chose X-dressing over date with girl...I'm worried

[Amanda Ellis]

Tonight I was asked by a very cute girl I met awhile back if I'd like to grab a drink and catch a show. Instead of saying yes, I stayed home, shaved my legs, put on a new pair of panties and did my nails. I find this girl very attractive, but wow, I really enjoyed my eve.
Still I'm a little worried I would do this.

[Alice Torn]

The way things are today, with relationships, and expectations, I can understand why you did this. I used to want to date as much as possible, but, the last few years, I am becoming content to be a confirmed bachelor, and live peacefully with my cats.

[miaTX86]

Amanda, I am in a very similar position. I had a very beautiful, very wealthy, very successful girl suddenly start emailing me after we ran into each other at "work." We went to professional school together but never spoke to each other. My interest in going out is 0, as I know I am more interested in cross-dressing at this point in my life. I have been in two serious gg relationships recently and also kind of feel like, been there done that.

Don't worry, there are others that feel the same way as you.

[JenniferR771]

Whatever you are doing--keep doing it. And next time, go with the girl and postpone shaving your legs till the next night.

[docrobbysherry]

I deal with this issue all the time, Amanda! Take this weekend for example:
I met a woman last week I kind of liked. I was hoping to meet her this weekend when I don't have my daughter. But, I'm hoping to work meeting her AROUND the big dressing event I have planned for Sherry!

I've had a similar conflict come up CONTINUALLY! Trading time with Sherry for time with dates, friends, and family! It doesn't feel rite, does it?

[prene]

Whatever you are doing--keep doing it. And next time, go with the girl and postpone shaving your legs till the next night.

I agree with Jennifer.

You need to get out.
You can shave and wear panties . . . just do you toe nails.

No risk no gain

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Amanda, some times I just need a little ( me time ) and nothing else matters.

Orchid

[Cynthia Anne]

Amanda you are not alone here! I've lost count of the time I've done that! Don't worry you will know when to go out! Just enjoy life as you see it! Hugs!

[Imeni]

This is the most bizarre thread I've seen. Ever. Maybe it's because of who I am in general, and I'd like to state for the record, I'm not trying to be mean. But are you crazy? o.O

I can't speak for you, nor your activities, taste in women or where you are in your life to have chosen the response you did. But apparently some of the ladies here can side with you so at least you're not crazy.

But I'm almost twenty six. I've never been terribly well off in the ladies department. I'm sweet, and charming. Reasonably attractive and up until the last year or two, I was a generally pleasant person to be around. The side of me that women see is completely different from what I show others. Much like my crossdressing. lol. One friend went as far as to seriously question my luck with women. That I should sit each of my ex's down and after a set of questions, write a book about luck in dating. Rich overnight. :)

So I guess it seems a little bizarre that when a very cute girl asks YOU out, and by you I mean a man in general, not one of us, that you wouldn't immediatly jump at the chance for a night out. Even a brief one. Myself, I'd find out how open minded she is, how judgemental she was. And if i got a good vibe, I'd tell her what I do, answer any questions, and if she as awesome as she was attractive, maybe she'd go home with you and help you paint your nails or model that blouse? Ahh, dating women while wearing panties. Best feeling ever. =3

[ashlylynn]

Tonight I was asked by a very cute girl I met awhile back if I'd like to grab a drink and catch a show. Instead of saying yes, I stayed home, shaved my legs, put on a new pair of panties and did my nails. I find this girl very attractive, but wow, I really enjoyed my eve.
Still I'm a little worried I would do this.

Bahahahaha!

Congratulations - You're a girl. And you're waiting for her to show you that she really wants to be with you
by keeping up the pressure on you to go out on a date ... so you don't waste your time, y'know?

[Nelson]

Firstly I find nothing unusual about your decision. Time for yourself is essential and pampering your female ego is healthy. When you start becoming involved other people that "me time" quickly vanishes. You're going to want to share your feminine persona with someone when your ready. Maybe your female intuition told you she wasn't the one? You first, ok. Everyone else second.

[BRANDYJ]

I guess I could never be so deep in the pink fog as to choose dressing over a chance to date a woman...If I was single or otherwise unattached. I need and want a woan in my life so much more then the lonely act of being dressed and no place to go. so I find your decision unusual. I'd be worried too if I did what you did. But to each their own. I am forunate that I have a lady in my life now, and have had for most of my adult life. Each one of them knew and accepted that I crossdress. So I am blessed to be able to share this side of me with a woman that loves me as I love her.
Would I ever give up a chance to be with a rerally cute girl just to engage in a night of being fem? The answer is: Not in this lifetime. You might have passed up a chance to win over a girl that would in time accept you and your crossdressing. Not to be mean, but I'd worry too. I hope you work it all out.

[gabimartini]

That is such a male thought... just because she asked you out, and is cute, does not mean that you need to be automatically available. The real question is: are YOU interested in her? If so, you can ask her out for a drink another time. If not, then it matters little if you choose to shave your legs, watch football or read The Little Prince, just forget about it. After all, why would you want to go on a date with somebody you are not interested in?

[Karren H]

I've chosen crossdressing over lots of things before. And I shouldn't have. Especially things that are truly more important. Like anything related to family and friends... Relationships..... I don't do that any more.

[Kelly DeWinter]

A clear case for theapy if i've ever heard of one. Which will you choose a local counselor or a local nail salon ?:

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Sometimes a girl just has to have a girly time alone.

[Kittie]

As long as this doesn't replace your social life, there should be no problems.

[Natalie D]

I haven't come across this problem but I do understand.

I've been single for about 3 years and I'm happy this way. But I have often wondered about meting someone in the future. I dont know if I could be totally open right from the start about my CDing. Yes the only people that know are people on here. I'd find it almost impossible to date someone now. Just having to explain my shaved body would be a problem. Telling someone that I don't know well, would not be an option for me either.

If you do however really like this girl then I would say go out with her if the chance arises again. After all you have nothing to lose. I'm sure you can make time for an evening to yourself on another day.

[Ashley_Marie]

If that situation came up for me I would have to take a hard look at myself and then choose her. See I am 39 single and want children. So if a woman came up to me and asked me out I would jump at the chance to go out with her.

[Rachel Flowers]

This is just one of many myths of malehoodthat we CDs were put on this Earth to debunk - that men must jump at all chances with women. Nothing wrong with you.

[Ashley_Marie]

This is just one of many myths of malehoodthat we CDs were put on this Earth to debunk - that men must jump at all chances with women. Nothing wrong with you.

Depends on the man :) I would gladly jump at all chances. I can literally count on one hand how many times I have been on a date in my entire life. And to date, none of those dates turned into a serious relationship so I am still out there looking. So I would jump right now and say heck yeah if a woman came up to me and asked me if I wanted to get coffee with her.

[suchacutie]

And why is it you needed to choose one or the other? Why not go out, and when you get home you transform and enjoy your night!

In the best of worlds, when you explain to her that part of you is feminine, you will be going out as girlfriends.

I've never seen my transgendered side as mutually exclusive. It's just a part of my life, and it seems to be yours too.

The real question here is: are you using your transgendered self to hide from your male reality? or from reality in general. Please think about this as introversion is not usually positive.

tina

[docrobbysherry]

That is such a male thought... just because she asked you out, and is cute, does not mean that you need to be automatically available. The real question is: are YOU interested in her? If so, you can ask her out for a drink another time. If not, then it matters little if you choose to shave your legs, watch football or read The Little Prince, just forget about it. After all, why would you want to go on a date with somebody you are not interested in?
What a beautifully written, rite to the point post, Gabi! If the woman in question excited me, Sherry'd be left waiting in my closet! For who knows how long!

When I was younger, any woman that wanted me, had me! After some REALLY BAD experiences with what I THOT were HOT women, I discovered a new word to use with them, "NO!"
These days, I'M pretty picky! And, I KNOW how exciting Sherry is! Lol!

[RachelOKC]

Sometimes you need some "me" time and there's nothing wrong with that. One case certainly doesn't make a trend so there's no need to dwell on it. Just be mindful if you're continually turning away others to pay attention to yourself.

There is something to be said for being out and open about one's TG nature. When you don't have to hide, you don't have to make those kind of either/or choices as often. Sure, your date might not be interested in your TG nature, but then again she might be. You never know until you try.

[Amanda Ellis]

And why is it you needed to choose one or the other? Why not go out, and when you get home you transform and enjoy your night!

In the best of worlds, when you explain to her that part of you is feminine, you will be going out as girlfriends.

I've never seen my transgendered side as mutually exclusive. It's just a part of my life, and it seems to be yours too.

The real question here is: are you using your transgendered self to hide from your male reality? or from reality in general. Please think about this as introversion is not usually positive.

tina

That I'm not dealing with the real world - that's exactly what worries me about cross-dressing in general Tina. I've wrestled with trying to incorporate or hide this side of myself since adolescence.

[Miranda-E]

Tonight I was asked by a very cute girl I met awhile back if I'd like to grab a drink and catch a show. Instead of saying yes, I stayed home, shaved my legs, put on a new pair of panties and did my nails. I find this girl very attractive, but wow, I really enjoyed my eve.
Still I'm a little worried I would do this.

I'd have done my nails, put on something appropriate for a show and gone with her.

[Amanda Ellis]

Bahahahaha!

Congratulations - You're a girl. And you're waiting for her to show you that she really wants to be with you
by keeping up the pressure on you to go out on a date ... so you don't waste your time, y'know?

Thanks - I love being called a girl...although that might explain the problem (turning down dates with women to be girly)

[Amanda Ellis]

What a beautifully written, rite to the point post, Gabi! If the woman in question excited me, Sherry'd be left waiting in my closet! For who knows how long!

When I was younger, any woman that wanted me, had me! After some REALLY BAD experiences with what I THOT were HOT women, I discovered a new word to use with them, "NO!"
These days, I'M pretty picky! And, I KNOW how exciting Sherry is! Lol!

I am interested in her, but I just got out of a relationship a few months ago and went through a lot of frustration with not being able to dress (much) or shave my legs. So I've been enjoying some girl time. But I worry about the bigger picture, closing off social life, meeting someone and having a fulfilling relationship. It's always the same debate, be a guy and keep the dressing to a min, or embrace it more fully (as I did a number of years ago, more than I care to remember), sometimes I really regret that I didn't 'go for it' more when I was slim and hot. Then again I like being in relationships with women (most of the time) and didn't want to completely give up on being masculine...sigh does this ever get easier?

[sandra-leigh]

I guess I could never be so deep in the pink fog as to choose dressing over a chance to date a woman...

And if you had a particular event to go to that you had already bought the tickets for and bought new clothes for? An existing commitment such as an aunt's 50th birthday party should be no more (and no less) real than firm existing plans to dress.

These days I have skipped vague outing plans in favor of going home, eating a sandwich, and reading a book. Some days you just need a Time Out.


I can literally count on one hand how many times I have been on a date in my entire life. And to date, none of those dates turned into a serious relationship so I am still out there looking.

I could count my dates on one finger, and that one was a failure that did not even lead to further communication. We just didn't get along and we could tell pretty quickly.

Somehow I have managed to enter in to three relationships without dating (if you know someone for a while but are not dating, sometimes the relationship changes.)

I haven't had many invitations to dates; most of the few I have had have sent big warning signs up my spine. "Come home with me and we'll snort some" {cocaine, evangelical religion, whips and chains}.

[Chickhe]

What you should have done is invite her along for the ride!

[Ash Leland]

This forum can be a really healthy place to come to for problems like this. As you've seen, many here are very willing to tell you that there's no need to conform to the male convention of jumping at any opportunity for a relationship. A relationship consists of two (or more) people. If there's no you then there's no relationship, and strangely enough, it's easy to feel like you should abandon yourself for the sake of getting approval...as if you want nourishment, but won't put the real you out to receive it.

You know your preferences better than anyone else, and if you didn't want to go out, then you didn't want to go out. Good for you for valuing yourself over a stereotype! Not many people get there :D

Also, if you just got out of a relationship where you couldn't dress, I definitely think you owe it to yourself to do it now!

Best wishes!

[Ellyn]

Tonight I was asked by a very cute girl I met awhile back if I'd like to grab a drink and catch a show. Instead of saying yes, I stayed home, shaved my legs, put on a new pair of panties and did my nails. I find this girl very attractive, but wow, I really enjoyed my eve.
Still I'm a little worried I would do this.You have to get your ducks in a row, and set some priorities in your mind. I would never give up an evening of anything, for an evening with a very cute and attractive girl, especially one who had me in her sights which is a "dream fulfilled" situation. I would be more than "a little worried", I would be deeply concerned.

[suchacutie]

Amanda, I don't think that "hiding" from yourself in any dimension is pleasant, and, it's really not necessary. The fact is that some of us are simply transgendered, and that fact is not going away. And, there's no need for it to go away (IMHO). Most of the problems that I've seen presented on this forum are directly related to trying to put our feminine sides away, or keeping our feminine sides from reality, and by that I mean not accepting that we are transgendered. It is amazingly freeing to just look in the mirror and admit that a part of us is feminine. No big deal, really!

So, yes, explore your feminine side! Enjoy it. But....that doesn't take you away from the human race. Give that girl a call and again say that it was sad that we couldn't get together the other night, but that I'd love to sometime soon, and then see if you can pin down a day, like tomorrow :)

Go, have a good time, and if you get home early enough, paint your nails :)

Ok, so some people can't deal with those of us who present in two different genders. Well, some people are bigotted against all manner of minorities, so don't sweat the small stuff and just enjoy both of your gendered selves!

And of course, we all want to know about it :):):)

tina

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Can it be, that you worry about what will happen when it gets more serious with that girl? I must say, I would take every opertunity to meet girl, which I like - but I am not you ;)

I only know this from prefering dressing up at home and not going out with friends, where at some points I really became sad and swore myself not do skip my social life too often.

She does not know you crossdress, or?

[Dana7]

This is the most bizarre thread I've seen. Ever. Maybe it's because of who I am in general, and I'd like to state for the record, I'm not trying to be mean. But are you crazy?

Imeni, I can't say that I fault your youthful enthusiasm about pursuing what looks like a pretty good opportunity... but at the risk of getting pounded by the GGs on this site, I have to say that after you've been around the track a few times, a guy can get a bit gunshy about starting a new relationship. Relationships can be tough and by comparison, CDing can be very comforting. So I have to go with the ones who say that I definitely understanding taking a bit of "Me Time" over the risks of hazarding a new and unpredictable relationship even if she is attractive.



I am interested in her, but I just got out of a relationship a few months ago and went through a lot of frustration with not being able to dress (much) or shave my legs. So I've been enjoying some girl time.


This explains everything. And proves my point.

[Stephanie47]

Maybe subconsciously you dread having to 'come clean' about your cross dressing and are trying to avoid the issue. Pure speculation. When I was thinking of proposing to my wife forty years ago, I had no cross dressed (in the most rudimentary form) for over two years and had no desire to cross dress. That did not stop me from thinking of that past activity. Frankly, it scared the heck out of me.

If I were your age I would not choose cross dressing for the evening over the chance to be with a knock out young woman. I am not exclusively cross dressing orientated. Now, at my age if I were single again through death of a spouse, I'd be exclusively a cross dresser- unless I met a woman who loved cross dressers. :)

[BRANDYJ]

I am interested in her, but I just got out of a relationship a few months ago and went through a lot of frustration with not being able to dress (much) or shave my legs. So I've been enjoying some girl time. But I worry about the bigger picture, closing off social life, meeting someone and having a fulfilling relationship. It's always the same debate, be a guy and keep the dressing to a min, or embrace it more fully (as I did a number of years ago, more than I care to remember), sometimes I really regret that I didn't 'go for it' more when I was slim and hot. Then again I like being in relationships with women (most of the time) and didn't want to completely give up on being masculine...sigh does this ever get easier?

Amanda, I am glad you explained that you just got out of a relationship and the frustration you endured while in it. That changes things a little. So now you are experiencing your more feminine side that was not allowed to come out as much, if at all while in that relationship. So while licking your wounds you entered the pink fog. You kind of put youmasculinene side away while you allow your feminine side to come out more. OK, I get it. But your concern as to why you would l do this might be because you are not ready to enter another relationship so soon. Still, I think you could have accepted the offer angoneme out with her. It might have been fun. And who knows, you might have found a woman that in time you could be serious with. And if you do see her and date her, you can learn more about her and her feelings about many things including her views on anything related to sexuality, such as her views on gays, bi's, and those with any kind of gender gifted lifestyles. The point is, get to know her, go slow and keep your fem side out if it until you gain a feeling that she might be accepting. That is IF your feelings for her grow. You already said she's cute and you could be interested. Let me put it this way... keep your pants and socks on to hide the shaved legs and painted toenails until and IF the relationship grows to equal interest in taking it further. Then before anything intimate, explain to her that you are a crossdresser. Again, this is only after you get a feeling that she is open and non-judgmental. So as someone else suggested, call her and ask her out. Get back to a social life before you end up alone and all dressed up and no place to go or worse yet, no one to go with. So let us know if you call her and see her again. OK?

[jillleanne]

Why? What's wrong with wanting to spend some quality time by yourself? Some days I would rather go snowmobiling, or cruising the boulevard by myself than spend it with a woman. Sometimes we just want to do our thing. Not a big deal.

[taís]

hiya Amanda! I think this is an important thread, thanks for sharing your thoughts. and I believe there's a lot of good advice here ^ ^

some girls say you should've jumped at the oportunity. I think they're right. sometimes you get only one chance, and the dressing can always wait. (can it??) ...just don't stress out the relationship thing too much or too fast -- go out, enjoy the show, see how you feel. if you don't feel ok just don't see her again. but go to the gig; even if you force yourself a little, just to prevent isolating yourself. maybe tell yourself "ok, I'm gonna stay an hour, if I don't feel comfortable I'll go back home (and dress)". perhaps that was a girl who would understand a guy's femme side? better go and check it out ^ ^
(please note that when I say "force yourself a little", I don't mean doing anything that would do you harm, or make you sad. that is just in case you feel like you need an extra push from yourself to don't get that isolating feeling afterwards.)

some other girls say you shouldn't feel bad about refusing a nice date offer. and I think they're also right. Gabi in particular said it perfectly. in the end, truth is you didn't go because you didn't wanted to, and that may be hard to face... but it's _your_ choice and it doesn't matters to anyone. you didn't wanted to go because you left a relationship and wants some private time, because you're enjoying other things at the moment, (insert any reason here)... but your choice shouldn't make you feel bad in any way.


But I worry about the bigger picture, closing off social life, meeting someone and having a fulfilling relationship. It's always the same debate, be a guy and keep the dressing to a min, or embrace it more fully

you raised an eyebrow and you're concerned about yourself, which is very important ^ ^ cding life can be isolating and this is not a fun, healthy way to live.
I think you should really consider searching for a relationship where you can crossdress. otherwise you'll either be isolated or suffocated. I think Stephanie (#36) may have a hint...?

lots of love to you. ;x

[ReineD]

I am interested in her, but I just got out of a relationship a few months ago and went through a lot of frustration with not being able to dress (much) or shave my legs. So I've been enjoying some girl time. But I worry about the bigger picture, closing off social life, meeting someone and having a fulfilling relationship. It's always the same debate, be a guy and keep the dressing to a min, or embrace it more fully (as I did a number of years ago, more than I care to remember), sometimes I really regret that I didn't 'go for it' more when I was slim and hot. Then again I like being in relationships with women (most of the time) and didn't want to completely give up on being masculine...sigh does this ever get easier?

You'll have to find a way to keep a balance, and this means finding a GG that you can confide in so you can be yourself. They are out there, you know! :)

I don't blame you for being concerned. If you are attracted to her, then it means you realize that you are isolating yourself which is not emotionally healthy. You don't want your world to start to shrink. Many of the members here said there was nothing wrong with spending some quality alone time and this is true, but if you are bothered by your decision to have turned her down this means that your behavior is sending up red flags. You need to pay attention to this.

So ... take her up on that date. Call her. See her a few times and see if sparks begin to fly. You can dress on nights in between your dates. And if you feel that things are progressing nicely and you can trust her, tell her about the CDing. You might be pleasantly surprised.

[Lorileah]

You are not as attracted to her as you think you are to start with. You may think she is pretty but there is something missing there that made you make a decision to be with yourself.

I see pretty women and I don't pursue them because I "THINK" I see something that would become a bigger issue. I see women who I would like to take to dinner maybe more but then I see that they like "bad boys" maybe and I am not one (And I cannot be) or they drink too much (and drunk girls are not as enticing as they used to be), or something else. Getting older has its problems. Whereas 30 years ago I would chase and hope for at least a one nighter, now I want a week or a month at least.

[docrobbysherry]

I am interested in her, but I just got out of a relationship a few months ago and went through a lot of frustration------------------------------------------Then again I like being in relationships with women (most of the time) and didn't want to completely give up on being masculine...sigh does this ever get easier?
Unless you're one of the LUCKY ONES who finds a GG that is OK with your dressing AND compatible with u in the other important things u find attractive in a GF, the answer is, "NO"!

Another alternative is to come out to everyone. For the rest of us single closet dressers it only gets more complicated as u get older, Amanda!

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I just don't understand why you didn't do both. Dress up enfemme and go out on a date with her, you never know what could happen. The choice you made left much doubt in ever having a meaningful relationship with her, what did you have to lose???

[Amanda22]

You chose to do what you wanted to do, right? I see nothing to be worried about.

[kimdl93]

So ... take her up on that date. Call her. See her a few times and see if sparks begin to fly. You can dress on nights in between your dates. And if you feel that things are progressing nicely and you can trust her, tell her about the CDing. You might be pleasantly surprised.

I have a bit of practical experience here. In the year or two following the divorce from my first wife, I had a hard time allowing myself to go out, meet new people and enjoy life. In some sense, it was self inflicted punishment for a failed relationship. It wasn't healthy, and it was self defeating. After I passed on a date with an attractive woman, my therapist finally called me on it and said - "what exactly is wrong with allowing yourself to have a little fun".

So, as Reine suggests, call her up and taker up on the date offer. Its not an LTR, its a date. You don't have to tell her your every secret, nor commit to a future together. Just enjoy some human interaction. Maybe something will come of it. And if not, no harm - no foul.

[MissTelegothika]

Hi Amanda,

I'd agree with the major pieces of advice here: Only date her if you genuinely fancy her & explore your reason for wanting to be alone rather than in her company on this occasion. Work those two things out & the answer to what you'll do next time should be clearer & should probably not warrant over-thinking.

I hope this situation works out for you in t'end.

Originally Posted by ashlylynn
"Bahahahaha!

Congratulations - You're a girl. And you're waiting for her to show you that she really wants to be with you
by keeping up the pressure on you to go out on a date ... so you don't waste your time, y'know?"

I think I can be like that too, so your not alone on that one.

[Barbara Ella]

It is a wonderful point in our lives when we can make decisions freely and fit our life to those decisions. Your decision is not wrong if you are happy with it.

The only point I will make, is the hair on your legs will come back and you will enjoy the shave again, a truly nice girl who is interested in you might not come back.

Decisions, decisions, decisions...what is a girl to do.

Babes

[Elsa Larson]

IMHO, this girl needs to know up front about your crossdressing.

Don't worry, telling becomes easier with experience.

BTW, my icon picture was snapped by my girlfriend before we went to a Halloween themed local singles dance. I had told her of my crossdressing the night we met.

[Cari]

Maybe subconsciously you dread having to 'come clean' about your cross dressing and are trying to avoid the issue.)

I have not pursued relationships because I wasnt sure that coming clean would go well. Nothing sub concious about it.

I wouldn't worry about turning down a last minute offer; I hope you took a rain check :-)
You had plans that evening that were important to you;
most likely you would have been a lousy date anyways since you would be thinking about the planned session that you are missing :-).
If you start standing people up; or never dating that might be a problem.

[GeminaRenee]

Well, I thought I should put my $0.02 in also, even though a lot of people have already said things of similar sentiment...

I wouldn't worry so much that you put your dressing first - dressing is a part of life for us. To deny it is unhealthy and repressive. There's nothing crazy about fulfilling your need to do what comes naturally.

At the same time, I think about the old latin rallying cry: "Carpe Diem!" Life is short, and it's always a mistake to let an opportunity fall by the wayside. Sometimes real life just gives you a short window to step in and make something of an opportunity.

But... I don't think your need to dress and the chance to go out with a girl you're interested in are mutually exclusive. You always could, as others have suggested, keep your legs covered and go out with this young lady to see what happens. No harm, no foul. There's no need to make a big reveal on date number 1 or 2. You might even find out that she's the right kind of open minded, that you might be willing to take The Big Chance down the road, that she might be someone you could have your cake and eat it too. Like Reine said, there are GG's that are open and accepting. But you'll never find out if you don't avail yourself of that window of opportunity.

I can really empathize with the frustration you feel in terms of feeling like you have to choose between your girl side and being a guy that dates. I'm not sure that it does get any easier - I'm trying to find that out for myself. For me, it's easier to realize that by stifling myself and dating women that I know are incompatible with my feminine side, I'm not doing myself any real favor. So it seems the only real solution is to acknowledge that part of myself, to dress when I want to dress, and just take those chances with women when they come along - knowing that it may or may not work out.

I hope this makes sense to you, and I hope you're able to come to a workable solution for yourself. But maybe remember that if you say no to a potential, you're just making your chances of finding some kind of happiness a little slimmer - even if the world seems slanted against you in the first place. Just think about all the times in your life you've walked out your front door and something totally unexpected happens that never would have happened if you'd just stayed inside. You just never know.

Hope this helps, and good luck! (:

[Allisa]

Well I don't think I ever passed up an invitation to go out with a girl, cute or not, but then that was a long time ago and I was a horn dog(male ****).But there were times when I would blow off my buds to stay home and explore my feminine side A.K.A.Lisa.Not knowing how young you are and how experienced you are, not to worry there is still time to be the man you are,but little time to explore the young feminine you and all the trappings of girldom.Now when I go out with a woman its on a more intellectual level and somewhat on the femme side on occasion which has led to some very platonic "girl"friendships.In case your wondering I'm in my 50's and single and still going strong.Worrying only makes you grey.Bye-Bye.