Taking Public Transportation

[Contessa]

I take public transportation everyday just about to get to work. I have never seen anyone whom I would believe was CD on the bus or the train at that time. If I go out alone I would have to take the bus/train. Would anyone go out en femme on public transportations or does every one only drive. I need to go but my wife won't go willingly. What's a girl to do?http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/smilies/straightface.gif

[Noel Chimes]

I feel your need to get out Contessa but I hear concerns from the wife (my wife won't go willingly). Seriously though, make sure that your wife is comfortable with you going out before you go. Discuss her fears and reservations and get those settled first. Dressing will come and go but supporting spouses are a rare find.

[jjjjohanne]

I flew on a plane enfemme but with my man head. I rode the airports' shuttle busses at both airports from the trip. It was crowded (which helped, I think) and the trips were rather direct. It took a lot of outings to be able to do something like this.

[Noortje]

Same problem here. I have never tried it, but I would recommend taking a "safe" connection. So not late at night, not in a bad neighbourhood, not when school is just out, etc. Maybe take a test trip one time, just to see how public transport agrees with you.

[Cynthia Anne]

Hi Contessa! I wouldn't worry about taking public transportation if it were me! But that's just the way I am! I live out in the woods you see! I have a shot gun and a four wheel drive and it's just the dog and me! But if I had a wife I would respect her wishes first! Hugs!

[Renee W]

I take the METRO a couple times a week into DC and that's turning into a risk just being dressed as a guy, wouldn't even think about doing it en femme (if I was to go out that way).

[sandra-leigh]

I've taken the city bus a number of times dressed, on some of the busiest bus routes in town. I have taken the bus and street-cars in some other cities as well. If I get a seat, there is never any trouble. Even if I end up standing, the trouble has not been serious (guys staring with a bit of a frown, perhaps a "Huh!" or two -- but it hasn't been a glare.)

I have also taken domestic flights dressed several times. The closest I've had to trouble on those was a security screener who seemed to insist on getting me to talk; at the time it seemed as if he was doing it so that other people around would hear my voice and so "read" me... but it is also possible that he was trying to confirm that I was in fact male as it said on my documents. Whatever; it was over in a very short time and no-one cared.

About the toughest part of flying dressed is if you need to go to the bathroom right near boarding time and the single-use stalls within feasible range are all busy. I prefer not to risk using the woman's washroom in situations like that (I don't need to be delayed to explain myself when my flight is about to leave!); it takes a bit of courage to walk in to the multi-user men's washroom in a dress and heels :eek:

[StaceyJane]

I've riden the comuter train in Dallas several times en femme plus the downtown light rail. I've never had a problem even when it was very crowded.

[Shelly Preston]

Using public transportation takes confidence

You need to be happy with your presentation first. When you are happy you are unlikely to get any hassle then choose carefully where you want to go. I have used trains & busses. I have not made it onto a plane dressed so far. I have not had any trouble at anytime on public transport, but I do only travel that way in the daylight.

[Nicole Brown]

I have taken the North Jersey Coast Line commuter trains into New York City quite a few times without any problems. Once in NYC I have taken the subway, buses and taxi's without difficulties. The most important thing is to dress appropriately and to blend in. Above all, have faith and confidence in yourself and your appearance and keep your head held high.

[sandra-leigh]

"Dress and blend in", in New York City?? I thought NYC was the place where it was mandatory to wear something outrageous :D

[RachelOKC]

Living in the Bay Area, I've taken public transportation including BART, MUNI, and shuttles countless times. Mass transit is pretty much a fact of life around here because driving is unpredictable (well...predictably bad) and there's usually only limited or expensive parking. I actually do like walking, but that's not very practical in a lot of cases and my personal jetpack is on terminal backorder. So the train and bus it is.

I can say that the only real difficulties I've experienced on public transportation have been the same that any passenger might experience. Crowded cars, rowdy passengers, soiled seats, a drunk falling asleep on your shoulder - unpleasant but nothing anti-trans.

It's not like people don't know I'm trans, since if I'm with my son he's yelling "DADDY, DADDY, DADDY" half the trip. Or even if I'm alone someone might peg me and stare. Oh well, it's their right and I'm not going to get worked up about it. Even though it's kinda an unwritten rule that you don't talk to other passengers (especially during commute hours) I've still had some nice conversations with other people, often about my cute little toddler boy. If it wasn't obvious before that I was trans, as soon as I open my mouth to talk it is. That hasn't prevented nice people from continuing to be nice.

The way I see it, is that the trip is likely to be what you make of it. Go with confidence, relax, and know you have a right to be who you are. Do that everywhere (not just on mass transit) and you're apt to be fine.

[Karren H]

I've never done that.... Always had this problem in my head being somewhere with no exit strategy!! Lol. Obviously I select my venues carefully. I like to be in control of the situation or at least tell myself i am!

[BillieJoEllen]

Exactly my thoughts Karren.

[RenneB]

Never took public transport as for me it's always the car. I need to be in control... Too many variables on the bus.

Renne.....

[AllieSF]

Like Rachel, I have taken our train/subway system BART in the San Francisco Bay area with no problems except once. I was returning with a TS friend and a couple of 13 year old girls decided to have some fun with us. It got to the point where I just started answering their questions while looking directly at them. It took awhile but they calmed down (lost the fun aspect?) and finally almost ignored us. When we got off the train several of the passengers told us how sorry they felt for us and how bad the girls were. Otherwise, I normally drive into the city because I tend to come home after the public system shuts down for the evening. I have also flown to and from Las Vegas and took the airport/hotel shuttles all en femme with no problems. That being said, whether in male or female mode, one should always be watchful for potential problems that can happen no matter in what mode you are dressed.

[Dawn cd]

I've taken the bus in NYC and gotten a few rude stares. When it happens I just gaze in another direction and think, "Ah well, sticks and stones..." The nice thing about a big city is that you'll probably never see these people again. The most awkward part is waiting at the bus stop when you are more likely to run into neighborhood folks. Occasionally I'll walk from a stop where people don't know me.

[Annette_boy]

When I was without a car, I used public Transit in Baltimore MD for 2 years . I had no problems confidence and being dressed in an approrate manner( not like a hooker ) helped as was said before some times of dat are best avoided. Mainly because of crowding and delays from traffic. Yall will do just fine on the bus or train or subway.
Hugs Annette

[Cheryl T]

There is almost no public transportation here in NJ so that's a moot issue.
Unless one happens to be in a big city you need a car here to get around.

[ArleneRaquel]

I avoid using public transportation while dressed enfemme. The first time that I did it, about 8 years ago, I left my purse at the bus stop, and it was a most embarrassing situation. Luckily for me a couple picked up my purse, flagged the bus down, and a potential terrible situation was turnded into just onje of great embarrassment. Looking back at it now I can laugh about it.

[Niya W]

Hmm wonders how I miss this thread. As an ex bay area girl I can tell you that public transit is not a big deal out hear. I'm invisible when I take BART. I;ve never liked the muni buses but their light rail is fine.

[Melissa Rose]

I've flown multiple times, and taken taxis, airport and hotel shuttles, buses and trains so I guess the answer is yes. Be aware of the safety of the transportation mode and locales, and use common sense to avoid dangerous or sketchy situations. If you think it would be unreasonably unsafe for most women, don't do it yourself.

[windycissy]

I've been riding public transportation for years, starting with buses and taxis in Chicago, rode the Metroliner from NYC to DC once, use BART to get into San Francisco all the time and even tried the Underground and a double decker bus in London once, I prefer public transit whenever possible as opposed to driving and risking an accident, especially when I've had a few...

[sandra-leigh]

and even tried the Underground and a double decker bus in London once

I lived in London UK for a while, so I took the Underground more times than I could count. I had not started crossdressing at that time, so I cannot directly remark on that. What I can say is that my continual impression from the time was that the Underground itself was relatively safe (though you wouldn't want to forget about pickpockets.) What worried me much more was the walk home after I got off the line.

[DonnaT]

I take the METRO a couple times a week into DC and that's turning into a risk just being dressed as a guy, wouldn't even think about doing it en femme (if I was to go out that way).
I took the subway, Metro Blue Line, while dressed.

I didn't encounter any problems, and I even had a mustache at the time.

[Sheren Kelly]

I took the subway, Metro Blue Line, while dressed.

I didn't encounter any problems.

Ditto for me. It has been awhile for me, but I never had a problem and I was certain I was read from the time I stepped into the train. Be confident and stay with a well mixed crowd and you should have no problems.

[Rianna Humble]

When I thought cross-dressing would enable me to cope with my gender dysphoria, I used to travel by public transport twice a day between 5 and 7 days a week dressed but without make-up or a wig. On at least one occasion a GG said that she admired me for having the confidence to present in that way.

Now I wouldn't go anywhere without my make-up, but I still travel twice a day by public transport.


Contessa, have you listened to what your wife feels about the idea of you using public transport? Not only what are her reasons, but how does it make her feel?

[Beverley Sims]

"Dress and blend in", in New York City?? I thought NYC was the place where it was mandatory to wear something outrageous :D

Nooo! You 're thinking of San Francisco.
Just about anything goes.
Washington DC> looks a bit more conservative.
New Orleans here I come.

[KylieA]

Otherwise, I normally drive into the city because I tend to come home after the public system shuts down for the evening.

The shutting down is a pain. Boston's MBTA Subway shuts down a little after midnight. No late night bar visits in Boston without a car. On the other hand NYC's MTA runs 24/7. Maybe that is why more people ride NYC Subway then all others in the US combined. You can relay upon it.

[Vanessa Storrs]

The only cities where I've used mass transit are San Francisco. Both cities are very accepting and their public transit systems are. Also very tolerant of transgendered people. Never a problem with either system.

[CamillaCD]

I've been to London three times. Each time I used the underground (enfemme) to get around. No problems at all.

At SCC this year I took the MARTA downtown on Saturday and visited the aquarium. No problem.

Here in Oslo I haven't used public transportation, mostly due to practical reasons. It takes an hour to get downtown, 20 minutes by car. Shortly after midnight the subway closes, leaving an expensive taxi ride home as the only alternative.

[Andy66]

I see CD or trans ladies on the Vegas buses maybe once every two months on the average. (At least the ones I'm aware of.) I have never seen any problems occur. They are mostly ignored. The most recent lovely CD lady I ran into seemed a bit defensive, as if she was expecting trouble. I think she left pleasantly surprised. :love:

[Claire Cook]

I've taken the DC Metro several times while dressed and never had a problem. It seems most people are too absorbed in their own thoughts (or newspapers, or books, or smart phones) to care much what I wear.

[Stiefelchris]

I think people are busy all the time and do not care much anyway.

[DonnaT]

Washington DC> looks a bit more conservative.

Not really. DC even has gender anti-discrimination laws.

[toriwilliams]

while visiting NYC for four days, i was staying in queens and took the number 7 train back-and-from manhattan each day. no problems.

[Genifer Teal]

I've taken lot's of metro area commuter trains including amtrak. Never a problem. NYC subways can be a crap shoot (good or bad). How your are dressed does not necessarily influence that. My general rule is I may take the subway when going out but not when returning home late at night. I usually just take cabs.

[Cristi]

I've taken the subway into Boston from the suburbs West of the city all the way in. Once there, I got back on a few times to get to different parts of town. All in all including transfers, I think I got on 8 different trains and was out 5+ hours. All while in a skirt suit, pantyhose, heels, etc.

Nobody even gave me a 2nd glance... It was a great day.

[Samantha_Smile]

Possible tangent here but it just occurred to me to share it here, not only is it related to transgenderism on public transport, but it's pretty good insight into why the public at large may view CDing as odd.

I have a friend who moved to Manchester city center a few years ago, he's not a CD but openly admits to trying it under his philosophy of
"Can't knock it till you try it", which Ive always thought was awesome.
He doesnt drive and so all of his transport of anything over a mile or two (work and shopping) is done by bus, train or tram.
One day on his way home from work, head buried in a book (Not unusual to find him like this. I can recall a few occasions where he removed himself from conversation to finish a chapter, only to be shouted at for his behaviour) and about 10 minutes into a 30 minute bus journey, the bus pulls up at a stop.
From the back of the bus he hears teenagers laughing much louder than most people would say was acceptable, he lifts his head ready to turn round to see if it was him they were laughing at, but before turning he see's, at the front of the bus what he described as,
"... the worst transvestite Ive ever seen. Like receding hairline, 10pm shaddow, arm tattoos and muscles, big hairy hands and make up that I reckon I could do better than."

I wish to clarify here, my friend is not against transgendered individuals, he's not really against anyone, he's one of the most tolerant, passive loving people that I know. But he knows when someone could try harder with their appearance, I think we all do.

Before he was seen to be looking at her, and to guise his gawp as a casual glance he returned his eyes to his book and read a few lines before the transvestite staggered past him in heels that she just wasnt managing, and slumped herself in the seat behind my friend on the bus, but also the seat in front of the back row where the teenagers were.
He caught a glimpse of something in his peripheral vision, to find her leaning forward, looking straight forward, not at my mate and she said
"Thats right, go on... Laugh at the tranny" in what he described as a "good Liam Neeson tone",
"Err, I wasn't luv... Im not with them lot...." he tried to reply
"But you wanted to didn't ya, go on, laugh..."
"Thanks but Im not a nob." My friend is great at being sarcastic and nailing his stand-point in one line.

My problem is the behaviour, first of the kids at the back, really out of order. Why is it okay to mock anyone in public like that?
And secondly with the transvestite lady, not only giving a bad name to all of us who try hard to look good (my vanity is showing here) but also accusing an innocent guy (my mate) of being abusive towards her.
Misdirected anger may be a sign of wider problems this poor TV had, but if her best response is "Laugh at the tranny", then she should try a lot harder to pass.


If youre thinking about doin public transport while dressed, my best advice is avoid school run hours.

[Michaella]

I've taken commuter trains and buses many times, without issues.

Michaella