Well, it's official. Sorta...

[SandraAbsent]

I came out to my boss tonight. It went well, and in her words "WOW didn't see that coming!" Does this mean I will transition in the work place effective tomorrow? No. We both agreed that how it should be something that is well planned out prior to, not only among co-workers, but all my advertising clients. I guess this is the next step, regardless I feel like a 1000 tons have been lifted from my shoulders.

[Rianna Humble]

Congratulations on getting your boss on your side! That is a big plus to start with. :thumbsup:

You and your boss have got it exactly right IMNSHO, the best way to have a successful in-place transition is to prepare, prepare then prepare some more.

I hope that you won't get side-tracked by company considerations and forget the fact that it is up to you how much or how little other people are told and by whom.

When it comes to telling your clients, the fact that you have your boss's support for this transition will make a big difference to the way that they perceive the change.

If you feel anything at all like I did when I spoke to my boss, you are probably wondering why you don't just float off the face of the planet now that you don't have that great weight on your shoulders any more. I'm really pleased for you :bighug:

[Danni Renee]

I am very happy for you! I hope the rest of the transition at works goes just as well.

Danni

[Eileen]

Congratulations Sandra on taking that big step. Having a supportive boss is such a big plus as you continue this important part of your journey.

Eileen

[abigailf]

Congrats I am so happy for you. A 1000 tons is quite heavy. Good luck and I can't wait to hear how it goes.

[RylieCD]

Congrats Sandra, it is really good to hear that your boss is supportive

[Starling]

Gosh Sandra, the way you describe your feelings after coming out to your boss makes me wish I had one!

:heehee: Lallie

[SandraAbsent]

Discussion #2 at work tonight, this time with the "other" boss the husband/co-publisher. It's interesting to me how much the conversation differs between a male and female employer. Conversation #1 was a heartfelt discussion about how hard and challenging it must be with a lot of questions and answers. Conversation #2 went like this. "Listen what ever you need to do, I don't give a shit as long as it doesn't change the way you perform since that is already at a high level. Done.."

[AllieSF]

Sandra, thank you for such a positive and rewarding post. I do so like to read the success stories of transitioning in place. I sometimes think that all who transition should at least officially test the waters at their current place of employment, no matter where they are. I think that the world in general is not so anti-LGBT as we sometimes think. It is far from where it should be, but like most things in life, you never know until you at least try. Thanks again.

[Badtranny]

Ya know Sandra, a few months ago I would have totally disagreed with Allie about transitioning at work, but just like pretty much everything I thought about this transition, I was totally wrong. First congratulations on your courage because I know it took a considerable amount. It's funny because I had a whole litany of reasons I would spout when people would say I should at least try to transition in-place and I was pretty convincing too, I almost convinced myself. The reality is, I was just too scared. I felt like it would just be easier to get another job. Can you believe that? EASIER! Well, the transition train kept a rollin' and I eventually grew the courage to do what had to be done. Come out professionally.

What you've done is a major almost heroic accomplishment because you can't put that bullet back in the gun. You are now committed, and that shows an authenticity that will shine in your future professional relationships.

It amazes and humbles me to look around and see the incredible people that I now call sisters and brothers. Welcome to being out, really out.

...and my heartfelt congratulations for a huge step towards the rest of your life, I always like to say it takes balls to be a tranny and it's absolutely true even for our F2M brothers, and girl you've got a pair!

[AllieSF]

Thanks for putting better words to my thoughts Melissa. I just wanted to add, that as I see all of you progress in your transitions, I think it would be also nice to thank all the company's and the people in them that are trying to follow the rules (willingly or not) to make your future life a reality. This is regardless if they have to or not. There are so many ways that company's can sabotage someone's career, when they really want to for whatever reason. It sometimes takes courage on their part to truly follow those rules too. Food for thought.

[SandraAbsent]

I think that the world in general is not so anti-LGBT as we sometimes think. It is far from where it should be, but like most things in life, you never know until you at least try. Thanks again.
Well as far as this is concerned, I really feel as if this is only the start of a long battle. Coming out to both of my employers who happen to be notoriously liberal was really the easy part. Step two comes coming out to my co-workers, again most of our staff is notoriously liberal so I don't see that as a problem either. My fear factor is gone a little bit now that the first steps have been made. Melissa is right however, there is nothing easy about this whatsoever. To me coming out full time represents a no turning back point. For many years I have been comfortable in my fear of being out, and horrified at the fact that I can't be.

Melissa, I too tried the "find a new job route." When I honestly looked at how long that would take with the combination of bad economy, being trans, and not having IDs changed yet, it was clear to me that one thing needed to happen. I needed to be out at work before some yahoo calls for a reference check and outs me under terms I was not prepared for. Then I thought to myself...self, you've worked hard all your life. Sometimes you've had situations where everything was against you and somehow you worked your way through it. I really saw this as no different of a situation. If I am going come out for reference purposes, I might as well just do this. Whats the worst that can happen? I loose my job? Well I've had that happen 3 times in the last 5 years so this is nothing new. People think I am strange and weird and decide to no longer be my friend? Well this has happened all my life so whats new.

I work in advertising sales so my income is 100% commission based. One of my biggest fears was losing business and relationships that I had worked so hard to develop. When I started with this company no one handed me accounts on a silver platter, I had to work for them. Some of my clients know and are fine with it. Some don't and of those, some will roll with it like nothing happened, some will be apprehensive at first and move on like nothing happened, some will be apprehensive at first and decide they cant do it, and some will decide they cant do it period. Either way I am 100% prepared for the fact that I WILL loose business. I am also 100% positive that I will have to work harder and smarter than any other account exec in the company because of these things. But like I said before, its not like I have never been in the position of having seemingly impossible odds against me and I am still not tits up and six feet under. I just know that I am going to have to turn into Super Saleswoman!!!!

So there ya go...

I always like to say it takes balls to be a tranny and it's absolutely true even for our F2M brothers, and girl you've got a pair!
What employers who deny us don't understand is exactly this. If we are willing to risk everything to be who we need to be, what kind of employee do you think we will be?

[SandraAbsent]

The next step, a letter to my clients. Tried to keep it short and to the point and on a confident and strictly professional level!


As a valued business partner to {Name Removed}, our primary concern has always been what is in the best interest of increasing the awareness for your organization to our readership. As the 2012 year comes upon us, {Name Removed} will strive to continue this valuable relationship.

Over the next month leading into this New Year there will be a change in the way that your account will be handled. This change comes as a result of personal challenges that have existed for years, yet only recently are being acted on. It is necessary for me now, as your account executive, to disclose what is needed to continue our business relationship. As the result of a condition known as Gender Dysphoria, a decision has been made in my personal and professional life that will lead me to begin pursuing a life in a gender role that is opposite what you have become accustomed to in our business relationship. If you would like to learn more about this, please feel free to contact me and I will be more than willing to provide you with resources that will lead to a better understanding.

If you have any questions regarding the changes in how your account is handled, please feel free to contact myself, {Names Removed} (Publishers), or {Name Removed} (Sales Manager) and we will be happy to address your inquiries.