In the hospital again...

[Myojine]

I got out of the ER 2 days ago and now im sitting in a place called recovery innovations. a sort of rehab.


im so sick of this marrygoround dance.
this is the... 4th time i have willingly seeked help for my issues with transexualism.
im ****ing done.
the ngiht of november 30th was supose to be the last day of my life, but my roomate evicted me hours before i was going to hang myself.

im now sitting in this rehab, pecking away on my computer awaiting a doctor to come see me.

im done, i really am this time. if they cant help me here, or to some effect of hormones or... referals or something. as soon as im discharged im gonna do something again to end up in the ER or even better, the morgue. because im ****ing sick of this shit.



...
how the **** do i win this downhill battle!?
IF life is so great, why the **** is it so hard to get anywhere? i dont have a place to live, no one will hire me, I cant get a drivers licience...
god why wont people just let me die... or help me be a woman...
is it REALLY that hard for a psychologist to perscribe me a visit to the endocrynologist... and get me the generic hormones that are like 5$ for a 30day supply at walmart...
im sure i could beg people for money enough to afford that shit...

[ReneeT]

Myojine, my heart goes out to you, and i will pray for you. It sounds like you are where you need to be now. I hope your me dical team can help you

Hugs,
Renee

[Asako]

You know what really scares me? This realization:Unless I do something to transition, I'm going to feel something similar to the way you feel now. Each day of waiting to get that call from the clinic where they finally move me from the waiting list to an appointment while dealing with the stress of my crapshoot job is Hell. I've thought about the various ways I could end it with little or no chance of survival. After all, we are frail creatures. We just don't realize it. When I realized how sad and depressed I was all those weeks ago, I knew I needed help if I were to even live long enough to turn 26. My mind was crumbling and everything but my will to live had gave out. Because of the pain in my heart, I hit a wall as hard as I could just to lash out at something with all of my misery. That was about 2 months ago or so and my hand is still messed up.

Now, one has to ask themselves what the point of my post is. It's simple. I can't always be strong. I honestly don't believe anyone can always take the full weight of their problems. Ever been told something like "That's not just your cross to carry."? If everyone could always be strong and carry their problems, would they really have "problems"? If we could always carry our problems, there wouldn't be suicides(attempted or successful). Right now, it feels like you're at a moment of weakness where everything you're dealing with is starting to crush you with it's weight. It reminds me of something I had read once. I hope you'll read it in your PMs. I think you'll be able to relate to a woman's feelings on a cold, dark Thanksgiving Day.

[Melody Moore]

Sorry, while I really do feel sorry for you, I really don't think YOU are doing enough for
yourself to help you out of your dilemma. What I am reading here is that you expect
other people to organise a gender therapist etc. Now what is wrong with taking charge
and control of your own life? We are all masters of our own destiny and we can all find
a way out of these situations if we really want to. Others have been in tight spots and
been homeless to and somehow they have managed to find a way forward and get back
on their feet again. So why can't you? The reason why you are stuck on this merry-go-round
is because you choose to. I know people in the USA that are on welfare & disability & they
can manage. So again why can't you? I really don't think you are doing enough to help yourself.

I really want to see you get out of this rut and I don't believe you will do it while you keep
playing the victim here. I am also happy to put you in touch with people and give you other
alternatives for networking with others that can help you with moral support, but I have no
idea where you live to even begin. So if you want some real help, then private message me.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

That is a bit harsh Melody. One does not know the predicaments of the OP. Maybe all she needs is help, and has no idea how to approach the right avenues to get help. It is easy to say that some can get themselves out of predicaments that others consider easy, but for some, they may honestly have no idea on how to get help and this can lead to self harm and worst. Ease up please Melody.

[Melody Moore]

Me harsh? Hardly - talkimg about committing suicide is harsh to you know.

Excuse me Tania, but for over 12 months now I have seen Myojine
going in circles and there is a definite pattern here where it appears
to me she is waiting for someone to come to her rescue. Sure she is
crying out for help, that really is a no brainer, but sometimes when
there is no help, then you need to think about 'self-rescue', or getting
to another place to increase your chances of rescue. If you also look
more carefully, I did ask Myojine to contact me so we can see if there
is someone in her area who might be able to help. If not she might have
to relocate to another place where she can get help. I know a trans woman
who was in the same position who hitch-hiked across three states to get
proper help. If Myojine really wants transition enough then she needs to
stop feeling sorry for herself and take some action. Noone can help her
BUT herself - Sorry I know it sucks but sometimes reality really bites hard.

[Myojine]

That is a bit harsh Melody. One does not know the predicaments of the OP. Maybe all she needs is help, and has no idea how to approach the right avenues to get help. It is easy to say that some can get themselves out of predicaments that others consider easy, but for some, they may honestly have no idea on how to get help and this can lead to self harm and worst. Ease up please Melody.

She doenst understand the entire situation. no one here does.

I just contacted my mother that i havent seen in nearly 2 decades.

oh and melody, im not asking someone to rescue me, im asking for help. If i wasnt why would i be in a rehab? Why would i be trying to talk to a doctor/psychologist?
Why am i asking for housing assistance, and assitance with disability(since i have 3 conditions that fall under disability), why would i be trying to make things easier for me.... if i wasnt trying.

oh no but its MY FAULT, that i was born this way, its MY FAULT that the economy went bad, its MY FAULT i was discharged from the military because the predjudice is MY FAULT. Its MY FAULT that the state issued mental health care fell through and never assisted me. its MY FAULT that the case worker didnt show up on november 27th at 3:30PM as she promised. its entirely MY FAULT that all these factors that arent in my control went wrong.
not anyone elses fault... nope its mine.



i dont know what "reality" youre talking about, but im pretty sure i was talking about the real world in which i have to live everyday. where I dont ahve parents, family, friends, coworkers, or a significant other.
Where I was denied a military carreer because GOD FOR BID SOMEONES GAY/TRANS in the ****ing army, ohh boohoo he might look at my dick in the shower booohoo.

yeah its totally my fault.

unlike most people i can own up to my own faults and mistakes... thats why i dont complain about them. I know that im a video game addict and that it ****ed up my chance at a good education. oh im well aware of the shit i ****ed up, thats why i dont complain because it was my fault.
I wish everyone else would do so...


and yeah thats a great tatic too, patronized someone who is suicidal, because that always helps.

[jennCD]

I don't believe Melody was patronizing you... it's just that sometimes we find someone who needs either a serious and constructive discussion, a real good kick in the butt or well-placed slap in the face. I've read a number of your posts here and can understand you're not in a perfect situation... but I've also read a lot of good advice thrown your way, so the discussion is there if you want to go back and re-evaluate the advice.

If the best thing that you can figure out is to end your life, then I think you're taking a way too superficial approach to solving your problems.

Life is something you have to work on every day, every hour, every minute and every second and you know what? It's never all peaches and cream. It's up to you to decide how important YOU are to yourself.

I wish you enlightenment and a better tomorrow. It's all up to you.

:)
jenn

[Melody Moore]

There is another girl we all know on this forum who was a cutter once. I befriended this girl over a year ago
and at times she too has found it tough to handle my style of advice because I will tell people what they
need to hear, NOT what they want to hear. My friend even got that mad once she wrote a whole page
about me and how mean I was on her blog. So I said "Is that is how you are going to be? OK, goodbye".
And then I removed her from my Facebook friends. The funny thing was after a week or so the realisation
finally set in of what she just done, she apologised to me and has come to me for online support all the time
since then. Now she doesn't get upset if I give her that slap in the face, or kick in the butt, instead she
now really listens to my advice and has found love and happiness again through me. She needs less meds
and deals with her anxiety a lot better. So my methods can't be all that bad eh? ;)

[Momarie]

Myojine,

I am sorry you are in such pain.

You remind me of a small defenseless bear cub who is backed onto the edge of a cliff.
It's scared and confused and claws, bites and snarls at any hand that comes near.
Even those hands who only want to help rescue it before it falls in it's confusion and fear.

This wounded little cub has only two choices....to feel the harsh steady hand grab it and yank it back to safety or to come away from the edge on it's own.

p.s.
I think Melody was just being a Mama bear, a little rough but very protective.

[Traci Elizabeth]

You say the military screwed you over...huh?

Well, in case you are living in a cocoon, the military is taking back LGBT's who they discharged for being such. Unless that is, you got a Dishonorable Discharge for cause other than LGBT.

It seems to me that the military is where you need to be. You get structure, you don't have to think for yourself as the military will do your thinking for you, you get free food, shelter, clothes, medical care, and get paid in the process. Uncle Sam Wants You Back!!!!!!!!

[Myojine]

You say the military screwed you over...huh?
where did i say that?





i didnt.
read it again.

[Melody Moore]

I think Traci might have been talking about this thread:
So my military career is coming to an end, (very upset) (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?154959-So-my-military-career-is-coming-to-an-end-%28very-upset%29)

And it is NOT your fault you were born this way, but you have to be responsible how
you deal with it. And if I can transcend my issues, then I believe you can as well. This
was the exact words I told the other girl who was just like you 12 months ago. The only
difference is, she listens to my advice and acts on it now, where I have not seen one
single bit of effort by you to seek out a proper gender therapist and get help. And also
I am fully aware that the US military won't kick you out now if you are LGBT. So maybe
you should try and get back in, not unless there are other problems you are not telling
us about. And you are looking to be rescued when you are seeking help. Obviously the
help you want is no available the way you are choosing to deal with this. And this is
why I said earlier you might need to relocate to find the help you need or where you
can get rescued.

I too am a former soldier so this is why I can be a little tougher than most, I am
like your drill sergeant, I can be a hard arse, but the reason I am so hard is because
it may save your life! And the truth is, I love you to bits.

"If you think the enemy is going to give a damn about
your situation, then you rode the short bus to school".

So are you going to just quit and allow this to beat you?

If you do then noone can help you Myojine. So this is why I believe
its time to put your big girl panties on and work harder & deal with it.

[Michelle.M]

I hate to pile on, but Melody and the others are quite right. Myojine, you need to buck up, Soldier, and put your big girl panties on and start getting through life and quit being such a whining victim.

There is no doubt that life is tougher for a TS than for a cisgendered person. So, start finding the resources you need to get through life successfully and JUST DO IT!

Are you seeing a therapist? Don't answer, it's obvious you are not. Can't afford one? Check in with your local LGBT center and find one who works on a sliding scale. At least find a support group. A local church here in my military town has an active trans support group, and it costs nothing.

You say you are seeking help? Doesn't make much difference if you seek help in the wrong place. The ER is not the place for that, and doing something drastic to arrive there is not the path you want to take. The ER will deal with your physical emergency, not your gender crisis.

This is not Halloween. You don't get a big bag of hormones simply by walking up to medical providers and saying "Trick-or-Treat". There is a way to make this happen, and I know you've been a member of this forum long enough to have read plenty of good advice on how to get from Point A to Point B. Honey, you need to start taking some of that advice or you will end up doing something terminal, and nobody will have earned the blame for that but you.


. . . the military is taking back LGBT's who they discharged for being such. . . Uncle Sam Wants You Back!!!!!!!!

Traci, your heart's in the right place but that's not quite good advice. I can't really blame you as there are few civilians who are up to date on transgender issues as they relate to military service. Yes, the military now has no problem with Ls, Gs and Bs, and many who were previously discharged are seeking reinstatement, but as of today there is simply no place in the military for transgender service members. The repeal of DADT does not provide any TS protection whatsoever.

And Myojine, I specifically told you that personally! I warned you not to out yourself unless you were ready to be discharged, as it would bring your career to a sudden end. The military didn't screw you, you screwed yourself.


. . . Unless that is, you got a Dishonorable Discharge for cause other than LGBT.

It seems to me that the military is where you need to be. You get structure, you don't have to think for yourself as the military will do your thinking for you, you get free food, shelter, clothes, medical care, and get paid in the process.

And that's very good advice. If the nature of your discharge was something other than being trans, or if you did not do something really stupid by letting your personal anxiety make you go haywire (I'm guessing that you did, as I have seen that happen way too many times in my decades of military service) then you might have an opportunity to get some stability back into your life.

I know whereof I speak. I am completing a 35 year military career, and my decision to retire is based on my timeline for transition. I can no longer serve honorably and respect my own gender identity. But I have served quite honorably up to now and will continue to do so until I say good-bye to my fellow Soldiers on my last day in uniform. The very next day will be the first day of my RLE.

For now the Army is a lifeline. I am earning the money I need for therapy, hormones, electrolysis and a new wardrobe. It gives me time to readjust my life and tackle transition issues effectively before I have to jump in and sink or swim.

Myojine, remember when you were learning how to use camouflage and the cover of darkness to move undetected? These things are your friends, and the Army is the same way. It is not a hindrance, it gives me a place to live concealed until I am ready to make my assault on life. You had great cover and concealment and you blew it.

All is not hopeless as you want us to believe. Quit this nonsense. Start asking the right questions and listen to the good advice you are being given. Make a plan for your transition and start finding the resources (people, things and professional help) that can take you there, and then get busy.

It's your life. We can't be any more interested in your own well-being than you are.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Myojine,

I know things seem very up and down righ now, since you are ex military, i belive you qualify for VA benefits, Can you make an appointment to see a va counselor ? or possibly get into group therapy ? there are a lot of meds you can take once you see a doctor that help with anxiety,depression,ptsd, and the counceling may help, getting togeather with others to just talk and get things out. I understand that you are requsting things from your dr's and not getting what you think you need. remeber doctors may want to stabalize the ups and dows you are experiencing first.

you do have friends here, who want the best for you, some are a little more brusque then others. in the end we want you to be heathy and to find inner peace. building friendships takes a lot of give and take. be patient with people and build relationships with people who can be patient with you. you are not alone in what you are dealing with.

Huggs Kelly.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Just because you posed this here tells me you wish to resolve these issues.

I played the victim card.

If I played it to the end I'd be dead.

My gun collection backs that statement up.

You don't need God to tell you that your outbursts are destructive.

Perhaps not destructive so much to yourself but others around you.

I can see it now, you attempt another suicide move only to be saved at the last moment and the sickness continues unabated.

Do you know what you need?

You need to be taken and locked in a confined area where mental health professionals will rework your method of dealing with lifes problems.

Deal with life or die.

The choices are many on both sides of that coin Ms. Victim.

What's it going to be? Life or death?


Julia

[Kelly DeWinter]

Julia and anyone else.

People who comtemplate suicide need HELP, they do NOT need to be goaded with statements like "Deal with life or die." It is wrong and immoral to suggest such a course of action. PLEASE CEASE, it does not help anyone it is immoral and illegal to suggest such action. Sometimes people have issues in their live and vent their frustarations on forums, why continue to stir the pot ? I would ask if you don't agree with th OP then just stop posting. This thread has taken a chilling turn, and I pray the OP does not do anything rash.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Kelly,

Trust me when I say I've been the closest to death by my own hand than anyone here including the person who Is being addressed by this thread.

She wrote the thread so I responded.

I will not coddle.

The last thing this person needs is " I'll pray for you" or " I feel your pain"

What this person does need is a slap in the face and a kick in the ass to wake her the hell up.

Either she moves forward or she rots.

It is purely her decision just like it was mine to do the exact same thing.

Life is tough she has to be tougher to get through it.



Julia





Julia and anyone else.

People who comtemplate suicide need HELP, they do NOT need to be goaded with statements like "Deal with life or die." It is wrong and immoral to suggest such a course of action. PLEASE CEASE, it does not help anyone it is immoral and illegal to suggest such action. Sometimes people have issues in their live and vent their frustarations on forums, why continue to stir the pot ? I would ask if you don't agree with th OP then just stop posting. This thread has taken a chilling turn, and I pray the OP does not do anything rash.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Kelly,

Trust me when I say I've been the closest to death by my own hand than anyone here including the person who Is being addressed by this thread.
what a bunch of horse hooey, you do not know the personal situations of everyone here, therfore you can only express what is appropriate to you.

She wrote the thread so I responded.
Not all theads need the intense heavy handedness you normaly show.

I will not coddle.
Try compassion,understanding,empathy,kindness, or any other non destructive action then.

The last thing this person needs is " I'll pray for you" or " I feel your pain"
That is not true, in written communication that is often the best thing to say, writing what you wrote gives a person who may be emotionaly stressed something to go back to a nd read and dwell on.

What this person does need is a slap in the face and a kick in the ass to wake her the hell up.
thats called assault in any country, and makes it obvious that you have not been around people who deal with this kind of situation on a regular basis.

Either she moves forward or she rots.
what branch of humainity call for this kind of talk ?

It is purely her decision just like it was mine to do the exact same thing.
What worked for you may not work for her.

Life is tough she has to be tougher to get through it.
Life is NOT tough, life is actually pretty good, every day you have to wake up and make a choice if you are going to be happy in your current condition. Every day you have the same 24 hours that everyone else does, what you choose to do determines what value physicly,emotionaly and spirtitually you get out of the day.



Julia

I never have a problem with people having their say, but I do object at times when what they say is not appopriate. Before you fling off another half thought out response, take some time to consider what im saying, and try to rally around the OP who is obviously crying out for help.

Kelly

PS> I am more then willing to chat with you via PM and just so you understand, I do respect WHAT you have overcome in your life and find that at times what you say has great value, but at times HOW you say it is very disturbing.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Kelly,


Life for the most part is pain punctuated by bouts of crises.

How one deals with it ultimately determines ones success in wading through it.

It is now considered a myth that suicidal people talk about their forthcoming demise immediately prior to death.

This person is in the hospital and is obviously mentally unstable. I've been there, I know.

There isn't anything this person can tell me that I haven't been through or experienced myself.

You need help Myojine. Go get it!! Your right there! Your being visited by mental health professionals so talk to them!!!!!

Stop complaining and start doing for yourself.

Trust me when I say that you will be one to choose to live or die.

Not me, not the mental health professionals but YOU!!

Death is as simple and as around the corner as you want to make it lady.

I know you dont want that because your in the hospital.

So here's what you do!

Talk to these people, I did and it actually works.

Actually take your mood stabilizers despite what you have heard or read to the contrary.

Follow up with aftercare!!

Don't be a CANDY ASS ABOUT THIS!

Stop whining about it and move forward!!

It takes someone that has experienced the same thing and worse to be tough with you.

That person is me.

Now it's up to you.

Stop the garbage and use the tools given to you to heal.



Julia

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Myojine my heart goes out to you and your situation. It is not easy by any means especially when you feel that the only end to how bad you feel is to take your own life. When hopelessness takes us to the darkest place possible and you feel there is nowhere to turn, there is always a better solution than suicide. I know I have been there and the battle with in, because of what society put on us to be and what they expect. I ask that you just stop for a few minutes and breath. We all have a purpose in being who we are and what our life will be. I decisions just don't effect us but those who know us and those we have not met yet. How we handle the good and bad that come from our decisions is what makes us who we are. Know that no matter what you are loved and thought about every second of everyday even if you do not see them. Stay focused on the tomorrow even if today is bad. I wish you the best and I will be looking forward to here of your future plans and thoughts.

BIG LONG HUG for YOU MYOJINE!

[Traci Elizabeth]

I

Traci, your heart's in the right place but that's not quite good advice. I can't really blame you as there are few civilians who are up to date on transgender issues as they relate to military service. Yes, the military now has no problem with Ls, Gs and Bs, and many who were previously discharged are seeking reinstatement, but as of today there is simply no place in the military for transgender service members. The repeal of DADT does not provide any TS protection whatsoever.

I know whereof I speak. I am completing a 35 year military career....



35 years huh and there are "few civilians who are up to date....? Of really..well sir I am a retired full bird 06 and you were what?

I know exactly what I am talking about when it comes to military. But I am amazed at your claim of serving 35 years. Unless you were of the General Staff and received a Political Appointment then your story seems very far fetched.

If you are of the officer corp. and Reserve Appointed then you can only serve 20 years max. If you were offered a Regular Commission when extending your first commitment then you could go 25 years. Other than that, to get to your number takes a presidential appointment.

However, I know high ranking friends in the Department of Air Force through my military career who would say that your proclamation about current military policy relating to the LGBT military community is baseless.

I would suggest you get your facts straight. I gave the OP a viable solution that would be of great benefit to her. Because despite popular opinion, the military is working these issues head on.

[Michelle.M]

Traci, do you really want to quibble about this and hijack the thread? And do I really need to submit my resume to you? Please.


. . . then you can only serve 20 years max.

Come on, now! You know better than that! 20 years commissioned service or up to MRD (whichever comes first), it would be longer than 20 if there is prior enlisted time. I would hit MRD and 20 years about the same time.


I would suggest you get your facts straight. I gave the OP a viable solution that would be of great benefit to her. Because despite popular opinion, the military is working these issues head on.

I agree that the military is working the issue, but unfortunately far too slowly to be of any use to Myojine. As of today it is simply not a viable option. Check with your active duty friends. And perhaps the Air Force is moving along faster than the other services, but Myojine is ARNG. Sorry. AR 40-501 says no transsexuals. And what I can glean from NAVMED manuals and the similar Air Force regs (both of which I have recently read) it's the same thing with Air Force and Navy / Marines / Coast Guard.


..well sir I am a retired full bird 06 and you were what?

Well, since you asked, I am someone who has enough respect for others to address them with the appropriate pronoun.

Now let's get back on topic.

[Melody Moore]

Come on girls, please stop with the "I've got bigger muscles than you" boyish crap.

And Kelly, I might be come off and sound a bit harsh in my reply to Myojine, but I am not stupid.
Just because someone is dishing out a bit of tough love it doesn't mean they are not compassionate.

I too was once on that merry-go-round ride with a life full of drama and I am the first to admit I
was a very bad attention seeker once upon a time. And you know what snapped me out of it?

Personally I believe that was the realisation that people were not going to miss me if I did go and
kill myself. My own mother told me many years ago to just go and kill myself & get it over & stop
putting everyone else through hell over my issues.

And for this reason I can relate to why Myojine's housemate kicked her out because she was going
to hang herself. In fact I got kicked out of a place where I was living many years ago after a suicide
attempt. Other people don't have to deal with your dramas & issues if they choose not to. And despite
the fact it made me feel worse, it actually made me stronger and I got to a better place to help me
transcend the suicidal thoughts.

The way I see this is Myojine has one of two choices that she can make, she can either deal with it,
or she can die. And please don't misinterpret my statement here because it is Myojine herself that
has made it very clear to me that these are her only two options left in her life. Myojine says that
she wants help, but it is blaringly obvious to me that she is NOT getting the help she needs. And I
don't think that throwing a tantrum in the mental ward is going to get her the help that she needs.

And this isn't the first time we have been here talking about this issue, Myojine even admitted this
has happened 4 times now. So in my honest opinion she is NOT going to find the help she needs going
about things this way & this is why it is time for a completely different approach to this problem.

If you look very closely I even asked Myojine to Private message me about this matter, because I might
be able to put her in touch with other transsexuals who live in her region through my large TS network,
but I am still waiting for that message to show up in my inbox. So now I am questing if she really does
want help or if she just likes all the drama and attention that we are now giving her here.

Myojine has to stop playing the victim if she is to be successful in life. The world is a cruel place to live,
the people are cruel and life's circumstances can be very cruel. How do you think I feel being intersex eh?
But I am not sitting here wallowing in self-pity and feeling sorry for myself about it & my life was a mess.

I am a suicide survivor and have survived two very lethal doses of medication which actually killed me twice.
But I didn't survive just because of the other people who got me to hospital and who had expert training to
revive me. I believe that I only survived because I stopped feeling sorry for myself & decided I was going to
be a survivor and not a victim. So I started to deal with my problems differently by developing some skills to
help me transcend my issues.

When I decided last year I was going to transition, I went to a doctor who was going to refer me to
a gender clinic which is well over a 20 hour drive down south to my state capital, Brisbane because
he did not know what help was available locally through the Cairns Sexual Health Service. Fortunately
I found out about these local services before that happened. However if the help & support I needed
was not available here in Cairns, I was prepared to travel down to Brisbane to get that help. I also know
a trans woman in the US that hitch-hiked across 3 states to get the help she needed. And this is why I
said earlier, if there is no hope of being rescued where you are now, then you might need to rescue yourself
or get to a place where you can be rescued or get that help that you are looking for. And this is what Myojine
might have to do.

Also the people who say "I will pray for you" or "I feel your pain" are doing nothing whatsoever to help Myojine
out of her dilemma, I honestly believe statements like this only compound issues and give the victim more reason
to wallow in self pity. What amazes me here if people are as compassionate as they say they are, then who here
has offered Myojine a place to stay and help getting to a gender therapist hmmmm?

Recently I have been counselling a suicidal trans woman who I have known or a long time now through another TS
network, she is also a sex worker down in Sydney, but she has ended up that low because the child support agency
is taking way too much money from her in her regular job as a sexual health nurse that she has had to work the streets
in order to survive. However work has been slow and she is barely able to make ends meet. A bit over a week ago she
was in the exact same situation as Myojine and seen no other way out of her problems, that was until I invited her to
come up here and stay with me until she got on her feet. I told her she could even have my bed and I would sleep on
the couch. However that is not really an option for her because then she would not get to see her kids, but it has helped
her to know that she has other options available to her if she has difficulties coping where she is. Other trans friends of
mine who live in Sydney are also now supporting her. So there is help everywhere if you are really willing to go out and
look for it. But I don't believe that Myojine is trying hard enough, if she was, then why hasn't she messaged me yet? I
am sure once I do find out more about her and where she lives, then hopefully I can offer other alternatives for support.

Now to wrap this up, I refer you back to Myojine's original statement...


im done, i really am this time. if they cant help me here, or to some effect of hormones or... referals or something. as soon as im discharged im gonna do something again to end up in the ER or even better, the morgue. because im ****ing sick of this shit.My first thoughts when I read this post was that I was reminded when I found out that emotional blackmail
never works with most people, especially mental health staff. Most people will become stubborn if someone
else tries to put them on a guilt trip. Initially they feel sorry for the person, but eventually they get sick of it.

I see statements like this very counter-productive to Myojine's cause. So I ask all of you, do you believe that
Myojine is going about this the right way? Or do you believe that she could be doing a lot more to help herself?

[Sharon]

Two things..., well, three actually:

1 -- Let's please do our best to remain on topic here. The thread should involve only Myojine's post, everything else is superfluous and insulting. Arguing about whose replies are appropriate or not appropriate should be settled by private messaging and how the heck did we veer off onto this military pissing contest?

2 -- Tough love can also be an acceptable manner of replying to a poster, especially if there is a familiar posting history involved. The member who is being assaulted for her tough love response has a posting history with Myojine and she initially used "less tough" approaches in her responses to previous threads. Other members presumably have no knowledge of this or else they would realize that a cold slap of reality sometimes has its place.

3, and most importantly -- Myojine, I haven't the answers for you as I have never dealt with your issues. I did have my own issues, however, and it was through heart-to-heart discussions with a couple of honest dear friends and several sessions with a good therapist that I began to find my way. I also had anger issues at one time as a consequence of my chronic battles with depression and though I always blamed myself rather than others for every obstacle I faced, there are those out there who are much more capable of helping you than most people on an anonymous and faceless forum. Please, stop fighting with those who only want to help you. If you feel your doctors aren't helping you, keep looking until you find the right ones. :hugs:

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Thanks Sharon I will just shut up and suggest nothing anymore. Melody I see, sorry.