young, I learned quickly that people, especially other kids, didn't feel the same way I did and let me know in verbal and physical ways what they thought of it). I explained how I felt that I have never felt like a man, but I'm not a woman, but I'm both, with one side never expressed (except in a vacuum).
I have to say she took it very well and didn't seem that surprised about it (she said it was the earrings, lol). She did say that she has lots of questions (for another time) and that she wanted to give me a hug.
It felt so good to talk to someone. Someone who has been my friend and they're still my friend.
I've learned so much from all of you here. A year ago (before finding this forum) I would have never wanted to tell anyone and I would still feel I was defective and alone. I have a long road ahead of me but I know that the first step is the hardest and I'm starting to take steps.