What does being transexual mean?

[Melissa Jill]

What does being a woman mean? How am I meant to know what I am? arrgghhhhh
I don't get it!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

many ts people go round and round in circles...don't let this be your fate...

I call these types of queries "torture questions" You will never know the answer...and your internal dialogue will become more and more difficult...

One way to constructively attack these questions is to aggressively pursue transition...get electrolysis, take HRT, start living as female, or at least live as female for weekends or nights...

Then use your experience as data to help you..

[Frances]

One way to constructively attack these questions is to aggressively pursue transition...get electrolysis, take HRT, start living as female, or at least live as female for weekends or nights... Then use your experience as data to help you..

I agree with this. It is perhaps the only way to discern fantasy from reality. There is so much dreaming on the site. Some would even circumvent the SoC to leave the dream intact. RLE and RLE type experiences and actions are meant to confirm the gender identity. As Katesback and Stephenie S would say: DO IT!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Melissa,


You just know deep within you what you are.

You are or your not.

If your already questioning what exactly you are I highly doubt you are TS.

Your first stop is a therapist, don't go any further than that.



Julia

[abigailf]

The questioning could be that you are still being in denial. As Julia says, see a therapist. They will help you discover yourself.

[Frances]

The odds are that you are trans. Cis-gendered people don't think about their gender identity. It is invisible to them. It sounds from all your posts that you are scared. That's normal. The only way to overcome it is moving forward and verifying things.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The odds are that you are trans. Cis-gendered people don't think about their gender identity. It is invisible to them. It sounds from all your posts that you are scared. That's normal. The only way to overcome it is moving forward and verifying things.

Right....What am I???? is code for I'm scared....most people fantasizing do not express conflicts.

[Steph.TS]

Melissa, I too have these questions, here's what I do, and I find it helps, as other have said therapy great first step, I'done some light cosmetic stuff like laser hair removal, nail polish, straightening my hair etc... but one thing that helps me is asking people that transitioned how they knew they were trans, or when it was they didn't like about their assigned gender, I asked a TS woman how she knew she wanted to transition, and she told me some of her life experience leading up to the point and I found it lined up almost perfectly with where I am right now.

I asked a transman what he didn't like about being a woman (I approach this question with the mindset that no gender is going to be perfect and will have drawbacks, so I'm trying to make sure I'm doing the right thing by transitioning to being a woman) and he told me that he didn't feel right in that gender, that he simply didn't fit in. I find exploring transsexuality and learning about it, about the people going through this that we can learn about ourselves as well.

ultimately you have to find the truth in a way that makes sense to you. I wish you the best of luck.

[noeleena]

Hi,

So what does being a woman . really mean.= being one from birth. knowing you are well female tho for some of us we dont have all thats needed to have children most do some of us dont. that does not stop us being female / women. i knew what / who i was from very young age 10 . no ifs no but,......i am female / woman what ever word is used to explain my self .

It's not about i have to prove my self i have to be told or even talk about it. it comes down to one word = knowing =
Its just there, & from birth. for my self its inbuilt not a tack on. not some thing that happened later on.

Now of cause we are all different so wehave to look a lot deeper than clothes makeup & so on its about the person the real part of who you are.

...noeleena...

[thechic]

Being transexual means your never got any money,you have lost most of your friends,you have to see the doctor often,you have to worry about the kids being bullied about the way you look,It takes longer to get ready to go out ,you often worry how you look when out,and often you familyfalls apart,and this is every day of your life not just some times.and some times you have days when you just wish you were not born this way.

[Frances]

Being transexual means your never got any money,you have lost most of your friends,you have to see the doctor often,you have to worry about the kids being bullied about the way you look,It takes longer to get ready to go out ,you often worry how you look when out,and often you familyfalls apart,and this is every day of your life not just some times.and some times you have days when you just wish you were not born this way.

Oh yeah... I had forgotten about that. The price is really steep for achieving piece of mind and feeling right in your skin.

[meri]

Melissa,
My recommendation is to be yourself, be the fullest and highest expression of yourself. Reach deeply within to find out who you are and be that. Allow your inner light to shine forth through you completely. The result will be uniquely you and not someone else's definition or idea of what a "woman" is.

Suppose I provide you with a definition of a "woman", would you really alter your behavior and appearance to meet that definition?

Isn't this journey really about finding our who we truly are?

[Melissa Jill]

Thanks for your replies everyone. Sorry I keep making threads, I am in the process of finding a therapist. My doctor is going referring me to a gender specialist, sometimes I just get so fustrated in thinking about this so much and seemingly getting nowhere. Thanks again.

[Aprilrain]

some times you have days when you just wish you were not born this way.

like today for instance : (

[Badtranny]

like today for instance : (

awwwww hang in there doll face, there's a lot of us out here that love you. I mean, not me, but I'm sure there's plenty of others, ;-)

Melissa, (great name)

If you won a hundred thousand dollars free and clear what is the first thing you would do? Buy a car? Pay off debts? Buy a house?

I don't even have to ask my transitioning friends this question. They would have surgeries scheduled before they even called me to say they won the money.

A TS person has a laser like focus on the end goal. I don't even have problems anymore, I have schedules. The waffling is painful and unnecessary. Make a commitment and then take a step. Progress at your own pace but you MUST progress. Otherwise you're just making yourself miserable.

Back when I used to race motocross, we used to say that the BS stops when the gate drops. Are you or aren't you? You're either fast enough or your not, but you will never know until you race. Until then it's all just talk. So get started girl and see how you measure up. You will know who you are soon enough.

[Frances]

A TS person has a laser like focus on the end goal. I don't even have problems anymore, I have schedules.

Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Traci Elizabeth]

What is transsexual? I have no clue, I was born a women with this grossly over-sized clitoris.....

[Kathryn Martin]

This is what the DSM 4 says:


The desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by the wish to make his or her body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatment
The transsexual identity has been present persistently for at least two years
The disorder is not a symptom of another mental disorder or a chromosomal abnormality

Maybe that answers your question in the title of this post. The question in your actual posts asks about something quite differently, that question is what we all and half the population of this planet are struggling with every day.

[Melissa Jill]

This is what the DSM 4 says:


The desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by the wish to make his or her body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatment
The transsexual identity has been present persistently for at least two years
The disorder is not a symptom of another mental disorder or a chromosomal abnormality

Maybe that answers your question in the title of this post. The question in your actual posts asks about something quite differently, that question is what we all and half the population of this planet are struggling with every day.

That is surprisingly helpful actually. Thanks.

[Kathryn Martin]

That is surprisingly helpful actually. Thanks.

There is so much talk and supposition out there all of the consistency of cotton wool. I understand you confusion and heard your cry in the original post.

I wish you all the best in your journey

Kathryn