The 2nd or 3rd worst thing in the world...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I thought this was interesting..

i had lunch with a guy last week, and he is trying to help me find a job...
he's known me for 20 years, and we have deep respect for each other..

about half way through , he told me how courageous he thought i was...he had done some research before meeting me ( i had not seen him since i transitioned), and he felt he wanted to try to help me in some way...

he paused and struggled for words before he said
".....i mean it must be the 2nd or 3rd worst thing to happen to a person in the world".... although i won't say this is true, sometimes it feels that way...

[Katesback]

I would not wish anyone to be transsexual. It is a very difficult path for most and without a doubt one of the hardest things a person can undertake. It takes resolve and an almost unyielding drive to succeed. It takes an understanding you might never fit into society. It means you might never be in a positive relationship. It means you might face some of the worst rejection one could imagine. It also means that if you have a chance to find inner peace.

[Inna]

Yes I totally sympathize with such perspectives, however! On the other hand, when I think of the road I had so far traveled, I have come to embrace love I had no idea existed, love so immense and powerful and devotion so true it shown me that beautiful people do exist and life can in fact have all the shades of beauty.
As well I often heard people say "I wish I could start over again but I would not want to erase m memories but keep on learning as I go forward". It is truly a dream we are living, being able to literally, start all over a new life except we keep the memories and wisdom so far acquired.

Pain we have all experienced made us that much more appreciative of things perhaps others take for granted.

Our path is one of the hardest to walk, but inevitably it leads to the truth and I do see such a similarities not only amongst transgender but all the people, where they them selves live lives full fo lies, deceit and regret not knowing who they really are.

We are the champions of truth, pressing on despite danger of pain and rejection all because we had enough of deceit and guilt, enough of enormous pressure of societal bind which make us all slaves and squeezes our souls to extract last of the essence of self!

[PaulaAnn]

Katesback ;Well you are so on the money with that observation.I'm presently facing the biggest challange to my life yet....my divorce,loss of a lot of material possesions ,loss of some family and friends who I care for deeply ....but I know what I have to do ,must do, for my peace of mind. I have to be true to myself first........but by god's eyes ,it's a tough fight.That's why I'm here......the help and understanding here is unbelievable.
Paula.

[CharleneT]

I don't know about 2nd or 3rd worst, but I will say that I would not wish it on my ex's divorce attorney . . . .

[Zenith]

As Dr. Nangia told me (the urologist I used to work with when I had...you know...a future...but I digress), "We all have our dragons to slay, but you my friend have a very large one..."

[Starling]

I'd say second worst--after one's own death, but before the death of a loved one. In retrospect, every single relationship in my life has been stunted by my transsexuality; kept me under glass, short-circuited my emotions. Sometimes I feel like a total clown. It's the loneliest thing in the world. The closer I get to HRT, and transition, the more lonely and afraid I become. At this particular moment, I am close to despair in the face of the pain I am sure is coming. I desperately seek out allies among my friends, with nothing to offer them but my need, and my prospective gratitude.

I know I'm not telling anybody here anything new, but it's a release to say it.

:) Lallie

[arbon]

Well, at least I'm not a Republican

[kimdl93]

I don't know about "worst", but redefining yourself in such a fundemental way has to be among the most daunting challenges one can face. Of course, it would indeed be worse to be stuck in a gender identity that remained totally in conflict with your inner self.

[ReineD]

Did you ask him what he thought the worst and possibly next worse thing might be?

I can just imagine it from his perspective though. Never have I seen my sons cringe so much as when faced with the thought of getting it chopped off. I'd say for most males, it is the prime source of their identity. So yeah ... they just don't get it.


I hope he can help you find a job, Kaitlyn. :hugs:

[Pamela Kay]

Well, at least I'm not a Republican

Hey, I resemble that remark.

Just kidding, but this is one Republican who has had to do some serious re-evaluation of my life.
I'm conservative but not an uncaring, insensitive jerk, at least I don't think so. I can think of things that to me would be worse but it depends on the person and their perspective, what may be the second or third worst thing that could happen may have been one of the second or third best things that could happen for someone else. Even if it is one of the hardest things they have ever had to face.

[arbon]

Hey, I resemble that remark.

.

Sorry!! :hugs:

On topic - sometimes it does not seem like such a big deal and I feel casual, accepting and confident about myself. At other times though, I hate it, I hate myself, I want off this ride. I want out of this life.

Other peoples perspectives on it are all across the board. I do believe my mom would have an easier time coping if I was dying of cancer then she does seeing me in makeup, growing breasts and wanting to change my name.

But on the other hand I go to a women's group every week. I go even though most of the women there knew me as a man, and know that I am still working as male and often still see me presenting as male around town during work hours. I'm not even full time yet. I've been going since last spring. The only issue that is ever made about it is when I don't show up. To most of them, it seems, my being trans is a non issue.

Sometimes it is really hard to judge. I'm still working it out.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I have been very lucky, my transition was the best thing I ever did and it was positive since day one. I never lived in conflict and always knew i was female. I look very female all my life and was wearing girl clothes even as a small child up to and including high school and beyond.

The number 1 and 2, and 3 worse things in my life would have been NOT to transition.

We don't all have ruff and bumpy journeys with a lot of accidents, destruction, and set-backs along the way. I know there are more like me and I am sure there are some on here too.

[Badtranny]

We don't all have ruff and bumpy journeys with a lot of accidents, destruction, and set-backs along the way. I know there are more like me and I am sure there are some on here too.

I have to admit that my gender struggles would have been a WHOLE lot easier if I would have found the courage in my youth to face it head on. Pretty much all of the problems I've had in my life, failed marriages, bad attitude, self destructive behavior, etc. were the direct result of me running from the truth. Since I came out to myself and subsequently to everyone else my life literally gets better everyday. For me, it was all about courage, and the truth really did set me free.

I recognize how lucky I am to have so few barriers unlike my sisters who are married with children, or with intrusive extended families. And when people tell me I'm brave, I just tell them it ain't brave to save your own ass. There are people out there who have a lot more then themselves to worry about. Now THAT'S bravery.

[Starling]

I have to admit that my gender struggles would have been a WHOLE lot easier if I would have found the courage in my youth to face it head on...

Have you seen the 2007 documentary film, Red Without Blue? It centers on a pair of identical twin boys, one of whom transitions around the age of twenty. It's very moving. Here's a link to an excerpt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzO11m6WBPQ


:) Lallie

[Kelsy]

I have come to this conclusion that the second worse thing for me is losing my children the third may be my own life but number one would
be ,and I agree with Tracy on this, not being able to transition. I want to live and transition is the only way.

[Jorja]

There are many things in this world much worse than being transsexual. Suddenly becoming a quadriplegic or having a disease like MS or Alzheimer's etc... where you have to depend completely on someone else for your care ranks right up there for me. Being a transsexual I have only had to deal with horrific insults and bigotry and loss of friends and family. I have had to deal with the intense need to change my body to what I feel it should be. IMHO, being a transsexual is something I would not wish upon anyone, friend or foe but there are much worse things in life.

[Badtranny]

Have you seen the 2007 documentary film, Red Without Blue? It centers on a pair of identical twin boys, one of whom transitions around the age of twenty. It's very moving.

Seen it. It's wonderful. Claire also adopted the incredible SF Bay Area is very active today in the Trans Community. We have a couple of mutual friends but I have not had the opportunity to meet her yet. Her story is very inspiring on so many levels.

[Aprilrain]

No doubt transition can suck. I have SOOOO much going for me and still it sucks to be me sometimes, that is why god invented crying. I cry get it over with and move on. I can think of way worse conditions to have than transsexualism. Jorga named a few. I don't wish ill on anyone so I wouldn't wish this or anything else on another. I have thought, what if one of my children was TS, I would much prefer that for them than the alcoholism that is far more likely to affect at least one of them. I'm an alcoholic my wife's father is an alcoholic my stepsons dad is probably an alcoholic and his dad is definitely an alcoholic. AH, the curse of the Irish! I would love and support any of my children through a gender change (as my conservative catholic parents are now doing with me) but with an alcoholic or drug addicted child one must shut doors cut off funding allow to sit in jail and face the consequences of their actions there is no other way to help them. The sooner they hit bottom the better off they are but meanwhile you sit and wait and hope they don't kill themselves or someone else in the process. It affects the whole family.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

yep.. i dont' think its true ..but sometimes it feels that way..

that being said..
if i had a choice of being raised in my correct gender but alcoholic vs being ts...i would choose being alcoholic... oh wait... i tried that already..turns out abusing alcohol doesnt guard against transsexuality

[Frances]

Turns out abusing alcohol doesnt guard against transsexuality

Neither does spending an inheritence on useless stuff... believe me.

[Aprilrain]

i would choose being alcoholic... oh wait... i tried that already..turns out abusing alcohol doesnt guard against transsexuality

abusing alcohol and being and alcoholic are to different things. But your right neither condition "cures" transsexuality.

[melissaK]

Well I am not into ranking who's got it worse than who. Though I recall being amusemed by an old Bill Cosby comedy routine about The Last Man who had it worse than everone else. I was raised on parables, some Biblical, and I always love the story of Job - now HE had it bad when God let the Devil mess with him.

Mind you I knew I had gender issues by 3rd grade and society gender roles have messed with me ever since, I resisted admitting I am transgendered, then resisted doing anything about it, so I put myself in some dark dark places. And I still fight to be able to present as my birth gender to keep a job and relationships in tact, and it's really really hard. And on my bad days I've done my share of whining on these very boards, and my share of crying about it all in counseling, and alone. But 2nd or 3rd worst thing ever? I gotta say HELL NO. I'll keep playing the hand I've been dealt, because I'm pretty sure there are way way more than just one or two worse hands out there. Besides, how's that expression go, you're better off with the devil you know than the devil you don't. I don't want to meet Job's devil. :-)

Hugs,
'lissa

[Kaitlyn Michele]

..............true..my bad..