Im transexual.

[Melissa Jill]

Ive thought about this a hell of a lot lately and taking into account what others have said on here and my views on my life and stuff, I think Im transexual.
Thankyou for everyone who responded to my topics on here for aiding me reaching this conclusion.
But Im not really attracted to men, I like the attention from them and thats a sort of turn on, but its nothing for what I feel for women. Im dooming myself to a lonely life. But at least it'll be a happy life.

[sandra-leigh]

I do not mean the below to sound harsh... but you know how postings can come out sounding differently than the person intends.

Earlier today you indicated that you were not sure; now you say you "think" you might be.

"Thinking" you might be transsexual is probably good enough reason to go through things like electrolysis, and it might even be reason enough to try HRT (I know some disagree with me, but the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care specifically use HRT as a differential diagnostic tool). And heavens knows, it is a good enough reason to go to therapy. But "thinking" you might be transsexual is not good enough to start SRS.

I went through a protracted struggle of "thinking" I might be transgendered (not transsexual). I thought about it directly for some time. At the end of that period, logic had still not convinced me that I was or was not transgendered -- but I took the turn from thinking I might be transgendered to knowing that I was.

There is no logic that you can go through to take the step between "thinking" and "knowing". Looking at facts and feelings can help pave the way, but at some point, not necessarily for any particular reason, you flip between thinking it and knowing it (that is, believing it.)

[Melody Moore]

Hi Melissa,

It is great that you have come to this realisation, however I don't believe that you should
trust your conclusions without consulting with a therapist. And besides you will need to see
a therapist so you can get proper treatment if you are transsexual, especially if you want to
transition through the NHS.

As for sexual orientation, I was in the same boat as you before, I was never gay as a male and for
a long time this was something that held be back from accepting that I was transsexual. However
what I am finding out is that my thoughts have changed a lot and find myself thinking about certain
men regularly. However I do find most men can be pigs and that is what really holds me back the
most. But as a woman, I do think I could have a heterosexual relationship with the right sort of male.
You will find that the sexual orientation of many transsexual women also changes during hormone therapy.

[Melissa Jill]

I do not mean the below to sound harsh... but you know how postings can come out sounding differently than the person intends.

Earlier today you indicated that you were not sure; now you say you "think" you might be.

"Thinking" you might be transsexual is probably good enough reason to go through things like electrolysis, and it might even be reason enough to try HRT (I know some disagree with me, but the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care specifically use HRT as a differential diagnostic tool). And heavens knows, it is a good enough reason to go to therapy. But "thinking" you might be transsexual is not good enough to start SRS.

I went through a protracted struggle of "thinking" I might be transgendered (not transsexual). I thought about it directly for some time. At the end of that period, logic had still not convinced me that I was or was not transgendered -- but I took the turn from thinking I might be transgendered to knowing that I was.

There is no logic that you can go through to take the step between "thinking" and "knowing". Looking at facts and feelings can help pave the way, but at some point, not necessarily for any particular reason, you flip between thinking it and knowing it (that is, believing it.)

Im really struggling as it is to put my thought process into words. Just that somehow its all sort of come together if that makes sense? Like, Ive probably known for a while, someone once said to me "In the long run Melissa, your the only one who can answer that...Truthfully you probably already know...its just the admission that is the hard part."

Last night I did something really stupid and I had a close call. I thought I had stopped caring about whether I lived or died, but having such a close call I realised I do want to live. I dunno if thats relevant

[Inna]

Hey hon, it is all hard! You versus the world it seems, and some of it is true when you realize that most of what you know and lived through wasn't yours to keep but a mere pretends of a scarred and guilt ridden soul.
Don't worry about sexuality, such will clarify it self once you will come to balance and regain consciousness of true self, something you might had missed your entire life. It is never too late, I for once avoided word Transsexual as though made of dread and perversion, only recently I had embraced A TRUE meaning and now I am proud to tell anyone I am a Transsexual Woman.

I tend to think that if someone says "I think I am a transsexual" they in fact are...... No one would venture into the reality of thorns and whimsically make such announcements.
You are absolutely right when it comes to admission part, it truly is the hardest to face the truth, hurt follows as an integral part of the process but beyond the pain lays world of beauty and love I had no idea was possible. I wish it upon every transgender person to travel there, even though the road is treacherous.

As a side note, you already look so cute that in my eyes you will make a beautiful woman...............Go Girl!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Melissa,

I'm biting my tongue here but what the H4LL does liking or not liking men have anything to do with being transsexual?!?!?

Being Transsexual has nothing to do with your sexual preference..nothing.

I'm very worried that your thinking that a deciding criteria in being transsexual is whether you are attracted to men or not.

Look, I believe that you believe your transsexual but you need much therapy before this is definitive.

Please do not go any further until you speak to a therapist.



Julia

[Melissa Jill]

Melissa,

I'm biting my tongue here but what the H4LL does liking or not liking men have anything to do with being transsexual?!?!?

What?!?!

Being Transsexual has nothing to do with your sexual preference..nothing.

I'm very worried that your thinking that a deciding criteria in being transsexual is whether or not you are attracted to men or not.

Look, I believe that you believe your transsexual but you need much therapy before this is definitive.

Please do not go any further until you speak to a therapist



Julia
I never said being attracted to men was related to being transexual at all. I just meant that realistically speaking Ill never get married or have kids or anything cos of the low number of lesbians out there.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Melissa,

I'm confused now as to what you mean about the low number of lesbians.

Are you saying you can't marry a genetic female identifying as lesbian because you would be a transsexual??

If so I have to set you straight so to speak by saying that I am marrying my lesbian fiance because I still carry a "M" on my driver's license.

I'm sorry but this is a very confusing thread wrought with places I find myself falling into.

Good luck Melissa.


Julia

[Melissa Jill]

Melissa,

I'm confused now as to what you mean about the low number of lesbians.

Are you saying you can't marry a genetic female identifying as lesbian because you would be a transsexual??

If so I have to set you straight so to speak by saying that I am marrying my lesbian fiance because I still carry a "M" on my driver's license.

I'm sorry but this is a very confusing thread wrought with places I find myself falling into.

Good luck Melissa.


Julia

No, I just mean in the sense of looking at it as a numbers game the odds of finding "the one" are pretty slim.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Melissa,

I understand all the things you are thinking and pondering. Just take your time and absorb all the information you can. In the end you have to make decisions that make sens to you. As far as relationships are concerned, there is someone out there for everyone. In good time you will find the person who is right for you as long as you keep looking.

Kelly

[Danika140]

I never said being attracted to men was related to being transexual at all. I just meant that realistically speaking Ill never get married or have kids or anything cos of the low number of lesbians out there.

I understand where you are coming from. I struggled with this that thought for a very long time and was the reason I never pursued transitioning. However, I finally realize that I am in control of my happiness and ultimately responsible for it so I am without a doubt transitioning. I feel that if you can't make yourself happy then how can you expect to make others happy?

Good luck!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Melissa you don't have to post every one of your thoughts for debate...you don't have to answer every post..but you should take care in reading the responses for all the diverse points of view...

Your OP is an entirely common thought that many of us have...

you seem to have alot of clutter in yourmind and you would be well served to simplify your problem....the last thing a ts person needs at this point is to be worrying about boy or girl friends for example..

[morgan51]

Please seek and talk with a therapist experienced in treating ts patients they can help you decide where you are and how you need to procede. Also keep in mind you are a valuable wonderful being and worthy of gentle care. You will be amazed what you discover.

[Bree-asaurus]

I'm drunk so I'm kinda not gonna read ALL the other replies. But don't worry about labeling yourself. Don't worry if you are transsexual or transgender or a crossdresser or gay or straight or bi or whatever.

Just TRY to relax, take a step back and explore what you WANT to explore.

Find what makes you happy. The labels come later.

And don't worry about relationships. They happen if they happen. Focus on yourself first.

[Alexiz]

I'm drunk so I'm kinda not gonna read ALL the other replies. But don't worry about labeling yourself. Don't worry if you are transsexual or transgender or a crossdresser or gay or straight or bi or whatever.

Just TRY to relax, take a step back and explore what you WANT to explore.

Find what makes you happy. The labels come later.

And don't worry about relationships. They happen if they happen. Focus on yourself first.

It's much easier said than done, but I would have to say that having this particular mindset is important. No one is perfect at anything, but we can all strive toward a certain goal.


All in all, I can completely relate in terms of finding a particular relationship, just as you. It's sort of the same situation for me, but like many others have said, it is abject to change during hormone therapy and whatnot. Just move accordingly to what you want and what you feel is necessary.

I believe someone mentioned that you should get the consultation of a therapist. Although I agree this can be beneficial, I would not base everything on what they tell you; only you know yourself best.. what right does someone else have to question it? Take what you hear and analyze it for yourself... and the answers should come with time and effort. You should simply do what you want, for your own pursuit of happiness. I'm sure you already knew all of that though... right? XD

[noeleena]

Hi, Milissa,

Some of us know what we are from very young does not change over the years, some of us have to live with that & not do anything about it.till later in life for what ever reason. some ? them selfs for years or really have no idear. we are all different .
What we finily do is another matter. & some made a big mistake & some where told this is what you are ,

I know what i was / am 54 years ago. & its no different now nothing changed . what we all need to do is look hard at our selfs & look deep with in & in doing that . i wont say all tho many do know so this must come from you & you alone wether your male ..female .. trans .. a dresser . or like a few of us I S.

whats really importaint is you know your self ...& this is the crunch , it .....must .... be you & be who you are mind body as far as it can go & live your life as you see fit to do. dont .....ever .... be told what you should or not do.its for you & you alone,

Get help thats great hear what we say & take from that what ....YOU .... need

...noeleena...

[Amber99]

No, I just mean in the sense of looking at it as a numbers game the odds of finding "the one" are pretty slim.

Yeah I feel the same way :\

[Julia_in_Pa]

Melissa,


OK, that I can work with.

All things in time. First discover who Melissa is. :O)


Julia





No, I just mean in the sense of looking at it as a numbers game the odds of finding "the one" are pretty slim.