Saw a fellow cder yesterday

[AddyCD]

I work at a bookstore part time and I worked yesterday. I was walking toward the front of the store and greeting customers (good customer service, right?) and I noticed a fellow cd/tg. I said hello and how are you to her. She returned a smile and met my eye. I didn't get a chance to talk to her after that. I wish I had but didn't see her again. I should note I work in drab and don't dress at work.
During the rest of my shift I kept an ear out for any fellow co-workers making comments about her. I didn't hear a single thing. Either the people I work with don't care or they didn't see her.
So, if you are a blond cder in CT and were in a bookstore yesterday shoot me an email. I would love to chat!

[JoyceJ]

That's awesome! I'm sure even just a smile and eye contact did a lot for her confidence. I know it would for me. You go girls!

[RenneB]

I suppose I wouldn't know what to do if I was out en fem and shopping and a fellow CDr en male mode came up to me. What is the "right" thing to say? Do we have a secret handshake...not that I know of. I suppose I'd just be happy if they came up and said "may I help you Ma'am?" and that's it I guess....

Now suppose that you are en male mode and go up to someone that you think looks like a CDr and say, I really like how you portray being a woman. But she is really just a GG on a really bad day... Then what??? We need to come up with something.... I just don't know what..

I guess that comes from being in the closet all these years. I just don't know what to say or do in the real world...

Renne.....

[DonnaT]

You could always complement them on something they are wearing, and finish with, I wish I could wear something like that.

[Sheren Kelly]

I agree with Donna. A kind word and smile is all that is required when meeting a T person. He or She will have the next move.
I think you did just great AJ

[Cheryl T]

I'd be a bit taken back if someone in male mode approached me to see if I was what he thought I was and if I was like him, but not the way he was now, but the way he would like to be but isn't, but I am....LOL.....

Just say "Can I help you Ma'am" and be kind. We would appreciate that and not be shocked.
Now....if you're dressed and out and see someone...then maybe a comment on their outfit, shoes, bag...what ever might be a good way to start things off.

It's really touchy if you say something...and they do turn out to be GG. I goofed with my wig stylist...she's gg and she was trimming my wig (on me) and I commented asking if she was pregnant....OOOOPS....she wasn't. Big Red Face for me....

[SarahLynn]

Regardless of what you say be sure to compliment her/him on something. I like the colour/style of your hair. I like the outfit you are wearing. Gee those are great looking shoes. Say something which is a compliment and then allow her/him to respond. But don't ignore them unless you are a truck driver in a truckstop and you are going to your bunk for 10 hours of much needed sleep. It's allowed then because by then you are so tired/zoned you don't/wouldn't notice blond from black, it's all a blur.

SarahLynn

[sierra_cd]

I live in Montana and have never seen another CD (that I know of) in my life. I would love to see, and be inspired, by others ladies like me. Cool that no co-workers were being outwardly negative.

[Melody1985]

I would have probably just said hello initially as well. Mainly because, unless she was was completely obvious, I would have been too worried that she turned out to be a GG.. (no disrespect, but I've seen some manly looking GGs). So yeah, that would be awkward, and if she told, it would probably be my last day at work..

With that said, I would definitely compliment her on any and everything I could find!!

[Barbara Ella]

Can CD ers spot fellow CDers easier than the normal public? Maybe, but in public, whether CD or not, an attractive girl deserves a kind hello, how are you, and may I help you. If and when I get out en femme, i am not sure I want to be standing with a "dude" discussing my outfit in front of the public (OK... if we could get out of public site I would love it..) Do any GG have comments on males making comments on clothing makeup, etc. I am glad co workers had no comments, and that is what we are about. Let us out and let us be.

Babes

[eluuzion]

:heehee::D:heehee:

Every time I read a post like this it makes me think of all those evenings I spent with my young daughter, engaged in our favorite activity... Trying to find the images in those 'Highlights Magazine" hidden image pictures, or "Where's Waldo". :heehee:

:hugs:

:love:

[Annie M]

A couple of months ago I noticed one of the men where I work was wearing a bra. I dont think he realized he had a momentary wardrobe malfunction when he took off his jacket. He quickly recovered but being that I often under dress too, I noticed right away. I have wanted to say something but I figured its better left alone given the circumstance.

[Jynx]

Like 3 years ago, I went to my sociology professor asking for some document and before we talk, he asked me "are you a 'he' or 'she' "? I was shocked, because I'm in no way of wearing any kind of female clothes, it's just a pink color T-shirt and a little bit medium length hair.

[Rachel Flowers]

If a sister is out en femme the last thing she wants is to be publicly outed, she wants to be complimented. Remember all the stories here about how nervous many are, or about how delighted they are when an SA calls them "ma'am" !

Your bookstore customer could be warmly recalling the experience or could be dreading coming back in case that bloke tries to hit on her again! Just to be clear, I know that's not what you were doing, but our intentions and people interpretations often differ wildly, don't they?
It seems to me the secret handshake should be: good day, ma'am, that's a lovely X; I think it really suits your Y. Followed by an optional I'd love to wear one of those. The end. The point of a secret handshake is to disclose yourself, not to force disclosure on another.

[Paula_56]

Could it be Stana?

http://www.femulate.org/

[kelsey52]

Ok how about this if you see a another CDer would saying hi sister work or or hi fellow sis.

[Kaz]

It strikes me that Adrienne did great customer service whilst 'clocking' a sister without pushing any boundaries. If I am out en drab and underdressed and someone clocks me I will feel grateful for realising that I failed to pull it off but also profoundly embarrassed! If I was en femme and called to account I would die!

Well done Adrienne... good call!

[Rachel Flowers]

if you see a another CDer would saying hi sister work

I udnerstand this temptation, but while it partly springs from delight at finding another like yourself, it's also partly feeling clever for having spotted someone and wanting to confirm it. I think that would actually be dangerous for you and embarrassing for her. Out yourself if you wish but follow the same rules the SAs have and accept someone as whatever they're presenting. That's basic good manners. If she wants to reciprocate by confirming your suspicions, go grab a coffee and plan a shopping trip together but please, no-one wants to be publicly confronted and challenged. If you're a CD, then neither a GG nor a TS will necessarily see you as a "sister".

[Kaz]

I udnerstand this temptation, but while it partly springs from delight at finding another like yourself, it's also partly feeling clever for having spotted someone and wanting to confirm it. I think that would actually be dangerous for you and embarrassing for her. Out yourself if you wish but follow the same rules the SAs have and accept someone as whatever they're presenting. That's basic good manners. If she wants to reciprocate by confirming your suspicions, go grab a coffee and plan a shopping trip together but please, no-one wants to be publicly confronted and challenged. If you're a CD, then neither a GG nor a TS will necessarily see you as a "sister".

Rachel, good point. When I referred to 'sister' I meant 'like mind' possibly 'another CD'. This does raise an issue... if the person in question is not a CD and could be GG or TS... then any approach would be a disaster! Hence... don't do it! As I said, I think Adrienne played it well.

[Rachel Flowers]

Hi Kaz, I was replying to Kelsey52's suggestion to approach and confront suspected "sisters". Absolutely no way, as you say. I agree Adrienne's hadnling was sensitive and appropriate.

[OKPink]

Annie- it was probably his "shoulder holster"....

[stacie]

It could of just been an ugly woman and not a CD. Truth is no matter how hard you try to blend in people know who you are. Most just don't care, but some will try to snap a picture of you. Just think of it as being someone famous and have fun.

[AddyCD]

Could it be Stana?

http://www.femulate.org/

No, it wasn't Stana. I read her blog and I can safely say it wasn't her!

[AddyCD]

I am glad you thought my handling was appropriate. I have read enough of the posts on this site about how we should approach a fellow cd we see in the wild. I figured I wouldn't want to "call" them out (on the off chance it wasn't a cd) so I just figured I would treat them as I would any other customer. I would say hello, maybe ask how they are or how if they need help finding anything.
I thought it was great to see another cder out and about. She looked good and I hope she appreciated how I treated her in the store.
Thanks all! I guess I will continue to help the customers the same way...