The practicalities of CD-ing

[sarahcsc]

Hi everybody,

You all must be wondering what I meant by the practicalities of CD-ing... >_<

Can I know how ya'll keep your clothes hidden away? Ie. Do you keep them in the garage, in your closet, in a box, hidden all over the house, in a locked box?

How do you avoid detection or more importantly, how did you get detected (if you had been)?

How do you shop for your clothes/lingerie? Online vs public shopping, the pros and cons... I've been shopping mostly online and sometimes gets these huge parcels with the words "dresses" written all over it. Its so obvious and if I keep this up, I will definitely get detected!!

For those who has been doing it for years but managed to keep it hidden, can I have some tips?

[KimberlyJane]

I gave up on the societal shame a long time ago, I do not keep it hidden at all! I am very proud to be dual gendered, and love to show off any outfit be it pretty or handsome.. I have one closet for Tim, one for Kimberly, but admit Kimberly has more clothes, and certainly more shoes!!

I shop both online and in stores, mostly online for shoes as I have size 13 or 14 women's feet, and it's just too hard to find any shoes that big in stores.

[prettytoes]

I used to hide my clothes in a large storage box used for seasonal clothing....summer clothes in the winter, winter clothes in the summer. My wife spotted a bit of pink (sports bra) peeking out of my laptop bag several months ago when I was away for a weekend. She did a subsequent search and found everything. It lead to a week of silence, then some long tearful talks. She is now fairly accepting and life is much better. I wish that I would have told her long ago. It is really nice to be able to have my toenails painted, hang out around the house in snug fitting yoga pants, and wear satin bikini panties, among other things. She has only asked not to see me in a dress or skirt.

Most of my shopping is done on E-bay because I can get some real bargains. Only a couple of times have I been mildly dissapointed, mostly due to size issues. I do shop locally, but I will not take things to a dressing room to try them on. Most stores have an SA counting the number of garments you are trying on. I was at a major chain store once and wanted to buy a long sleeved athletic top for riding my bike on chilly mornings. I ride early, so it is still dark and I wanted something brightly colored. All the men's shirts were dark and dull; they had a women's that was bright neon green. It didn't come off as very femme, but the SA gave me quite a glare when I wanted to take it into a fitting room to try it on. I actually had a good reason, besides CD'ing, but I didn't feel as though I should have to explain anything to a snotty SA. I have no problem buying my panties locally. This is the perfect time of year for a shopping spree...lot's of men shopping for wives/girlfriends, or both! lol

[Keely]

Iused to keep them hidden away in boxes in the garage attic.
Still have overflow there but my closet is where I keep the ones I like to wear frequently.

As to shopping it's almost always in stores in drab. I will take them to the men's changing rooms to try on.
My favorite stores are Kohl's and JCP. Never had a problem in either.

[erickka]

I have a huge locker in my workshop, which contains Erickka's things. As far as shopping, I go wherever I want, buy what I want or need and the SA's are always happy to take my lettuce! BTW, I usually shop in drab, and haven't had any problems as of yet.

[Erica Marie]

For us unfortunate few who still must keep everything hidden away. I have a few rubbermaid bins that i keep in an upstairs crawl space hidden under other seasonal items that dont get used too often. I am always nervous that one day someone will go snooping, but for now its the best solution I have. If it was just me and the gf, things would be fine, she knows and is accepting of it. But I still have teenage kids at home and the questions would be too hard to answer.

[LeaP]

Everything is in the master bedroom closet, hanging in plain view or put away in drawers along with everything else. The only nod to privacy is that my female clothing, as well as clothing we share, is hanging in a designated section on my wife's side. That is to avoid questions when (adult) chidren visit.

Lea

[miaTX86]

Get divorced, just kidding. But seriously, lol.

[Beth Mays]

Get divorced, just kidding. But seriously, lol.

UMMMM... I am working on that now.

[Renee W]

In our old house I used to keep my stuff up in the attic locked in an old brief case. When we mved I kept it in an old duffel bag in a closet and then started keeping some hidden under someextra thermals in a spare dresser. Started getting careless (maybe subconsiously) about hiding things good and my wife found somethings while I was at work. Came out to her completely after that point.

Since then, I have one whole dresser and one closet just for Renee's stuff. As far as tips about hiding it....

After my experience of coming out to my wife and how much my life has changed since then, I would think about getting tips on how to come out to your SO/family or whomever so you no longer have to hide it. Whether the outcome is that you can then openly dress or you can dress but only in private, you will not have to worry about hiding your things. You will also no longer have to worry about coming home from work and facing the dreaded "look what I found..who is she?"

[Tina B.]

Metal trunks are cheap and come with a lock, put it in the attic, garage, or where ever. I used it for years, then I got married and told my wife about me, now they hang in the master bedroom closet, and my chest of drawers, What little guy stuff I still have stays in a closet outside of the bedroom, no room with the wife and Tina sharing the master bedroom closet.
Tina B.

[Crissy Kay]

It does make things easier if you don"t have much stuff. My petticoats are stored in trash bags, just kind of mashed together behind a desk. The rest of my stuff is in boxes under my bed, or in my closet. I do have a few dresses hanging up, but covered by guy stuff.

[Cynthia Anne]

Hi Sarah! I don't hide anything! Yes, I live alone! I shop in person always enfeme when and where I want! Hugs!

[Cheryl T]

I keep mine in the closet...there's so much more room there since I left it.
As for shopping...well, I just put on something cute, fix my hair and do my makeup, grab my purse and drive to the mall. Then if I see something I like and it's my size I take it to the fitting room and try it on, then I model it for my spouse and get her opinion. If we both agree it looks nice and the price is right I take it to the register, give the SA my credit card and buy it.
Then we go have some lunch and visit more stores.


Wasn't always so easy. I used to shop alone, in drab, looking over my shoulder all the time to see who was watching this guy in the ladies department. Then red faced I would pay cash for it (no paper trail) and sneak it into the house, try it on then hide it in the box with my other things and bury it in the corner of the attic, say a prayer no one ever finds it and then try to act all normal when my wife got home.

God am I glad those days are over!!!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My clothes are kept everywhere all over my house, what helps in my case is that most of my clothes fit my wife. My other items such as shoes and wigs I no longer really care about people discovering, but out of respect for my wife I keep them hidden.

I do not have company over my house too often so there is very little opportunity to be detected, again not that I really care at this point.

Do to having a very chaotic disorganized schedule I have to do most of my shopping on line now. The only benefit is that I can take my time to very carefully gauge and determine if the items I purchase will work for me. As for getting items in the mail, all items wigs, shoes, lingerie, hanes catalogs etc. are shipped to me in my male name and I do not care what the mail man who does not know me and will never know me, or my neighbors who I do not talk outside of saying " hello" once a month while getting in my car think about me.

[Karren H]

I built a Star Trek repicator so I get new clothes every time I dress. Really cuts down on storage requirements but my power bill went through the roof!

[JenniferR771]

My Ms knows, but disapproves. In the past I had pretty dresses in my car trunk. I also hid stuff in gym bags bags behind the seat of my pickup, in my closet hidden under sport coats or in garment bags, others mixed in with my wife's seldom-used clothes. But recently she convinced me to move my stuff to my garden shed and bought me some big plastic tubs for the stuff that can't hang up. Brrr...silicone can really get cold! And the mice got into my wedding dress--hate when that happens.

[UNDERDRESSER]

When I was younger, I had a couple of items that would have been hard to explain. I realized that a panel above the door in a small closet could be closed off from the inside by pinning another panel there. It made room for the items, but unless you climbed in the closet, ( difficult ) it looked like it was built that way.

[suzy1]

Get divorced, just kidding. But seriously, lol.

Get divorced, not kidding!

I live on my own and love it. For a C.D. girl like me its heaven on earth.

[LeaP]

Isn't it interesting that when spouses' sensibilities collide, those of wives win out? WHY is all the consideration of feelings and need on the wives' side when this happens? Do you live fully in your own houses or not? (This is not addressed to the closeted ... That I get)

Lea

[Jilmac]

When I was in the closet I kept my stash of clothes in several boxes in the basement. It is no longer necessary for me to hide and now I keep all my pretty clothes in two closets. I never bought anything on line because I want to make sure what I buy fits. As for buying now, I'll shop at thrift stores, big box, and department stores and not worry about what anybody thinks or says. I can't suggest where to hide your clothes, that has to be your choice, but I found it's much easier being out than it was in the closet.

[RenneB]

How to maintain your secret identity like supergirl.

Keep your outfits in a storage bin in the basement. At least that’s what I do. In fact that’s how I found this site by searching how to hide CD clothes. Keep all the bins the same. Same color, same type, same size, same lids. Store your bins in one location and the bins containing other non-supergirl stuff in another location. Don’t label the bins. If you do, label them with “your name” stuff to sort or something that won’t raise attention. If you only get into the outfit once in a while, drill a hole in the side near the handle and attach onetime use wire ties. After you get into the supergirl outfit, close all the bins back up and put them away, especially if you’re going out. If you are going out, carry a bale out bag complete with non-supergirl clothes, shoes, water, makeup remover, towel, coat etc. If you ever break down and need to call the family for assistance you don’t want to look like supergirl.

When ordering supergirl clothes from eb*y or where ever on line, make sure you know when it is going to arrive and how. The US postal service is pretty regular and if you know what time the letter carrier comes to your residence, you can meet the mail. If it’s coming by non-USPS you better be home all day every day to meet the truck. All packaging for supergirl outfits must be shredded. The bigger the spreader the better. Leave no evidence of anything. If for some reason someone else in your family says you got a package, just say you were ordering a present and they shouldn’t open it.

Make up. I keep all my make up in a tackle box in one of the storage bins. Remember, anything that you put on, you’ll have to take off. If you put on waterproof makeup, you’ll need waterproof makeup remover. When you’re taking off your makeup and throwing the tissues in the toilet, keep the lid up even after you flush the toilet. Make sure that it all goes down. If you through the left over stuff in a waste basket, empty it. I carry a plastic bag with me to the makeup room and put all the left overs in it. When I’m done, I take it out to the big can.

Nails - If you put on nail polish, you need nail polish remover. If you use faux nails and are only in supergirl mode for a day or so, use the brush on glue. It’s not as strong as the superglue that comes out in drops. Also, get the five in one false nail remover. Another thing. Always, I mean always, feel your nails. If one pops off and hours later you notice it missing, you’ll never find it but someone else will.

If you’re going to wear supergirl antiperspirant get the same kind as the GGs in your house have. If they find yours, just say, you bought them extras. You get the added benefit of smelling like them and after a while, they can’t tell what you smell like. If they do discover it on you, just say you like the protection of not sweating.

Hair – If you’re using faux hair, clean up after you brush. In fact get your own wig brush and keep it with your makeup in a bin. Remember these things can shed and you’ll have to clean the bathroom floor every day.

Computers – If you have the only computer in the house and others like/need to use it, buy them their own and set up a wireless router. Don’t let anyone have access to your drives. Make sure that they can print through the router also so they don’t need yours to print. Clear you cache, history, etc all the time.

Pictures – Keep any pictures of CDng, you in supergirl outfits, etc. on a slave drive. Tell them it’s a backup to the main computer and they should go into it. Disconnect the slave drive when you’re not at your computer. If you store pictures on your camera’s mini-drive, clear it when you put it away..

I know this is a long post, but if you want to keep your identity secret, you really have to pay attention to the details of everything you do. Be ready with excuses for every question.

Why are your legs so smooth? I shave ‘cus I like the way it feels or I must have gotten too close to the camp fire.
Why do your eyes look dark? I must have been workin in the garage and got some dirt on them…
Why is your mouth so red? I must have used red chap stick.

I could go on and on… as it takes a lot to keep your secret identity secret. So much so that eventually, you’re goin to get ‘caught’.. It's like the perfect crime - there's no such thing.

Most of the advice you get on this site will be that you should be open and honest and not hide your true inner feelings. Well that works for some, but for others, you need to stay in the closet for one reason or another…

Renne…..

[sarahcsc]

I've read all of your posts!

I have to say Renne gave me the most comprehensive methods and laid it out systematically so I don't miss anything and wow, those are really intricate details I never thought about. I'm gonna just copy and paste that somewhere so I can read it over and over again.

As for shopping...well, I just put on something cute, fix my hair and do my makeup, grab my purse and drive to the mall. Then if I see something I like and it's my size I take it to the fitting room and try it on, then I model it for my spouse and get her opinion. If we both agree it looks nice and the price is right I take it to the register, give the SA my credit card and buy it.
Then we go have some lunch and visit more stores.
Thats really good that you found someone!


Get divorced, not kidding!

I live on my own and love it. For a C.D. girl like me its heaven on earth.
No kidding... I guess living alone does appeal to some. I don't mind living alone as I've done that for many years. But I do appreciate company and I still enjoy intimacy with my girlfriend. However, knowing her, I doubt she'll be accepting or will ever be accepting of this. Its that part about being in an Asian community and also a doctor that puts me at a disadvantage. Asians aren't very open to CD-ing in my opinion, and I have a reputation to uphold (within the Asian circle) for being a doctor. I must not be poor, sad, irresponsible, deceitful, and above all... a crossdresser. Sometimes I wish I could just be invisible ya know?

I guess... Its very much like living with diabetes. It is something you have to think of everyday and for many diabetics, it eventually becomes a routine and they don't think about it anymore. There are those who manage their diabetes very well and go on to live a long and healthy life free from complications, then there are those who fails to pay attention to details and falls through the cracks.

But coming back to the practicalities...

I keep most of my stuff in my closet and clothing drawers and my girlfriend comes visit from time to time and stay over. Otherwise, I managed to keep my secret hidden largely because nobody ever comes to my place. But I am just thinking of ways to be more careful and also very importantly, to speed up the CD process! Often times I find myself coming home late at night following a hard day's work and still wanting to CD to wind down but I get too tired... Too tired to go through all the "protocols" to ensure I don't leave any trails. I want to just leave my bra on my laptop sometimes and go to bed. But CDing the night before means I will have to wake up early to clean up the following morning before going to work because my girlfriend pays me surprise visits from time to time! >_<

So yeah... there are some issues to consider.
On the whole, I found CD-ing to be incredibly gratifying but only if I took my time. Yet sometimes I just wanted to put on something simple and lounge around the place in say... a silk chemise.
I would appreciate if anybody could provide feedback if they've found a balance between security and convenience.

[Launa]

My SO has known about me dressing from day 3 but the kids don't know. My stuff is in doubled up green garbge bags in the garage. I used to have them in different boxes around the house but noticed the kids had become looky loos. So now its all in the garage until tomorrow!!! I've got the day off.

[drushin703]

I have a special closet in an upstairs bedroom that has a spin lock on it where I keep all of my things.My wigs are in plastic sleeves and in a large bin. My
dresses are all on hangers and my shoes are in their original boxes.Trouble is, there is so much stuff, its hard as hell to close the door and engage the lock.

Most of my shopping is done in person (and in drab) except for my shoes and my extreme girlies. .Most of my dresses come from JCP and my girdles, panties, shoes,
peticoats, bras, breastforms, wigs, leggings, pantyhose, slips, bustias (did I spell that right), outerwear, mini skirts, blouses and perfume come from the
internet. My skin is dark so all makeup purchases must be made in person........dana

[docrobbysherry]

I've been buying mail order girly things for 15 years. Never have I received a package that said, "Dress", (or whatever it was), on the outside, Sarah! Some have return addresses like FOH, etc. But, it could be something for a female family member. I receive EVERYTHING at my office.

"---balance between security and convenience." NO WAY! That would mean having EVERYTHING accessible in my home! I have a semi load of ladies gear spread over 3 separate locations! The only reason I haven't been caught is my teen kid is completely self absorbed! Ha ha!

[yas159]

I have most of my clothes in suitcases hidden in the attic... Its not a perfect solution and at xmas time i wonder if they will be disturbed.. but hay ho, at least i can get to them quickly...

[sometimes_miss]

Let's see if I can remember. I used to hide stuff up in the drop ceiling in the basement in plastic bags. Also, while working in the unfinished attic, I had to remove some floorboards to get to the electrics below. Of course, I knew what I was going to do; set it up so that I could keep those floorboards intact but not nailed down; I just kept something over them. I hid lots of things below the floor in between the joists. You can pick up an old computer server case on wheels, keep it empty, and keep stuff in there. Or, just keep it all in cardboard boxes labeled something other than what's in it. Such as, 'old football tapes' or something like that. I kept my girly vhs tapes in star trek boxes, knowing my wife at the time would never watch them. Oh, that's an idea! Label the box star trek / star wars / etc., some geeky thing no one in their right mind would be interested in. Say, the Dune movie. Put smaller box with girl things in bottom, cover with boring sci fi / sports stuff on top of it (obscure fiction things are best, but oddball topics like '1976 wristwrestling championship tapes 1 through 9' might dissuade any interest in looking in that box at all. Then stick the box in the farthest reaches, top of bottom of attic or closet. Oh yeah, I almost forgot this one. When we moved from an apartment to the house, I brought along an old footlocker full of dirty motorcycle parts, clearly labeled 'spare motorcycle parts'. I made sure my wife saw it open, full of old, dirty junk. A few months later, I discarded the junk and started keeping my girl clothes in it. I kept it behind the spare wood in my workshop, under some oddly cut 4x8 pieces, sure never to be bothered with.

[Allisa]

Hello sarahcsc,I nave a suggestion for you about shopping on line ;first for security reasons open a seperate banking account just for your shopping needs away from your usuall account.Then if your shopping with retailers ask about plain wrapping thru their web site.Okay as far as hidding your clothes please keep in mind they need to be clean,folded and kept dry.A good wig can never be folded,stuffed,crumpelled or cramed in a box or bag so I am of no help there.Also when I started to explore "Lisa" I was living alone so hiding my clothes was never an issue thats not to say that I have'nt lost many girlfriends and lovers once they snooped before I could tell them and then they leave so now it's a non issue.

[kimberly23]

well, i 'am hiding my stuff in my bedroom cabinet under the akqarium. that cabinet is fully loaded with 135ltr. of water on top and was not safe to open the doors, until i had used old vhs and books to make a support posts to that. remved some useless crap and i got a place for me to store my stuff. and locked, in my room. nobody even have a imagine that. locked is for years.
but when i had last girfriend, not long time ago ve split, i feel the need to tel her about. one time when we get back from some party, i told it to her and after some days i show it to her. i fell better than before,but not that much she after.
and when and when we had a fight sometimes, she used it against me, mostly in our friends company or Public... our
partnership start to spinned to be over quickly. she never get it through. so i end it up than, few weeks ago and i got peace in mind now. and also i'am free to get dress up when i like plus what i like... :)

[Tara Bordeaux]

I live on my own and love it. For a C.D. girl like me its heaven on earth.

My thoughts also. I live alone and it's not an issue. I change into my girl things as soon as I get home from work,
and do not have to worry about hiding/storage problems.

[sarahcsc]

I guess everybody's solution is tailored to individual needs. But I do appreciate everybody's feedback. =) There is no way to balance security and convenience. More security will means more inconvenience. Sigh... I'll have to work something out. >_<

Thanks ya'll

[SallyS]

My female clothes are in the same wardrobe as the wife's, next to my male clothes.

I don't think my kids pay much attention? The other night my eldest daughter took out a tunic top of mine and suggested mum wore it to a girls night out!!!! Not once has she said 'why don't you ever wear that nice chiffon blouse mum?' ;)

The 'giverway' stuff, wig, breast forms etc, are kept out of sight.

I'm shaved all over and not of has said anything about my hairless legs?

I certainly don't walk about in gear when the kids are at home, but anyone of them who might be suspicion will get a straight answer, 'yes I am a cross dresser, but I'm still your dad, I love you....now go do your homework' :)

[kimdl93]

I don't hide, because I'm out to my wife, several neighbors and family members.

[Meg East]

I also don't hide. My wife does suggest I cleanup my pile of skirts, slips and bras about once a week.

[Dawn cd]

If I had to hide as much stuff and invent as many stories as Renne does, I think I'd go crazy. It's a major balancing act, and it's only a matter of time until something goes wrong and the whole house of cards collapses. At least it would be for me. So I keep my femme clothes hanging in my closet and in my bureau. It's SO much simpler.

[Sarah Doepner]

Before my wife found out about my crossdressing I had a limited stash of clothes that were not very well taken care of since I had to cram more and more things into what seemed to be smaller and smaller spaces. The other problem was I would go through her things looking for something to wear, not a good or respectful choice. I had a duffle bag full of things in the basement stored on a top shelf with my camping gear. I had to make sure when anyone in the family was going camping and wanted to borrow gear, I had to be there to make sure they didn't look in that bag.

Since she found out and decided I was the same person, just packaged a little differently at times, my clothes are hanging up or folded. They are clean and there are a lot more things to choose from. There are benefits beyond the psychological for coming out to those close to you and one of them is how you treat your wardrobe.

[Acastina]

I gave up on the societal shame a long time ago, I do not keep it hidden at all! I am very proud to be dual gendered, and love to show off any outfit be it pretty or handsome.. I have one closet for Tim, one for Kimberly, but admit Kimberly has more clothes, and certainly more shoes!!

I shop both online and in stores, mostly online for shoes as I have size 13 or 14 women's feet, and it's just too hard to find any shoes that big in stores.

When my wife and I met ten years ago, she already knew, so I never had to hide anything. I know what you mean about the girl closet being larger than the boy closet. Our only issue is that my girl closet is eight feet long and she'd like to share some of it...

One very nice thing about not having to stash it away is that it's much easier to keep one's wardrobe clean, properly hung or folded, and organized. They are clothes after all, and I'm afraid that some (especially beginners) CDs don't attend very well to keeping their girl clothes clean and neat.

[jillleanne]

Apparently I don't have any stuff because my s/o appears daily in it and says she bought it for her. Ahhh yes, the shoes, I do have shoes still!!!!!! I keep them everywhere and anywhere I can find a place for another pair. Guess I should thin them out before years end.