maybe an obvious reason why we dress

[cassandra54]

okay so i'm really in touch with who i am. i am androgyne, tg and so on. i love to dress and do so whenever i can. pretty much i just try to look like a well dressed lady and hopefully pass when i'm out in public.

but something has come to my attention. i thought about this because in my line of work, usually the most obvious things are the culprit when it comes to troubleshooting anything electrical. something's not connected or a loose wire, a switch is turned off or hey even a burned out light bulb.

so what does this mean when it come to dressing, being tg or whatever we find ourselves to be? i realized that i have a choice here. because i am liberated and in touch with my feminine side, i can dress like a lady and wear hose, dresses and skirts, and of course just jeans and a top if the mood moves me. or i can wear tee shirts,sweatshirts and jean like every other man in this world. my SO tells me that when i am in guy mode, i am pretty boring, pretty beige and pretty nondescript. but when i am cassandra, i can be pretty (hopefully, maybe just in my mind) and stylish.

i don't think it's a hard choice to make. i wonder how many men that have never dressed at all thought about this. do they envy the way ggs get to dress up and look pretty? i wonder how many men who have never dressed think this way, but are not liberated enough or don't have the courage to put on a dress, some hose and some cute shoes.

what say you?

[Angie G]

Or we dress because we can.:hugs:
Angie

[Acastina]

I think it IS an obvious reason, once you get past the Freudian "why" inquiry (to which "because" is a perfectly adequate answer). Dress up as a guy, and you're basically going to look like a penguin with some color variation at your chest from shirts and ties. BORING! If one has that soft appreciation for elegance, delicate fabrics, colors and cuts, and all the other nuances that place pretty so far above handsome, it's a no-brainer to at least think about wearing it and not just looking at it on women. Square that if one is inclined toward the feminine in self-image and erotic possibilities.

I have struggled forever wondering whether the positive emotions I feel seeing a beautiful woman dressed nicely in decidedly feminine clothes is the more traditional lust or a deep envy. Do I want to be her man, or be her?

It's our Puritanical society and its rigid gender roles that torment us by insisting that the range of acceptable men's clothing be restricted while women can wear what they feel like wearing, including a whole marvelous genre of garments that are simply off-limits to men. My wife says skirts and hose and heels are no big deal, just clothes she wears in some situations, so maybe the whole forbidden-fruit thing is part of what makes CD so powerful for us.

BTW, I'm certain I have at least a few loose wires and bad connections between my ears, but the lights are still on...

[ArleneRaquel]

Acastina,
I agree totally with your excellent post.

[kimberly23]

Well I think that loads of mans would like to dress a woman clothes. the difference between them and us, is the lust, to wear like woman. first time i dressed up my mothers dress, like young teen kid. so i can say a lot of years ago now. and like you said, i can be an ordinary man with an ordinary life. no problem. i got my small secret 2nd life, and nobody, except here and 2 other persons don't know about it... hope to find a girl wich will understand it. than i will be very happy. thinking about it a lot, if i will say it other guys around me, our friendship will be over. it is a mans brain... the scare to anybody even knows you think about it. but maybe not. who knows...

[Marleena]

It looks like a two part question. For non CDing men I can't see them being envious of how women dress. They are more interested in getting the dress off her, and well you know.:)

Why for me is still an unknown, I just want to dress up, so I will continue to. I respect and admire GG's. I do not dress to copy them, or be like them. I do it for me, I want to try to look pretty, and sexy too. My SO is awesome, she helps where she can. We've discussed the why, and she knows I don't really know why and that I never asked to be a CDer either. It just happened to me.:)

[ArleneRaquel]

Cd'ing is something that cant be resisted. IMHO if you have " the CD gene " there is no way resist. If usg a gene exists I must have it, and I would live no other way. If I tried to live in any different way I would likely loose my mind. I prefer contentment to insanity.

[Josie M]

There might be something to that. It does seem easier in femm mode to get a little more creative with my look. I would certainly do so in male-mode as well, but find myself at a loss as to how to go about it. I also wish I could break free of the "boring shirt and beige pants" that I typically wear to work.

Then again; there is kind of a corporate, professional culture that puts implied limits on how we present ourselves (male or female). On the other hand, as Josie I'm already breaking a lot of implied cultural rules so there there is less to stop me from just dressing in what appeals to me.

[kimberly23]

As you said, look pretty and sexy... I love that feeling... :)

[kimberly23]

Well I think that loads of mans would like to dress a woman clothes. the difference between them and us, is the lust, to wear like woman. first time i dressed up my mothers dress, like young teen kid. so i can say a lot of years ago now. and like you said, i can be an ordinary man with an ordinary life. no problem. i got my small secret 2nd life, and nobody, except here and 2 other persons don't know about it... hope to find a girl wich will understand it. than i will be very happy. thinking about it a lot, if i will say it other guys around me, our friendship will be over. it is a mans brain... the scare to anybody even knows you think about it. but maybe not. who knows...

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree with Marleena! Non cder's are not interested in the dress but are interested in what's in the dress! Now please tell me why I must dress! I still don't know!

[Marleena]

Now please tell me why I must dress! I still don't know!

Here we go again, Cynthia! Tell me why! :)

[Acastina]

... For non CDing men I can't see them being envious of how women dress. They are more interested in getting the dress off her, and well you know.:)


Reminds me of the old cartoon I saw in Mad Magazine years ago. Little boy gets a big fire engine for Christmas, gets all excited and demands that Dad take it out of the box right away. Dad obliges, and the kid jumps into the box and goes "clang, clang, clang" with his arm ringing an imaginary bell on his cardboard fire engine.

Folks like us sometimes have more interest in playing in the box than with the toy....

[Barbara Ella]

There is a journey, and i would surmise that most non CD males would not be envious and wish to emulate. I on the other hand have no choice. I am in the because, and will never expect a why, it just is. I have not found myself looking for the beautiful woman...yet... I am in the first phases, and am enraptured by the feelings of the clothing, the textures, the bare skin, et. al.

As I progress, I hope i become more aware of how my desires for clothing can be put together to enhance the woman inside and help her come out in a more visual manner. Will I ever pass, most likely not. I just hope to be able to put together the best that my inside can offer, and I will be a happy girl, and care even less about why. I will not turn back.

Babes

[April_Ligeia]

Some women like to dress up and wear makeup, other women prefer to wear sweatpants or jeans and don't wear any makeup at all. Nobody asks them to explain why, if a woman like to wear makeup, no explanation is needed.
Some men like to dress up and wear makeup. Many of them are on this forum. Other men do not. I don't believe that a man who likes to wear dresses and makeup has any deeper rational for it than a woman who does the same thing. There is just more social baggage when a man does it, so all of a sudden, an explanation is expected. I truly believe it is this simple: some people, women and men, like to wear dresses and makeup, and look pretty. I honestly believe that it's that simple.
I like to crossdress. I don't need to justify it, and quite frankly I think most of the "explanations" men have to give to explain their crossdressing (and I include myself because I have had ENDLESS conversation about this in the past with my ex-wife) are just made up because someone expects you to explain yourself, so you are obligated to say something. Personally, I am done explaining it or trying to come up with reasons, because all the "reasons" I have come up with in the past were a load of crap. I wear what I like, and that often includes nail polish, makeup and skirts or dresses. End of story. Just my opinion.

[suchacutie]

I do think that this is a bit of a stretch. Many of us here have said repeatedly that we dress because we must, not because we are thinking about how great it would be to wear more interesting clothes. Luckily I also enjoy being Tina. I guess it goes hand in hand.

Oh, and I love the way I look dressed in a tux!

I'm sure you all know many men who won't even wear a tie, or a suit, or anything that might make them "girly". There are many people shopping this time of year. I know we all watch women (for a variety of reasons) but have you looked at the guys? omg :(

tina

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The obvious reason you dress is because you want to. Most guys don't because they don't want to.

[LilSissyStevie]

Reminds me of the old cartoon I saw in Mad Magazine years ago. Little boy gets a big fire engine for Christmas, gets all excited and demands that Dad take it out of the box right away. Dad obliges, and the kid jumps into the box and goes "clang, clang, clang" with his arm ringing an imaginary bell on his cardboard fire engine.

Folks like us sometimes have more interest in playing in the box than with the toy....

Thanks, that made me laugh. My usual excuse is that the Devil makes me do it. But I think I like yours better.

[Diane Smith]

Some women like to dress up and wear makeup, other women prefer to wear sweatpants or jeans and don't wear any makeup at all. Nobody asks them to explain why, if a woman like to wear makeup, no explanation is needed.
Some men like to dress up and wear makeup. Many of them are on this forum. Other men do not. I don't believe that a man who likes to wear dresses and makeup has any deeper rational for it than a woman who does the same thing. There is just more social baggage when a man does it, so all of a sudden, an explanation is expected. I truly believe it is this simple: some people, women and men, like to wear dresses and makeup, and look pretty. I honestly believe that it's that simple.
I like to crossdress. I don't need to justify it, and quite frankly I think most of the "explanations" men have to give to explain their crossdressing (and I include myself because I have had ENDLESS conversation about this in the past with my ex-wife) are just made up because someone expects you to explain yourself, so you are obligated to say something. Personally, I am done explaining it or trying to come up with reasons, because all the "reasons" I have come up with in the past were a load of crap. I wear what I like, and that often includes nail polish, makeup and skirts or dresses. End of story. Just my opinion.

I have often speculated that maybe there's a fairly small percentage of the population, both male and female, that likes to dress in pretty clothes, wear makeup and jewelry, and adorn themselves with pretty but impractical items like long nails and high heels, and that this group cuts approximately equally across both genders. Clearly the majority of women, most of the time, are not into stereotypically "fancy" or "feminine" dress, but some are. There may be about an equal number of males who would prefer to dress the same way, but many, if not most, are inhibited from doing it by social pressures. Absent those, the number of males and females in fancy dress might be about the same, according to my hypothesis. In other words, pretty clothes have no gender, but conventionally, only females are allowed the luxury of wearing them.

- Diane

[Rachel Flowers]

There's a deeper point here. In many other warm-blooded species,if one sex has beautiful coloured garments (peacock) gorgeous long flowing hair (lion) or a creative hat (deer), it's the male. Females of the species look drab (peahen) or butch (lioness).

In human society, we have had times in Western history when the acceptable fashion was bright frills peacock clothes for men until your puritans and our Victorians knocked it out of us. Women have regained their right to wear what they like, when's our turn coming? There's a tribe in Africa where the men wear the make-up and parade around trying to impress the women. Nice.

[Jaclyn Alexis]

There's a deeper point here. In many other warm-blooded species,if one sex has beautiful coloured garments (peacock) gorgeous long flowing hair (lion) or a creative hat (deer), it's the male. Females of the species look drab (peahen) or butch (lioness).

In human society, we have had times in Western history when the acceptable fashion was bright frills peacock clothes for men until your puritans and our Victorians knocked it out of us. Women have regained their right to wear what they like, when's our turn coming? There's a tribe in Africa where the men wear the make-up and parade around trying to impress the women. Nice.

That's a good point, Rachel! I never really made the connection before, but you're right...it's definitely the male birds that have the most gorgeous plumage.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Thats why we have a world wide Renaissance group 1400 to 1700. & the men do get dressed up . of cause iv not seen make up tho it was worn .

End of this month we have over 200 members comeing to a week long get to gether, have 20 coming over from Austraila as well.. those of us woman will be dressed in our lovely outfits & the men as well dressed & some lovely garb. even the kids . so the ? is why..... other than reinact times past . i think men do like being dressed. may be not all the time . even so its a great time ,


...noeleena...

[LeaP]

i don't think it's a hard choice to make. i wonder how many men that have never dressed at all thought about this. do they envy the way ggs get to dress up and look pretty? i wonder how many men who have never dressed think this way, but are not liberated enough or don't have the courage to put on a dress, some hose and some cute shoes.

what say you?

I think the average guy probably thinks women's attention to clothing is a little ridiculous. How many times have you heard complaints about 1-time wearings, zillions of shoes, budget issues, seasonality, can't-wear-it-'cause-it's-out-of-fashion, make me look fat, etc.?

Lea

[jillleanne]

I doubt it unless they have some inner femme feeling that they just have not consciously discovered or accepted.
I always think of strip joints when I read something like this. I have attended a strip joint about 6 times in my life. Every time, I disliked the places. I didn't like paying too much for beer and I especially did not get any , and I mean any thrill out of watching some 'girl trying to make her way through university' strip out of next to nothing to begin with. I did like the shoes admittedly however. I have never had a lap dance, nor have I ever stuck a bill anywhere I couldn't get change from. My point is, the guys I went with generally got a rush from attending these places and still do. The last thing on their minds is the clothing, makeup, jewellry, etc. The only thing on my while there was just that; what she wore or lack of.
I do agree the choice of black, grey, brown or blue is nothing short of boring and cotton or cotton as a material choice is like eating dirt everyday. Women are blessed with color, style, and materials choices and that excites me but only because it is part of my tg self, not because I want it to be. I am very analytical my guess is, if I were not gender enhanced/tg, I would probably wear one color/style/material to simplify the process. I'm sure if a gg was invlolved, a stripe or two would show up. I really doubt a 'man'( the pigs that they generally are), ever thinks about this except to think about how he might like to say to a nicely dressed woman,
" So, Mrs. so and so, there's something I would like to get straight between us!"

Whenever I think about things like this, I like to epilate for an hour or so.

[jillleanne]

....................... How many times have you heard complaints about 1-time wearings, zillions of shoes, budget issues, seasonality, can't-wear-it-'cause-it's-out-of-fashion, make me look fat, etc.?

Lea

I doubt you need to be a woman to say that!! wink wink

[gabimartini]

I'm not sure I fully understand your post. Lemme give it a shot.

First of all, I don't think CDing has anything to do with liberation, courage or wanting to look pretty. It has to do with being transgendered to some extent. It's a vehicle for us to express that unavoidable and unrealized femininity we carry inside.

Second, CDing has nothing to do with choice. This is a common misconception. How many here can honestly choose NOT to crossdress? Probably close to none. I dress because I have to, not because I choose to. If I could REALLY choose, I'd choose NOT to. :)

That being said, I don't think non-TG men envy GGs (or us for that matter), fancy being feminine or would personally gain anything from CDing. They simply don't have that psychological need.

[Allisa]

lisa likes to be feminine and dress the part why wear pants,tops etc... that would be crossdressing.I can do that as Al.

[christina s]

I've always been curious about dressing since i was young . Then i just suppressed these feelings because of how my parents were raising me to be this ultra masculine guy i think a part of me just snapped recently and i needed to indulge and accept this side of me . I still love my guy side but there's a part of me that just feels right when i dress .

[5150 Girl]

I think my reason is obvious, it's about putting somting right that went horribly wrong at birth ;)

[cassandra54]

I'm not sure I fully understand your post. Lemme give it a shot.

First of all, I don't think CDing has anything to do with liberation, courage or wanting to look pretty. It has to do with being transgendered to some extent. It's a vehicle for us to express that unavoidable and unrealized femininity we carry inside.

Second, CDing has nothing to do with choice. This is a common misconception. How many here can honestly choose NOT to crossdress? Probably close to none. I dress because I have to, not because I choose to. If I could REALLY choose, I'd choose NOT to. :)

That being said, I don't think non-TG men envy GGs (or us for that matter), fancy being feminine or would personally gain anything from CDing. They simply don't have that psychological need.

I would have to agree to disagree. I don't know why you would CHOOSE NOT TO dress. I don't really feel a compulsion to dress, but a very strong desire.

[ArleneRaquel]

The older I get the more I desire to dress & live as a female. I wonder if " our choice " to dress enfemme is really a choice ? My attempts to quite, none since 2004, have not been succussful. Maybe I'm just a CD addict.

[Jane G]

:hugs:
The obvious reason you dress is because you want to. Most guys don't because they don't want to.

I can do without things I want. Crossdressing is so much more to me than a simple want.