question for cders that have a SO

[CINDYO]

i read on here all the time about what dresses people have purchased, how should make up be applied, what type of dress people are wearing to the Christmas party, how to put on a corset yadda yadda, all about girly stuff and feeling so womanly.

Christmas is all about sparkly, pretty, glam stuff and.. Company coming over, endless hours of food preparation, tons of time decorating, cleaning, buying gifts, wrapping them pretty, working full time and some times overtime to pay for the gifts etc etc ,a real fun time but as many GG's would agree a stressful, make work project sort of time.

I was just wondering, apart from all the fem, fun, pretty stuff. What percentage of you guys really dig in and do the tough behind the scene stuff that is so tiring and stressful at this time of year. Such as baking, planning meals, cleaning the house, thinking of what to buy or do for people, shopping, wrapping all the gifts, putting up all the decorations and of coase then taking them all down, and all the while working full time- cause it takes 2 incomes to have a decent life style.
just curious, cause that's what really being female is, not just the pretty

[Renee W]

I do pretty much all of the stuff around our house and work full time. I was the one who did all the shopping for Thankgiving, did all the cooking, serving and cleanup. All my wife had to do was enjoy. Sad part was I could not do it en femme since I was smoking a turkey on the deck out front, that and working around a hot oven, didn't want to ruin a wig with a blast of hot air. One thing I noticed this year was that all of the things that needed to go in the oven, their directions/recipes all called for the same temp, 375.

We have a unique situation in that my wife is disabled with MS, so I have taken over doing most of the stuff around the house. I don't mind it, rather enjoy it. My only problem is maybe doing some of it to the standards that she would do it. She knows I try, so she doesn't rag on me too much.

Christmas will be the same, I will do most of the work, but oh well, such is life being married.

[CINDYO]

renee, you sound awesome, i hope your wife appreciates you

[Marleena]

Well I'm not a female, not genetically anyways.:) When I'm not doing the "pretty stuff" I usually do the typical guy stuff around the house. That hasn't changed. I made homemade spaghetti and meatballs last week to give my SO a break from cooking. I do order out to give her a break too. I'm making homemade chili today.

As for Christmas shopping and prep I shop for my family, and she shops for hers. She shops with her sisters and her mom so no sense me tagging along. The kids help her with decorating as is their tradition. Her sisters help with cooking chores and such. I get to put new stuff togther (toys, etc.) I get the usual cleanup aftermath from Christmas. So we basically work in our genetically assigned roles for the most part, Cindy.

[Sheila11]

I was just wondering, apart from all the fem, fun, pretty stuff. What percentage of you guys really dig in and do the tough behind the scene stuff that is so tiring and stressful at this time of year. Such as baking, planning meals, cleaning the house, thinking of what to buy or do for people, shopping, wrapping all the gifts, putting up all the decorations and of coase then taking them all down, and all the while working full time- cause it takes 2 incomes to have a decent life style.
just curious, cause that's what really being female is, not just the pretty

You have some amazing sterotypes stuck in your brain. I have always been involed in all of the above, and my wife has never worked.

[vikki2020]

Yeah, I do all of those things, in fact, I do all the cooking! But the cleaning, and all the non-glamorous stuff, we share equally. In fact, I was out dressed yesterday, and did quite a bit of the gift shopping,lol! More fun that way! I think you are right when you say that is part of being female, and I have to admit I've used that thinking in trying to "justify" my femme side to my SO. Like--"see, it has an advantage"!!:battingeyelashes:

[Tina B.]

My wife works, and I am retired, so I also do most of the cooking, and cleaning, this year I did all the decorating, well the most of it anyway. Wife does the Christmas cards, and we both wrap gifts and do the shopping for the extended family. Yesterday it was lighting the front, I love the work that goes with Christmas, especially the baking, I love to bake.
Tina B.

[RADER]

Well I'm am here to tell you I am the woman of the house doing the " Behind the Scene stuff".
My wife is partly Handy-caped, that is she has a hard time walking, and her memory is a problem.
I do not let her cook, clean, do laundry etc. because anything with her standing is out of the
question. So yes, I do all the Christmas Shopping, Decorating, baking, cooking, Christmas Cards etc.
I admit I am retired, and therefore have the time to do all the household tasks as well as taking
care of her. I do not mind, as she will let me dress around the house. I love this girl a whole bunch,
and doing these little things is no big deal. I know that if the roles where reversed, she would take care of
me in a hart-beat.
Rader

[Debglam]

Hi Cindy!

Holidays aside, here is our story. I've been happily married for 20 years, 2 kids, and we view this as a team effort. We both work full time. My wife cooks and I do the dishes. I do the laundry about 90% of the time. We have divided the bills where I pay half and she pays half. We split most everything else up this way. Oh yeah, I do all the house and auto repairs. She does most of the gift related stuff and manages our social calendar. Her biggest gripe, now that we are dealing with the trans stuff, is that I tend not to remember when we have stuff scheduled. She says "I told you about X!" and my reply is that "If its not on my calendar, I don't remember!"

Then I admit that I was wrong, and everything is OK! :)

We have been having this argument since the day we met - I guess every couple needs one of these!

Happy Holidays,
Debby

[kimdl93]

Cindy,

You're right, there's a lot more to life than clothes, make up and parties. Both my first wife and my present wife have had full time jobs. So, sticking them with "womens" work would have been really unfair. I have always felt that I should carry my fair share of the load, not because its feminine/female, but because I think a healty couple shares responsibility. When the kids were little, I was up with them at least as often or more than my wife, got everyone dressed in the morning, had breakfast ready, and got theme off to school. (note - nothing heroic here - I just found it easier to get up and get going in the morning, and of course, I didn't dress full time then, so I didn't need as much time to get ready myself) As for the housework, I do pretty much all of it, as well as much of the cooking. Christmas time is pretty much the same thing, except when a decorating scheme requires good taste...I defer to my wife on such things, but I'll put everything up and take it down.

[Cheryl T]

I was just wondering, apart from all the fem, fun, pretty stuff. What percentage of you guys really dig in and do the tough behind the scene stuff that is so tiring and stressful at this time of year. Such as baking, planning meals, cleaning the house, thinking of what to buy or do for people, shopping, wrapping all the gifts, putting up all the decorations and of coase then taking them all down, and all the while working full time- cause it takes 2 incomes to have a decent life style.
just curious, cause that's what really being female is, not just the pretty

Well Cindy, in our home in preparation for Christmas I did about half the cleaning. I store all the decorations and retrieve them, put up the tree, decorate the outside of the house with my wife, buy most of the gifts, wrap ALL the gifts except those for me, shop with my wife for the gifts I can't get on my own, take down the ornaments and the tree, store them for next year. I help her send out the Christmas cards and prepare for company.

As for the pretty stuff. This year I helped her decide what she would wear to her company party (employees only) and loaned her one of my skirts to wear. We have a Tri-Ess party this Saturday and I will be wearing her shoes with my outfit and she is probably going to wear one of my dresses. She just styled my wig for me and I am loaning her jewelry also. I'll be helping her with her makeup (she wears little ... a natural beauty) and loving every minute of it.

Yes, I revel in the time I get to be dressed in party style, but it's certainly not the reason I look forward to Christmas. My favorite time will be Christmas morning when she opens all the presents I have for her. I'm sure she can't guess but one and there will be lots of surprises...none of which have anything to do with CD.

[jamie-upstate]

I just love to cook for those special gettogethers. 13 for dinner Thanksgiving I made to most delousious Filet Mignon, roast garlic mashed potatoes, and Itialian style Green Beans.
When my wife and I frist started to go out she was not a person to be in kitchen. she has come a long long way, but i love holidays
Something about putting on that apron I think.
Oh the goood old days .

[Babette]

Cindy, I do everything that you ask about with the exception of not doing it alone. My wife and always do these things together. It's a lot easier that way. As for cooking, we both like to eat and co-preparing a good meal is always more fun. Since I help dirty the house, then I help clean our house too. Decorating our home absolutely requires both of us. Somebody has to hold the ladder while the other climbs the ladder. I usually dig the decorations out from the attic while she gets them ready to hang.

Babette

[jillleanne]

Interesting. Here's our scenario: both cook, clean, we shop together, she holds the nail, I hit it, she ONLY does laundry as she does not like the color pink as much as I do. We write and wrap cheques for Christmas in about 5 minutes, we do not put up a tree in the front window but rather like to drive by and look at yours so make it nice, ok? , no kids at home, we are both retired I'm 57, she's 49. We generally travel abroad at Christmas time, even had hot dogs at Denny's one year for Christmas in Florida; seems alot of people like Denny's at Christmas as the place was packed. Food at Christmas seems to taste alot like food we eat all year long. We don't get too hyped about food as we generally eat it most days anyway. If not travelling, we usually go to one of out parents' homes a few hours away or out of province and are most happy that day when we get back to our own home for some peace and quiet, something lacking at the inlaws. So there you have it. We do not have any stress in our lives anymore. We did once and didn't like it so we got rid of it all. If we had to do all the things you mention, can you imagine the effects it would have on my nails and the time it would take away from me looking my perfect self? I THINK NOT!!! Sheeeeeez!

[Miranda-E]

I was just wondering, apart from all the fem, fun, pretty stuff. What percentage of you guys really dig in and do the tough behind the scene stuff that is so tiring and stressful at this time of year. Such as baking, planning meals, cleaning the house, thinking of what to buy or do for people, shopping, wrapping all the gifts, putting up all the decorations and of coase then taking them all down, and all the while working full time- cause it takes 2 incomes to have a decent life style.
just curious, cause that's what really being female is, not just the pretty

And its what really being male is.
Things need to get done. Being female require no more or less work than being male.

[Miss Maxine]

Are you kidding??? Housework is a GG's job! :loser: Hehe...seriously, though, I do most of the household chores, since my girlfriend is a cripple. I love being a housewife. It's the best job I've ever had!

[Lorileah]

I was just wondering, apart from all the fem, fun, pretty stuff. What percentage of you guys really dig in and do the tough behind the scene stuff that is so tiring and stressful at this time of year. Such as baking, planning meals, cleaning the house, thinking of what to buy or do for people, shopping, wrapping all the gifts, putting up all the decorations and of coase then taking them all down, and all the while working full time- cause it takes 2 incomes to have a decent life style.
just curious, cause that's what really being female is, not just the pretty

All the above. And it wasn't anything to do with dressing. It was because it is what I do. And trust me it wasn't pretty. :)

I have always considered my So's as best friends and partners as well as lovers. We gravitated to things that we "did" like cleaning and laundry (well after I washed the towels with the delicates). I loved shopping and especially "power" shopping so almost all the gifts were bought by me. I like cooking (all the boys in my family does). I can wrap with the best of them (in fact it was a delegated job when I was in retail because I could wrap faster than other associates). My wife didn't like decorating but she liked the results.

I always wonder about households who divide chores by "expected" gender roles.

[suchacutie]

The things that need to get done are put on a list, sometimes even designated by due dates, and then WE get it done. Marriage is a partnership, after all.

[Raychel Torn]

I never really though of it as being related to my CD'ing in any way but I do all the shopping and most of the cooking. I was the one to hand make my kids costumes and I always did my girls hair. That being said my wife has always done the wash and kept the house clean. We both do our part.

[taís]

uhm, maybe you should create the notjustthepretty. com forum... ;)

the reason you see more "sparkly" posts is because that's part of crossdressing, while household tasks are not (usually (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?165429-Maid-to-Order&p=2685129&viewfull=1#post2685129)). but you called the subject and there you are: we can see in the answers that a lot of great people are... great people within the household too.

also I don't think that your "tough behind the scene stuff" description is "what really being female is". to me is a whole different thing. (I believe you know that too but I'm being picky. ;))

hope my answer doesn't sound rude, not my intention. just (ranting) my 0,02 ^ ^

lovely holidays for you and your family. ;x

[TGMarla]

All this holiday stuff is a joint effort in our house. My wife does what she can, time permitting, and I bust my a$$ doing everything else. I make biscochitos, do most of the cooking, I decorate, I make pie, I wrap a lot of the gifts. I never really thought of it as a femme activity, just holiday stuff, jointly executed. The sparkly dressy stuff is just part time fluff I engage in if I have time. Same for her, if at all. It's more about family than fluff.

[Roslyn]

In any successful marraige, work is shared across the board. In my case some might think my wife gets the short end of the stick, as I am home less than 30 days out of the year on average. But in the rare times I get home for the holidays, I generally do a good bit of the shopping, and the cooking. We don't have any family within 500 miles, nor does my wife have a job (by choice), so a lot of the other holiday chores you describe don't apply to our family. However, she does do the decorating and tear down solo, as I am not there to do it for her, but since Christmas time is her absolute favorite time, I'm not sure she'd let me do it anyway, lol... Anyway, we both have important roles, and neither are particularly gender defined, more defined by necessity and circumstance...

[Missy]

lets see I cook dinners lunch any meal we may want to eat 90%
I wash most the dishes 95%
I wash and fold clothes 97%
I make your bed 98%
I clean house the kitchen the toilet and even due yard work and anything else that may need to be done
I work two part time jobs total time 60 hours a week while wife works 1 full time job
wife keeps telling me that I make a great wife and the she still looking for a maids outfit for me to wear lol

[Launa]

In our house my wife does all cooking, cleaning, getting things to look pretty. I'm just the laborer if she needs it. I am very good with power tools, ripping apart stuff constructing all over again the way she wants it. She says its a good trade off. I love to clean wearing a dress. I need the French maids outfit though!

[Georgia Rose]

My wife is retired and since she took that step she seems to want to do most of the house stuff. However I do all the decorating for Christmas and probably 50% of the cooking. Usually the cooking etc depends on who is coming. If our sons come then it is usually my wife, me and the 2 sons who cook. I buy gifts etc as I like to surprise people with what I buy. I also look after all the refreshments and all the outdoor stuff. It usually works out fairly even between us.

[Sedona]

I agree with the "crossdressing is about clothes" camp. That's all I'll say about that.

My wife handles most of the gift shopping/wrapping/decorating/cookie making

I handle most of the grocery shopping/cleaning/laundry/candy making (I'm good at it).

Works for us!

[Beth Mays]

If I wanted it done.. I did it. and same for her.

[Meg East]

I do most of the cooking and we split the housework and laundry. We both work and everything is a joint venture. Would say more but I got to go clean up the kitchen then make my wife a cup of tea. FYI I am in a skirt and heels.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I actually do most of the cooking, and setting up the food table. As for cleaning the house and getting it organized, I'm ashamed to say I have a long way to go with improving in that area.

[Debra Russell]

We both do it all what ever is required-----we are a team and work together...................Debra