Items you wish you had not gotten rid of

[Linzy]

So, in my short experience as a closeted crossdresser, I have purged out my "collection" many times. This was always due to the guilt I felt, as well as the fear of my items being found by my parents as I did, and still live at home. From my readings, I have found that many others have also gone through purges.

So my question is simple - What items have you gotten rid of, that you would do almost anything to get back?

My Answer:

To make my answer a little more understandable, and I know many here will not like this, but I will be honest - crossdressing has always been more of a fetish than a life style choice for me. As such, if an item was previously owned by a GG, especially one I knew - it really made the experience so much more exciting.

So there are three items that I truly wish I was able to get back, each has their own story with the same general plot.

During high school I worked in the IT department after school, over winter break, and in the summer. Being a new school, the keys were standardized, so my boss had a key that would get you access to every room in the entire school. Being a teenager with raging hormones and a crossdressing fetish, this was a bad combo.

Now, I was always paranoid of getting caught - as there were a lot of custodians, and cameras throughout the building, but I hit the jackpot one day. It was a few days before Christmas - all the students were on break, and the custodians took an early day off. I had already finished my tasks for that day, and my boss had left his key. This meant that there were literally only two people in the entire school. I knew this was my only chance.

My first stop was the girls locker room. After looking around, I discovered more than a few lockers had been left unlocked. The majority of them had nothing impressive, just some plain sneakers, or a really bad smelling t-shirt. But a few, had what I was looking for - panties! I was only able to find one that would actually fit me based on the sizes, so I pocketed it. It had the most amazing smell from the previous owner. To my slight disappointment, that was the only item I found that would fit me - but the experience was still incredible.

The next stop was the sporting closet. This was a large closet (as big as our IT office) that stored all the sporting equipment, but I had also scene that was where the cheerleaders coach stored the extra uniforms. After some digging, I was able to find the box of uniforms, and after some more looking - I found the size I wanted. I was kind of surprised by how stiff the uniforms were, not exactly what I was expecting (further proving how fake porn is). However, the thrill of having a cheerleading uniform from my own school from a girl made the risk feel completely worth it.

After school had started back up, I noticed that a girl I had always liked was on the dance team. They would always practice after school, which meant they had to bring their cloths with them and keep them in their locker. Now, at our school - some of the girls who did not like to waste time unlocking their locker, would jam a hair pin in the mechanism preventing it from locking. So on my rounds during work, I would randomly check lockers to see if they would open. To my surprise, one day I tried and one opened. After I looked, I realized it was the locker of the girl I liked, and her dance stuff was there (she had gone home early for some reason). As I did not want to make it to obvious someone had been through her stuff - I decided I could only take one item. I decided to take her panties (in my mind, I thought that could be something easily forgotten - although unlikely, pink fog anyone?).

At any rate, later that year I purged all my items. When I started again - It was after my sister had moved out, and my high school days were over - so my access to girls clothing was gone. I would do almost anything to get those things back, guess I just need a girlfriend now to "barrow" from :)

So, after reading all that, I will ask again - What items have you gotten rid of, that you would do almost anything to get back?

[Marleena]

Cool story, the things we go through to get clothes..lol. I've done the purge thing a few times since I'm older. Lost lots of lingerie mostly. Just this year I threw out a great chamber maid costume, petticoat and ruffled panties as well as a vinyl miniskirt, pantyhose etc. It was by mistake though, I had them in a green garbage bag and threw them out with the garbage. I was like, Duuhh!

[smeat]

I had a very large collection of panties and lingerie, I had slowly amassed them, sneaking them into the cart at the department store. I'd keep them stashed, and bring them out once in awhile. One day I decided that they needed to go, as if I could just throw away the "weird" urges, and tossed them all.

I don't necessarily miss the actual underwear, but feel like I tried to throw a part of myself away out of shame. I don't intend to do that ever again. :(

[Karren H]

I wish I hadn't left my favorite leather outfit, pink skirt suit, and lbd over at a local cd friends house whom I used to dress with from time to time.... Was right before my wife found out and thing got hectics. Lost contact with her... Then she moved... and never saw my beautiful clothes again! Ohh well. I still have the photos of me in them... Sigh...

I only donate clothes I no longer wear,... And haven't thrown anything away that wasn't trash. Or trashy.. Lol.

[Cheryl T]

Ooo I wish I still had the chocolate brown cowl neck dress that I was wearing in the picture my wife found that outed me. I adored that dress....and now she wishes I had it too....lol.

[docrobbysherry]

"Items I wish I hadn't gotten rid of?"

Nothing! In my 60+ years, I've kept everything of importance I've ever had! (It helps to still live in the town u grew up in and have 7 storage garages!)

[Cynthia Anne]

I would love to have my ruby earrings back! They've been missing for 30+ years! I think my ex sister inlaw took them!

[GeminaRenee]

Everything in my last major purge: early 2008. From 2003-2007, I was in a relationship with a supportive GG of a similar size who not only helped me shop, but gave me some of her own clothes. In January of 2008, I started dating a beautiful and relatively vanilla girl. In preparation for her first night over, I decided I was done with this shit, and tossed everything in the dumpster. Big mistake. The girl is long gone, but The Urge remains. Among the coveted items lost forever:

-A pair of white Abercrombie sweatpants with "Snow Bum" in baby blue across the ass. I loved them, especially in concert with...
-A pair of fluffy red platform slippers (likely from Frederick's of Hollywood), given to me by my ex. I loved to wear these w/ nylons, the above sweatpants, and...
-A generic white front-zip sweatshirt from a store I don't recall.
-A brown miniskirt from DEB, with laces up most of the sides
-A pair of brown stretch pants, probably from Deb, very stylish in the early 00's.
-Around six pairs of decent jeans, all flare legged (I used to wear them out with boy clothes back in the day), formerly belonging to the ex, then fitting me as she & I both lost weight. Sad, they were hot. That's probably $400 worth of jeans that I could still have!
-A lavender babydoll from VS that I loved much. It was the nicest piece of lingerie I've ever owned, and the memory of buying it was extra special, as I tried it on at VS, with both the SA and my SO complimenting me on it as I emerged from the dressing room to model...
-Finally, an entire bag of makeup. Even if I wasn't competent with it myself, still, it was a giant waste!!!

Those are the major ones. I lost a lot more at that time. How sad. I threw it all to date a girl named Mallory. I remember, when I first met Mal, I looked up her name, and it meant "bad luck." Now, I understand why!

Ooooh! And, I had a great pair of giant hot pink star-shaped earrings that I loved quite a bit, got 'em from Claire's!. Those are gone forever too, I'm sure...

[girlygirl152]

Definetly have to agree with the chearleading outfitt! I wish i still had mine and the pom poms with it. A girl I new was on the chear squad and she gave it to me when graduation came. she even taught me some of the routine.... I feel dumb for get rid of that. wish i could stil put it on and do a few cheers

[Blue42]

I similarly have lost a few things from purging over the years.

I'm in a similar boat to the original poster as far as a lot of my origins go and in high school a few times I checked out the lost and found when nobody was around. I had this one dress that just felt amazing, it was I guess for dancing but it was just so soft and I arrogantly threw it out one day when I got mad at myself. I also had up with a pair of leggings and girls sweat pants which I all threw out also.

Now I have to mention I went to a school with uniforms so the girls had to wear navy tights or knee highs. I still have one pair of those tights but it is more of a sheer navy. I had another pair though that was opaque and I was so excited to have a pair of. One night I had been wearing them and forgot to put them away properly, so the next morning I woke up to my mom holding them and subsequently throwing them out. I was half-asleep so I wasn't able to be quick enough to think of something, I did later that night come up with a good cover but it was too late to get them back.

The other items I miss weren't thrown out on purpose. One year in college I was moving out of my room and I ran out of boxes so i started loading stuff into garbage bags. I had a bag full of my actual male shoes along with two pairs of white pantyhose I had girls buy for me and a red/black plaid mini-skirt I ended up with for a 'what the **** are you wearing' party. Needless to say, that trash bag got mixed up with actual trash bags. Wish I could get all those things back!

[BillieJoEllen]

Before I left for the service (many, many years ago) I purged all my stuff. There was a large number of items I wish I could have back. I went three very long years without dressing. When I got out I almost immediately went clothes shopping. I was very nervous and scared at the time. I bought at least one of everything. To my horror when I went to put my pink skirt on I found out it was really a cullotte! While I was shopping for it I didn't want to raise any eyebrows so when I saw the size I quickly threw it in my shopping cart without really taking a good look at it. Thats the one item I miss the least.

[ReineD]

Linzy, I understand you're new and all. Welcome. :)

I know that many of our members do this for fetish.

But I don't respect the fact that you stole. I can understand this from a pre-pubescent child, but if you worked in the IT department, you had a paycheck? And panties at Walmart aren't that expensive? What on earth made you believe it was OK to steal, let alone stealing something so personal. Had I been the girl and had found out you took them, I would have avoided you all through high school. I would have been creeped out.

Also, I know of NO GGs who keep panties in their lockers. None. Sneakers, books, makeup, and maybe an old sweater? Yes. Panties and bras? No.

Edit - Question: Why was your access to girls clothes gone after your sister moved out and after high school? Can't you order things online or shop in stores?

[Babeba]

Yeah. Stealing is super not good, it IS a crime. Maybe I was sensitive during high school, but if for whatever reason some of my stuff was missing (especially super personal stuff like underwear, but i agree with Reine that never ended up in my locker) I would have had an absolute fit and the school cop would have known about it.

Also - as disgusting as I find the inference that you really are after freshly used underwear (your sister's? Really? There are documented biological processes which usually stop people from finding their close relatives' or childhood housemates' smell sexy, so this just reeks of clinical issues/ incest urges and I think you may need some professional help) I have heard there are women willing to sell theirs on the Internet. Also, in an episode of CSI there was a storyline based around a panty sniffing trade show. If it is mainstream enough to be on CSI you can readily find it on the Internet. Just probably not your sister's.

[liz.thomas]

The only items I can recal purging were a could pair of 5" fredericks of Hollywood heels which were completely replaceable. The one item I wish I still had was a pair of Voctorias Secret Seamless Sensations pantyhose. Wish I had kept them as they are not made anymore and finding a new pair is almost impossible...

Liz

[il.dso]

I had several pretty, floral, polyester, church lady dresses from the 80s that I purged years ago.
Wish I had them all back!
They were so comfortable and totally enjoyable to wear.

[tiffanyjo89]

This black dress that was SUPER cute (yet super basic).

This pink camo thong that I "lifted" from my sister.

And these blue tights...along with a pair of jean shorts and a cute purple tank top.

[elizabethamy]

I haven't been dressing for very long (less than 2 years) but have had 2 purges and just stopped myself from a third. On a limited (more or less zero) budget, I buy all my clothes from thrift stores or clearance racks and so when I purge, losing good stuff is hard to replace. Right now I'm wearing a gorgeous dress that must have cost a couple hundred dollars originally but that I got for $5. But what did I purge? The 99 cent breast forms which I got before I realized (a) how expensive they really are and (b) how hard to find in casual thrift store shopping and (c) how I need them to make the "look" right. Sigh. They are also hard to request as a Christmas present...

[Alice Torn]

I wish i had not thrown out a little black dres, and two short blond wigs. I tend to be a hoarder, though, and need to get rid of many odds and ends!

[ArleneRaquel]

I wish that I hadn't thrown away so much fantastic lingerie and some great wigs. :sad:

[kimdl93]

I have more things I wish I had NEVER bought, than things I have reluctantly discarded. It seems as I've developed more of a sense of what works for me, some of those earlier choices were....ewwwwww.

[suit]

no one has mentioned their pre pubescent size, and flexibility!
corsets work way better on thin flexable ribs ! and all the padding would be easier too!

[Angie G]

I've hade to purge one of two times. One thing I wish I had back is a green skirt and maching vest. That was before my wife know.:hugs:
Angie

[Linzy]

But I don't respect the fact that you stole. I can understand this from a pre-pubescent child, but if you worked in the IT department, you had a paycheck? And panties at Walmart aren't that expensive? What on earth made you believe it was OK to steal, let alone stealing something so personal. Had I been the girl and had found out you took them, I would have avoided you all through high school. I would have been creeped out.

Well, as a a 15 year old high school student without a car and without a credit card or any cash (my mom managed all my money in bank accounts), I had no real way to actually purchase my own clothing. Plus this was extremely early on, so I was completely and utterly terrified of shopping for clothing.

I will admit, it was wrong of me, but at the time - it felt like the only way.


Also, I know of NO GGs who keep panties in their lockers. None. Sneakers, books, makeup, and maybe an old sweater? Yes. Panties and bras? No.

You should have scene my surprise! I was just expecting some gym shorts or something.



Edit - Question: Why was your access to girls clothes gone after your sister moved out and after high school? Can't you order things online or shop in stores?

I was referring to being able to try on my sisters clothes (who being 9 years older than me fit perfect at the time).



Also - as disgusting as I find the inference that you really are after freshly used underwear (your sister's? Really? There are documented biological processes which usually stop people from finding their close relatives' or childhood housemates' smell sexy, so this just reeks of clinical issues/ incest urges and I think you may need some professional help) I have heard there are women willing to sell theirs on the Internet. Also, in an episode of CSI there was a storyline based around a panty sniffing trade show. If it is mainstream enough to be on CSI you can readily find it on the Internet. Just probably not your sister's.

I NEVER said I enjoyed smelling my sisters panties. That is really disgusting, but as a 100% hetero male, I enjoy the smell of women's (non-relatives) panties.

[JoyceJ]

Wow Linzy and girlygirl you two are so lucky to have gotten your hands on real-life cheer outfits in high school! Hindsight is 20-20, but at that time it must have been a huge rush!

The only thing I really regret purging was my first ever purchase - a tiny yellow bikini. I was so scared to buy it (even though the lady in the shop couldn't have cared less and probably didn't even notice), but I just fell in love with the way it fit me. It was all sentimental value... But living with my parents I was so paranoid I don't think I owned it longer than a month or two. Now I have tons more swimwear, but nothing quite like that...

[Linzy]

Wow Linzy and girlygirl you two are so lucky to have gotten your hands on real-life cheer outfits in high school! Hindsight is 20-20, but at that time it must have been a huge rush!

The only thing I really regret purging was my first ever purchase - a tiny yellow bikini. I was so scared to buy it (even though the lady in the shop couldn't have cared less and probably didn't even notice), but I just fell in love with the way it fit me. It was all sentimental value... But living with my parents I was so paranoid I don't think I owned it longer than a month or two. Now I have tons more swimwear, but nothing quite like that...

Yea, I completely understand the feeling. I still get it anytime I order something online. Although neither of my parents have ever opened anything with my name on it, there is always that "but what if...." in the back of my head.

[jillleanne]

All, and I mean ALL my shoes!!!!!!

[KiwiHeather]

A pair of black patent leather Stilleto shoes (went in the rubbish with everything else). Did it as part of my move from Auckland to Christchurch last year. New start and time to dump the "silly hobby". Stupid thing was my wife and I were appart for about 5 months during that time (she was in chch with her parents while I finished painting the house for sale) and I could have lived enfemme for months had I known ho liberating it was/is.

Damn do I miss those shoes, classy and sexy. Havent been able to find some to replace them at a price I can afford, but I have been watching some black leather knee length boots that might dull the pain on TradeMe (NZ version of Ebay).

Heather

[ArleneRaquel]

Many items, but especially some very sheer items from Fredericks. Black lingerie is something that I'll never throw away again.

[Shelly67]

A pair of lace up leather knee boots ..... purged in denial .
But the worst , the very greatest regret was my hair . It was like Robert Plants .......... stupid , stupid ,stupid !!!!

[Janine cd]

I, like many of my sisters have purged several times. The most serious losses have involved jewelry and precious gowns. I lost beautiful rings, necklaces and bracelets along with golden earrings and gorgious bridesmaids gowns. Finally, I lost my most favorite wig in my last purge. I have never found a replacement for it.

[Nicola]

A denim pinnafore dress.
I guessed at the size in the shop - and guessed right! It fitted perfectly and was very comfy.
Sadly it went in one of my purges

Nicola :(

[Anna Lorree]

A really pretty black and pink bra, panty and garter set I bought about 3 years ago. It went with part of my last great purge. Even my wife said I was a fool when I told her I was a crossdresser.

Anna

[Leyna]

To all those who SHOES OH MY GOD I MISS MY SHOES...yes, that. Though I am planning on going shopping this weekend to get my first pair of heels since the big purge. Really excited. I've had my eye on a cute pair of black ankle boots.

[Susan_Xdress]

Oh YES !

Of course I do not condone stealing, but I was 11 through 15 and I confess that the urge to dress was greater than any notions that I was 'stealing'. (panty-raid mentality) A decade later I am not rationalizing or excusing; It was what it was.

So to the question - My very first purge, at age 15, when I was going to 'grow up' and forget all that dressing up like a girl nonsense. My sister is three years older than me, and her clothes fit me perfectly. There was no need to steal what I could borrow from the bedroom next to mine. As for the others . . . Many of my first clothes were stolen from a cousin, and others from sisters of school friends.
I wanted to emulate the way that they looked, and so I wanted to wear their things.

It wasn't just the physical item, but the particular girl and how I got them. I remember every single skirt and panty and there was a story for every garment. I regret the loss of those more than anything. There were times when I would be actually wearing a girl's things underneath my male clothes,(usually panties) while standing talking with her.

Those first purged items that I regret loosing the most would include my first pleated skirt and first full slip.

[MarcyHunter]

Gone cottin choppin.

[ReineD]

It wasn't just the physical item, but the particular girl and how I got them. I remember every single skirt and panty and there was a story for every garment. I regret the loss of those more than anything. There were times when I would be actually wearing a girl's things underneath my male clothes,(usually panties) while standing talking with her.

OK, so I know you were young then and are past all that now, but reading your post brings up a question. If you had had your own money from mowing lawns for example, and if you had lived near public transportation, would it have been as exciting to go to a Walmart and get a pack of $3.00 panties? Or was part of the thrill knowing that you were wearing the panties of a girl you knew, as if you were appropriating her persona somehow, as best as a 15 year old could?

I'm not slamming, just really trying to understand.

[suit]

I think that the animal absorbs/senseses some thing with more than just its unsopiscated nose ,and it "sets " a presadent.
I fear that used panties and anythig a womans has soaked with her sweat are a snare and a delusion for a hetro,male.

[lingerieLiz]

One thing I notice on these purge threads is that members talk about wishing they had old outfits back. Styles change! Even buying clasic outfits they eventually go out of style. It often seems like we are holding onto things that should be tossed. Why would you regret losing a cheerleader outfit that most girls ditch after gradualtion?

My daughter and wife have purged closets full of clothes as styles change. They have taught me to do it. We used to have meetings and vote on what to purge. Yes there are times that vintage clothes come back, but lets get real. Storage costs more than they are worth. I've learned my lesson over the years. I now purge things that I shouldn't, won't or don't like wearing anymore.

I think many of us are hoarders of the obsolete. A few great things are better than a closet full of rejects from the past.

[cindy777]

Like most I have purged a few times thru my life but the thing I really miss the most was a beautiful pair of peeps black high heels. I have never been able to find a pair quite like them since. Of course there was a few pair of dresses I would love to have back, no more purges I plan on keeping all my things from now on. Those shoes were beautiful.

[Susan_Xdress]

Reine:

In answer to your questions, no it was not the same when buying a $3:00 pack of panties from WalMart when 11 thru 15.

I’m sorry if I didn’t explain well. I did state that, “I wanted to emulate the way they looked, and so I wanted to wear their things”. For example when I watched the girls in class at school and being fascinated by the seemingly automatic way girls smoothed their skirts/dresses under them as they sit. I wanted to look like that, and experience the sensation of that. Some girls had a way of standing, a shy way of picking at their dress while talking, I found it to be very girly behavior. I wanted to emulate it.
And so yes. In my mind there was an element of appropriating some of her persona if I wore her clothing. I had seen that skirt move around her legs and very much wanted to experience that sensation and the look and feel like her.

Later of course we develop our own persona, which is an amalgamation of whatever may have influenced us.

Hope this helps,

Susan

[Amy Hepker]

The one Item I really wish I never would have gotten rid of was a Pretty Medium Blue Dress, it had a high neck with ruffles are the neckline like a victorian top and had a lond back zipper and 1/2 length sleeves, it also had ruffles around the sleeve cuffs and fro the shoulders down to the waist in a diaginal direction and a full skirt. The skirt was knee length and the skirt was tiered. It was a wonderful Dress to be Zipped into. I had some wonderful times in that dress witch includes one time, my now xwife had me wear it and we went to Wal-Mart. It was the first time out in public in girls clothes and the first time I was called a Lady bu the Lady at Wal-Mart front door. It was a day dressed as a girl without it being halloween. Another time I went out with the X and her girlfriend for a girl long drive. I was Great. then there was the time I went to a halloween party with the x dressed in the dress and my x had on a Pink dress. We parked down the street from the party and we walked up to the the party. As we approched the party there were people out on the porch and the guys started whistling at us, then we walked up to the house and they seen I was a guy, well they knew me as as a guy and it was the first time they seen me in a dress. I had a Great time that night too as there was anothewr guy dressed as a girl, he had on his sisters Skirt, Bra, and white girls blouse and multi-color staight wig with like Icicle hair. Then there was the time I went to a bar dressed as a girl on halloween and got to stand with the girls. Guys were looking at me. It was a Greeat Dress and I hated getting rid of it, but I did to prove to my X wife that I would do anything for her, but it did not matter, she was and had been cheating on me for years. Anyway I loved that dress and I have never found another one like it and oh yea, I have been looking for all these years.

[ReineD]

And so yes. In my mind there was an element of appropriating some of her persona if I wore her clothing. I had seen that skirt move around her legs and very much wanted to experience that sensation and the look and feel like her.

Later of course we develop our own persona, which is an amalgamation of whatever may have influenced us.

Hope this helps,

I've just not thought of how it begins to form for a young boy, and so yes, it does help Susan. Thanks for explaining it.