coping techniques for escapism?

[Asako]

I've analyzed a habit of mine and am in need of a bit of help. I'm also aware this is something better suited for a therapist to help with. However, the damned office hasn't moved me from the waiting list yet so I can't exactly ask a therapist this question yet.

I've spent the last 2-3 weeks doing practically nothing asides from work. I've hung out with my friends a few times but not like I used to. I've become a room hermit that does nothing but escape from their problems via computer/games. The stronger part of me is trying to shy away from reality. I really need to stop doing that. If I don't, I can't take care of ANYTHING. Job, transitioning, laundry, cleaning, programming, hanging out with friends, etc.. It's gotten to the point that I've lost my concept of "time". It sometimes feels like hours and days pass in the blink of an eye. I can't even tell you people if it's been only a few minutes or an hour since I started typing this post out.

Does anyone know of a method or three that can help one cope with or channel such behaviors into positive things? If I don't get this behavior of mine under control, it could effectively screw me out of starting my transition for a few more months. I.E. replacing spent savings meant for therapist visits. I'm trying to deal with it but sometimes, one has to reach out to others for a little bit of help or wisdom.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Can i then ask this ? what are you liveing for,.....

we can go through life with a oh whats the point of it all. better off .........you know where. been there. know what its like & bloody hard to hold on sod it all .

If we dont have something to hold on to we give up & the out look is pretty grim

At the time i was going through some aspects in my life i did not have that really far off goal to work towards yet it was there it was very clouded to the point of okay , get through life .

What changed for me was our daughter gave birth to a lovely little girl . who became my reason for continueing , life & some one to .....live for.....she keeped me alive. she keeped me going & with out her .....yes i wont go down that road.......

This little girl was for me my daughter who i could not give birth to. thats what this is all about, women understand what that means , more so those of us who can not give birth for what ever reason.

I looked ahead because we have spent a lot of time together camping meeting people staying with friends & just haveing a fantasic time together with out her i would have missed so much , we have 9 grandkids, & i would have missed out on them..

*I had to look ahead take hold of what i had & keep that goal or what ever we need , to look beyound our selfs yes things get us down.

Jos & i went through ....HELL.... for 8 years , we have got through that & pretty much intact , stronger for that & have a life that we would not have had if i bailed out, hey its not easy its bloody hard at times.

You know the saying focus on whats importaint what means a lot to you. dont give up when things / details life get hard, because youll lose the lot. i could have , what i had was this tiny little bundle of a child that i loved so much then & now shes allmost 9 ,

Youll never know what she means to me , may be you would if you stood in front of me & i told you , then youd see in my body langage & how i express my self concerning what Dejarn means to me,

For my self 16 years ago i began to live & grow yes as a female / woman. in the way i should have been able to some 54 years ago tho if i had not gone through all the details things i have done i would not be where or as strong a woman as i am now,

Look ahead focus on what you need, to work at what you need & grow , live & be who you can be ,if you like set some goals or look at this as a trip you are on & keep in mind your going some where & enjoy the trip & learn to be a part of that,

because if you dont youll miss 1 / 2 your life, get out be involved with people join groups have hobbys sports what ever it takes .

In my life iv had a hell of a lot of issues to over come to get through i wont say they are all sorted far from it i just dont let my issues stop me being who i should be or am & you know what i am accepted for who i am & yes have a life that far exceeds not haveing one,

Iv given of my expriance of my life not all of cause yet enough to show you when we change tact look around us & change our attitude to life & our selfs we can do a lot more to help ourselfs,

...noeleena...

[Kelly DeWinter]

Every day

Write on a card 3 things you need to do. laundry,clean dishes, vacume. Do 1, cross it off the list, repeat until list is complete. reward yourself after each item.

Get a light timer for your electrical outlet and set it for 30 mins and plug your computer monitor into it. set it for specific periods that you want to sleep, and short periods, that allow you to use computer, do chores when it is off

Do the same for getting out.

Join meetups.com great social activities there.

just remeber it takes 30 days to establish new habits.

[Frances]

It's called being disfunctional and the solution is often transition. Therapy is the next step. Good luck with everything.

[*Vanessa*]

Hi Asako - I may get hammered for this but you asked.

First what Frances is saying is correct. When I wrote this, I didn’t read the other posts so I don’t know if I agree or not to what they are saying, nor am I writing this in disagreement what they are saying. Most people here truly want to help, but whatever you do you must question everything that is being told to you.

To get through the day is much different than trying to leapfrog over an issue to get to transition. I will only talk to helping you get through the day. This technique is proven, it works and is useful. It is not a solution, you need to do additional work and most times with the help of a professional. To transition obviously you need the help of professionals. A few months is a relative term so I am assuming less than six and if it least than six what you request is going to be tough to achieve.

Meditation: If you learn to do simple breathing meditation, as many have, you can find relief but it is no cure. With the use of a timer you can trust that you have achieved 3, 5, 10, 15 minutes. Aim for 5 minutes to start. Google breathing meditation, your only goal after you have learnt to sit proper, is to focus on your breath. When thoughts come into your mind, look at them and let them go and return to concentrate on your breath. 2500 years of training can’t be all that bad. Do this early morning and late evening.

Maybe call your doctor, and let them know you are having this trouble. Maybe they can get you in sooner at least to see if you are ok. You can make it – call them.

[Asako]

@noeleena:I live with the hope that tomorrow will bring a better day than today. As long as I'm alive, things can always get better. Sure, the days can get worse too but that doesn't happen(usually) unless I make bad decisions or neglect my personal needs. That's basically what keeps me going.

@Frances: Dysfunctional? I agree that would be another way of putting the way things are for me.

@Vanessa:Hrm, that reminded me of an E-book that I may still have on the HD. One that goes a bit further than meditation and helps the body as well. I had followed the book for a while with wonderful results until I moved to where I live now. I think I still have that E-book too. I think I'll try calling the therapist's office tomorrow. I've been having mild anxiety attacks anytime I really start to dwell on the negative things in my life.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Inertia is an amazing concept..

however you can best think of breaking this cycle, keep at it... its a habit..whether its something that you will need help with, or something you can change on your own, tiny little bits of progress go along way when you feel this way.