My Struggle :(

[Jessica1984]

So I haven't posted here in a while, so first of all hi and I missed you folks! Anywho, I am a new dresser, been dressing for a few months now, then I quickly lost the urge. I had wanted to for a very long time then when I finally did it I absolutely loved it, but it faded quickly. However during this recent time that I haven't been dressing, I have still been wearing panties under my clothes. Now the urge is back stronger than ever and I want to take it even further. I already shave from neck to toe, and am growing my hair out. I wish more and more that I had been born a woman, and I feel like that is what I was suppose to be. Even the way I act has always been femme even since I was a child. My only problem is my job and my SA obviously would not be ok should I be able to transition to what I am suppose to be in the future. I know we have seen very similar posts numerous times, and that this one is poorly written, but I do not have anyone to talk to about this and I feel much better just blurting it out on here. Anyhow I will be around here for a long time to come and again its great to be back. I am going to check out urnotalone and see if I can locate a friend somewhat close to me who shares these feelings.

Jessica

[Cynthia Anne]

Hi Jessica! I know how you feel! It seems natral for the 'urges' to come and go for a while! Once you fully accept yourself you come to realize the 'urges' are really never going away! Good luck on finding a friend close to you! I think your post was nicely written and easy to understand what you are going thourgh! Don't forget your friends here and keep sharing your thought with us! Hopeing the best for you! Hugs!

[Krista1985]

Yeah the urge would come and go for me at first too,

I've been dressing for 3 years now, and for the first two years it went hot and cold at random. For a time I couldn't get enough dressing, and then for a while I'd doubt myself and wonder what the appeal was in the first place. Luckily I learned here not throw anything out because once begun, it's not very likely a person will walk away from dressing for good. So I let nature take it's course, and it led me further down the femme path than I ever imagined. But that's turned out to be a good thing. Like Cynthia said, it's likely a product of self acceptance and comfort.

[docrobbysherry]

Basically, we're mostly guys here, Jessica. And, u KNOW what they say about guys? That we're pretty uncomplicated. When we're hungry, we eat. Tired, we sleep. Drinking beer, need to pee. Etc., etc.

So, when we need to dress, WE DRESS! The rest of the time, WE DON'T! Lol!

[Allisa]

Hello,I too went in and out of my urges to dress when I was first starting to accept my feminine side,very long periods of time when life got in the way I would even purge costing me alot of money in clothing and the such.But eventually I accepted who I was and now enjoy who I am.It also sounds as though you may be more than a crossdresser,good luck in your future endeavers.

[Sallee]

Sherry that is good analogy. WE are guys no matter the clothes we might chose to wear. So lets not make to much od it and enjoy it all
Sallee

[suchacutie]

Jessica, it's a matter of finding balance. Yes, as said above we are "guys", but like you there are times when I'm not much of a guy. In fact, there are times that I know I'm a guy only when I undress! I've been able to move from one extreme to the other, and that has satisfied my inner selves. When I'm a guy, I really am. Tina, however, loses just about every guy instinct I have, surpresses them, or is just able to compartmentalize them and put them away. My gendered selves are so incredibly different. The other day my wife said, "Tina is just so sweet". I really doubt that "sweet" would be used to characterize my male self often. He's not an ogre, but he is a guy!

So, that's how I do it. There are issues in trying to maintain two distinct genders with only one body, but it seems to be working ok.

Best wishes for your "selves" :)

tina

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Jessica,

I would recommend finding a local TG support group as you'll be amazed just how many folks are out there just like you! Just Google "crossdressing support group" or "transgender support group" along with the city that you live in and see what comes up.

Crossdressers (just like everyone else in the world) come in many shapes and sizes and we all have different likes and dislikes about this wonderful thing that we enjoy. Everyone here knows that wearing women's clothes feels nice. They grip you in different places than men's clothes, the textures of silk and lace feel different on your body and that strange different feeling is nice, and we like it....and that's totally ok. :happy: The only problem we have is that we sometimes tend to feel guilty about enjoying this feeling because it's not exactly a mainstream activity and we feel self conscious about doing it, but I say just get out there and live the dream!

[kimdl93]

I think the best advice is, as Rachel suggests, to join a TG support group. The other thing would be to have patience. You don't need to rush your life. Just learn as much as you can about yourself, find a style that works for you and discover who you are over time.

AS for your SO, prepare to discuss this with her. Its gonna have to happen sooner or later.

[Barbara Ella]

The advice here is right on. Finding the balance in life is hard enough with only one person to satisfy. We have two people to work with, and both have very different needs, so there will always be some feelings that dont fit quite right for one person or the other. I am struggling to find my new self. and some days I feel like jumping in, and others not so much, but I accept her, know she is there, and want her to blossom. Find a support group. Post and read on this forum. The wealth of information that is contained in these words will amaze you, and may even help, I know it has helped me.

Babes

[Karren H]

Seems to me that the urge to transition to a woman shouldn't come and go... Like the urge to crossdress does... Sure wouldn't be good if after SRS and the urge fades....... But its not unprecedented. Support groups are great but I think you need to see professional help to see what's really going on. Imho.

[jillleanne]

Jessica, the best advice you can get is posted repeatedly before this post. Join a support group for TG persons. There are far too many to post and yes, URNA, Tri-Ess and like places can assist you. It would appear you have more than just 'self' issues you will need to attend to and the sooner the better really. I do not know what your status is concerning any medical plan that would cover professional therapy, that you might have, but definitely worth looking into.

[mishmam32]

Jessica, my advice is do what your heart tells you too. Personally, I've been CD'ing since around 6, I have gone years without dressing, but my urges have never left. This past summer I told my wife of my past, and for whatever reason my desire to CD was gone. I've even grown a beard, but like always the desire to dress will return, I've accepted it as a part of my being. No desire to transition to a woman, but that's me. Only you can know what you want, just take your time, experiment and let your heart lead you.