View Full Version : How does your SO feel?

10-23-2005, 06:21 AM
Okay, we've all heard the tragic stories of MtF's girlfriends/wives finding out, sometimes leading to breakup....

But we don't don't seem to hear about what happens with the SO's of FtM CDs. So I ask... if you have an SO, does he/she/ze know? What do they think of it?

It's just that it seems there isn't as much of a stigma for FtM CDs... for some reason it's a lot easier (for me) to imagine a girlfriend rejecting a MtF than a boyfriend rejecting an FtM when he finds out. But that's probably just because of my perspective (after all, guys are pretty homophobic...) so I was hoping some others could shed some light on the subject.

10-23-2005, 07:03 PM
I'm not seeing anybody presently but a few months ago I ws dating a MTF TS. She actually had trouble with it. Trouble remembering what pronouns to use and all that. So that was odd.
Now, I find it more difficult because I'll be interested in guys and they think i'm a guy so they're not interested.

10-27-2005, 03:28 AM
Hmm, okay, thanks for the reply.

Jasmine Ellis
10-27-2005, 06:20 AM
:doll: Hi.
ftm they have been doing it for years. And no one cares, no one calls them names when they are outside. I do not have anything against them cos they are who they are and we are who we are if it's mtf or ftm, good on them I say.:thumbsup:
Love Jasminxxxxxxxxxxx

10-27-2005, 09:36 AM
ftm they have been doing it for years. And no one cares, no one calls them names when they are outside.

Not true, Jasmin. While it's true that MtFs have it much worse, FtMs can also be subject to abuse or, at the very least, misunderstanding since some people assume all female crossdressers to be gay (just like some people assume of male crossdressers). :rolleyes:

To answer your question, Kera, I never had an SO that minded my crossdressing, but then none of them knew about my male duality, so they just assumed I was eccentric. I'll have to come clean one of these days and then things may be different. In other words, I can't really answer the question honestly yet. Good question, though. :thumbsup:

10-27-2005, 05:13 PM
I guess for me it isnt as much of an issue due to the fact that i am gay, so the imidiate recation to an SO, if i had one, wouldn't be an issue. Although some gay women find it hard to accept that their girl friend is more of a man than they would like them to be. This can then bring up issues of them being pushed back into being straight.
I do have a mate who is ftm and is straight, and is currently seeing someone and as far as i know he doenst have an issue with it. But i dont really have any real personal experience.

10-27-2005, 07:56 PM
I think that a lot of FTMs have just as much trouble when coming out to family and friends, as MTFs do-- and probably just as much trouble on the street, just in a different way.
We still have the issue of wanting to pass. If I'm not passing, I'm automatically considered lesbian, and if I am, I'm considered straight. My new friends from school haven't a clue I'm female and they all, I'm guessing, assume I'm a straight guy, when in actuality, I'm very much a gay boy (if not a straight girl, depending on how you look at it). That can be very frustrating.
I think it's almost more difficult to come out if people think I'm physically male. That way I have to explain, look I'm female-- that's like deception. But if they know I'm female, and they know how I dress and behave, then I explain it, then they seem to get it more.

10-29-2005, 04:46 AM
I have a hard time telling girls I've dated that I'm not a biological man. So I tend to have relationships and end them before they get intimate. If I feel a person is worth it, I'll reveal my identity and stress that I am a male, but trapped in a woman's body. It may not be a safe thing for me to do, but it's how I've been living my life for the past 10 years. I wish I could do the surgery, but I will still be in the same situation. Lying to countless girls because I was too afraid to tell them the truth about myself.

The girl I'm somewhat seeing now knows the truth about me. It wasn't easy to reveal. After a few months of dating...I came out with it to her. Surprisingly she was more understanding than I thought, but she told me she had a feeling from the get go and that she still loved me regardless. I guess it was good luck on my part.