Understanding GG's

[angpai30]

I have been reading a lot of posts about how GG's don't understand this and they don't understand that and part of me wants to scream because I feel like it's all GG bashing because they don't understand. Recently the post by the anonymous GG was a plea for understanding not an accusation. I in no way felt that she was being accusatory in any sense of the question, but putting her feelers out and trying to "understand". How do we expect the GG's to understand us if we go off the deep end when a serious, yet, very viable question is asked? I applaude this GG for asking such a question because it made me think of my own cding and whether or not I knew what it really takes. It's questions like these that help us to even understand ourselves sometimes.
I want to know if there is anyone who read that post that did not gain a little more understanding of themselves and their dressing from her asking such a simple question. I personally do not know what it takes to be a woman and in fact I would like to say "I want to learn what it takes to be a woman" because that way maybe I can appreciate more of what women really do in our lives and what kind of role they take in helping us even in our cding.
It's times like these that these that these fantastic women are the most fearful because they are married or have boyfriends who like to cd, but don't know how to react. I am wondering if we didn't scare her off because of all the negativity about her post. Maybe she is fearful that her husband or boyfriend likes men and wants to actually be a woman and transition. I don't know her position in life, but I do know that a little kindness can go a long way even if we may take offense to someones remarks. Who knows..... maybe this question was a lead up to another question that would answer more than just question or maybe resolve a fear or many fears that she has about cding. Who knows what will happen, but maybe, just maybe she will become an important asset to all of us who are on this board.
I thank all the GG's that are here on this board who take the time to listen and understand. This anonymous GG is in need of some help and it sounds like it is a very difficult time in her life. It sounds like she is a real sweetheart too and I would love to get to know her and give her any support if she needs it!!
We need to understand where our GG's are coming from and support them because if that were to stop then where would any of us be?

[KellyJameson]

Hi Kristen. What is the name of the thread you are referring to that a GG posted so I can find and read it ? I missed that one and would be very interested in a GG perspective or questions. Thanks. Kelly

[Melody1985]

Yeah, I thought the questions were more inquisitive than accusatory. But taking a defensive stand is a natural human reaction. Especially since we are constantly looked at as "weird" to say the least.

So although we TGs as a whole may need to take a second before we become defensive, all others should take into consideration that their questions or comments may be offensive if said or asked the wrong way..

At the end of the day though, and this may be harsh.. All of us could help ourselves by being a little less sensitive!!

[ashlylynn]

Yes - certain people here acted like a bunch of women ( pun intended ) in response to the post.
- They immediately became defensive because they interpreted a question as an insult or judgement.

My favorite part of her question was that so many CDs ( to her ) seem to be all about the shopping and stuff
and I didn't bother to answer. The fact is - if you have a DREAM / FANTASY about winning the lottery,
you don't put in that fantasy the stuff about accountants and taxes and being at higher risk for scam
investments and fraud - no - you think about the cars, houses, vacations ..FREEDOM. So of course
the "fantasy" CD ( as differentiated from a transexual / transgender ) will be all about the fun stuff
AND what he was socialized to believe being a woman is all about - just from watching us...shop.

[Sandra]

Hi Kristen. What is the name of the thread you are referring to that a GG posted so I can find and read it ? I missed that one and would be very interested in a GG perspective or questions. Thanks. Kelly

I believe this is the thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?164590-Question-to-CDs-only-from-Anonymous-GG)

[Renee W]

I read the thread constantly as it was unfolding and I agree with your view points on how it progressed.

My own little take on the whole thing is this (an this applies to some of the other associated threads that have been removed)---

Yes, a lot of people took the thread harshly, a lot of people did not. Most of the harshness came from the built in 'fight' response programmed in to the male personna. Throughout history, whenever a guy's way of life, his toys, his property, or family is threatened, his first response is to defend what is his, fighting if needed. That is what some respondants were doing, trying to protect and defend their way of life. Were they right or wrong? I won't judge and I don't care. I love this forum and what it provides. I also value getting input from all points of view, it allows me to find the information that applies to my particular situation.

In closing, I would just like ask everybody to turn to the IP address to your right, give them a big hug, and tell them that you love them just the way they are, we are all one big family here.

[Linda Stockings]

I have to agree with Kristen, and that said, I don't have a whole lot to add. I find it helpful to sometimes put myself in the GG's place. Is is easy to see why a GG would want to dress as a genetic male? Don't think so; I haven't been able to. I just try to be supportive of them.My wife has found me dressed a number of times, and I consider myself very lucky that her reactions seem to have become accepting and non-critical. It can't be easy for her or any GG, at least not at first. If we help the GG's they're much more likely to help us. Be safe, Linda

[Calleona]

forgive me but what do the letters GG stand for ?

[Ashley_Marie]

forgive me but what do the letters GG stand for ?

Genetic Girl, means someone who was born a woman.

[Jessica86]

All I can say is this. If you don't understand something, sit back and listen. It's like getting your car worked on when you know nothing about them. If the mechanic is about to put your car in the shop, don't tell him "I have a problem. All you have to do is twist the putter valve, and take the muffler bearing off and it's good." There is no putter valve or muffler bearing on a car for those who don't know. Sit back and admit you don't know anything. Just say "I don't know what's wrong, but it's doing this or that." The point is just present the keys (problem) to the mechanic (the board) and wait in the waiting room until a mechanic (board member) provides you with the answer you are looking for. Then, get in your car and take off, trusting their experience (some on here have ten years or more with CD behavior WITH spouses) fixed, or will fix your issue.

[Karren H]

Why do we feel the need to understand? It's just like I drive a car but I don't understand how a car works.... Bad example.... I don't understand how electricity..... Hmmmm. I don't understand...... Fine. There has to be a few things that an engineer doesn't understand but that doesn't stiop them from using it! Just can't think of what that would be right now...

But I don't have to understand a woman to want to look like one,,,, or they don't need to understand me to let me......

[Suzy Parker]

I try to understand my wife but find that what I think I understand one day does not apply the next. I am happy to just have her let me know what to understand and for how long. I understand enough to know that I hardly understand anything but am wise enough to know when and what not to say that will get me into trouble, sometimes. As for understanding myself that will never happen and the best I hope for is to live in peace with my duality. And for trying to understand GG's or CD's or any other group is impossible as we are all unique individuals. I dislike labels and profiles as they tend to misrepresent the majority of the group in question. I notice quite a bit of controversy about two subjects in particular which I take no part in and notice that the other 95% are not noticed. It's like forum rubbernecking, some just zoom right by the ordinary everyday items until they see the flashing lights and hit the brakes. All I am trying to convey is that there is a wide variety of personalities, motivations, likes and dislikes, so please don't judge everyone based on the actions of a few.

Suzy

[Jodi]

Excuse me! Any man who attempts to figure out how a women thinks or ever thinks he has a woman's thoughts figured out, is headed for disaster. No man will ever figure out a woman.

So, if they can't be figured out, how does one ever expect to think like a woman.

Jodi

[suchacutie]

Wow...my experience in the last 6 years has been completely different. My wife and I discovered Tina one Saturday morning and we've done nothing but discuss the differences between the genders since. We've had fantastic talks about growing up in one gender or the other. We covered the obvious areas of experimentation with clothes and shoes and makeup and when that happened and how, but then we also talked about the psychology of being a girl and then a woman, the socialization, the expectations, the discrimination, and the aspirations. We also talked about the detailed differences in language, voice, word usage, body language and general deportment, and how all this stuff evolved as girls grow into woman.

I've learned about not "solving every little problem" instead of discussing (or complaining) about it instead. Tina was considered too "sweet" and had to be taught about being a little "b***hy" at times and just how to do that.

All of this is important to me because the Tina part of me has no interest in being a guy. For me the tranformation is mental as well as physical as she gets lost in the art of femininity, and when I change to a guy he gets lost in the art of masculinity. Tina wants to be able to be as naturally feminine as possible, so the more understanding she has, the happier she is!

[docrobbysherry]

C'mon! It's so easy! If u can heard cats, u can understand women! Sometimes. I don't TRY to do either. And, I stay out of a lot of trouble that way!

Now Sherry, I UNDERSTAND! But then again, she's not a female! Oh, never mind! Sigh!