Admirers

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've posted a thread about "a different kind of GG" and another one about whether "Most GMs would crossdress if given the opportunity.

What about another kind of GM: admirers? By this I mean GMs, who may be straight of gay who seem to gravitate more to CDs and MtF TSs.

As a straight CD, I try to avoid them, but they are out there.

I think your typical macho male would not be looking for any kind of hookup with CDs or TSs. It could be seen as diminishing his maleness,

What do you make of these GM admirers?

[christina s]

I don't think macho really doesn't play a factor for admirers . I think a large part of them are just bisexual or gay looking for an excuse to experiment , so they look for Tss or cds.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Concerning Male Admirer's Use them then dump them just as they will use you.

Trust me on this.

Admirer's are good for only two things;

1. Sex
2. Money

One of the biggest scores from one of these idiot's was his ex wife's Rolex.

I sold it and bought a decent used car.


Julia

[Tara Twolane]

I can only speak for myself Steffi, but as a bisexual CD, I had a GM lover for several years. He played golf, loved his Miami Dolphins and drank beer like a sailor on leave. His maleness was never in question.

[Melody1985]

I don't know if there is a right answer for this, but...

Men tend to think and feel with their eyes first.. So if the face looks like a girl, the body resembles a girl, and she is attractive to him, then his blood will rush to his man parts, and then that thing will take over the thinking process, and some guys will overlook the extra part once a certain level of horniness takes over.. This could lead to a new admirer of TGs.

Now, for those who seem to be naturally drawn to TGs are just flat out bisexual or gay.

But either way, it's the best if both worlds so to speak for admirers in my opinion.

[christina s]

You're cold blooded Julia ... i love it lol

[April_Ligeia]

Concerning Male Admirer's Use them then dump them just as they will use you.

Trust me on this.

Admirer's are good for only two things;

1. Sex
2. Money

One of the biggest scores from one of these idiot's was his ex wife's Rolex.

I sold it and bought a decent used car.


Julia


Julia, you are incredibly wise. This is the best advice I've read here!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you Christina. :O)




You're cold blooded Julia ... i love it lol

Just trying to be of service my dear woman. :O)



Julia, you are incredibly wise. This is the best advice I've read here!

[KellyJameson]

In general I have to agree with Julia. I have never allowed myself to be used for sex and I have never used another but always sought a relationship built on more meaningful reasons with intimacy deepening the love and respect that already existed.

I do not feel anger toward men who are in the grip of their sexual appetites but I treat them with caution because I know I'm dealing with a force of nature that can be very destructive to all parties involved.

Do not confuse sexual desire with love, this is a deadly mistake and in the end you will be alone and feeling worthless. It is very difficult for a man who see's other human beings primarily as vessels for his pleasure to be able to form lasting relations with others. Addiction leaves no room for love and sex is probably the most addictive drug of them all.

One of the aspects of femininity is attracting others, it is a form of magnetism built on physical beauty but with many other aspects. Fluid movements (graceful), receptive,open,nurturing,empathy, ect.. and if you have this naturally than you will attract it's opposite along with its corresponding male sexual energy expressed as a form of hunger. Be careful how you use your feminine gifts because they can destroy you just as easily as masculine gifts can destroy but for different reasons.

[GBJoker]

What about admirers who are also TG's?

But to stay on topic... I don't think I'd have a problem with them. I think I've gotten good enough at reading facial expressions and gestures to know what people want or think. I believe I'll have an easy time avoiding them.

Besides, it's just one of those inevitable things. There will always be TG admirers, and there will always be TG's who will go with them (Most likely, not on this site). Simple supply/demand.

[Josie M]

Besides Crossdressers.com, I also maintain an identity on Google+.....I often get a lot of unsolicited follows from men I don't know and, honestly, it creeps me out. Generally, I just block them.

On the other hand, when I was younger and went out I'd sometimes have a guy flirt with me and, although I'm not really into guys...I did appreciate the validation and chose to take it as a compliment. (might not be going to the party but you can at least appreciate the invitation, right? ;) )

[ReineD]

What do you make of these GM admirers?

I always thought Alice (Richard) Novic, author of "Alice in Genderland", had a good handle on it. She's in an open marriage and has been in a long term relationship with a male lover, one night per week. She believes that admirers aren't "especially happening men" and they may also be in denial over their own desires to crossdress.

http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html



Each admirer is a bird unable to fly. Maybe he’s flown before? Maybe he’ll develop tail feathers of his own and shake them around in style in the future? But for now he’s limited by something. And that same thing that keeps him from being a terribly happening woman may be what’s keeping him from being an especially happening man.

That’s why admirers tend to be a heavier and older bunch of men. It would make sense if they were also taller, though I haven’t seen that near as much as I’d like. Some may have their wings clipped by lack of a steady job, car, or apartment. Many are married and unable to get out except under the rarest of circumstances. Some may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic tradition.

But the problem for a man-loving TG like me is that once one of these fellows shakes off his shackles and sheds some pounds he may not emerge as a hot, happening man on the scene; he may just show up next week in a dress. “Darn,” I’ve often complained, “the best men here tonight are women.”

[Vickie_CDTV]

Sometimes admirers are TV/TS themselves and are in denial. I have known a few trans who started out as admirers and eventually started dressing or even went on to be TS.

[Momarie]

juliainpa

Do all your "admirers" go by the name of Johns?

[Jorja]

While some admirers are quite creepy, others are not. Just like any other person, you need learn to be a good judge of character. I have spent time with a few admirers who were perfectly wonderful. I do agree that some of them may not be "especially happening men" but others are and could easily have their pick. I would also agree that many of them may be bisexual or gay. Whatever the case, I am glad I met them and got to know them.

[eluuzion]

I think that many of the guys that seem "creepy", are probably just socially impaired "Casper Milktoast" characters overcompensating for their shyness and alienation by acting out their fantasies of being a "player"...while hiding behind the anonymous curtain of the internet. Back in my more "adventurous" days when I had profiles and images on some questionable sites...I was deluged with pms/emails,pics and bizarre versions of "dating" invitations, lol.

Hey," it is what it is..." You just have to dodge the bullets in life. It is not much different than the bar arena circuit. I also think the anonymous format of the internet gives many "admirers" the same teen-age "courage" that junior high school boys experience when they are making that first attempt at expressing interest in girls...You know...where you anonymously call that hottie that is in your homeroom class (that is oblivious to your existence) on a Friday night with that disguised voice... But when she answers...you suddenly get this urge to spew out some really freaky comment...and just hang up :heehee:

Yea...there are still a few out there...only they are about 50 years old now, :D.

But in fairness to the well mannered reporters working at great metropolitan newspapers...that simply have a genuine interest in CD/TS...who are we to be pointed fingers at others?...:D Heck for some here on the forum, one of those guys might end up becoming the "Superman" they seem to be searching for...although if I was so inclined...I would still have my reservations about any guy that wears his underwear on the outside of his tights!
But that is just me...lol

Life is interesting...eh? As long as they don't have a knife or gun in their sock...I'm good with it...

:love:

[Veronica Lodge]

I have had mixed results with admirers. I totally stay away from the alleged straight males and young guys hoping too live out their ******* porn fantasy. I find them pretty rude and there is always a hint of menace when they contact you. There's so many kooks out there that you really have to be careful.

The somewhat submissive schmoe is more my speed. They are easier too handle and easy to get rid of.

[Karren H]

Everyone likes to be admired.... Don't they? I've had lunch with one... Twice... And breakfast once.... Was not your true or typical "admirer" situation.. He was a married ex-cd... Who lived on the east coast. But his father still lived here. And he was in the energy business also... So we had a lot in common. Frankly I was really leary of the whole situation but he turned out to be a nice guy. And we still chat. And when he's in town to see his dad and I'm free we have lunch. Nothing more.... A friendship that had a strange beginning? Lol.

[demibra]

Karren,
"An ex-cd" has to be an endangered species. I never thought you could cd and then back up. Personally, I knew I had gone to far after slipping on mom's panties and bra.

Smiles,
Demi

[Mikaela]

Reine, I've shared a few drinks with Alice and we've talked about it. (Also, that book is several years old and the situation is a little different now.) I think there are three (or four id you break up the one) categories that fit most profiles.

Yes, some are also CDs or TSs who are afraid to go out and are attracted to what they feel they can't be. I don't think this is that common. I've met maybe 2 guys who were like this and they are usually scared.

There are the in-denial bisexuals (the sex is gay, but they aren't completely) that are doing what Melody says, using enough visual cues to get them over the hurdle, so to speak. This group can be subdivided into the guys who are not in denial, who like the third gender, for all that it entails - or who simply like boy bits but are not attracted to men themselves.

The final group which is becoming more and more common and may also combine the other groups, are guys with absolutely no game. I've seen the entire spectrum from young guys to old, attractive to ugly, skinny to fat, short (many are very short) to tall. They are generally not charming, have no clue to interact with a woman (much less a person), and behave inappropriately. I've had guys like this snap their fingers in front of me to get my attention while I was talking to people, I've been touched inappropriately, blatantly asked if I was down to F, or what flavor of tgirl I was, followed around like puppy, leered at all night, etc. Many do this while I'm standing with my arm around my girlfriend. Since these guys have no luck with real women, they either go for working girls (and working tgirls) or 'girls' who believe because we have male urges, we're all in the same boat and can skip any social interaction and just jump to sex.

I'm sure GGs deal with it too, but these guys seem really bottom of the barrel.

In general, most are creeps. I avoid them at the club, I don't accept their drinks, and am not really interested in conversation. And whether they admit it or not, I don't think they are really interested in conversation either. I also don't allow them as friends on FB. I get strange 'pokes' and other messages enough as it is from admirers who are friends of my friends.


I always thought Alice (Richard) Novic, author of "Alice in Genderland", had a good handle on it. She's in an open marriage and has been in a long term relationship with a male lover, one night per week. She believes that admirers aren't "especially happening men" and they may also be in denial over their own desires to crossdress.

http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html

[Lorileah]

Karren,
"An ex-cd" has to be an endangered species. Maybe saying "inactive" would be better?

I have met a lot of "Ex-drag queens" recently but that just reinforces my thoughts about drag queens just playing the part and not really into the clothing. Good thing is they all have suggestions on how I could look "better" and they all involve extra make up in large amounts in areas I don't usually put it. :)

I also have met quite a few admirers who want nothing more than to say how much they like how I look. But then I make it clear right away that I m just out to enjoy myself and I am not looking to hook up. I think in a "straight" situation a man who is trying to date a CD is just a bisexual in straight clothing. It is a good way to say "I thought she was a female!" if they get caught. And I have met some very macho guys who are in this class.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Haha! LOL!!

No but a couple of years ago if I accepted a date from an admirer he would have to pay for a nice dinner, drinks, whatever else.

Some I saw on and off.

In my original post I told of receiving a man's ex wife's Rolex.

Another man bought me a 500.00 gift certificate to an upscale salon in the Denver area.

If their willing to give me things and I thought they were kind of cute what the hell, I'd sleep with them.

You don't get anything in this life for free Momarie and I made sure that those admirer's coughed up the merchandise.


Julia


juliainpa

Do all your "admirers" go by the name of Johns?

[Karren H]

Karren,
"An ex-cd" has to be an endangered species. I never thought you could cd and then back up. Personally, I knew I had gone to far after slipping on mom's panties and bra.

Smiles,
Demi




Maybe saying "inactive" would be better?

)
.

Those were his words... Think he was more of a realist. And said he wasn't very good at it and had no chance in hell of ever passing... But he still liked to chat with tg folks. And be around them. Still was a nice person...

[Momarie]

Well said and well done Julia.

I do disagree about nothing in life is free though.
There are priceless gifts given to us everyday if we open our hearts to them.

A beautiful pink and gold sunrise, a thunderstorm, a child's giggles, watching the deer leaping the creek to find the salt lick outback, a moon rise sparkling and reflecting off the water, the muffled sound of snow falling in the woods, a cat seeking the warmth of my lap, seeing spoonbills breaching in the lake outside my window, the beauty of dogwoods blooming in the spring, the healing heat of a hot fragrant bath, the sight, aroma and crackling sound of cedar and oak burning in the fireplace, coyotes calling to each other in the hills behind me, my grandpa's eyes lighting up every time I walked into his room.....

These gifts are everywhere we look when we open our hearts.

[vikki2020]

I don't know. I think I read a column by Dan Savage, and a guy wrote that he is straight, but attracted to t-girls. Savage considered it a hetero experience. Guys that would not be attracted to men, or gay men, but can accept us as a woman. I have a profile on a mainstream dating site, as a woman. I get a lot of messages, from men looking for woman, and when I tell them I'm transgendered, most will say that they have never considered that, but, like how the conversation was going, and are willing to try give it a try! Maybe it was something they thought about, and here's their chance? Many are surprised by the way they feel, and tell me that they can't believe they are thinking about going out with me, lol! As long as I'm treated like a lady!

[ReineD]

While some admirers are quite creepy, others are not. Just like any other person, you need learn to be a good judge of character. I have spent time with a few admirers who were perfectly wonderful.


I think that many of the guys that seem "creepy", are probably just socially impaired "Casper Milktoast" characters overcompensating for their shyness and alienation by acting out their fantasies of being a "player"...while hiding behind the anonymous curtain of the internet.

That's true. I certainly don't mean to paint everyone with a broad brush. I'm just going by my impression of the admirers I've seen in the few tranny-bars my SO and I have gone to, plus the general comments I've read here about them, and also Novic's assessment.



Reine, I've shared a few drinks with Alice and we've talked about it. (Also, that book is several years old and the situation is a little different now.) I think there are three (or four id you break up the one) categories that fit most profiles.

...

I've been touched inappropriately, blatantly asked if I was down to F, or what flavor of tgirl I was, followed around like puppy, leered at all night, etc. Many do this while I'm standing with my arm around my girlfriend. Since these guys have no luck with real women, they either go for working girls (and working tgirls) or 'girls' who believe because we have male urges, we're all in the same boat and can skip any social interaction and just jump to sex.

So tell me, is Alice's wife really OK with Alice having a long-term lover? I guess I'd have to be in her shoes, but I can't see myself ever being comfortable with this. I suppose I'm wired for monogamy. :p

And yeah, I've gotten the same impression with the few admirers I've seen. Maybe I was just in the wrong places. :p

[larry]

Thanks all. As a "somewhat submissive schmoe " I will remember that not everyone on this forum is a nice person. Seems to be a collective opinion of dislike..

[kellycan27]

Thanks all. As a "somewhat submissive schmoe " I will remember that not everyone on this forum is a nice person. Seems to be a collective opinion of dislike..

There are good guys and bad guys out there, unfortunately the ones who do weird stuff seem to over shadow the ones who don't ...sounds kind of like a familiar rant to me. Not that cross dressers have the problem of being stereotyped as weirdo's and pervs... just sayin.

[Samantha_Smile]

Eurgh.
If anyone here uses the chat service advertised through this forum (and if you don't you should- its fantastic) Im sure youre familiar with these 'admirer' types.
There are a few nice ones that are online regularly, greet you nicely and respectfully. But for every nice one, there's 500 scumbags.
Initiating conversations with smooth chat-up-lines such as,
"Hi bb, youre sexy, are you horny?" or my personal favorite "can I see your clitty?" Usual response being "Oh shit! Can you? I hope not!"

Beware, from my experience, those who call themselves admirers who claim to tell you youre beautiful, or youre [insert what you want to hear] are usually after one thing, this we know.
But whats really shitty, is that theve specifically targeted a niche group in society, which is vulnerable and eager for acceptance, and they use this to try and extort sex.
Theyre not there to meet beautiful women, theyre there to hook up with a tranny. Excuse the vulgarity, but that's what's going on between their ears... it must be.