Probably an old question, but - since when do you know, that you are transsexual?

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Hello, I wonder if there is a special age, where you become aware of being in the wrong body? You do often read about childs of 3 to 6 years, which already know this about themselves.

So is there kind of a general rule? Like until 6 years -> transsexual.

Further, if the desire starts first in puberty or maybe later, is there maybe a general or average rule, that than people become more likely crossdressers and not transsexual?

Probably this general stuff does not fit at all ^^, but I really do wonder! Love to read your answers and opinions. :)

[Melissa Jill]

Theres not really any general rule for this kind of thing, it varies so wildly. Some people know ever since they were litle, some not until they are a lot older. Im not sure if Im transexual, but it wasn't until a few months ago I ever gave it some serious thought.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Sophie, there are probably as many answers to your question as there are people on the planet.

Some of us are conscious of knowing when we were quite young (in my case 7 or 8) but then fighting it or not understanding; it seems that others only discovered there was something wrong later in life.

I know that some of us try to use cross-dressing as a coping mechanism to avoid admitting that we need to transition. I tried that but it didn't work. However, I don't think that you become transsexual. In my not so humble opinion you either are transsexual (from birth) or you are not regardless of whether your dysphoria becomes so acute that you have to act upon it.

[Inna]

At age 7 I realize that I am "DIFFERENT"

Since age 7 to 41 I crossdress as much as I can....I suppose I know I am a "CROSSDRESSER"

at age 41 I realize that the reoccurring dream of being a woman is as far fetched of an idea as going to Venus, I decide to end my life!

at age 41 past the failed attempt I am given 2 options, repeat what failed or begin living in truth..............I select 2nd option

at age 43 I begin therapy and after 2 sessions I am pronounced a "TRANSSEXUAL" same time I begin HRT

at age 44 "I do travel to Venus"

[Sara Jessica]

I cannot imagine there could ever be some sort of discoverable pattern when it comes to our respective self-awareness. As the expression goes, YMMV is most appropriate within our community.

So I knew what was up from my earliest memories. Big deal. I didn't know what to call it and I certainly didn't act upon it as I could have or should have were I not a scared child. I don't think that by definition that makes me any more or less trans than anyone else who came to the realization at a later age. It is what it is.

[Bree-asaurus]

There is no rule. You're transexual from birth, but how you discover it has no boundries.

There was thread on this a couple days ago:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?165160-Awakenings-later-in-life

[Melody Moore]

As Inna said, for many kids they felt different, I felt like I was an alien, had no idea how I
was suppose to fit in and felt that noone understood me. By the time I hit puberty I had
been experimenting with dressing as a girl, so it was more of a question of I was meant
to be a boy or a girl. However by the age of 15 I knew without any doubts I wanted a sex
change. However 12 months later at the age of 16, I overheard some bigots talking very
lowly about some trans woman they knew and it was enough to scare me into repressing
my gender issues. However the question kept popping up in my head constantly like a nagging
itch that just wouldnt go away, especially after my girlfriend dressed me up one night at the
age of 26. However I still wasn't ready to deal with it and dumped that girl a few days later
because of what she stirred up within. I went back to repressing it again, however after
finally coming to the realisation this problem wasn't going to go away when I was about 44
years old, I decided to start to research transsexualism a lot more. I set myself the goal I
was going to transition when my youngest daughter turned 18 and felt my kids were mature
enough they could cope with it.

[Amber99]

I always knew that I should be a girl but I wasn't really aware I could do much about it. I hid it from my family all my childhood probably because the first time I tired to speak up about it I got a bad reaction out of somebody.

[Jorja]

If a person doesn't know by age 10 it is over! You can never join the TS club after that!........... Just kidding :)

Really, there is no age limit. Yes, most of us seem to know at a very young age we are different. Some try to acknowledge it at that point but are shut down by parents that do not understand or because it would be an embarrassment to them. Others repress their feelings and desires until later in life. I can't say all but most transsexuals do in fact start crossdressing as a child. This is not by any means a sexual or erotic fetishism for them. It is because they feel better mentally and physically dressed as the gender they should be. It is a matter of bringing the body into congruence with the mind.

[morgan51]

I knew at age 4 I was supposed to be different than I was I expeimented with makeup and clothes thru the youthful years not really knowing why. Married at 21 and began crossdressing on and off till age 55 then the need to transition began to really surface the last 4 years have been a real eye opener for me. I know I should have a female body. My mind has always been there, I'm probably too old to do much about that now at age 60.Not sure I want to go thru surgery at this age. I have found a lot of peace just admitting how I feel and doing small things to bring my body into alignment with my mind. I present fairly androgenous.

[arbon]

It was always very confusing for me but at some time over the last couple years I went from a point of feeling like a guy who hated being a guy and wishing I was a woman (or when I was little a boy wishing he was a girl) to feeling like I am a woman that has to endure being a guy. I cannot envision myself as a man. It is not me. there was that shift, and I think a lot had to do with learning more transsexualism, better self acceptance which therapy helped a lot with, starting to go out presenting female - it all started to feel right and the confusion about it all cleared up.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

I did not realise the other thread, it is interesting.

Some of you really had a heavy way to go (suicide plans - this shows me, I do not even have a guess how strong such a misfit in the gender can be, it is really sad :( ).

I don't know, for me it is still hard to believe (don't get me wrong I mean I do believe you, it is just I can not imagine it (doesn't sound better, hopefully you know what I mean)), that some figured it first out in adult age.

Probably my question was also (besides general interest) related to draw kind of a line between crossdressing and transsexuality, like a future border which will not be crossed (of course thinking also about my own future).

I am really impressed by you, who did transition!

[JCD568]

I, myself, wanted to crossdress since I was about 12 or 13. It developed more and more until now, at 30 years old, I have felt twice this year, quite strongly, that I want to live life as a woman. I spend as much spare time as I can trying to get away with dressing en femme and if I had it my my, I would dress and make myself look as feminine as possible 24/7. I have thought twice this year about going to my doctor and talking to him about my desire for a transition. I am happy as a crossdresser, but who knows. Maybe this will lead to my trying to turn myself into a woman in the near future. ;) As a side note, I am still attracted to women, but want to live my life as one. :) Maybe one day, I will develop from living life as a crossdresser to living life as a transexual.

Joanna x x

[Rianna Humble]

I have thought twice this year about going to my doctor and talking to him about my desire for a transition. I am happy as a crossdresser, but who knows. Maybe this will lead to my trying to turn myself into a woman in the near future.

I hate to nitpick, but transition is not about trying to turn yourself into something that you are not already. You sound to me like a well-balanced cross-dresser, why spoil it by trying to become what you are not (a woman)?

If you are transsexual, you already are a woman and transition is about aligning your body to your gender.

[Melody Moore]

I hate to nitpick, but transition is not about trying to turn yourself into something that you are not already. You sound to me like a well-balanced cross-dresser, why spoil it by trying to become what you are not (a woman)?

If you are transsexual, you already are a woman and transition is about aligning your body to your gender.

I have to agree Rianna, if I could have been a well-balanced crossdresser then that would be a whole lot
cheaper and easier than going down the road of gender transition, but the fact is I am not a man who likes
to crossdress as a woman, I was once a woman who use to crossdress as a man to conform to other people's
ideals. Dressing as a woman does nothing for me, except matches the outside of me to how I feel on the inside
and people then see me for the real me, and not someone I wasn't. I don't believe that you suddenly become
a transsexual, this is something that has always been there going back as far as I can remember. And I certainly
started experimenting with dressing as a female a lot earlier than the age of 12 or 13, by the age of 15 I had no
doubts in my mind that I wanted to undergo a 'sex change'.

[AKAMichelle]

I knew at age 8. The unfortunate thing is that I grew up in a time when nobody knew much about this. Finding help was nearly impossible. Plus you have to add the fact that parents push you to act according to your gender and you hide yourself from everyone.

I think the real key to answering this question is what it takes for you to accept yourself and begin to live true to yourself?

[GBJoker]

According to my Human Sexuality textbook, this feeling OP mentions occurs on average between 4 and 11ish. According to my sociology textbook, averages mean nothing.

According to my doctor, I'm essentially three years old. So... I'm still trying to figure it all out.

[lady di]

i have been sissy for as long as i new what that meant and try to hide it. now i have come to love myself because i am a girly cd......................................di

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The reason you will get as many as answers as people is this..

We are faced as little children with an impossible thought...an existential idea in our heads... and how our tiny little brains parse this thought will impact through our entire lives... it could be that some of us "have it worse than others"..it could be our first conscious realization happens at a different early age ..4 is different than 8... but universally its quite young... some of us repress it to the point of forgetting...some of us cry out to mom..i'm a girl!!! ...some of us are beaten or shamed for it..and then we repress it...etc etc...

my experience was that i repressed it...i fantasized about "turning into a girl"...i felt ashamed and lonely..i had no idea anyone on earth could possibly feel like i did...but i repressed it so effectively that it was like i had 2 brains...i obsessively crossdressed and planned to "change into a girl....someday"... but in those moments when i was with people, i literally didn't think of myself as a cd or ts... i buried it..

i sought guidance and was told i was a crossdresser ..."whew" i thought... but they were wrong...the idea of turning into a woman is something that is not politically correct in ts circles...oh well...all i can say is in my mind, thats what it felt like, and i am proud and delighted with my transition... i understand now that i was a woman in my mind all along..and the whole "turned into" and "wishing i was" thing was simply how I COPED with my situation..

so you need to separate out your coping mechanisms from your nature...this is very hard..your coping skills PROTECT you....they protect you right up until the point that they don't.... and thats when the bell is rung...thats when the dysphoria hits...and to make it worse, the incredibly empty and depressing feeling hits you at a time when you are vulnerable because the first thought many of us have is OMG i threw my life away.... other than that, its a walk in the park!!!

[Aprilrain]

in those moments when i was with people, i literally didn't think of myself as a cd or ts... i buried it..

i sought guidance and was told i was a crossdresser ..."whew" i thought... but they were wrong

other than that, its a walk in the park!!!

I felt the same way Kaitlyn and was also told I was a CDer by a Psychiatrist known for falling asleep during therpy sessions! HA HA a walk in that park down town where all the hookers and drug dealers hang out maybe!

I dont ever remember thinking I was a girl, clearly I was not! As Kate is fond of saying "woman don't have penises" But for some stupid reason I could not get the thought that I wanted to be a girl out of my head. I did ask my mother when I was young (IDK? maybe 6 or 7) if it was illegal for boys to wear girls clothes. She said no but it would be weird, I proclaimed that when I grew up I was going to wear girls clothes. She assured me that people would think I was weird and laugh at me. I remember being undetered, however at some point my high resolve evaporated and like so many others I found my way into the closet were I stayed comfy and warm for many years.

A lot of people like to make sweeping statements about transsexualism. I think your best bet is to read what the HBSOC say about it and what requirments need to be met for a profesional to make a diagnosis of GID, everythng else is less than profesional opinion. Its good to talk with other people who have walked this path to see if you can relate but everyone is different, we all have different opinions and different experiences. Most of us are inteligent enough to know that having a male body but thinking you should be a girl isn't the way to win friends and infulence people so imagine the contortion, distortion and denial of thought and feeling required to make it in this rather unforgiving world!

[chelseababy]

I dont ever remember thinking I was a girl, clearly I was not! As Kate is fond of saying "woman don't have penises" But for some stupid reason I could not get the thought that I wanted to be a girl out of my head.

This is what is going on in my head right now, went to the doctors with depression last week, told him about my cd'ing and 'wanting' to be a girl (something I've always thought labelled me as clearly NOT trans) and he has said he'll refer me on for councilling, where I go from here who knows, but I know what I want to be :(

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Clearly not trans? Well, would I would go for the councilling ;)

By the way, how do you konw you are trans? I mean is it really like you can not face the world as male anymore? I consider myself as crossdresser, but well it becomes more intense every day and I am going out en femme...

[Melissa Jill]

Clearly not trans? Well, would I would go for the councilling ;)

By the way, how do you konw you are trans? I mean is it really like you can not face the world as male anymore? I consider myself as crossdresser, but well it becomes more intense every day and I am going out en femme...

You just sort of know.

[ArleneRaquel]

At the age of eight I srarted dressing in mommy's clothes, at about the same age I started to dream, very often, about living my adult life as a woman, at age 21 I married, at age 54 my wife died, at age 55 at went, for a short period I went female 24/, at the same age I quit and then resumed again. At the age of 55 I started living, in earnest as " Katrina Maureen ", about 2 years later I changed my female name to " Arlene ", at age 63 I'm still Arlene. :)

[melissaK]

I knew early I wanted to dress like girls and that I liked playing with them way more than I liked playing with boys. I knew at age 13 when I saw the Christine Jorgenson's bio in a paperback book rack that a man had become a woman! I KNEW I
I was like that, I wanted that. When I would chose to do something about it other than run from it is a different question.

Hugs,
'lissa

[Launa]

I knew from age 5 or so that I liked getting into silk dresses but I'm only a CD. I've got no other desire to go full time