Building up to going out en femme

[Danika140]

I went and got both of my ears pierced yesterday, shaved my body, bought some outfits all with my nails painted a very vibrant red. I have no problems keeping my nails painted while shopping for women's clothes but I can't seem to get up the nerve to dress up and go out that way.

How did some of you overcome that fear and uncertainty?

I guess I am just putting too much pressure on myself to be "passable" right away instead of just going out and stumbling through it and enjoy the journey.

[StevieTV]

I think you are spot on with your last sentence. Kudos for your initial steps. Each of us has our own pace. The secret to venturing forth is to be comfortable and confident with who you are.

[StacyCD]

Remember to dress for where you are going--6" heels are sure to draw attention at Walmart. Just remember that most people are too busy with themselves to really care about you and you have a right to dress however you want. Also, remember to breathe and have fun!

[Danika140]

Thank you both for the positive feedback! A close friend of mine here in Tampa said the same thing but I'm a "need to hear it from multiple sources" type of personality so I just kept making excuses. I really shouldn't be worried of what others think as I have been ridiculed my whole life for either being a wrestler, or being in choir or being an intel analyst in the Air Force or something. A person will always find something to talk down on others about so worrying about it is not going to help me become who I am meant to be.

I had my nails painted bright bright pink for 2 months and had them done at a nail salon. Granted I used the excuse "it's for breast cancer awareness," but I kept getting the painted for 2 months. I think my best course of action is starting small on my own until I can get into a really good support group which University of Tampa does have. Then I can focus on going full time with a group of supportive people and friends.

Thanks again for taking the time and addressing my questions :).

[Barbara Ella]

You seem to have a level head Danika. Your decision to take it slow, or as it comes, and find support groups will serve you best over the long haul, which is what we are all in for. Your journey will progress, and it will do so at its pace so there is no need for you to worry about it. It will happen. Meanwhile, pull up a chair and chat with the group here, they will set you free.

Babes

[Jean Marie]

I agree dress and make up approiate for your age, build and setting, hold your head up, go about your business. and no one will pay attention. Only warning is "Beware going out enfemme is very addictive." Of course its scary as hell at first. I guarntee it gets easier and better each time Good Luck !! Huggzz

[ArleneRaquel]

Hi,
Its been my experience that once that you go, out of the house, enfemme that there is no going back, you are hooked forever and that it gets easier as time goes by.

[Cynthia Anne]

Relax young lady! They really don't bite out there! Just don't overdress and stand out! Just enjoy yourself and try not to be nervous! Smile! Be proud of who you are! You will be fine! Hugs!

[Danika140]

Thank you babes. I think I am stressing myself out with the amount of stuff I don't know about being a woman that it feels a bit overwhelming and with my unreasonable expectations just makes it worse! The two things that are more or less stressing me out the most is that I don't have a clue about makeup and my very masculine voice. It's a lot higher than most genetic males but people can still tell I am a guy. Even the way I walk isn't very masculine compared to most males. I love the people on here! I literally hit refresh every 5 mins!

Jean, MsArlene, I am really hoping "it gets easier with time" comes to fruition but like everyone has said, gotta work on it one step at a time to make it happen. My friend Erin said she will help me with makeup and I am grateful for her help. Fashion is pretty easy as I've noticed that they really is no right wrong way to do it. The only attention grabber I can foresee being an issue for me is the amount of tattoos I have. I tried overcompensating for my masculinity so I am decked out in tats with 14 big ones to be exact. In a tank top, you can see 11 of them and they are not feminine ones lol.

Cynthia, you genuinely brought a smile to my face when you called me a young lady :). It made my heart melt and the sincere and quick response to that validated how I feel on the inside so thank you for that!

On a side note, Tampa has a pretty significant "gay" (I don't like using that term) club scene here so I was considering meeting up with my homosexual friends and going to them dressed as en femme. Has anyone else tried this and how was your experience?

[kerrianne]

We all had those butterflies fluttering the first time,I sat in my car for over 3 hours before I decided to open the door and see the world dressed en femme. I have shopped and tried clothes on at a womans clothing store before but that was the extent of it. Now with the encouragement of some friends I have made (sales associates) built up my confidence. Now I'm happier with my self and my advice to you....just do it

Kerrianne

[Starr]

Ok, start slow.. dress in girl jeans, blouse.. go lite on the makeup.. if that works better.. then step it up a little each time.. I don't worry about trying to pass... if I can get to the point that makes someone question as to am I male for female that is enough.

If they look close and question, those that don't pay any attention (90% of the people you will meet) will never think twice of me being anything but female. The biggest thing is accept yourself for what you feel you are, enjoy life, hold your head up, meet people's eyes, smile.. smile...smile, and feel like you belong as much as anyone else.. because you do, and you will be fine.

Remember there is always one out there that may want to point out you are a man dressed as a woman, but if you accept yourself that is not a problem.. just smile at them and let them know you are not going to crawl into a hole because they say something.

[VickysBFF]

Thank you babes. I think I am stressing myself out with the amount of stuff I don't know about being a woman that it feels a bit overwhelming and with my unreasonable expectations just makes it worse! The two things that are more or less stressing me out the most is that I don't have a clue about makeup and my very masculine voice. It's a lot higher than most genetic males but people can still tell I am a guy. Even the way I walk isn't very masculine compared to most males. I love the people on here! I literally hit refresh every 5 mins!

Jean, MsArlene, I am really hoping "it gets easier with time" comes to fruition but like everyone has said, gotta work on it one step at a time to make it happen. My friend Erin said she will help me with makeup and I am grateful for her help. Fashion is pretty easy as I've noticed that they really is no right wrong way to do it. The only attention grabber I can foresee being an issue for me is the amount of tattoos I have. I tried overcompensating for my masculinity so I am decked out in tats with 14 big ones to be exact. In a tank top, you can see 11 of them and they are not feminine ones lol.

Cynthia, you genuinely brought a smile to my face when you called me a young lady :). It made my heart melt and the sincere and quick response to that validated how I feel on the inside so thank you for that!

On a side note, Tampa has a pretty significant "gay" (I don't like using that term) club scene here so I was considering meeting up with my homosexual friends and going to them dressed as en femme. Has anyone else tried this and how was your experience?

Hi Danika: I used to live in Tampa and although I did not go out en femme, there is a healthy LGBT/alternative scene all along the I-4 corridor from Orlando to St. Pete. Most of it is now in Ybor (or Gay-bor as the locals now call it) and I am not familiar with it as it is a relatively new development. I would check the local LGBT publications for any bars/nightclubs etc. In general, it is a fairly accepting area from what I remember.