Whoops!

[JenniferR771]

The Mrs knows, but strongly disaproves. I get off this site or switch to another tab when she walks into our computer room.
She walked in and said, "Let me use the computer so I can check my e-mail."
me,"Let me close out a certain tab and site, first."
her, "I need to check now. Just get out of the way."
me, "I want to get out, and you don't want to see certain things." I suspected that my pic might be visible.
her, "Just get out of that chair and I will check my email!" Yup, she clicked this site, and I had just posted a message. My avatar photo taken in the basement was visible.
her, "Its not like I haven't seen your pic before. You don't look that good."

I was somewhat happy. No profanity, shouting or recriminations. Baby steps.

[docrobbysherry]

Interesting, Jenn. That's exactly what I tell my daughter when she wants to use the computer! Of course, she probably thinks I'm looking at porn! Lol! I wonder if your wife thinks that, too, sometimes?

[jillleanne]

Yes Jennifer, sometimes it's the baby steps that get from point a to point b. If you can get to the point whereby you feel comfortable not hiding what you are doing online, that will be a big step. Even while looking at shoe sites, you might mention out loud, "Honey, Payless have a BOGO sale on this week and they have some shoes I think you might like."
Once I came out to me s/o, I made a point of telling her when I was online on a gender related site or even close to. Why not? She knows anyway. She was born at night, not last night. So why try to hide what you are doing. I also encouraged her to join various groups, sites, etc. I also left all my passwords out for her in the event she wanted to read my emails. I had never had anything to hide from her so why not? We now regularly discuss gender issues. Just hiois week she joined a group for gg's only and told me while she was doing it. I told her I thought that was wonderful of her to stay involved in my gender issues and if I could help, just ask.

[donnatracey]

Somewhat happy?? If my SO/wife talked to me like that I would not be happy...and neither would she, when she heard my response!.....:devil:

IMO, she was very rude.......:thumbsdn:

[LydiaAnn]

Hang in there, Jennifer. Be true to yourself. And, with all due respect, I disagree with your Mrs. You look nice!

[Cynthia Anne]

I guess that could be called a baby step! Sounds if you are use to a lot worse! Perhaps the rude comment is an improvement! But hey now wait a moment! I don't think you look that bad! Hugs!

[Cherry Lynn]

Somewhat happy?? If my SO/wife talked to me like that I would not be happy...and neither would she, when she heard my response!.....:devil:

IMO, she was very rude.......:thumbsdn:
Michigan girls must be diferent from us Texas girls.

[DanaR]

We have more than one computer.

[GeminaRenee]

I think one of the best thing about coming to this site is that it's a constant reminder that it's better to take one's chances being open and honest about dressing with potential mates, rather than allow things to get too far with someone who can't be accepting.

[Beverley Sims]

Michigan girls must be diferent from us Texas girls.
Yes the accent and the southern drawl for a start.
The Texans respond to my sense of humor better.

[Jodi M]

I think you look great Jennifer,in both your avatar and your profile photos. Sounds like the wife is becoming at least tolerant.

[jillleanne]

I think one of the best thing about coming to this site is that it's a constant reminder that it's better to take one's chances being open and honest about dressing with potential mates, rather than allow things to get too far with someone who can't be accepting.

Very true kalibrooke. Of course we do not know all the circumstances each and everyone here are going through in their lives individually. What we read here is simply a moment in time in everyone's life and to guess at how well or bad their relationships are is very subjective. It could be for Jennifer( who looks great in her avatar pic BTW), her wife is suspicious of Jennifer about whom she is online with and hence the rush to use the 'puter, who knows. I do know this: If something is being hidden in a relationship, irregardless of what it is, it is usually reflected by the person hiding it through their attitudes, personality, and otherwise, daily actions. Women in particular have a very keen sense of character changes. They can pick up on the slightest change in a personality. Better to get the issue out in the open than wait for the questions to begin later on because usually the questions are not based on fact.

[linda allen]

I don't get on this site if my wife is home. And I clear all the browsing history after being here. My photos are on a passworded thumb drive that's kept in a drawer, not in the computer.

[Abbey Lane]

"her, "Its not like I haven't seen your pic before. You don't look that good."
I was somewhat happy. No profanity, shouting or recriminations. Baby steps. "



Apparently she know you dress? So whats the big deal. That's her remark and just left it like that? No 1000 questions? Not a storming wife? Not fight? Wow you got away easy I think...I told my wife 3 weeks ago and she was very understanding and had lots of questions. But to just say that it appears she must of known you been dressing all along. So perhaps I was confused by this post.

[DonnaT]

My wife knows as well, but does not strongly disapprove. However, she doesn't like me to spend time online. I can be on the computer without being on a forum site, and she'll suspect I'm on the forum anyway.

She tends to prefer using IE, where I prefer using Firefox, so I can immediately minimize Firefox, leaving IE open for her to use.


If she wants to see what I've been up to, then it's on her if she doesn't like what she sees.

[RenneB]

cost me over $2,000 to fix that one... Had to buy a wireless router and three laptops for the SO and the biological replacements... They told me this lifestyle was going to get expensive.... Oh and had to by a slave drive where all of Renne's pics are stored...

Renne......

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Jennifer

It was good to hear she took the seeing of this site in her stride without recriminations.

For some this may not seem such a big step but it is a sign of progress however small.
Even the longest journey starts with one small step.

[jillleanne]

I don't get on this site if my wife is home. And I clear all the browsing history after being here. My photos are on a passworded thumb drive that's kept in a drawer, not in the computer.

Not trying to hijack the thread, but what do you do when she wants to use the thumbdrive or see what's on it? Just curious.

[Alice B]

That is an interesting response and does show an inkling of acceptance. My wife knows I'm on this site often and I do not need to tab it out whn she comes in. She has her own computers (2), thus no need to use mine. I showed her shots of me from DLV last year and did not get any negative responses, but not so sure what she would say if she saw the shots of me around the house.

[Barbara Ella]

Wife is computer phobic. Knows about this site, and I have offered to get her on, but she just wont do it. Refuses to get an e mail account. Trying to get her to look, maybe see something interesting, and want to be here too..

Babes

[Marissa333]

I think you look very pretty. Maybe it's time for an iPad for you.

Sent from my iPad as I hide in a corner from my wife...

[Eryn]

Computers are cheap. In fact, the one I am using right now was a throwaway Pentium III that cost me nothing. I just tossed Ubuntu onto it and it works just fine for web browsing, photo editing, etc. Leave the other computer for your wife and have a private machine (password protected if you wish) for yourself.

I think that your wife's comment was rather hurtful as well. I doubt that she would appreciate a similar comment about her. Another good reason for a computer of your own.

Eryn

[linda allen]

The Mrs knows, but strongly disaproves.............her, "Its not like I haven't seen your pic before. You don't look that good."

And your answer should have been "Well, then why don't you help me so I can look better?"

[linda allen]

Not trying to hijack the thread, but what do you do when she wants to use the thumbdrive or see what's on it? Just curious.

She doesn't know what a thumb drive is or where it's kept. And she has no need of a thumb drive. Actually, there are two or three in there, my special one is marked.

She uses the computer to play games (not on-line games) and has now learned how to shop on the Internet. :eek:

[linda allen]

.........I think that your wife's comment was rather hurtful as well. I doubt that she would appreciate a similar comment about her.

Perhaps, but it's really hard for us to be objective about how we look as females so it's not the same as making a comment about her looks.

[Marie-Elise]

"Its not like I haven't seen your pic before. You don't look that good."

Don't take this the wrong way but isn't that like borderline abusive? I mean, if a man said it to a woman, it could be construed as such. And don't even think about saying that to a woman in the workplace.

I guess I am just sensitive to that type of thing. To me, that was a statement made to make you feel less about yourself.