Tall-ness

[GBJoker]

After surfing these forums for a month or so now, I've noticed a some what common complaint: Being "too" tall.

From my some what limited understanding of male vs female relationships, I was under the impression that men tended to prefer tall women (hence the prevelance of high heels). I also, maybe falsely, made the assumption this would translate well over to CD'ing, and other Trans aspects. I'm not saying that being a tall CD'er would get one more dates, but rather that being tall would aid in passing as a female. At the very least, one wouldn't need such... I guess the word is "big" high heels.

I dunno. To me the whole thing comes off as an excuse to not go out in public. Now, that's not a bad thing. A CD'er should go out in public whenever they want, and not be pressured into doing so. I'm just saying there's a bigger reason to not go out (say, just standard shyness), bigger than something that to me seems kinda trivial.

BUT!, maybe I just misunderstand the whole tallness thing. I'm 5 feet 6...ish.... I've not gotten a realiable measurement in a while. I've always resented being "short," despite that height actually being near average.

So, can any one clear up the whole issue for me?

EDIT: Keep in mind, use tall-ness VERSUS big shoulders, quads, back, or being hairy. Those I can understand. Most GGs tend not to look like a college wrestler or UFC fighter. Nor a grizzly bear.

[2B Natasha]

It has been proven. That the longest lasting relationships are ones where the male an average of 4" taller then
The female. That is the average and is not intended to say any relationship that is different is doomed to fail.

In the end. As long as one feels good and is happy. That will make the biggest difference. People like other happy people. Who wants to talk to let alone date a sour puss?

[Jolene]

As far as women go for me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. They all look good to me. Not sure if this clears anything up but some cd-ers just are able to present better in public than others.

[Jason+]

GBJoker,

For most girls passing or at the very least blending well is an absolute necessity whether to satisfy how they feel about themselves or simply for safety or personal comfort. Anything that moves away from the everyday average expected view of a woman threatens that.

You have a height closer to the height of an average woman. Putting 4" heels on you brings you to 5' 10" just like the average for a woman. Take a cross dresser who starts out at say 5' 11" and add the same 4" heels and you end up at 6' 3". Even if all the things mentioned in your edit have been managed the height will if not be a dead give away at least draw notice since it's off the average.

[marlaNYC]

being one of the "tall-ness" at 6'4"...and i'm not complaining or making any excuses...and what follows is, of course, imho... there is a certain awareness about your height in many circumstances whether in male or female mode - sitting upright at a movie or standing at a concert makes one aware that it's quite possible you're blocking someone's view. so there's a natural consciousness about ones presence and how it affects others.

now take that awareness and add a dress, then you can multiply that self-consciousness by a bunch. add heels and multiply by an nth power. many are very comfortable with their height dressed, but that comes with a comfort of being dressed in the first place.

[CassieV]

At 6'3", even wearing 2" heels looks ridiculous. And generally as a side effect to that, our foot size tends to be way above average, and most stores don't carry anything above an 11. And once you go above 11, a lot of manufacturers start catering more to the fetish crowd rather than turning out conservative low heals or flats.

Really what I'm getting at is that for us tall girls our limited footwear options only serve to make us look over the top.

[Stephanie47]

I'm six foot even. How do you separate tallness from the other attributes of a male, i.e., broad shoulders, angular facial features, etc? As a male I use to wear a 38 Tall suit and had a 32 inch waist. As a male I did attract women because of my height. As a six foot woman I'm sure I would and do attract attention because six foot females are still the exception, whether slender or full figured. Yes, it is the reason and not an excuse to venture out en femme.

I limit my outings to evening strolls, and, if it raining so I need an umbrella that's great. I can hide my male hair with long sleeves and hosiery. To some extent I can limit my height with flats or one inch heels. I can hide my lack of an hour glass figure with flowing dresses, empire waists, etc. I just cannot hide the entire package.

As a cross dresser I would love to be five foot six. As a man I love being six foot.

[docrobbysherry]

What thotful thread, GB! Maybe it's NOT really about being "tall", but "big", that intimidates CDs!

I saw a very slim GG the other day at a mall. I was walking behind her for a ways, and got a good look. She had on about 4" heels. And, stood nearly 7' tall in them! I felt like I did at UCLA walking next to Kareem Jabar! So, why would a 6' 4+" woman wear 4" heels?

Maybe, because she could? I wish we ALL could adopt THAT mantra!

[UNDERDRESSER]

The high heels thing is more about the shape it gives to the calves more than height ( I think )

This conversation reminds me of the evening i went to a performance by Circ De Solei. During the intermission, while walking around the concession stands, i was struck by how many tall women there were. I'm 6' 2" and I'll grant you many were wearing heels, but I was shocked by how many women I was looking in the eyes, or even up at! I mean just wherever I looked, there were half dozen seriously tall women in view.

P.S. They all without exception looked very attractive.

[Julie Hall]

I don't know if this will help the discussion, but here goes. My wife was 5'10'' and I am less than 5'4''. We were happily married for 28 years, I guess the exception instead of the rule. She remembered people in high school asking her if she played basketball, that always ticked her off. She always told me she didn't like being as tall as she was since she had difficulty in finding clothes that fit. Usually the sleeves or pant legs were too short for her taste. She always wore flat shoes, if heels very minimal.

I agree with Jason that it has something to do with the person's desire to blend in, not be noticed.

I'm very new to this and have never dressed completely femme before (yet). With heels on I'd probably would have been able to look her in the eyes without ending up with a sore neck. It is curious, those around us said I must be very comfortable with my masculinity to date a much taller woman - who'd have guessed where I'd end up.

[Eryn]

From my some what limited understanding of male vs female relationships, I was under the impression that men tended to prefer tall women

They prefer tall women, but not women who are taller than they are! :)

I'm 6'2" which is 95th percentile for males and 99th percentile for females. If my goal was striking beauty my height would be an advantage. Unfortunately, my face is more of the "why don't we try to blend in" variety so my height isn't very useful to me.

When out and about I try to dress appropriately. Few women of height wear killer heels except for those who are really trying to stand out. I feel more comfortable in flats and face it, they are a lot easier to walk in!

Now, when out with a group of 6'+ ladies I tend to give in to the urge to wear heels, just because I enjoy the experience. Some of them are of the 6'6" variety so I'm not the tallest even in 4" heels. A group like that is pretty obvious anyway, so why not go all the way? :)

[Juliana Hart]

At 6'4" myself, it's just who I am. Hell, I've been that tall for 40 years. I'm used to it now and it seems normal to me. As far as heels, I have a different way of looking at it. You have to have things in perspective and consider aspect ratios too. A 4" heel on a woman that's 5'4" tall is a lot of heel. It almost looks out of proportion. Put that same heel on a woman 6' tall and it almost disappears. To keep things in proportion, a 5" heel with a 1/2" platform is about right. At least to me it is. And when you talk about ratios, a 4" heel on a size 10 pump looks pretty big. A 4" heels on a size 15 is almost lost just from the sheer size of the shoe. For my stilettos, I have settled on 5" heels with a 1/2" platform. Not only are they proportionaly designed, they have that proper aspect ratio when worn.

[AllieSF]

Being 5-6 in real life and 5-7 on my drivers license, being tall (NOT) has been a fact of life with me. I have literally stood on my toes when taking a group photo at work, or with others who are always taller than me. So, as said by someone earlier, being short as a male can suck, though it really doesn't bother me that much except for the photos and the laughs I get when on my toes. Now, being a bit above average, I think, for a woman, I love it, especially when I can wear women's shoes from size 8 1/2 to 9 1/2. Life is good now.

[Rachel Flowers]

That's it, for CDs looking to pair up with a man, it's all relative. Richard Novic in "Alice in Genderland" talks about his struggle to find a suitable boyfriend because he was tall; he needed the feeling of being with a taller man, even taking the heels into account, to satisfy what he was looking for. I think for CDs who are already in a relationship it might be less of an issue.

[KellyJameson]

If you are trying to pass anything that takes you out of the expected average will draw attention and in turn scrutiny. I always notice tall women simply because it is uncommon compared to the norm. Being average looking is the best way to stay invisible but also the opposite of what many want which is to be as attractive as possible but in the female form.

Certain physical attributes such as large breasts, long legs in a short skirt and heels, long flowing thick hair, large eyes, ect.. draw attention. Everyone has specific tastes and certain things they react to but most people, men and women alike do react to what they see. Those reasons may be due to sexual attraction, to size up a competitor, aesthetic appreciation of beauty, ect.. but the reasons are universal and you can use them to your advantage. Being 5' 6" actually works to your advantage dressed en femme in my opinion.

[Roberta Roberts]

Re being tall..

I am 6' - 3" tall without heels and I consider myself a "full figured" person. When I dress I usually dress conservatively in earth tones or grays and blacks, simple jewely and shoulder length hair. My avatar shows me wearing flats, but I also like heels with 3" being the usual maximum. Because of my full-figure, the extra heel height usually goes unnoticed. I would love to try 4" heels with a platform but nothising is available in my size (size 15 mans) Because of my height, if i had smaller feet, I would probably fall over due to a lack of stability...and being an engineer, the over turning moment usually dictates the size of the foundation's surface area in relation to the height. I glad i'm tall...I just wish i could not be as full figured as I am...oh well one feature out of two is not bad.

Cheers,
Roberta R.

[Marleena]

I think tall GG's are hot to look at, longer legs. Not so good for dating, since I'm 5'9". My SO is 5'8" which used to be considered tall for a woman. The trend is that women are becoming taller at least from what I see.

At 5'6" you are lucky since most of us are taller. I tend to wear flats more, as heels would put me over 6 feet tall. I haven't been out the door yet so it's a moot point now anyways.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

being a tall woman will attract attention..

what you do with it is up to you..

[Melody1985]

I am 6'8" so I draw attention on a daily basis in male mode.. I am one of those you are referring to GB, as someone who (at this point) refuses to go out in public dressed up. Now, I am new to this as well, but I thought I would share my perspective;

Outside of 1 player in the WNBA, I have never seen a woman my height. I'm sure there are more. Maybe 100 out there who reach my height, and I bet those GG's have had people guessing their true gender. And I don't look the part as well as they do, and I am not a fan of inviting ridicule at this point. (I say that, realizing that all TG's have to face this at some point). But when I say my height is the ONLY reason I won't venture out, I mean that. If I was 5'6" I would definitely go out. Because I wouldn't have the guaranteed looks from people. Perception is a hell of a thing. The bottom-line is people perceive women to be in the 5 foot range, and when you go way over that like me, there is no way you won't consider that before mingling with the public.

At the end of the day, it's just the facts.. If you are a CD who is the height of the PERCEIVED woman, it will be easier to pass or simply not have anyone pay you any attention. But if you are a CD who is well-above the perceived height, you will attract attention, and it will be harder to pass due to the shock value associated with height.

It's just the opposite in male mode like you pointed out. Being tall is great as a man, and maybe not so great to be short. But since you are a TG, your height works in your favor. I'm not a jealous person so I don't envy you, I'm happy for anyone who has an edge in passing. Sorry if I came off too harsh. I didn't mean to.

[gabimartini]

Tall for a genetic male means several unwanted characteristics that are harder to disguise when trying to pass as a female: broader shoulders, big feet, big hands, which in turn make it more difficult to buy clothes that would fit a GG of the same height. Get it? My two cents anyway.

[Aprilrain]

I'm 6', im actually surprised at how little attention I attract. I'm lucky that my shoulders are not broad and what little muscle I had has been greatly diminished by 9 months of hormones. I rarely wear heals, A. They suck! And, B I'm tall enough why would I want to make my self taller? Some times I let my height get to me but usually it not an issue, if anything being a size 12 shoe is worse than being 6'. I'm dating a guy who is 6' 3", I could not date a man who was shorter than me. I see attractive guys who are my height and I think "I'm too big for him." when I was on line dating I had a guy tell me he was a tall 5' 7", I have to admit I felt sorry for him. Luckily for him most GGs are shorter than that.

[FionaO]

I'm 5'6" so am considerd short. As a CD I love it because I draw less attention when I wish to pass. However I have relatively short legs which makes me look less feminine. Womens legs are on a average a greater percentage of their height as are that of that of taller people. Hence tall CDers look more feminie in photographs as they have closer to female proportions. High heels make your legs longer and push out your butt and breasts and hence make you look more feminine and attractive.
Fiona

[ReineD]

So, can any one clear up the whole issue for me?

I think the people who complain about being tall are over 6', if they love to wear 4-5" sexy stilettos and feel they can't. Wearing the shoes would put them way over the average tall woman's height and may cause people to stare more which might result in being read.

I love being tall for a woman at 5' 9", and when I've worn 5" heels (bringing me to 6' 2") I feel as if I tower over most people, including the average male. I feel more comfortable with 3" heels. When I wear them I'm still taller than many men and certainly taller than most women, but that's OK. :)

At 5' 6", I think you can wear any heel height you want.

[GBJoker]

But since you are a TG...

I don't know what I am, really.

But to stay on topic. After doing some meditation on the subject at hand, I realized I was demanding from myself what I find attractive in a GG. And I'm not in the slightest bit attracted to GGs my height or taller. And that led to me falsely making the assumption that all hetero/bi males think the same. Clearly false. Also false is that all hetero/bi males think the opposite. Truth: Whole spectrum, obviously. Also, this desire to basically become what I'm attracted to bleeds over into hair, skin, etc.

Also, relating to a few of the posts here; I truly do hate being 5 feet 6, and a guy. I am not only shorter than so many people, but I actually FEEL shorter than virtually every one. To me personally, this would be okay if I not only had the courage to dress out in public, but then actually do it on a semi-regular basis. But, so far, being 100% guy out and about, it really bugs me. I truly feel the only good about me being short in guy mode, is that if some butthead wants to pick a fight, I can grab his legs pretty easily.

And finally; Thanks for responses. Pretty much cleared up the whole thing for me.

[Melody1985]

I don't know what I am, really.

But to stay on topic. After doing some meditation on the subject at hand, I realized I was demanding from myself what I find attractive in a GG. And I'm not in the slightest bit attracted to GGs my height or taller. And that led to me falsely making the assumption that all hetero/bi males think the same. Clearly false. Also false is that all hetero/bi males think the opposite. Truth: Whole spectrum, obviously. Also, this desire to basically become what I'm attracted to bleeds over into hair, skin, etc.

Also, relating to a few of the posts here; I truly do hate being 5 feet 6, and a guy. I am not only shorter than so many people, but I actually FEEL shorter than virtually every one. To me personally, this would be okay if I not only had the courage to dress out in public, but then actually do it on a semi-regular basis. But, so far, being 100% guy out and about, it really bugs me. I truly feel the only good about me being short in guy mode, is that if some butthead wants to pick a fight, I can grab his legs pretty easily.

And finally; Thanks for responses. Pretty much cleared up the whole thing for me.

I used TG with the understanding that transgender covers the entire spectrum of trans lifestyles including crossdressing all the way to transsexuals. If I'm wrong, and TG does not cover it all, then someone please inform me. Because I have always thought that.

[GBJoker]

I used TG with the understanding that transgender covers the entire spectrum of trans lifestyles including crossdressing all the way to transsexuals. If I'm wrong, and TG does not cover it all, then someone please inform me. Because I have always thought that.

I believe on this site it tends to hit the whole spectrum. I'm just still kinda used to having more specific definitions...

[CindySTJ]

I got some advice once from a GG that said you are 6'4 anyway. Heels or flats are not going to change that. Wear what you love to wear! Most GG's would love to have legs like mine anyway so I love showing them off.
Now if I just could spell Difference, LOL

[*Vanessa*]

At 5'-6" I'll keep my height thank-you :)

[Marleena]

At 5'-6" I'll keep my height thank-you :)

I"ll trade you Vanessa.:)

[Jynx]

In my opinion, girls wear high heels because of the sound that it makes when you walk, to catch people attention, it is not because of the merely 3-4 extra inches that they get from it. And, high heel just give a magical expression that you can't describe, it's like woman with S body curve looks better than a woman with straight body outline, similarly the slope of a pair of high heel, the pointy toe, the stiletto heel gives woman a better look.

I don't see any reason why a 6 feet tall woman would need to wear high heel, but they still do, it's the matter of showing off.

[tall sam]

Depends what you refer to as tall - its very subjective. It also depends on what you as a CD are trying to acheive. Are you wanting to blend in and have the feeling of being a "normal" lady or do you want to be noticed and stand out from the crowd??

On average, men are generally taller than women. A tall good looking woman tends to stand out and is noticed and "oooood!".
A tall man gets similar notice especially if he is good looking - same as the woman.
But once you start getting above that normal "tall" height, then you start being looked at as odd. For woman I would guess this is about 6'2" and men 6'6". But this does depend on what country you in.
I am 6'6" and there would me many occasions when I would see people staring or when I walk past turn and look. I would on numerous occasions be asked how tall I am. I am so used to this that I simply just enjoy the attention and have a laugh!
OK - so now when dressed fem. I can look pretty good and dress to impress, but would wear flats, never high heals.
I have been out at night to a few CD night clubs and as they are so liberal, nobody really cares, but then again the men there would definately not be interrested and I assume I look freekish as I am just too tall!
So, when leaving the "security" of the club and going out into the public, ther would not be a single person who I pass who does not turn their head! So, I am definately not fitting in and going unnoticed!
I would like to but there is no chance -- this is the dilemma of the TALL crossdresser!!

Sammy

[kimdl93]

I certainly don't think that being tall helps a CDr pass normakes them inherently more attractive. I've always been a bit jealous of those among us who are under 6'. But, I don't let my height (6'2") discourage me. I know that my height is above average for women, but from time to time do see women who are at least my height. And I don't let it keep me fromwearing heels if I'm in the mood (seldom >3" heels). And, as Gabi pointed out, there are other attributes besides height that can be far more telling...particularly shoulders, arms and hands. I try to compensate by chosing garments that minimize these features to some extent.

[*Vanessa*]

I"ll trade you Vanessa.:)

nope... cause I like hugs from big girls :daydreaming:

[Jessica86]

I don't know, but I am the tallest of anyone I know. I'm 6'06". I'm 190 though, so I am a slim build. Wearing three inch heels...ok...that puts me at 6'09". Ouch. I haven't thought about it that way, but who cares. Lets just wear what we want. If people want to stare, let them! In my eyes, it's like this site. If someone says "I saw you on there," then why not just turn the table and say "Really? Why were you looking at a site called "crossdressers.com"? Explain that one." I'd say they might be able to read you easier due to more attention for being that tall in heels, but hey, a harder question to answer would be "Why are you paying that much attention if you aren't interested in what you see?"

[CassieV]

Gosh, reading all of this is making me question my previous opinion! I hope I'll have that much confidence someday.

[Marleena]

You have to work with what you have. Some have an easier time than others. Some remove all obstacles in their way.:)