Elinor
09-04-2004, 01:28 AM
It is here that the difference between transvestites and transsexuals becomes most obvious. Whereas transsexuals would (by definition) say that they would like to spend 168 hours a week as a woman the majority of transvestites are keen to retain their mix and match approach to sexuality. Although most transvestites would like to be able to spend more time `dressed', and the vast majority of those who are still `in the closet' would like to come out into the open, nearly all of the transvestites who took part in this survey made it quite clear that they did not want to stop dressing as men. For most transvestites cross dressing is a part of being male - not an alternative.
Quotes from crossdressers
`The skeleton in my closet wears silk panties, ten denier stockings and an itsy bitsy satin bra but that doesn't mean that I don't still enjoy male things. I still watch football and mess with my car like any other man.'
`If it was possible - most of the time.'
`All the time if I felt in the mood. But I still enjoy my male self.'
`Probably 30-70 hours. But I also have a male existence which I also enjoy at work, in sport and as a TV I can have much of the best of both worlds - male and female. I don't mix the two. I am either one or the other!'
`This is a hard one to answer as I feel if you did it too often, the feelings of enjoyment would be reduced or disappear altogether.'
`I spend most of the weekend dressed or as much as possible.'
`I would dearly love to enjoy the same freedom as women who wear trousers and jackets without fear of public condemnation or arrest. Probably the only way that this innocent behaviour will ever be tolerated is for it to become fashionable.'
`I would like to wear a skirt or dress most of the time if I could, but I do not like wearing a wig or make up.'
`At present I manage to dress for approximately 10 hours a week but like all TVs I would dress all the time if society would accept it and I wasn't persecuted, made a laughing stock and was accepted for who I am and what I know.'
`(I dress) three hours a night, seven nights a week. We are retired, having sex morning and afternoon. But I've been known to dress up early.'
GENERAL CONCLUSION
A few decades ago men and women had the same sort of life expectancy. Today's figures show that women now live seven years longer than men. The life expectancy of the average white woman is now nearly 80 years. The life expectancy of the average white man is just above 70 years. Today men die earlier from all leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, accidents, violence and suicide.
There is no sound physiological explanation for this massive difference in life expectation. Women do not naturally live longer than men. At the turn of the century women and men had an identical life expectancy. This vast difference in life expectancy is due to something that has happened this century. And I suspect that the explanation is social.
In recent years women have quite reasonably claimed the right to do nearly all of the things that men do - and to behave in many traditionally male ways. Women now fight fires, drive lorries, sit in the boss's chair and exhibit emotions which were traditionally regarded as male - and which, in the past, women usually had to suppress. Women can be as tough and as aggressive as men without anyone thinking any the worse of them. And they can wear male clothing without anyone batting an eyelid.
But while women have won the right to exhibit qualities which used to be regarded as `male' - without losing their feminine qualities - most men still don't feel able to exhibit traditionally female qualities.
Although they now have to cope with a world in which women's rights and expectations have changed most men still hide their emotions from one another and from themselves. And it is the burying of their emotions which results in men suffering so much damage from stress. At heart most men are just as romantic, compassionate and sensitive as most women. Indeed, women tend to be much stronger and more capable of dealing with divorce, unemployment and bereavement than men are.
Most men dare not admit their femininity to themselves - let alone show it to others. They bottle up their feelings and suffer from high blood pressure, heart disease and weak immune systems. As stress becomes increasingly invasive and inescapable so men suffer more and more from stress related disorders.
It is social changes which are killing men and filling our hospitals and old peoples homes with octogenarian widows. While women have enlarged their role in society (and have, as a result become healthier) men have been pushed further and further into their destructive and damaging masculinity. Men are still taught that they must be heros. They must perform and succeed to win love and respect. Men who can't cope are weak.
The theory that men are men, that women are women and that in addition to the obvious physical differences there are fundamental physiological and psychological differences which mean that men and women see the world through entirely different eyes and must, in consequence, respond entirely differently to identical stimuli is a nonsense. To a large extent the theory no longer applies to women. But it still applies to men.
Society has tried to define males and females in harsh black and white tones whereas in reality the truth is a vast variety of shades of grey. But society's rules and expectations mean that individuals who do not conform to the strict man-woman dichotomy tend to suffer agonies; feeling that they have failed themselves, their families and society. Many suppress and repress what they regard as `odd' or `unacceptable' feelings - with damaging psychological consequences.
Transvestism is a healthy release of feelings which are probably far more universal than is generally accepted. I suspect that those who condemn cross dressing most loudly are themselves probably struggling to cope with feelings which they do not understand and which they regard as unacceptable.
Crossdressing has been described as a `symbolic excursion across gender boundaries'. It is probably a healthier and more natural excursion than we realise for it enables a man to show his `softer side'. Male freedoms should include the right to express their femaleness, in just the same way that women have fought for and won the right to express their maleness. Anything else is sexist and unfair. Men should not be ashamed to show their female qualities; they should not be reluctant to let their emotions show, to ask for help and support and to combine traditional male toughness with the soft, gentle qualities which are hidden deep inside.
And women should do their best to encourage their men to show their femininity. These days it isn't women who need liberating but men.
There are many practical ways in which men can let their soft, feminine nature surface. They can learn to share their fears and admit to their vulnerability; they can learn to listen to their instincts more often and they can share their feelings with friends.
But it isn't always easy to do these things when you've spent decades doing the opposite.
And so increasing numbers of men are finding that there is a short cut. By dressing as women they can liberate their feminine, gentle side - and (temporarily at least) escape from their aggressive, ambitious, demanding masculine selves.
After all, women dress as men when taking on male attributes - the woman truck driver wears jeans and a plaid shirt and the woman executive wears a smart suit and carries a briefcase.
I believe that the benefits of cross dressing are great. In my view so many transvestites get stress relief from their crossdressing that doctors should consider encouraging some of their harassed male patients to try wearing womens' clothing in an attempt to escape from their day to day worries.
Many people still regard cross dressing as a joke. It is something that often attracts sneers and giggles. But if there were more transvestites in our society there would probably be fewer men suffering from heart disease, high blood pressure and ulcers. And that's no laughing matter.
Sadly, many of those who have found the courage to escape from the stresses of twentieth century life by putting on panties, bra, stockings and a dress still feel guilty about what they do.
It is time for the sneering to stop and the guilt to be banished. While women fighting for liberation burnt their bras men fighting for liberation are now wearing theirs.
Many transvestites admit that their fear of being found out neutralises much of the stress relieving benefit they feel from cross dressing. As someone who has gained great relief from stress by crossdressing and who has been fortunate enough to receive unqualified support from his partner I was saddened by many of the letters I received while preparing this report. It seems to me to be important that those transvestites who feel able to do so should be open about what they do. Transvestism will become accepted only when there is less secrecy. It is too easy for those who sneer or look down their noses to attack transvestites on the grounds that if they themselves are too embarrassed about what they do to admit to it in public then there must be something wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing but there is a great deal wrong with society.
:p
Quotes from crossdressers
`The skeleton in my closet wears silk panties, ten denier stockings and an itsy bitsy satin bra but that doesn't mean that I don't still enjoy male things. I still watch football and mess with my car like any other man.'
`If it was possible - most of the time.'
`All the time if I felt in the mood. But I still enjoy my male self.'
`Probably 30-70 hours. But I also have a male existence which I also enjoy at work, in sport and as a TV I can have much of the best of both worlds - male and female. I don't mix the two. I am either one or the other!'
`This is a hard one to answer as I feel if you did it too often, the feelings of enjoyment would be reduced or disappear altogether.'
`I spend most of the weekend dressed or as much as possible.'
`I would dearly love to enjoy the same freedom as women who wear trousers and jackets without fear of public condemnation or arrest. Probably the only way that this innocent behaviour will ever be tolerated is for it to become fashionable.'
`I would like to wear a skirt or dress most of the time if I could, but I do not like wearing a wig or make up.'
`At present I manage to dress for approximately 10 hours a week but like all TVs I would dress all the time if society would accept it and I wasn't persecuted, made a laughing stock and was accepted for who I am and what I know.'
`(I dress) three hours a night, seven nights a week. We are retired, having sex morning and afternoon. But I've been known to dress up early.'
GENERAL CONCLUSION
A few decades ago men and women had the same sort of life expectancy. Today's figures show that women now live seven years longer than men. The life expectancy of the average white woman is now nearly 80 years. The life expectancy of the average white man is just above 70 years. Today men die earlier from all leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, accidents, violence and suicide.
There is no sound physiological explanation for this massive difference in life expectation. Women do not naturally live longer than men. At the turn of the century women and men had an identical life expectancy. This vast difference in life expectancy is due to something that has happened this century. And I suspect that the explanation is social.
In recent years women have quite reasonably claimed the right to do nearly all of the things that men do - and to behave in many traditionally male ways. Women now fight fires, drive lorries, sit in the boss's chair and exhibit emotions which were traditionally regarded as male - and which, in the past, women usually had to suppress. Women can be as tough and as aggressive as men without anyone thinking any the worse of them. And they can wear male clothing without anyone batting an eyelid.
But while women have won the right to exhibit qualities which used to be regarded as `male' - without losing their feminine qualities - most men still don't feel able to exhibit traditionally female qualities.
Although they now have to cope with a world in which women's rights and expectations have changed most men still hide their emotions from one another and from themselves. And it is the burying of their emotions which results in men suffering so much damage from stress. At heart most men are just as romantic, compassionate and sensitive as most women. Indeed, women tend to be much stronger and more capable of dealing with divorce, unemployment and bereavement than men are.
Most men dare not admit their femininity to themselves - let alone show it to others. They bottle up their feelings and suffer from high blood pressure, heart disease and weak immune systems. As stress becomes increasingly invasive and inescapable so men suffer more and more from stress related disorders.
It is social changes which are killing men and filling our hospitals and old peoples homes with octogenarian widows. While women have enlarged their role in society (and have, as a result become healthier) men have been pushed further and further into their destructive and damaging masculinity. Men are still taught that they must be heros. They must perform and succeed to win love and respect. Men who can't cope are weak.
The theory that men are men, that women are women and that in addition to the obvious physical differences there are fundamental physiological and psychological differences which mean that men and women see the world through entirely different eyes and must, in consequence, respond entirely differently to identical stimuli is a nonsense. To a large extent the theory no longer applies to women. But it still applies to men.
Society has tried to define males and females in harsh black and white tones whereas in reality the truth is a vast variety of shades of grey. But society's rules and expectations mean that individuals who do not conform to the strict man-woman dichotomy tend to suffer agonies; feeling that they have failed themselves, their families and society. Many suppress and repress what they regard as `odd' or `unacceptable' feelings - with damaging psychological consequences.
Transvestism is a healthy release of feelings which are probably far more universal than is generally accepted. I suspect that those who condemn cross dressing most loudly are themselves probably struggling to cope with feelings which they do not understand and which they regard as unacceptable.
Crossdressing has been described as a `symbolic excursion across gender boundaries'. It is probably a healthier and more natural excursion than we realise for it enables a man to show his `softer side'. Male freedoms should include the right to express their femaleness, in just the same way that women have fought for and won the right to express their maleness. Anything else is sexist and unfair. Men should not be ashamed to show their female qualities; they should not be reluctant to let their emotions show, to ask for help and support and to combine traditional male toughness with the soft, gentle qualities which are hidden deep inside.
And women should do their best to encourage their men to show their femininity. These days it isn't women who need liberating but men.
There are many practical ways in which men can let their soft, feminine nature surface. They can learn to share their fears and admit to their vulnerability; they can learn to listen to their instincts more often and they can share their feelings with friends.
But it isn't always easy to do these things when you've spent decades doing the opposite.
And so increasing numbers of men are finding that there is a short cut. By dressing as women they can liberate their feminine, gentle side - and (temporarily at least) escape from their aggressive, ambitious, demanding masculine selves.
After all, women dress as men when taking on male attributes - the woman truck driver wears jeans and a plaid shirt and the woman executive wears a smart suit and carries a briefcase.
I believe that the benefits of cross dressing are great. In my view so many transvestites get stress relief from their crossdressing that doctors should consider encouraging some of their harassed male patients to try wearing womens' clothing in an attempt to escape from their day to day worries.
Many people still regard cross dressing as a joke. It is something that often attracts sneers and giggles. But if there were more transvestites in our society there would probably be fewer men suffering from heart disease, high blood pressure and ulcers. And that's no laughing matter.
Sadly, many of those who have found the courage to escape from the stresses of twentieth century life by putting on panties, bra, stockings and a dress still feel guilty about what they do.
It is time for the sneering to stop and the guilt to be banished. While women fighting for liberation burnt their bras men fighting for liberation are now wearing theirs.
Many transvestites admit that their fear of being found out neutralises much of the stress relieving benefit they feel from cross dressing. As someone who has gained great relief from stress by crossdressing and who has been fortunate enough to receive unqualified support from his partner I was saddened by many of the letters I received while preparing this report. It seems to me to be important that those transvestites who feel able to do so should be open about what they do. Transvestism will become accepted only when there is less secrecy. It is too easy for those who sneer or look down their noses to attack transvestites on the grounds that if they themselves are too embarrassed about what they do to admit to it in public then there must be something wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing but there is a great deal wrong with society.
:p