Developing my feminine voice

[connie23]

Hi!
I have been planning an outing up in Boston and I want to be able to speak like the Connie that I want to be. I have been watching some you tube videos and I bought a recorder so I could practice and become more natural in my higher register, but I still feel like I will sound like a guy speaking in falsetto.
Have any of you had success developing a natural voice to pass once you engage in a conversation?
Any words of encouragement would be so helpful,
Hugs,
Connie

[Nicole Erin]

long story short - learn to restrict the lower part of your voice somewhat. things like yawning, speaking in falsetto just to "feel" the voice, and speaking in your deepest tone while feeling those muscles will put you on the path to learning how to control the voice muscles to alter your voice.

so once you can slightly constrict the lower 1/2 of your voice muscles, you are totally ready to fine-tune.

The hardest part is getting over the silly feelings you may have at first with practicing.

Also, you may not like your femme voice but who likes their own voice anyways?
You will not somehow lose your ability to speak in your normal man voice either, contrary to what some TS might claim.

[gabimartini]

I've sorry, but I can't sugarcoat it. This is probably one of the hardest skills to master. Takes a LOT, and I do mean a LOT, of time, persistence and practice. And only perfect practice makes perfect. Have you heard of Andrea James? Kathe Perez? Look them up on Google, might be a good place to start correctly. Falsetto is hardly the way to go, because you'll sound like Mickey Mouse, rather than the GG you are MEANT to sound like. The good news is that it is possible, no surgery is required. Good luck!

[Nicole Erin]

I've sorry, but I can't sugarcoat it. This is probably one of the hardest skills to master. Takes a LOT, and I do mean a LOT, of time, persistence and practice.

while that is true about perfecting it (Mine still isn't at a level i would like but it works) it should not take more than a couple weeks or in some cases maybe a few days to get a "functional" femme voice.
The reason people think it is so hard is cause those instructional videos tend to ramble and the good stuff is is buried.

The best part - learn to slightly restrict the lower part of the voice.
The hardest part really is getting over the silly feelings you will have at first. As always, confidence is the key

[S. Lisa Smith]

Your voice, even of you're perfect it, will sound funny to you. I took voice lessons and I am told that my femme voice sounds realistic but I still think it sounds funny. It does take practice, practice and more practice. Try to use a head voice and that should help.

[BethCD]

I think ( hope) what S. Lisa Smith means by that is to speak from your mouth and not from your "deep" throat as you may usually do...........If you project from your mouth , rather than deep from your chest as you may normally do, the sound will be softer. Something to try. Hope I didn't mis-understand your meaning S. Lisa........

Beth

[S. Lisa Smith]

Actually it is even "higher" than that. It is from the nasal cavity, you actually get a buzz "behind" your nose. But it's not a nasal tone. It took me about 3 weeks with voice lessons until I got it. It only took me about three half hour lessons to get the technique down, then it was practice, practice, practice!!! I met a woman as Lisa who had never heard my male voice. When I spoke to her using my male voice she was amazed. I would get a voice coach but it can be done.

[Stephenie S]

It is important to remember that a stranger has NO idea what your voice sounds like. You do, so to YOU your voice may sound weird. But to someone who does not know you, your voice is just your voice.

So sound as weird as you want. Many women sound funny. Listen to that woman on Will and Grace (the rich one who supposedly works for Grace). She sounds pretty weird, right? Women's voices are all over the map. Relax.

S

[Contessa]

Hope this helps anyone of you. Try singing in a higher register then try talking in that register. If you can talk try going higher. A little bit higher not too high. Remember do ra me fa so la ti do. Next try singing at that register then talk at that register if your voice crackles then that is it. Now come down a bit until you can talk easily. That is your feminine voice. Try to realize who you sound like. I think I sound like Whoopi Goldberg. But she is a woman. I'm happy. Remember Bea Arthur or Lani O'Grady some women have deep voices. Find one and try to sound like her.

Let me know if this helps. It doesn't take long. Think like a woman. How would she ask for a drink, it isn't the same as a man. Use feminine mannerisms. Look and Smile Always Smile. Ask a woman a GG or FAB How do you ask for a soda or a drink at a casino. It will be different and make all the difference in trying to speak like a woman.

Don't try to sound like a little girl just feminine.

Good Luck

Tess

[connie23]

Hi!
Thank you one and all. I really never understood the advice to raise up the sound in my throat and develop a head voice. Now, I think I get it. I practiced for almost an hour yesterday and I think I am making progress. It is so nice to have a group of friends ready to give encouragement AND practical advice. I have set a goal of January to make my trip to the Sisters group in Boston where I want to talk as Connie the whole evening.
What do you think? Is that a reasonable goal?
Thank you again, sincerely,
Connie

[Acastina]

... Try singing in a higher register then try talking in that register. If you can talk try going higher. A little bit higher not too high. Remember do ra me fa so la ti do. Next try singing at that register then talk at that register if your voice crackles then that is it. Now come down a bit until you can talk easily. That is your feminine voice. Try to realize who you sound like. I think I sound like Whoopi Goldberg. But she is a woman. I'm happy. Remember Bea Arthur or Lani O'Grady some women have deep voices. Find one and try to sound like her.

Let me know if this helps. It doesn't take long. Think like a woman. How would she ask for a drink, it isn't the same as a man. Use feminine mannerisms. Look and Smile Always Smile. Ask a woman a GG or FAB How do you ask for a soda or a drink at a casino. It will be different and make all the difference in trying to speak like a woman.

Don't try to sound like a little girl just feminine.

Good Luck

Tess
Good advice. Being a singer (high baritone into tenor) helped me a lot in arriving at a realistic pitch. Most people never give their voice a second thought and are often startled when they hear it recorded. Feedback, feedback, feedback. Audio recording equipment is cheap and easy to use these days (when I was growing up, a mono reel-to-reel was state-of-the-art), so get a mic and a portable recorder and practice. Nicole Erin has it right: "The hardest part really is getting over the silly feelings you will have at first."

A good drill for Contessa's suggestion to emulate a voice you like is to find a movie with an actress with a deeper voice (Anne Bancroft in The Graduate and anything by Lauren Bacall come to mind) and parrot her lines back throughout the movie. With DVD/DVR/streaming content, it's easy to back up and repeat. Women tend to enunciate more clearly, use less profanity and slang, and end many statements with a rising, questioning inflection.

I lived full-time for most of a decade in the 1980s, and I never did get convincing over the phone; so be it. I did have an interesting (and revealing) encounter with an admirer in a San Francisco club a few years back when our CD group was having a night out together. We were chatting at the bar for a while, and he complimented me for not having a phony-sounding made-up voice like some of the other gurls there. I dropped back to my default male voice and said something like, "Thanks, but not really." He nearly fell off his stool. My wife noticed right away (we met in that CD group, so she knew about me from the start) that I seamlessly and unconsciously switch back and forth depending on how I'm dressed.

When you can get it to that automatic binary of two distinct, believable tones and speech patterns, then you can stop fretting over it and just enjoy the diversity of your life. It's a course of study, though, so be diligent and patient. Looking the part is easy by comparison, but there's nothing like looking and sounding the part.

[Veronica Lodge]

I didn't find it the undaunting task that I initially thought it would be. It's difficult, no doubt about it, but I think everyone could achieve their voice if they put in the hard work at the beginning. It took about 2 weeks, 90 minutes a day. Mindlessly dull & repetitive exercises..lots of discouraging audio sifted through...but you'll be thankful for it because one day it just appeared while reading Dr. Seuss out loud.

I think it was If I Ran The Circus
It's true that it takes years to perfect...but it doesn't take long to find a voice that you're comfortable with and once you find it, practicing it becomes a whole lot more fun.

Good luck.

[Inna]

Good luck hon, practice and as you can see, I have typed this post in totally female voice :D

[S. Lisa Smith]

Hi!
Thank you one and all. I really never understood the advice to raise up the sound in my throat and develop a head voice. Now, I think I get it. I practiced for almost an hour yesterday and I think I am making progress. It is so nice to have a group of friends ready to give encouragement AND practical advice. I have set a goal of January to make my trip to the Sisters group in Boston where I want to talk as Connie the whole evening.
What do you think? Is that a reasonable goal?
Thank you again, sincerely,
Connie
I believe that it is a very reasonable goal, especially if you practice for an hour a day.