Odd comment from SO....

[Trisha UK]

Well was having a general chat with the wife regarding my cross dressing activity and how far I could take it. Discussed the possibility of going out shopping somewhere some distance from home, which she did not seem too opposed to. Then suddenly backed off the idea saying she did not want to be her 'husband's ugly mate' for a shopping trip....

Not sure if that was an odd compliment or something else. Anyone had anything similar?

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm taking it she feels you look better dressed then she does! If that's the case maybe you need to back down a bit! Don't try to 'outdo' her in her own department and perhaps things will work out for you! Just remember to put her and her feelings first! Hugs!

[Marleena]

I have a feeling she's not feeling good about herself, or something is bothering her.

[Eryn]

Hmm, your SOs comment is bothering you. Why don't you ask her about it? It would be the best way to get to the bottom of it and will demonstrate your concern about her feelings.

Communication is a two way street!

[ikatrina]

I think we sometimes get caught up in our own situation and thoughts that we have blinders on for other people's concerns. Like others have said it sounds as though your wife has something meaningful to say and she is holding back. Talk to her.

[Missy]

today was in car with wife and ex wife
talk about being ganged up on anyway wife said something and i kinda started backing away then she just said that I just needed to put my big girl panties on and deal with it and the ex wife agreed with her and then added that I needed to put my bra on as well

[ReineD]

Then suddenly backed off the idea saying she did not want to be her 'husband's ugly mate' for a shopping trip....

Not sure if that was an odd compliment or something else. Anyone had anything similar?

I did!

My SO has very nice clothing, whereas my financial resources have been allocated elsewhere than my wardrobe in recent years. I don't mind this, it is what it is and frankly, my lifestyle is quite casual now. On a recent outing, I wore something that I had worn many times before. I looked presentable, but I felt quite ordinary. My SO, on the other hand, was beautifully dressed as always. So I told her that I felt like the "poor cousin" :p.

There was no jealousy or bitterness involved, just an observation that I didn't feel we matched, not in style or color, but in our different levels of trendiness/dressiness. I guess the best way I can compare is to give an analogy of four girlfriends going out together. Three of the women are dressed in the latest styles with beautiful accessories, lots of jewelry, and one has on a simple skirt, top, ordinary shoes, and earrings that she's had for 10 years. She will feel the odd one out, as if she has less sparkle, even though she is dressed nicely.

I don't blame my SO for wanting to wear her nice clothes, since she cannot put on women's clothing every day like I do. And maybe it is vain of me to want to wear equally nice clothes, I don't know. I mean, I should feel content enough in my presentation no matter the quality of the clothes I wear. But at the same time I like to feel as if I am not underdressed. It's a quandary, but I don't let it get in the way of enjoying our evening out. :) I can have a fleeting 'poor cousin' feeling, and then put that aside and still enjoy our time together.

[DanaR]

That sounds like a good topic to have an in depth discussion with her about. You need to figure out what the problem is or what's on her mind.

[Miranda09]

Maybe a good idea would be to suggest the two of you go out on a little shopping spree for her, get her some nice things and make her feel better about herself, then when the two of you go out together later on, she won't feel like the "ugly mate." Might smooth things out a bit?? :)

[ReineD]

Trisha, I thought of something else. Do you dress for the occasion, meaning when you compare your style of dress to all the other women who are there, do you fit in with them? For example if you are going to a mall on a Saturday afternoon where most every woman is wearing pants and a sweater, are you wearing a business suit or a fancy dress? If this is the case, your wife may be referring to you being overdressed. You should ask her.

[Donniesr]

Whatever the problem, talk to her about it and be honest,, before its too late and she is gone...

[Shananigans]

I'm going to go ahead and guess that you weren't planning on wearing jeans, a simple shirt, minimal makeup, and a pony tail.

That's pretty much what I wear shopping (well, unless I'm at Saks) and so do most GGs. (Trying on clothes is just a b*tch when you have a million layers going on with you).

I know quite a few women and SOs on here that won't change their style just because their CD SO wants to wear heels and tiny skirts 24/7, 365. I am pretty much the same way. My SO and I would look really funny if we hit the town. My SO has a rather provocative look that is similar to something I went through in my teens. I have a provocative look in a different way...I tend to choose vintage styles that cling to my figure, but without showing a mile of leg. Do I show a lot of leg sometimes? Sure...however, I have an on/off switch. I have both a casual and dressy mode. My SO (and I feel like a lot of CDs) tends to kind of just have one mode...so, if we were going to an every day area (like to the mall), I would have to wear something crazy that I normally would not wear to the mall. I'd probably do this for my SO...even though I would probably feel a bit awkward. But, I definitely know a lot of women who wouldn't. Why? Because, you feel like the odd duck either way (you are either the odd duck for being too dressed at the mall, or you are the odd duck because you are standing beside someone too dressed for the mall).

[kimdl93]

I'm going to go ahead and guess that you weren't planning on wearing jeans, a simple shirt, minimal makeup, and a pony tail.

That's pretty much what I wear shopping (well, unless I'm at Saks) and so do most GGs. (Trying on clothes is just a b*tch when you have a million layers going on with you)..

I'm echoing again. When shopping, I think the more casually feminine, the better. Its easier to try things on and as a bonus, one blends in more readily with the rest of the shoppers - except for being 6'2":(

Or consider an alternative: If your SO isn't in the mood for shopping with you (whilst you're en femme) you could always shop together en drabb.

[EllieOPKS]

If I were in your shoes I would not go shopping or out the front door until she clarified for you the "ugly mate" comment. I would think the last thing you would want to happen is for her to see you as being more attractive than her. You have a really good thing going but if there is an under current as who is the real woman in public she might become less receptive to your dressing. Just an idea but you may want to give her a day of pampering - mani/pedi, massage, make over, etc and then take her shopping for something new to wear while you back way down on appearance or go drab to reassure her.
just my thought.
Ellie

[suchacutie]

Hmmm, I'm a bit taken aback that the response to the "ugly mate" comment wasn't instantly something like,

"You don't have an ugly bone in your body" or "I could never imagine the word ugly applied to you in any way" or .... you get the picture.

Tina

[Trisha UK]

Thanks for the replies and advice..... Did not respond straight away in case I put my foot in it, and didn't want to say something overly cheesy!!!

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hi Trisha,

Sounds to me you need to do a little shopping for wife that will make her more beautiful then yourself.