“But I was a better man with you, as a woman than I ever was with a woman, as a man"

[Claire Cook]

This of course is the famous tagline from Tootsie. I think of it because of some of the recent threads we’ve had about “being a woman”, or “feeling like a woman”. What I have found is that the more I embrace my whole self (and being out and about more), the more I find that I am sensitive to what others are thinking and doing – especially females. And not just when I am dressed. I notice more what women are wearing, and more often will tell them so. I’m not as uptight, and want to express myself and my emotions more. And I tend to listen to others more. Yes, I’m a better person for it. (But I still don’t ask for directions enough when I’m not dressed!)

How many of the rest of you have found this?

[Jonianne]

Claire, rather than the crossdressing, itself, I think what has made me a better person has been learning how to be more honest with myself and open and honest with others. Crossdressing has just been the vehicle that has helped me get there.

As I have come to self-acceptance and been able to share this part of my life with most everybody that knows me, I have been able to really connect, especially with many of the females I am close to. Even though it didn't work out, recently when I shared that I was a cd'er with church leaders at a church I wanted to join, what I discovered was I was able to explain and defend myself as a crossdresser without any shame or guilt or fear at all. Just like it was (and is) a normal part of who I am.

Once a person aquires a healthy sense of self and has wonderful self-acceptance, then that treasured gift of acceptance can be given to others. And I think that is what helps build relationships in a most meaningful way.

[Cherry Lynn]

(But I still don’t ask for directions enough when I’m not dressed!) Posted by Claire.

I have always asked directions whether dressed or not. My ex-wife must have been FtM because she hated to ask directions and if we were together and I suggested asking directions she would blow up.

[Elizabeth Ann]

It is hard to say which way the causality runs, it there is any causality at all. I am not sure, but I suspect that being a more empathetic person may have enabled my crossdressing in some way.


(But I still don’t ask for directions enough when I’m not dressed!) Posted by Claire.

I have always asked directions whether dressed or not. My ex-wife must have been FtM because she hated to ask directions and if we were together and I suggested asking directions she would blow up.

Can't resist a corny old joke: Why does it take 1,000,000 sperm and one egg to make a baby? Because the sperm refuse to ask for directions.

Liz

[S. Lisa Smith]

I feel the same way you do. My femaleness is bleeding over to my male side, not a bad thing either...

[Cherry Lynn]

It is hard to say which way the causality runs, it there is any causality at all. I am not sure, but I suspect that being a more empathetic person may have enabled my crossdressing in some way.



Can't resist a corny old joke: Why does it take 1,000,000 sperm and one egg to make a baby? Because the sperm refuse to ask for directions.

Liz

That is a good one Liz.

[CarlaWestin]

I think what has made me a better person has been learning how to be more honest with myself and open and honest with others. Crossdressing has just been the vehicle that has helped me get there.

Once a person aquires a healthy sense of self and has wonderful self-acceptance, then that treasured gift of acceptance can be given to others. And I think that is what helps build relationships in a most meaningful way.

I so agree. I've always practiced being 100% truthful because the truth is easy to remember. The paradox of the secret crossdressing life I kept hidden was the only thing I did on the sly and I was growing very tired of the cover up. So, eight months ago, I told my Wife. It's been a bumpy ride at times but, we're still together just as strong as ever. I didn't do the pink fog routine but now all of my clothes are in drawers and on hangers where they belong. I'm sure a lot of my former puzzling behavior now has some satisfying explanation and I can honestly say, I'm 100% truthful with everything I say and do. And that is so good for the soul.

[GBJoker]

I notice some of those things, even though I've never dressed out in public. Definitely an easier time talking to random people, like people in my classes that I just happen to have to do a presentation of chapter X on (of course, it helps that all three are GGs). I also notice that I'm FINALLY being comfortable with expressing some emotions. Whether this makes me a better person or not, has yet to be seen.

I don't notice any difference in the listening aspect though. When in F mode I guess I listen to be nice and to keep with the conversation, in M mode I listen because my mentality is "all information is good, get it whenever you can." Of course, the hearing impairment in both modes makes me listen more than most people anyways.

[Barbara Ella]

I truly feel that the recognition of my true self has opened avenues of expression and development that were blocked (either on purpose or subconsciously). In my short liberation I have noticed changes/improvements in my male behavior and attitude. Can't explain it, but I do believe there is a connection with my finally realizing who I am, and what I do, and want to do. I am becoming a better overall person knowing who I am in total. As they say, the truth shall set you free.

Babes

[Claire Cook]

Claire, rather than the crossdressing, itself, I think what has made me a better person has been learning how to be more honest with myself and open and honest with others. Crossdressing has just been the vehicle that has helped me get there.

Once a person aquires a healthy sense of self and has wonderful self-acceptance, then that treasured gift of acceptance can be given to others. And I think that is what helps build relationships in a most meaningful way.


It is hard to say which way the causality runs, it there is any causality at all. I am not sure, but I suspect that being a more empathetic person may have enabled my crossdressing in some way.

Liz


I truly feel that the recognition of my true self has opened avenues of expression and development that were blocked (either on purpose or subconsciously). In my short liberation I have noticed changes/improvements in my male behavior and attitude. Can't explain it, but I do believe there is a connection with my finally realizing who I am, and what I do, and want to do. I am becoming a better overall person knowing who I am in total. As they say, the truth shall set you free.

Babes

Thanks for these comments. Yes, I'd agree that it's about really discovering who we are. For years, before CD'ing became such a part of my life, my wife always called me "Sweet One". She picked up on aspects of my personality that I wasn't aware of. As Babes said, maybe I was consciuously or unconsciously trying to repress these things, trying to maintain that male personna. Whatever, I'm glad others have had the same experience.

And Liz, I'd forgotten that old sperm-egg joke -- thanks for the giiggle time! :heehee: