counseling madness

[Shari]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck? But I digress.

That aside, "go to counseling" runs rampant and is the ultimate answer throughout this forum for any perceived ill or imagined aberrant behavior.
Can anybody here tell me if seeing a shrink actually helped them? I mean aside from being prompted to openly talk about it.
For instance, you are most probably asked at your $150.00 per hour sessions deflecting questions such as, "What do you think about that?" or "How does that make you feel?"
The ones who are "cured" provide their own answers by being prompted to simply talk about it. When that doesn't work, you are put on some sort of mind numbing tranquilizer drug.

Hey, the answers are here, right on this site and it won't cost you a dime. Bartenders and people of the clergy are good listeners too.

[Karren H]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck? But I digress.
.

I foreget to use my Blackburry'z spell chuck from thyme to tyme...

[Marleena]

I guess it must be a Canadian thing! Example: http://www.ccacc.ca/

You'll see a lot of spelling "mistakes" from us: So you'll need a sense of HUMOUR <----- Canadian spelling. Really we all make make spelling mistakes I understand what people are saying though, so no biggie.:)

[LeaP]

Like any other professional, you have to find one that's worthwhile. The psych profession seems to suffer more credibility issues than some. Gender issues are sufficiently specialized that seeking out someone with expertise and experience would be helpful, however, which is why I've been looking.

That said, and silly threads aside, I HAVE found this forum helpful in thinking through some of my own issues. What it can't do is provide access to medical professionals, as can a psychologist or therapist. I had a very good experience with a therapist after I divorced my first wife. A couple of months and done. I also had very, very negative experiences with 2 different therapists when I was a teenager.

I understand your general reaction. I have a similar reaction whenever I hear ads that routinely say "talk to your doctor" ... as if most of us have such access or as if most doctors have the time for anything but cursory answers.

Lea

[Noortje]

Counseling can help you solve problems that you cannot solve on your own. Like any kind of treatment, it does not always work as intended, but giving it a try is usually better than letting the problem fester. Finding a good counselor that matches your personality is hard, but makes the success rate go up dramatically (this is from personal experience, not peer-reviewed research).

Complaining about people's inability to spell is not going to teach them English. It is also not allowed on this site.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Why do you think you have such hostility to counseling? How does that make you feel?

Liz (who has benefited from a therapist helping me face up to the source of my depression)

[Kelly DeWinter]

Eye have 2 agre wit car-ran spll chkers r highly ovr ated.

[Kelly DeWinter]

but seriously. Counselors,tharapists,psycharitrists are really about helping you find balance in your life. I would have a real problem is anyone said they could 'cure' any issue you are facing including smoking. A competent professional will through a series of questions help you determine what you would like to change or resolve in your life (goals). then they will help you develope a set of steps to work towards accomplishing those goals.

huggs

Kelly

[Marleena]

For my serious answer, I can understand people ( Shari for one) having issues with the cost of counseling. There are some bad ones out there and being so expensive you want results. They do prescribe some nasty drugs too. Please research for side effects before taking them, and question them if you are not comfortable with it. I also agree this forum is therapeutic for most of us.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Not all of us our blessed with the self esteem and self knowledge to make good common sense decisions about our lives...this is true for everyone, but the confusing and shame inducing nature of being gender diverse is an especially heavy burden for some people..

Counselor's help alot of people.. there are alot of good and bad counselor's, so it is up to each of us to make the most of an opportunity to pay someone $$ to help us figure out a very complicated and confusing situation.

A counselor helped me save my life.. hopefully you would consider that helping..

One very underrated function of a counselor for cd's and ts's is that they often give us our first real opportunity to meet others like us outside of the bar scene.

[Jenniferathome]

I believe virtually all the "go to counseling" suggestions are to those that are having identity issues or spouse issues. A counselor can act as an arbitrator and help two people communicate or provide a rational sounding board for someone who is conflicted. Bartenders don't meet that criteria.

[EllieOPKS]

I agree with your comments on spelling. There are a lot of free spell checks available.

Personally, I have never had a circumstance I felt a counselor could help me with until recently, and btw the way, it has nothing to do with my cross dressing hobby. It is an issue that does not allow me to sleep anymore, when my mind goes there I practically sit up in bed. So I have been thinking lately that maybe it's time I get another perspective.

[Raychel Torn]

First, as to spelling: I am a college professor with a Ph.D and a J.D and yes, I want my students to spell every word correctly but, that is not what I am looking for on this site. I want people to feel free to communicate without the fear of the rest of us pointing out that they misspelled a word (or 100 words). Even though I am managed to get my degrees, I have Dyslexia and spelling is an issue for me. That means that even on this site I don't always answer even when I have things that might help, because I am afraid I will mess up the spelling. Yes, spell check would be nice, but honestly I don't think that is what we are all here for.

Now as for "counseling" (I was sure to check the spelling): It was helpful to me when I was coming to grips with the fact that I was going to come out to my wife, and I am 100% clear on the fact that my wife responded in a loving fear free way because of the counseling. So, YES, YES, YES it can be a great help.

(God I hope I didn't use any word substitutions in this post, ie: Form for from. Spell check just doesn't get everything."

[Steph.TS]

I go to a psychologist so she doesn't prescribe anything, I find her to be of great help as she provide perspective, and suggestions on how to move forward breaking barriers I have. I'm not going to therapy for a 'cure' I'm simply trying to find a way out of this prison I have for myself. I'm a transsexual, and I have been raised in a conservative christian environment. my life experience tells me this is wrong and that I'll never be accepted. but if I can over come my upbringing (and find my faith does indeed support this) then I have the freedom I'm looking for.

[Julogden]

When it's obvious from someone's posting that their relationship is totally in the toilet or they're trying and failing at dealing with serious or even life-threatening issues, then it's entirely appropriate to suggest counseling, in my opinion. People in a forum are not in a position to give effective help in situations like that.

And yeah, some people apparently ignore the spell checker, but you may have noticed that it's against the rules to make fun of other's spelling in the forums, so try to ignore it, that's about all you can do.

Carol

[Leanne2]

Ok, I'll ask. Does this site have a spell check option? There are so many things that I don't know. Leanne

[RylieCD]

I have been seeing a theripist for many years and yes he may ask what I feel about this or that but he also turns things around to be seen in a different way. I needed to accept me for who I am and to figure out where i wanted to be on the TG spectrum, it is not clear to some of us. I continue to talk to him as it is nice just to unload on someone about the internal difficulties i put myself through by just trying to be who I am.

[*Vanessa*]

Love Marleena's post. I've started spelling words wrong just so I could fit in. Words like humour, colour, etc. Yes I am Canadian !!

It's a dull mind that can't figure out more than one way to spell the same word. Also this App has a few flaws and lets not forget about the ones that can actually, shall I say, adjust our posts at freewill.

One would have to start a topic in order to digress from it, otherwise it just reads like one is talking about themselves. </humour>

The Wealthy Barber comes to mind also, but so few here are so inclined not to use them.

I would hope at some point along this path professional people with the ability to help others get on with their life would be of no cost, outright, to the ones in need. Everyone needs help now and then, it only makes sense that the smarter the brain giving that help the faster the recovery (In my view). People are dieing to make the point of not fitting in everyday, Stop the Madness!

#JustSaying #My2cents

[Marleena]

In the U.S., only someone with an M.D. can prescribe medication. Psychotherapists without an M.D. cannot. So one would have to see a psychiatrist to obtain meds.

Yep, I stand corrected Val.:) psychologist/therapist cannot prescribe but they can analyze and make a report for your primary care physician who will then write you a prescription for medication needed.

[Cheryl T]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck?

Knot eveyone kin spel ass gud ass yew kin.

That aside, I think we've had numerous posts asking us not to pick on others grammar and spelling, so let's stick to the reality.

[Dawn cd]

I think some people have unreal expectations about counseling. They go in expecting to be "cured," but not all life-problems have cures. It helps to have another person listen to your situation—someone who can put it in a different perspective. That's worthwhile, and good enough for me.

And, yeah, I second Shari's remarks about spelling. While it's true this site is not about learning good English, it's hard to take some people seriously when they're sloppy about their writing. Who wants to dialogue with fourth-graders? Dyslexia aside, there's no excuse for it.

[Barbara Ella]

My daughter is a licensed clinical therapist, social worker, or something like that. Her biggest worry is the client who comes in and expects the "cure" and gets upset after one visit if they dont have it. BALANCE... As has been said, that is the reality of where we all strive to be. It may just be my daughter, but she takes clients who can only afford to pay $20 a visit, and is seeing several for over a year who have not been able to pay anything. She is, and I assume most counselors are, is interested in assisting her clients find some peace. I love my daughter (both actually, bunches)

Babes

[AllieSF]

Click the little green check mark with "ABC" above it and if you have not downloaded it already, the IeSpell Check software will prompt you to download it for free. At least that is how I found the spell check feature. It is far from the best, but it helps.

I have been helped by relationship counselors in the past. You also only get out of it what you put in to it. If you hate doctors, Republicans, and of course therapists, you will have a bad attitude going into it and you personally will make sure it fails. Yes, there are some bad ones, just like bad engineers (sorry Karren), bad medical doctors, bad navigators and any other profession out there. When you encounter one like that, you fire them and move on to the next one. Oh, by the way, the sky is not falling.

[Sandra]

I suggest that those who have had ago at the way things are spelt on this forum, and those who are thinking of making a comment along the same lines, read this (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=main_rules#faq_content)

[GaleWarning]

My take is that there are good counselors and bad counselors. Too many counselors are not conversant with transgenderism, or cannot remain unbiased when plying their business.

On the other hand, if one goes to a counselor who doesn't meet one's expectations, or if one shies away from attending counseling sessions because one is afraid that one will be blamed, the outcome will be a failure.

Two things I think are true ... the advice one receives on this forum is probably better than anything a counselor could provide, and it is free!

[Jonianne]

When a person has never developed a healthy sense of self, and/or does not know how to set boundries, or how to effectively communicate their needs, or how to feel emotions because of past issues blocking them, they need to see a good psychologist to help them work these issues out. The job of a good therapist is to put herself out of a job. She will help the client "see" ways of developing, the the client has been blind to. She will help the client find ways of getting her needs met on her own so that she, in time, no longer needs a therapist. Often after a period of individual therapy, the client will start going to a group setting to learn how to interact with others who are in the same or similar situations. From there, the client can start to find her own sources of personal therapy through being real and genuine with safe people in her own life.

How do I know this?, because my life was saved because of therapy. And cost wise, my therapists worked on a sliding scale with me.

Couples counseling is benifitial because it (hopefully) adds a non-judgemental third person to help the two who just cant find ways of working it out themselves, to see new ways of connecting and comming to a good balance.

So I raise my hand high when asked if counseling has ever helped anyone. Before counseling I was literally going insane, to the point of hearing voices. If I had not had counseling by wonderful therapists, I probably would not be here now. That was 20 years ago and my life has been changed so much. I am at peace and love life.

[Barbara Ella]

Allie, Allie, Allie, I cannot believe you could even mention a bad engineer, even if jesting. Engineers are the most insightful observant, intelligent, conversant individuals on the face of the earth, and a short while ago I couldn't spell enginer, and now I are one.....

Hugs, Babes

[sandra-leigh]

Spell-checking is a browser function, not a site function.

I have gone to three therapists, including one when I was a child. I would say that without question all three of them have helped me.

[Tara D. Rose]

I foolishly went to marriage counceling many years ago. Looking back, I realise it was just a waste of time and money. I will never do that ever again.
L&R...............Tara

[TinaMc]

Not TG related, but my wife had more success in getting over some of her chronic depression issues talking to a CBT-based clinical psychologist for six or eight sessions than 8 years of taking antidepressants. It was "free" on the NHS here in the UK, but she was on a waiting list for a few months...

[Kathy Smith]

First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck? But I digress.


EEEnteresting....

"Counselling" is the correct British & Canadian spelling. Can we help it if you get it wrong? ;-)

Your comment about spellchecking got me too. I _have_ got spellchecking in the reply box here (American spellings though). Mind you, I'm running linux so it could be that that's the difference.

[BonnieSue]

I agree 100 % I have PTSD from Vietnam and people think that I need counseling and have tried it. It does not work. You have to be who you are and not care what other people think or say about you. They cannot live your life for you and there is things in their live most of the time that they need to deal with. My wife I feel is more concerned with what people like family , boss, and friends would think of her if they knew about my CS. I have very few fiends because I drove cross county as a semi driver long haul 48 and Canada for 40 some years . I am used to people hating me or disliking me ever since I came home from Vietnam and was called baby killer and hated by over half of American's because of that war , so I don't need people but I know my wife does and I love her and care enough to think about her. After all she is the mother of my six children and we have went through the losing of one a few years ago. Be true to yourself, your mate and to your God first and always. You only live once on this earth. I feel alive CS and will keep doing it until I cannot take care of myself any more, or when I will not hurt my family. If I could see how CS dress hurts me or others or puts anyone in danger that would be one think but I don't. I love good looking women and would like to be one 100% of the time but that was not meant to be.
First off, why do so many here butcher the spelling of the word counseling?
Not just that but so many words. Why doesn't this site employ spellcheck? But I digress.

That aside, "go to counseling" runs rampant and is the ultimate answer throughout this forum for any perceived ill or imagined aberrant behavior.
Can anybody here tell me if seeing a shrink actually helped them? I mean aside from being prompted to openly talk about it.
For instance, you are most probably asked at your $150.00 per hour sessions deflecting questions such as, "What do you think about that?" or "How does that make you feel?"
The ones who are "cured" provide their own answers by being prompted to simply talk about it. When that doesn't work, you are put on some sort of mind numbing tranquilizer drug.

Hey, the answers are here, right on this site and it won't cost you a dime. Bartenders and people of the clergy are good listeners too.

[suzy1]

I think there is a difference between getting help from a councillor and thinking we have got help from a counsellor just because we have gone to one.

I would say first work out the problem yourself. [You will be a stronger person afterwards and more able to cope with the next problem that comes up]

If that does not work go and talk to your family/friends. A problem shared is a problem halved as they say.

If that is not helping you probably have to pay a lot of money to talk to a stranger, sorry I mean counsellor.

Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes that’s just me being ignorant. And I get into a lot of trouble by not liking counsellors.


SUZY

[charlene#2]

boy do i have to agree with raychel on this,is that what we want to do on this forum,pick peoples spelling apart,for christ sake none of us on this site are perfect,why not just read what the person is saying, with out checking out their spelling, read what they meant

[rachellegsep]

Different terminology is used around the world - here a Psychiatrist not only talks but also can prescribe medication (is also an MD) whilst a Psycologist just talks (presumably the same as a counsellor). My SO and I went to female psycologist a few times regarding marriage and cding issues. I could see my wife wasn't happy that she sided with me so we stopped. However it opened up communications again and my wife has since become more accepting and is a member here. Without it I think we would probably be another divorce statistic :2c:

[MandyLee]

LOL So do you know any free spell chck download ?????? I tryed one think IE spellcheck puter didnt take it ????

I am looking for a counseler who can help intergrate my male and female side when I spend to much time enfem. May male side rebell's affriad of lossing the male idenity. Then my female side is like the same way to much time as a male and fem. side whats to play. This is driving my S/O crazy she doesnt know from day to day who she'll be with. At times I'm in male dress but fem. side comes out and vise versa.
How do I intergrate the two so they stop feeling threated by each other. I didn't have this problem before but now that with my S/O blessing and help Mandy has been free to come out when ever she wants and I have been for the first time in 50 plus years have been enjoying the fem. side more then ever before. This brought on the internal conflick as the both fight to not be lost. Its driving me coo coo as well.
Have you had this problem and if so any words of wisdom that might help me before I spend a bunch of$$ and time searching for the right counseler to help ?????

[Stephanie-L]

Well, there were two big issues brought up by the original post.
First, the whole spell check/grammer thing. Consistant spelling and proper grammer in writing are there for the convienence of the READER, so that they do not have to stop and decipher each word, thus making reading easier and faster. If I have to struggle through a post because of the spelling, grammer, punctuation and capitalization, I will probably not read it. The worst problem I have is text-speak, I don't want to stop and decipher "that letter stands for this word" etc. Perhaps if I was younger or used the text function on my phone more it wouldn't be such a problem. Of course if you think things here are bad try reading some middle English works in the original, from a time when the writters not only made up their own spellings, but often changed the spelling from one use to another in the same document, sometimes even changing the spelling of proper names from use to use.
Second, Counseling. I have been to two different counselors/therapists regarding my CD/TG issues. Both were helpful, even if only in the fact that they are relatively neutral people I can talk openly to. Talking to people here is good, but you cannot say that they are neutral, simply the fact of the kind of forum it is creates a bias. Also, hopefully the counselor has skills to help a person grow and handle problems. I know that with both of mine, they have suggested things I would not have thought of myself that did make my life better. Just because you don't see the use in counseling or had a bad experience, do not discount the roll of mental health professionals for others on this forum............Stephanie

[RachelOKC]

Shari, so much of your original post is based on judgement, misconception, ignorance, and dismissiveness that I hardly know where to start. The very tone of your inquiry indicates you're not really interested in actually learning anything from our responses. Here goes anyway in case someone can take something from it.

(Ignoring the spelling rant)


That aside, "go to counseling" runs rampant and is the ultimate answer throughout this forum for any perceived ill or imagined aberrant behavior.

The reason why recommendations to see a therapist "run rampant" is because it really does help a lot of times. A "perceived ill or imagined aberrant behavior" may certainly seem like nothing to you, but it is very real to the people experiencing the issues.


Can anybody here tell me if seeing a shrink actually helped them?

I see a therapist for depression and transgender issues and it certainly helps.


I mean aside from being prompted to openly talk about it.

But isn't that the point? A lot of people can't freely talk about their concerns with friends and family. A therapist is generally impartial, non-judgemental, and is bound to confidentiality.


For instance, you are most probably asked at your $150.00 per hour sessions deflecting questions such as, "What do you think about that?" or "How does that make you feel?"

Some do, but I don't pay even close to that amount. All relevant questions - including your examples - are valid, and if you're deflecting them then you're not helping your own cause. The therapist doesn't make you better, they help you to make yourself better.


The ones who are "cured" provide their own answers by being prompted to simply talk about it.

If you go to therapy looking for a "cure" then you're probably going to be disappointed. You learn how to deal with, accept, get around, overcome, or avoid the things that cause difficulty. Know how you do that? You talk about it with someone who knows how to talk about those things, get to the root of difficulties, and help you to look at and handle things is a more productive way.


When that doesn't work, you are put on some sort of mind numbing tranquilizer drug.

Actually, a lot of antidepressant / anti-anxiety meds provide motivation, clarity, and also improve the ability to organize thoughts.


Hey, the answers are here, right on this site and it won't cost you a dime.

If you want to go to WebMD or Wikipedia to diagnose yourself with HIV or cancer, the answers are right there and it won't cost you a dime. But you wouldn't want to rely on that, would you? Funny how quickly issues of the mind get dismissed, yet the brain is the most complicated and least understood organ in the human body.


Bartenders and people of the clergy are good listeners too.

I'm sure they can be, as any number of people can. But a bartender's job is to serve drinks and a clergyman's job is to serve God. Since the answers are right here on this site, you'll find a lot of anecdotes from people who have problems (especially transgenderism) complicated by alcohol or religion.

If someone is able to go through life happy and content, can talk to their family and friends openly about everything, and can fix their every ill based on what they read on a website then I am truly happy for them in return because they are blessed. But I'd also certainly hope that blessed individual would have some compassion and won't crap all over someone else's needs just because it isn't their own.

[Loveday]

As for spelling for some dum reason every time I try to type a message here or on facebook I become spelling disfunctional. I cannot get use to the sensitivity of the keys of the computer boards and cannot remeber which fingers to hit the right key with at he same time. As I get older it is getting worse. When I learned to type in junior high I typed 80 wpm accurtately, today I doubt if it would be 10 wpm.

As for counselors I really think you can get pretty good information here. I saw the same counselor as a individual and for marriage counseling, so did my wife at the time. What a waste. The only thing he ever stated that came close to being correct was that the male and female sides of my personality seemed out of balance. When I went home that night and watched the news he was on every channel being sued by former female clients for not keeping his hands to him self during their therapy sessions. After several years and a divorce he has appeared a couple more times on the evening news. Needless to say I fired him a long time ago. He now from what I hear works in admissions diagnosis at a hospital and my former spouse is his SO. I cannot believe the state Michigan has not taken this clowns licsence away. My advice is to just be careful which counselor you choose, there is probably some good ones out there but there is alot of information to be found in places like this on the net.

Myself I will never be able to trust a counselor again. Thank God my son who I raised was able to see other counselors to help him get through all of this.

[sometimes_miss]

I think one of the biggest misunderstandings of going into therapy is that you're going to get 'cured'. And, the mental health industry doesn't want to tell you about it, either. Unless you're suffering from some type of chemical/hormonal imbalance, there is no cure. All they can do is help you deal with who you are, hopefully better than how you are dealing with it already. There's always been some sort of myth that once you went into therapy, and found out about all the reasons for why you were so screwed up, you could get over it. Not so. At least, not usually. I have lots of patients that believe that since they're in therapy, they should now be 'happy'. It's difficult to tell them that life is mostly drudgery. Sure, there are a few of us that get to do what we like for a living, but that's the exception rather than the rule.

[docrobbysherry]

SPELLING:
I visit this site via 3 computers! And, have no idea where to find, "Spell check", on any of them!

COUNSELORS:
Rachel covered that subject quite well above! I can only add what I learned in my experience with one. We visited her to try and save our marriage. But, it wasn't saveable! I continued to see her alone to get past/over our break up. She was VERY HELPFUL to me. We touched on and zipped past my dressing in about 15 minutes because she DIDN'T SEE IT AS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE!

If u go in to see a therapist with the idea that they can't/won't help, they probably won't! If u go in trusting them and wanting/hoping for help, you'll probably get it!

Pick an experienced therapist who is QUALIFIED in the field u need advice/help in: marriage, gender, dependencies, etc., etc.

[KellyJameson]

Finding solutions to problems comes from every corner of ones life. Therapy can be a powerful tool when in the hands of a skilled practitioner who as worked with others of similar problems.

Therapy can be particularly healing for those who have experienced the trauma of childhood violence, sexual abuse, incest, covert incest, abandonment or in general emotional scarring done by family when they were children because the very soul has been wounded leaving the person as an adult with feelings of utter worthlessness and extremely deep often irrational fear.

In my opinion therapy is weakest in areas of couples therapy because the therapist is at risk of being used as a pawn by the couple with one or both trying to get the therapist to take their side.

The intricacies of intimate relations are so great that it is difficult for an outsider to step into and untangle.

On a personal note it would be a shame for some to stop sharing their thoughts because they fear their spelling will be criticised. The heart and mind are far more important than the grammer. Please keep the love alive on this site because that is one of the things that makes it so exceptional

[Rianna Humble]

Well, there were two big issues brought up by the original post.
First, the whole spell check/grammer thing. Consistant spelling and proper grammer in writing are there for the convienence of the READER, so that they do not have to stop and decipher each word, thus making reading easier and faster. If I have to struggle through a post because of the spelling, grammer, punctuation and capitalization, I will probably not read it. The worst problem I have is text-speak, I don't want to stop and decipher "that letter stands for this word" etc. Perhaps if I was younger or used the text function on my phone more it wouldn't be such a problem. Of course if you think things here are bad try reading some middle English works in the original, from a time when the writters not only made up their own spellings, but often changed the spelling from one use to another in the same document, sometimes even changing the spelling of proper names from use to use.

I will refrain from talking about people in glass houses, but will nonetheless ask what part of the general ban on
any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress, the way they express themselves (such as spelling and language skills... you did not understand?



it would be a shame for some to stop sharing their thoughts because they fear their spelling will be criticised. The heart and mind are far more important than the grammer. Please keep the love alive on this site because that is one of the things that makes it so exceptional

At least someone has understood. Thank you, Kelly

[Shelly Preston]

Counselling can be useful

It may not work for everyone but its worth trying if you think it might help


As for spelling. I dont care as long as I can understand what is being said

[Sometimes Steffi]

I can honestly say that I have been helped by therapy, but I went in with possibly limited goals.

I didn't want to be cured, and I didn't want to have someone say it was due to my mom or dad, because they had both passed away, and I wouldn't be able to talk to them about it.

But I did want to know thay it (CDing) was OK, and that I was OK doing it. I also wanted to learn how to successfully maintain my marriage, and continue crossdressing.

The first item was an overwhelming success, as you can see in my signature, and the second is still a work in progress. Therapy is expensive, but it is less expensive than a divorce lawyer, and has a higher liklihood of sucess.

[LilSissyStevie]

I got nothing out of it. I spent 15 years "on the couch" and was worse off at the end than I was at the beginning. It probably had something to do with the fact that I was hostile and distrustful. There was no way I was going to let them know what was really going on in my head. My observation is that the people who can be helped by professional counselors are the ones that don't need them in the first place. The ones who really need it can't be helped. One of my daughters is a psychologist. I like to think she's doing some good for her clients. So, I'm not opposed to it, you take help where you can get it. I bought a chair yesterday and was loading it in the truck when a guy came along and helped me lift it in. I didn't need his help. I could've done it myself. Nevertheless, he made the job a little easier and I was grateful.

[Joann Smith]

I always were thought that it was narrow minded to think that there was only one way to spell a word...so sue me for being creative...

Ok....that excuse did not work in school either ....

BTW...my shrink is awsome ...She is really cute and super easy to talk to, I love our sessions ..

Eventhough she is not alot of help because I am still crazy a hell ....


Joann

[sandra-leigh]

There are different reasons (different triggers, different life situations) that one might go to counseling.

I went to family counseling from around age 11 to 15 or so. My parents recognized a situation and the entire family went, individually and jointly. It was an extremely progressive and beneficial decision by my parents. The situation could not have been dealt with effectively by way of sharing it with my parent's family, or friends, or our neighbours, or our clergy. I would not hesitate to say that the therapy was tremendously important towards getting me able to function in society. (People whose brains process information the way mine does, are prone to having breakdowns as a young teen. A close analogy would be to people with Asperger's Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome): I don't have that, but I would have ended up with fairly similar results through a different mechanism.)

Then, in my early 40's, I had a "major depressive incident". In earlier days, it would probably have been called a "Nervous Breakdown". I was seemingly fine and then suddenly I wasn't. Later we traced back and found that I had been dealing with the physical manifestations for over a decade before that. The first year of living with it, before I was able to obtain treatment, was My Year From Hell. Sicker than the proverbial dog. Dealing with the problem myself during that time was physically impossible for me: I could barely entertain a train of thought. Medication was crucial in getting me to the semi-functional stage of being able to physically get out of the house -- but years of trials with different medications found that at best they stabilized me and nothing was getting solved. So I started therapy, and that has certainly helped me deal with myself.

Do I still need the therapy? Yes, I do, as I am dealing with several tough life situations, any one of which would bring the average person low. (For example, several people at my workplace have bailed because of the workplace stress, and even the higher-ups have been saying outright that they expect that more people will leave because of it.)

Could I have gotten through my depression just with the help of my family and friends? Not very likely.

[Patti Remick]

That aside, "go to counseling" runs rampant and is the ultimate answer throughout this forum for any perceived ill or imagined aberrant behavior.
Can anybody here tell me if seeing a shrink actually helped them? I mean aside from being prompted to openly talk about it.


Not sure if you want 'counceling' or 'therapy' and in some cases they are not the same. Having said that and having gone to several 'therapists' (and spend alot of $$$) many years ago I will tell you that you can find ones that will say that you are 'fine/normal/average' and you can find ones that will say that you are 'sick/abnormal/perverted'. The latter ones usually cost more.