Do you think that the SA knew?

[naye]

Hi, I just went to payless shoes, and I was in the big size women section of the store just looking all the shoes (size 11 and 12) and spent some time there, all the time that I was at the store I was the only customer, after some time, the SA made eye contact with me and asked me if I had luck finding some shoes, and I just asked her if she had one model in size 11, she quickly check in his computer the inventory without luck, but she told me in which payless store I will find them and gave me a coupon for a $6 discount in those shoes,she was very friendly.

After I leave the store I was wondering if she imagine that the shoes where for me, because honestly, how many men do you think spend more than 20 minutes in a store looking for shoes in those sizes and asking for a particular model?

I am planning in going tomorrow morning again, and maybe be honest to her, and maybe why not, even try the shoes that I like to be sure of my size, what do you think?

[Melody1985]

She may have known, but I believe even if she did, she wouldnt care.

Also, it sounded like she gave you a coupon and information to go to another store. Why would you go back to that store if they didnt have your size in the shoes you were looking at?

[ME2.0]

I think some SA's desperately want to help crossdressers, but they are just as shy and awkward as we are. I think alot of them help us without us knowing it. There is compassion in the world yet, even for crossdressers. Also, 11's are getting into the very large sizes for women, and she could probably guess that you would be close--shoes are her business after all... You really have nothing to lose and she sounds like she's trying to help you, I'd give her the chance. Just start out with "Umm, this is kind of awkward for me, but I'm a beginning crossdresser, and I'd really love some good advice on how a shoe should fit. Can you please help me?" I've got a feeling she'd probably take you up on the offer.

Best of luck to you!

Staci

[naye]

She may have known, but I believe even if she did, she wouldnt care.

Also, it sounded like she gave you a coupon and information to go to another store. Why would you go back to that store if they didnt have your size in the shoes you were looking at?

Well, honestly I asked for some shoes in that size just because I didnt knew what to said :o, not because I was 100% interested in those particular shoes, the SA was quite friendly.

[naye]

I think some SA's desperately want to help crossdressers, but they are just as shy and awkward as we are. I think alot of them help us without us knowing it. There is compassion in the world yet, even for crossdressers. Also, 11's are getting into the very large sizes for women, and she could probably guess that you would be close--shoes are her business after all... You really have nothing to lose and she sounds like she's trying to help you, I'd give her the chance. Just start out with "Umm, this is kind of awkward for me, but I'm a beginning crossdresser, and I'd really love some good advice on how a shoe should fit. Can you please help me?" I've got a feeling she'd probably take you up on the offer.

Best of luck to you!

Staci

Yes, thats true, I think she was also shy to me, maybe thats why she let pass almost 15 minutes before coming to me eventhough I was the only client in the store, I think I will go with her again, and try to be brave enough to open to her, and lets see what happen, honestly as soon as I leave the store, I started thinking about how obvious I was and she should notice that does shoes where for me.

[Melody1985]

I understand naye.. That makes sense. If you get too hung up on being found out, you can always say you need shoes because you're in performance arts or something like that, if you don't want her to believe you crossdress on your own free time..

[naye]

I understand naye.. That makes sense. If you get too hung up on being found out, you can always say you need shoes because you're in performance arts or something like that, if you don't want her to believe you crossdress on your own free time..

I think that if I accept that are for me I wont tell her any lie, maybe that can be one of my babysteps getting out.
Thanks for your comments =o)

[AllieSF]

I think that most if not all SA's at Payless have seen men shopping for larger sized women's shoes. I don;t think that you really need to be detailed about who and what you are. Just asking like you said about the size is more than enough. A comment like "I have problems finding comfortable shoes in my size" will be more than enough to break the ice and let out your secret without trying to explain something that does not need to be explained. The SA's at Payless are very helpful to the extent that they can be and I have heard of very few if any issues with shopping there. Good luck finding some shoes, and enjoy the experiences, they are all good even when at the moment they do not seem so good.

[April_Ligeia]

If you go into the store and try on the shoes you want, after you leave there, especially if you buy something you love, you'll wonder why you balked at the idea. On the other hand, I wear a women's size 14, which I can not find in any store, so I buy shoes on line. I buy clothes in male mode though, I just pick out what I want and walk up to the register as if there is nothing out of the ordinary in a man buying skirts, blouses, etc., and I invariably get treated the same way, as if nothing is out of the ordinary. They must know the clothes are for me, but really, who cares? I don't even know them.

[naye]

Thank you all for your comments, and you think that trying on the shoes would be going a little to far?, maybe making her uncomfortable or something?, Definitely I think I will go again tomorrow tho the same store hoping to find the same SA.

[AllieSF]

Naye, go back tomorrow and try on whatever shoes that you want. Just make sure to use those little disposable nylon footies found in boxes sometimes at the end of some of the aisles. Payless is self serve, so that is what you are supposed to do, try them on before buying. Also, the SA's in Payless are normally not as experienced as the SA's in regular shoe stores where you sit down as the SA goes to get your size. Good luck.

[angpai30]

A couple of nights ago i did some shopping at Victoria Secret and one of the questions I always ask the SA's is "do you help many guys" the response has always been "a few here and there", but when I asked the SA at Victoria Secret her response was: Oh yeah, we have a few who come in on a regular basis!!

[ME2.0]

Yes, you should definately try them on!! Otherwise you're going to waste your money on a closet of shoes that you can't wear because they are either too uncomfortable, or don't fit. From a financial standpoint, would you rather spend your money on 3 great pairs that fit, or 1 pair that fits and 2 pair that you love and can't ever wear? Buy a pair that fit, and with the money you save on the others, buy yourself that pencil skirt that you think will go beautifully with them, or another pair that fit also!

Staci

[sandra-leigh]

In the city I live in, every Payless I have visited here, the SA's have picked up very quickly that I was shopping for myself, often without anything being said, and even if I hadn't tried anything on. It has never been a problem in this city.

I do seem to remember some very minor awkwardness in one Payless I visited somewhere, but that was years ago and in some smaller town.

Do I think the SA knew? Yes, quite possibly.

[naye]

Hi!!!, thank you all for your responses, I have just returned and bought one great pair of hells, I love them, I try a lot of different shoes, like 6 pairs, the SA was always smiling, we dont say anything about crossdressing or the shoes being for me, but it was quite obvious lol, I had a great time, fortunately any other client came to the store while I was there (I was at 10 am) and I think I'll always go back to that shop for my next shoe shopping.

=oD

[naye]

In the city I live in, every Payless I have visited here, the SA's have picked up very quickly that I was shopping for myself, often without anything being said, and even if I hadn't tried anything on. It has never been a problem in this city.

I do seem to remember some very minor awkwardness in one Payless I visited somewhere, but that was years ago and in some smaller town.

Do I think the SA knew? Yes, quite possibly.

Really?, how do you know that they figure it out?, specially if you say that foten was without anything being said?

Have a great day!!!

[Stephanie47]

I think if a man acts with professionalism and is tasteful dressed, i.e., not looking like a slob, most sales associates are willing to assist. At one Payless the male manager was the only person in the store and he had no problem helping. He even tried to get me to buy another at half price. A sale is a sale is a sale. Sales associates of any sort do not like lookie-looks, who take up a lot of time and had no intent on buying anything.

The only sales associates I found who were a little hesitant were new/temporary seasonal staff who have yet to encounter men buying for women or themselves and, up tight people who believe cross dressers are going to hell.

[Edyta_C]

As others have said, it doesn't matter. But I am amazed when I go to a shoe place to buy more ladies shoes, how many large size shoppers there are. I think the average lady's size is going up. I find a lot of girls in the 9.5 thru 11 sizes. Above size 11 are nearly non-existent (thanks be I am 9.5 to 10 for most heels). I think you should go. I usually wear knee highs under socks if en drab. You can use the footies most shops have.

Good hunting Edy

[Barbra P]

I’ve been in Payless on a number of occasions, always in drab, and never had a problem. My Daughter and I have gone a few times this year and I have tried on women’s shoes and walked around the store to see how they feel. Not only have I not had a problem, the SAs generally come over and ask if I’m finding anything I like, and even offer to check back stock if there is a shoe I like but not in my size. Talking with one SA I learned that a fairly sizable portion of their business is with cross dressers so I doubt that an SA that has worked there for awhile would have a problem with a man trying on women’s shoes. The last time I was there the SA told me that there were new shoes coming in next week so I should check back then.

[suchacutie]

I have shopped in Payless many times. Walk in with appropriate stockings on so you can try on your shoes. Take the shoes off the rack, try them on. The SA will come over and probably tell you about a sale if you buy two pairs! She won't bat an eyelash (unless she is flirting) and would be delighted to make you happy as she knows that CDs are some of her repeat sales! Some Payless SAs will immediately ask "are they for you". Say yes and they will help you every bit they can.

Payless is the best!

tina

[Miranda-E]

Hi, I just went to payless shoes, and I was in the big size women section of the store just looking all the shoes (size 11 and 12) and spent some time there, all the time that I was at the store I was the only customer, after some time, the SA made eye contact with me and asked me if I had luck finding some shoes, and I just asked her if she had one model in size 11, she quickly check in his computer the inventory without luck, but she told me in which payless store I will find them and gave me a coupon for a $6 discount in those shoes,she was very friendly.

After I leave the store I was wondering if she imagine that the shoes where for me, because honestly, how many men do you think spend more than 20 minutes in a store looking for shoes in those sizes and asking for a particular model?

I am planning in going tomorrow morning again, and maybe be honest to her, and maybe why not, even try the shoes that I like to be sure of my size, what do you think?

Yup, she knew.
She works in a payless, they sell more womens shoes to men than they do to women.
Whether she cares of not, no one knows, but she was professional and treated you with respect so it doesn't matter.
Different stock in different stores in the same city is SOP for payless. One store here almost never has anything in wide. I doubt you were being sent to a different store just to get rid of you.

[Lorileah]

The employees don't care who buys the shoes. She gave you the coupon so that you would still buy from her company so of course you may go back to her store later. Usually they will offer to have the shoes sent to their store or give you the web site address and tell you to have them shipped to their store to save shipping costs.

Its Payless....they want you to buy their shoes.

[Courtney]

The employees don't care who buys the shoes. She gave you the coupon so that you would still buy from her company so of course you may go back to her store later. Usually they will offer to have the shoes sent to their store or give you the web site address and tell you to have them shipped to their store to save shipping costs.

Its Payless....they want you to buy their shoes.

exactly!!!! if i dog came in there for a size 12 over the knee boot they would sell them to the dog without question!

[sandra-leigh]

Really?, how do you know that they figure it out?, specially if you say that foten was without anything being said?


I should have written, "often without anything having been said".

You get to know the little cues, such as when they wander over and say that the new season is coming in at the end of the next week, or mention that the purses are on sale too, or when they ask if there was a particular style you were looking for as they would be happy to check the computer to see if another store has them in your size. Or when they ask you about how you are enjoying the pair you bought last time :o

One of the members of our local club is a GG who owns a lingerie store. She described to me she always knows very quickly when a cross-dresser has come in, just by the way they look at the clothes and touch the clothes. (And if they touch the gaffs or the breast-forms, she becomes absolutely certain. Doesn't stop the guys from denying their interest the first few times they are in.)

I have spoken to other SAs in clothing retail, who have said they can usually tell by the way the guys approach the clothes rack, the focus they have, the directness of their movement. Non-crossdressing guys do wander in to women's clothing stores and do look at skirts or dresses sometimes, but they tend to look lost and tend to move fairly irregularly because they usually don't know what they are looking for or how to evaluate or size something when they see it. Cross-dressing guys do like women do: pull something out of a rack, give it the look up and down, and put it back; a typical non-crossdressing guy will prefer to look at the merchandise that is on the mannequins or that is on display, and will not often go through the racks, especially not purposefully.

The SAs also said that they become certain if a guy fingers the material of clothes as they look: non-CD'ers looking to buy something will not often do that nor do it consistently.

Now, it is true that I was doing all of those give-away behaviors when I truly was shopping for my wife, before I even knew I was a cross-dresser, but we all know how that ended up: with a big case of :bonk: as I realized how much I'd really been doing it for myself. :doh:

I would be almost certain that in shoe stores there are similar cues.

[DanaR]

naye, let me make this suggestion. Call the store, at about the same time of day that your were there. Ask her if she was the one that helped you the other day and suggested trying this other store for larger sizes. If she was the one, then tell her that you are just starting crossdressing and ask her if she would help you with your sizes. If whoever you are talking to isn't the one, then ask who was working that day and what day they would be back. When you find the right SA and she is ok with this, she will tell you, and then you could arrange a good time to visit again.

[naye]

Hi, thank you everybody for your responses, I think I'll be a Payless frequent client.


Usually they will offer to have the shoes sent to their store or give you the web site address and tell you to have them shipped to their store to save shipping costs.

Its Payless....they want you to buy their shoes.

That would be great, but unfortunately here in Canada payless don't have that service, so sometimes it can be quite difficult to find the right shoes, I will be returning from time to time to that store to keep searching for shoes in my size.