What excuses do you use when shopping for feminine apparrel?That's bras, lingere,etc.

[Beverley Sims]

Saying I am a transvestite conveys I have the plague.
CD.. I am weird.
I just want to dress up as a woman.. Must be a pedophile.
Gay? Naah! not gay.
Doing it for a bet? "Your'e the sixth one today.
Going to a party, got to look good. Yeah! Ok.
"I'm a female impersonator." This has brought the most positive response for me and I always get questioned about all sorts of tricks that are used to look convincing.
I made my debut on stage many years ago at a club that had a competition on a Sunday night for aspiring Impersonators. They helped dress you and you mimed to records. How I was introduced may be another thread.

[Dana7]

Most of the time I don't say anything and the SA/cashier does the same. In the past, sometimes I'd smile and say "she always takes off when it's time to pay..." and make a joke about my imaginary SO that took off and left me to pay. Other times I used to nervously say they were for my girl/lady/mom/etc. But besides being not that believable, I felt uncomfortable lying about buying feminine items for someone else that I was trying to make up. Until I thought of a different way of approaching it.

Now if I do say anything it's usually something like:

..."If she doesn't like these can I return them?"

They always assume the "she" is my wife/girlfriend/SO, and answer with their usual return policy. I just smile and say "Thank you", pay and leave--no problem.

That way I don't have to lie. But what I don't reveal is...the "she" is ME! :battingeyelashes:

[donnalee]

It's very simple; it's none of their business. You owe no one an explanation; frankly, just act as if there's nothing unusual going on, and they'll follow your lead. For the very few that don't, just hand them back the stuff (this is best done within earshot of their supervisor), and tell them you've changed your mind and that you prefer to take your business elsewhere. If the supervisor hears this, I guarantee they will intervene, as they want to show as much sales as they can and the employee will get chewed out (at a minimum). They need to leave their prejudices at home when they come to work.

[dominique]

None I just go buy. Simple.

[Jeanna]

I often get asked "Do you know her size?" and I reply "yes but more importantly, I know mine"

[Donniesr]

I've never had any problems with this. I've shopped at walmart, and even had to ask " where do I find thigh highs"...The young girl was very helpful, didn't ask and I didn't tell.. I did mention something about being a little embarassed with buying panties, bras and thigh highs,,and she said not to worry, theres nothing wrong with a man buying these items..I wouldn't worry about it, they just want the sale...

[IamToni]

I tend to go clothes shopping with my wife and despite there being two obviously different dress sizes the shop assistants never bat an eyelid. As my wife often makes a comment along the lines of "if it doesn't fit, you can always bring it back" within earshot of the assistant there is every chance that they know some of the items are for me! For some reason I get quite a buzz from this :)

[Beverley Sims]

I must intervene here, these were excuses i used some time ago although the female impersonator one gets used as it seems to encourage SAs to suggest more and be interactive and friendly. Some of the newer girls here may have some input. The rest of us have probably been there and done that.
There was no trouble with the guy at the cosmetics counter at Saks in San Francisco, he asked if I wanted some moisturizer on my face as it looked dry.
As the conversation degenerated I asked him if he was gay and he replied "Only since I was 6 dear". We were both watching the reactions of onlookers. No one was shocked or hurt by the interchange, but we both had a good time with our amused audience. Saks is not the place for theater. (Theatre for UK residents)

[Melody1985]

I shop online most of the time, (which has not been much since im still relatively new) but when I do go to a store, one of my strategies is to act completely ignorant about female products. For instance, when I bought my only dress so far, I was looking around in that department, when an SA came towards me. I said "excuse me, I have no clue about these sizes, can you help me out?" At this point, I try to explain "her" measurements by either saying "she's" maybe just a little bigger than you, or with my hands, I map out what I believe her size is. It worked!

But what I have done the most (twice) is take in something, which is supposedly "hers" and ask an SA to match it up to the correct sizes. It's also a good discreet way to get style advice I found in both experiences.

But it's probably true that most won't care anyway.. But for me and others I'm sure, it still feels awkward.. So much so that it's best to keep the truth to yourself. We're not all so fearless or confident. Especially in the beginning.

[Karren H]

if they want to know or if I feel the need to tell them up front I just say "I crossdress".. Has never been a problem..

[Cynthia Anne]

Excuses! No! If I did I would say I wear SIZE 38-C! Do you carry these panties in my size! Size 6! Hugs!

[Michaela42]

Depends on the SA. If they seem to be open-minded I will just say that the items are for me, and maybe add a nervous laugh. It breaks the ice and can usually lead to a nice conversation. If the SA seems uptight or unsure of how to react I ask if "She" can return the items. It will usually defuse a tense situation and allows everyone some chance to interact and escape. I really do not like to back people into a corner if I can avoid it; and I certianly do not want to see anyone make a scene or to loose their job. Besides, being flexible never hurt anyone.

[Renee W]

Don't care anymore, if I want something I buy it. My money is good whether I am buying dog food or a bra. It's not their business what type of dog I have or how many, so why should it be their business who I'm buying a bra for?

[Launa]

I did the excuse thing for years, it works after all who's going to challenge it? Now a days I'm saying F-it, as long as I don't know the person then I come right out and say they're for me. It gets easier after the first time and sets a fast tone for the rest of the conversation

[gender_blender]

You shouldn't need to justify spending on anything to anyone, but if asked, I say "It's for me." However, I look very feminine all the time, so my response is never surprising.

[LeaP]

I've never had to say anything, but then, I've had my wife's assistance with sizing. The return question can be genericized: "Can this be returned?" - something I always ask when buying sale and clearance merchandise.

Lea

[jsmith9213]

Usually, I'll ask, "Can she return them if they don't fit?" That works well, but recently I found a great merrywidow that I had to have. I took it to the counter and the sales girl looked at me (6-2 & 260), and said that she thought I'd look cute in it. I replied, "Well, I was thinking about adding fishnets and some nice heels" which made her giggle and she thought that would be a good idea.

[Tina B.]

I guess I just don't shop in nice enough stores. I never get asked things like that, seldom get asked if I need help, I browse, find and buy what I want, and when I get to the checkout we never talk about what I'm buying, other than price checks, why should they care who it's for, and I see no reason to discuss my personal life with strangers.
Tina B.

[brenda b smith]

well i say wifes birthday. christmas is the best excuse date nite with wife and anniversary oh i still use all the lies I evan put a b.day card in my basket and goes on top when cashing out at register . good thing i have friends like you i dont have to lie to

[kimdl93]

I don't make any excuses - and other people's opnion of me is, as a wise person said, none of my business.

[SallyS]

I've got the best excuse this time of year 'it's a present for the wife' or 'I have 3 girls at home', both true.

So I'm half buying for them and half buying for me. I don't feel so self conscious about it then:)

Any other time, then thank god for on-line shopping! I get embarrassed when I'm with my wife in the ladies department, even if it's NOT for me!

[Stephenie S]

For goodness sake, guys! You don't need excuses to spend money. Jeesh!

You have a perfect right to buy anything you want at any time. No one cares anyway.

Remember, SA (or anyone else who works with the public) have seen it all and heard all your silly excuses a hundred times already. They don't care. They WANT your business and your money.

Making up silly excuses only exposes your own guilt and shame to people who have heard it all already.

S

[Kaz]

I've never said anything, but I have always bought clothes for my wife anyway - presents usually, but also on request... where she knows what she wants. I am usually pretty cool about it. Sometimes the SAs emphasise the size, but that is because many men buying for SOs get the size wrong! I don't think I have ever said who anything was for!

[Anne2345]

For goodness sake, guys! You don't need excuses to spend money. Jeesh!

You have a perfect right to buy anything you want at any time. No one cares anyway.

Remember, SA (or anyone else who works with the public) have seen it all and heard all your silly excuses a hundred times already. They don't care. They WANT your business and your money.

Making up silly excuses only exposes your own guilt and shame to people who have heard it all already.

S

Exactly! The first several times I shopped for myself, it was quite difficult. It gets much, much easier with experience. Moreover, not that it matters anyways (money is money, after all), you may be surprised how much SAs appreciate not being so obviously lied to. ;)

[MsCheriMarie]

You are giving them cash - they should not care and if they do ask say "my strap broke on mine and this is my favorite!"

[JenniferR771]

First year it was for Halloween, then the"male model charity fashion show", then wife's birthday(no holiday needed), daughter's birthday for the huge makeup kit. But then I said, " This is SO embarrassing; I am a crossdresser and I need to find the clerk with the best fashion sense to help me." The girl up front directed me to Peggy. She was so nice I was back almost every month.

[Karren H]

Actually if you wait and do all your yearly lingerie buying the week before Valentines day then you don't need to give excuses! All the SA will go "awwwww.... He's buying something sexy for his SO. That so sweet!!". Lol.

[brenda b smith]

I like that one good job ; ) stephenie s

[Meg East]

I just buy the stuff. The sales person's job is to sell it. Once a clerk made a comment about me buying a skirt and all I needed to do was to stare at her while I waited for my creditcard and package. Never said a word which made it so awkward for her.

[kelseymichellelee]

my policy is not to say anything and let them assume whatever, i'll rarely if ever see them again

[Brenda Freeman]

I used to fear shopping! I think as I get older I just do not care what they think but its surprising How nice many SA's are and helpful if you tell them! When I am shopping if asked about size or help I usually refer to she/her when talking about size which is me! I usually get the help I need if I want it. Depending on the shop I might tell them its for me but I do not talk about why or what I am! I agree with everyone its your money! Your story!

[Veronica27]

The strange thing is that when I am actually buying something intimate for my wife, I never have any feelings of embarrassment. I just wish I was better at maintaining that attitude when I know I am buying for me. I have had both good and bad experiences with sales clerks. One time I was buying a sun dress at a Kmart, and the clerk at the checkout counter just smiled and said, "I love that type of neckline". I just returned her smile and agreed. There was a lineup of customers behind me who all just stared off blankly. Another time, I saw an ad for some shoes on sale at Sears, and decided to buy a pair. As my size was not on the rack, I had to ask for assistance to see if there were any in stock. I pretended I was just picking up a pair for my wife who had seen the ad, but the sales clerk, a middle aged stern looking sort, acted as though I was robbing the joint. She insisted that my wife should come in to try them on, despite my telling her that my wife was unable to go in that day and had asked me to pick up a pair. I don't think she bought my story, but I wanted the shoes and didn't want to give her the satisfaction of changing my reason, as I don't think she was very obliging toward crossdressers. She finally gave in and rang them up for me. That was many years ago. Some years later, I purchased a pair of shoes at a specialty shop that sold fetish wear. I told the clerk I was a crossdresser, and she told me that she was not aware of selling anything to a crossdresser before, as their business was all for the fetish community. She was quite interested in the fact that I crossdressed and wanted to know more about it, I presumed because she felt that they could expand their sales by consciously appealing to the CD community.

It is not only buying clothing that can create awkward moments. Back when the Bionic Woman was all the rage among young girls, there was a bionic woman doll, much like a Barbie doll, that my daughter wanted for Christmas. The task of buying one fell on me, so I headed to the Toy Department of what was then Simpson's in Toronto. I needed help in finding one, as they were tucked away in an odd corner of the store. After the clerk, a youngish woman, had rung up my purchase, she handed me the doll, and in front of a crowd of shoppers waiting in line said sarcasticly "There you go, have fun". I detected a few smirks on the faces of the other shoppers, but decided to take the high road and just walked away.

Veronica

[S. Lisa Smith]

if they want to know or if I feel the need to tell them up front I just say "I crossdress".. Has never been a problem..

That's exactly what I do.

[luuv2dress]

I really dont use excuses i just go with the conversation flow. Plus now i know my sizes for certain things so i just ask for it and go on my way

[Barbara Ella]

When buying shoes at Payless I have been able to say they are for me when asked for help. Wife doesnt want me saying that, at least when buying in town. Have not had to explain when buying pants and bras. had to return pants once, and no question asked. Am going shopping tomorrow with wife along to get some nice blouses that will fit properly (mens vs womens fitting room dilemma, not sure if i want to push that one yet), so that cover will be nice to have. Dont ask, dont tell, but if asked, I want to tell.

Babes

[pernille d]

I fall into the just buy category . But i remember in the early days I was nervous but now I don't care I know my size and normally what I want . "excuses " are ok. But as others say they want to make as sale and to be honest you don't know them so the problem is only in the buyers head . If people ask I just tell as in a way it's none of there business if it's for me .

I do remember though aline i used " my wife is about the same size as me but has a b or c cup "

[Amanda Ellis]

You definitely don't need an excuse. I used to feel I had to pretend I was buying for a girlfriend, sometimes SAs would ask if I wanted a giftbox/receipt, while others just couldn't be bothered to keep up the pretense. A few SAs preempted me by asking, "anything else for YOU today?" and one even advised me that there was a sale on ladies shoes that day (she was being friendly, not sarcastic).
Despite this I was always embarrassed and would mumble a thanks before shuffling off with my head down. Finally, somewhat recently, I decided I would stop with all the ridiculous pretense that wasn't fooling anyone. I even asked to try on certain items of lingerie before purchasing and was cheerfully ushered into the changing room. On another trip to the mall recently I popped into a shoe store that specializes in very impractical shoes (everything was 50% off and I always liked their shoes) . A young pretty SA quickly bounced over to me and cheerfully asked, "so I guess you're shopping for yourself?" I shrugged and said I was. She was very interested in cross dressing, or seemed to be, and I bought a pair of 4inch black pumps.

[MelodyS.]

When I first started shopping I used all the usual excuses. The more I shopped the more I noticed I was giving excuses without being asked anything. I don't even say anything now, I just get what I want, pay for it and leave. If I am asked if I could use any help, I simply state that I am fine or just browsing. they just smile and offer assistance if I need it and walk away,\.

[Chari]

In the beginning of my CD adventure, I would always use some silly excuse, like
"are these clothes true to size, do you think this color goes good with my skin tone, or I've been invited to a "switch party" and need something feminine to wear". Now, enjoying my feminine side and IMO, look the part without question, I buy whatever I need where ever! A few stores are more accepting and respectful than others, but it appears that many are coming on board in these tight economic times with our commnity to make more sales.

[Gillian Gigs]

So, who needs a reason, or excuse. I have never had any sales clerk ask me who the lingerie was for. I have been asked what size am I looking for, to which I responded, about my size. Most clerks are only interested in how you are going to pay for it. Most people don't care what you are doing, as long as you are not infringing on them.

[jillleanne]

I usually ask if she thinks it would look nice on her ( the s/a ). If she says no, I say, " Good, I'll take it".

[Miranda-E]

no need to say anything.
I own zero, zip, nada, mens clothes.
I don't care if the checker really thinks that the odd 12 pack of socks or mens dress shirt in the cart is really secretly mine.

If you go into a store and behave yourself, don't tazer anyone, don't stuff an xbox under your coat, don't get into a $1.00 towel riot, do pick out your stuff even if it means asking questions, do pay for your stuff, "the TS/TG/CD that came in today or the man buying women's clothes" won't even be on the top-10 weird memorable things that happened to them in retail today.

[darci.c]

Well, I've never needed an excuse to go shopping, since no sales lady ever played the role of gatekeeper between me and what I want.

But, if she asks who it's for I just say "me, sweetheart. got it in a size ___?"

[vikki2020]

Yeah, just pay the lady, no excuses needed. But, why may I ask would you associate dressing as a woman with being a pedophile? That's just wrong.

[Anna Lorree]

Umm, I don't anymore. I learned some time ago that most sales people really don't care. In larger metro areas in my state, I think CD/TS shoppers are common enough that they see them often, anyway. They usually ask if I am finding everything or if I need any help. I say I am fine, and just do my shopping. I still get a little nervous every now and then, but that is decreasing with experience. Most of my experience has been that they either just wanted the sale, didn't care, or got a little smirk out of the exchange.

Anna

[Lorileah]

I use the same excuse when I buy men's clothing. "I want that." (pretty much the same for anything I buy)

[DanaR]

This morning my wife and I were out shopping. Usually I'll walk around looking in the store and sometimes engage the SA in a conversation about something that I'm looking for, today was no different. We were looking for a top for me to wear tomorrow night, to a party. I was looking for something cute and dressy. I was going to meet my wife in this store, and when I got there she wasn't around. So I started talking to one of the SA's for some direction where their dressy tops were located. She was cool and seemed to be interested in helping me. A little while later my wife came over to where we were at, and the SA asked her if there was something that she could to help her. My wife said that she was with me. Imagine the thoughts of the SA, she thought that was shopping for me. :D The look on her face was great, sometimes I'll tell them that it is for me, other times I don't. Priceless! They didn't have a top that I was interested in, but we did find one at another store.

[gabimartini]

None, not anymore. But I used to, and pretending I had a 6'2" SO was my most frequent one... LOL.

[Cheryl T]

I don't use any excuse...I just find what I want, take it to the register and swipe my credit card.
No one in the last 7 years has ever asked why I'm buying lingerie or any other garments.

Besides, it's none of their business.

[Foxglove]

It is not only buying clothing that can create awkward moments. Back when the Bionic Woman was all the rage among young girls, there was a bionic woman doll, much like a Barbie doll, that my daughter wanted for Christmas. The task of buying one fell on me, so I headed to the Toy Department of what was then Simpson's in Toronto. I needed help in finding one, as they were tucked away in an odd corner of the store. After the clerk, a youngish woman, had rung up my purchase, she handed me the doll, and in front of a crowd of shoppers waiting in line said sarcasticly "There you go, have fun". I detected a few smirks on the faces of the other shoppers, but decided to take the high road and just walked away.


I think that young lady deserved a stern reprimand from the management. I hope she gets what she deserves in life.

[suchacutie]

Oddly enough, I was hit with this issue the very first time I was shopping (this was for shoes in Payless). I was shopping with my wife and it never occurred to me that I would end up being alone, but my wife left me to pick out whatever I wanted (such a sweetie!) and went around to another aisle to look at her sizes. I was the only one in the aisle, walking in a set of 4.5 in. clogs I was trying on, and an SA shows up out of no where and immediately asks if they are for me! Heck, I'm wearing them and walking around in them so who might they be for? Well, she was incredibly helpful and wanted me to know that if I bought a second pair they were half off. Since this was so positive it's never occurred to me to be shy with an SA who arrives to help. Heck, if she is unhappy that I'm buying for me she can just leave me alone!

But then there is another one I never expected. I was in a downtown San Francisco Payless looking for some super high heels (there weren't any) but as I'm looking a youngish guy stands next to me for a minute, and clearly nervous, turns to me and asks, "are you buying shoes for yourself"? That started a conversation where he said he was playing the part of a woman in a play and needed shoes but didn't know what to look for of what size to buy (I just smiled at him when he knew nothing about the role he was playing). Anyway, I helped him out and he found shoes he wanted. I never did find heels in SF!

Basically, who the clothes or shoes are for has nothing to do with one's ability to buy them. I look forward to SAs who can't handle that. So far none of them have given me any fun!


tina

[Kristy_K]

I used to be so scare when I went shopping. Wondering what they will think or say about me buying woman items. I have learn that the SA are very happy to help you find what you need. Not only that it is there job to. What I laugh at is how some of the customers seem to clear the area where I am shopping.

[Keely]

Excuses! We don't need no stinking excuses.

Seriously, it's none of their business who/why I'm buying something.
I've never had anyone even ask.

I bought a pair of heels at Kohl's and at the checkout the SA said "Those are really cute" I just smiled and said "yes they are"

[DanaR]

Actually if you wait and do all your yearly lingerie buying the week before Valentines day then you don't need to give excuses! All the SA will go "awwwww.... He's buying something sexy for his SO. That so sweet!!". Lol.
You could take this one a little bit farther. Go anytime of the year and say you were looking early for Valentines day, because usually when you remember, most of the good stuff is gone.

[Erica Marie]

Dont act nervous and no one will think the different. If some one would ask you can be honest and tell them its for you and go on your way, if you are nervous you can always use the old fallback excuse and say its a b-day for you gf or sister. Ive shooped at thrift stores and so far all the cashiers have been very friendly and havent questioned me.

[Beverley Sims]

Ok! still a lot of good replies, I agree you don't need excuses once you get a little street wise. I went into Ross today and bought myself a "Glitz" watch with a nice red band for $4.50. The girl suggested I might like a mens wristwatch. My reply, "I'm not paying 10 bucks for a watch and I need one for a ladies wrist, the 4 dollar job looks just right for me".
As I showed her my small wrist. "And I like the cute red band as well." Ross is becoming lots of fun.
BUT! can you see someone young and new at "it" having that sort of interaction with a sales assistant.
At least I was able to buy a 36 A bra. that was 36.
Does the UK. have an equivqlent to Ross. Last couple of times I was over there they had great water filled and gel bras on sale.
Looking forward to that.
So you timid ones and relative newcomers, how do you handle this terrorising scenario?

[elliemoss]

Ive always found if you act normal they never ask or suspect anything, ive gone shopping countless times and even now sometimes I feel a bit daft standing in line with a bunch of women and girls but once I get to the cashier I kinda act disinterested in the items ya know. Anyway in all honesty it is none of their business, there could be a number of reasons why youre buying womens garments, youre probably never going to see them again anyway.

[Tara Bordeaux]

I havn't had much of a problem the few times I've been out shopping. I've shopped in male drab and fully dressed for female clothing and shoes.
I actually get less looks and questions shopping dressed. One time in male garb I've been questioned by a female checkout person. I looked right at her
and told her that I was just getting into crossdressing a little heavier and was adding to my wardrobe. "Oh, she said. Well that sounds like fun." I replied, "it is!"
"And I'm going out for the first time tomorrow night with a couple other CD friends". Well it actually turned into a conversation about wigs and where the best place in the local area to get them,
she was quite nice and receptive to me once I told her flat out exactly what the deal was without skirting the issue or trying to come up with stories.
One place I shop at I get greeted warmly at the door, go about my business, try some stuff on, check out, and
no other questions asked. I've done returns there of shoes and dresses, nobody really cares, either that or I just don't pay attention. If somebody ever got aggressive questioning me I'd probably come off
with something like "what business is it of yours?" which I'm sure at that point they'd just shut up and do their job.

[Jessica Who]

Shhhh... don't tell anyone, but I'm on a top-secret mission for the US government. I am a top-level spy with level 55 clearance. I am in need of a women's outfit so that I can infiltrate a terrorist ring. I prefer that my clothes by sultry, by the way.

[Debglam]

The funny thing is that now that I don't care I haven't been questioned about who my purchases are for. I was in a MAC store buying eye shadow and could not convince the MA that it was for me!

[MarcyHunter]

Gone cottin choppin.

[k lynn]

I have learned honesty is the best so if asked I say its for me

[Girl]

It's pretty obvious that the clothes are for me because I usually shop dressed as my true self - a woman. Even when I'm in male clothes, I almost always ask to try the clothes on before buying. The store assistants are always friendly and helpful.

[jennylogan]

I just ask for a gift receipt. Plain and simple.

[Miss Polly]

I don't think I've ever used an excuse when shopping for feminine apparel. That's not to say I don't feel nervous (though I feel less so these days) but things will get complicated if I start making stuff up. I think it makes it easier for everyone if you tell it how it is.

[Sharon B.]

I used to make excuses but now if they ask about her size I just tell them my size and go from there, I'll even ask if I can try it on. Depending on when I am shopping I will usually have on bra, pantyhose with nail polish on my toenails and sometime will have on basic makeup.

[Stephanie47]

Before eBay and Internet sales I found it easy to buy at Christmas and Valentine's Day for unmentionables. Being apprehensive about buying in a size that looked as if I were buying for myself, I would carry "her list" of sizes. I always asked for a gift box, which seemed to immediately convey a message it was for my wife.

It was much easier years ago to buy unmentionables because 'ensembles' of color coordinated bra, panty and slip were routinely sold. I also buy hosiery in bulk. If I'm going to stand in line with a pair of black thigh high stockings, I may as well stand with five or six packages. Of course shopping in a variety store such as Wal-Mart, where you can add 'guy' stuff and household items (groceries, etc) to the cart makes it easier.

But now with the cookie cutter stores all over the malls, I just make sure I shop at a store outside my neighborhood. That is strictly to not arouse the busy body nosy neighbors who may become questionable. I would not want a neighbor to ask my wife how she liked that pretty black dress her husband was buying.

[Beth Mays]

Don't care anymore, if I want something I buy it. My money is good whether I am buying dog food or a bra. It's not their business what type of dog I have or how many, so why should it be their business who I'm buying a bra for?

ROCK ON!
I went on my very first real shopping trip last weekend it was a factory outlet mall where shoe stores carry sizes that retail may not and the clothing stores have SOOOO much to look at . I visit every store that sells anything I may like to want to try. All the SA's were very, very nice. I was dressed in Full On Guy mode includeing sport coat and actualy had a couple of the SA's flirt, the only female item i had on was knee high black trouser hose.
As I look exclusively at womens clothing and had more than a few SA's ask if I needed help, i always ask questions and never reply "just looking" some would ask "shopping for the Misses"? I would reply No it's for me, one ask do you know your size? ... and with a great smile I say Yes I sure do!
I visit one store later in the day that had an awsome outfit i wanted to try on, the SA ask (yes she ask) would you like to try it on? ... Long story short.. I went in the dressing room to try it on (not fit) and the SA brought me about 6 more things to try on. she was awsome with the help and even zip me a couple times.
I guess my point is:
Be yourself, who gives a flip what or why you buy anything, Dog Food to bra and pannty set! i work hard for my money, I should and will spend it on any damn thing I so desire!

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I don't make any excuses up, only rarely have I been asked but when asked I always say these are for me. They always fit because I always try them on before I buy them, except of course under things which I know my size by now thank you. I used to be worried but nobody cares what you are buying, they only care that you have the money to pay for it.

[Allisa]

Funny this thread came up now,I just went out to buy some unmentionables just yesterday afternoon.I go to lingere shops,not mega stores,so the atmosphere there is a lot more intimate and men in the store to buy may be less common but surely not rare as some SA's have commented on after they learn of my CDing.I found that straight,honest replies to any questions is the best policy.I let go of the shame stigma a long time ago,and I'm there to buy not date.The funny thing is I have never gone shopping en femme and almost always have a 5 o clock shadow or worse and dressed far from femme (at least on the surface).On a lighter note knowing your size,in general,always helps but sometimes a little help in sizing from an SA is always appreciated when buying more intimate apparel.I also get requests to come back "possibly dressed so I can see how you look".Allways thought about it but not to date as of yet.What they say when I leave in my Ford F-250, with a diamond plate tool box and mud flaps,I know not,nor do I care.Also shopping on-line avoids any social interaction and is quite convenient for more conventional clothing,it just takes a little savy to navigate,but shopping is fun after all.WOW long winded there,well my wash is done gotta go.Bye-Bye.

[sarahcsc]

I... I... am hopeless when it comes to shopping publicly. Honest to God, I would avoid shopping publicly if I could. I just get blushed, hot, palpitations. Even the SA could tell that I'm blushing and said "relax boy, your girlfriend/sister/mother would definitely love you for this." (except that I'm not buying it for them! >_<)

There were a couple times I came out clean and told the SA that I am a crossdresser and would she mind if I used the changing room. I did this NOT at a department store, but a XXX store where they sell sultry lingerie too. But I swear to God, one of the female customers gave me a look when I walked out of the changing room was so funny, I didn't know whether to laugh or to run away and hide. I managed to buy something from the store though... :P

In short, I do most of my shopping ONLINE. No contact! I waste a lot of money and time... but my heart could use a break. Otherwise I'm gonna die early from a heart attack or something.

[connie23]

Hi,
Usually, the SA doesn't say anything but... last week I was at Burlington Coat Factory and bought two bras. The SA said, those are really cute, where did you find them so I told her. Then she said, you have really good taste, are they for you. I was shocked and flattered so I said yes. She just smiled and said, "you go girl". Maybe it was because the bras were 38B. Anyway, it was a really great experience.
Hugs,
Connie

[Joann Smith]

Excuses ?...have yall took a look at the prices of bras and panties ...nevermind who they for... why they cost so much

[natalie james]

I usually find a GG to help me for that stuff, along with cosmetics. perfumes and jewelry
I just go buy.

[Jodi]

Last weekend, I was on a serious shopping day at Woodbury Commons outlet mall in NY. I walked into the Guiseppe Zanotti store to look at shoes. I had never shopped in this store before. I was shopping in drab.


While I was looking, the SA came over and asked if she could help, I said I was looking for a pair of nude peeptoe heels. She asked what size and I responded a size 41. She showed me a nice pair. I told her that I'm a crossdresser and the shoes were for me. She said, "that is really cool". Let's see how they fit.

I tried them on and walked around the store. She complimented me on how well I could do in 4" heels.

She gained a customer in that store for future purchases.

No excuses are needed. Just go in, try on and buy.

Jodi

[Josie M]

I usually just make the purchase. It's very rare that I have to give a reason. If I do, I say they are for me....

[Daphne Renee]

I dont use any excuses.. I just buy what I want. I dont buy often.. (very tight budget).. however when I do I dont believe I owe a salesperson an explanation.

[Elana]

now a days i don't even say anything, and nearly all cashiers dont say anything either, i just do small talk at most. When starting out buying a long time ago i use to say they were for my g/f.. but i felt bad saying it and found out eventually most cashiers dont care.. the only time i was asked was shopping at a goodwill one day and sales lady looked at me and said is this for you in tagalog. i understand the language so it threw me off,lol. i just shrugged my shoulders and said yes.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

never ever used an excuse since i started lingerie shopping at 23. always been confident and i've never had any worries. i lingerie shop all the time so its normal routine. never get weird looks either.

[lingerieLiz]

Actually I've told SAs it was for me and they didn't believe me. I told one in a major department store I was shopping for a bra for me. She kept asking what size my wife wore. Last year I was in an outlet mall lingerie shop wearing a bra under a light weight top and the three SAs kept saying my wife should come in to by a bra because the sizing had to be right.

[cassandra54]

i go shopping a lot with my SO, but we are not always together in the same part of the store. other times i go by myself. i've only been asked once if i wanted a gift receipt and i said sure. it's no problem for me. i've always bought clothes for the women in my life, so buying them for me was no big deal.

i look at it this way. if someone sees me buying women's clothes and wants to make something out of it, just try proving for whom i am buying these things for. i figure it's a free country and people can buy whatever the want.

[rachel_rachel]

I frequent a certain shop quite a bit and on my last visit there the manager remembered me and asked if the lingerie that i bought on my last visit fitted my wife well.
Actaully that time i was there she asked me that if i got asked if it was for me much? I replied yes i do on occasions and i even say yes to stir them up!! She was cool with it and said guys ask to try things on a regular basis..

I hope i can get up the courage one day.

[KimberlyS]

No excuse needed. You are just shopping for yourself. Period. Shop and enjoy.

[satinchrissy]

Being honest comes with time and confidence. If it comes up now I tell them its for me. I'm not ashamed and if they can't handle it they don't need my business.

[vivianann]

Just be honest, honesty goes along ways. When I use to shop for feminine clothes while dressed as a male I always told the sa's the truth. and they seemed to appreciat my honesty. Now that I am out of the closet about my crossdressing, I always dress enfemme when I go shopping, the sa's seem to treat me very well, plus I am much more comfortable when shopping enfemme.

[Foxglove]

There have been a few occasions when I've bought stuff for myself--dresses, blouses, skirts and shoes. Nothing was ever said to me. I think they assumed I was buying for my SO. There was one time that I bought a bra and pair of panties and the young SA gave me a bit of an odd look. But she didn't say anything, and neither did I. When I was young, I could get up the courage. For some reason, it seems harder now.

If I had to give an excuse, I'd probably just say, "I can't help it. And furthermore, I enjoy it."

[Mollyanne]

I have been asked that very question on a few occasions and have ALWAYS answered the same way-----" THEY ARE FOR ME", sometimes the SA just blushes, sometimes they just smile and sometimes they laugh a little and say"I hope it fits"

Molly

[angpai30]

I use to do the whole excuse thing, but I decided its better to tell the truth. I still wear my wedding ring because it holds sentimental value for me . So when I walk into a store I'm asked so what is her size? I say "well, I don't know, were divorced and my ring is sentimental" and the items are really for me. that always sparks a good conversation. I went back to lane bryant last night and the sa kept telling me that I should buy this and that because I would look cute in them, but everything at lane bryant is to big for me now. Oh well, time to move on to smaller cuter skirts. The sa smiled at that and sold me some boots. The key to shopping en femme is not the excuse, but how you act and handle your self while in the store. While I was there the sa asked me if dress matched my shoes because she was excited for me that I got to wear them last week and wanted me to look my best. There was a guy in there that practically dropped the stuff in his hand and ran out the door when I said, "yes they matched!! " this sa has told me several times thank you for not using an excuse because it makes it harder to help, but it also relieves tension.

[Contessa]

Here to date I have had no problems shopping. I haven't shopped en femme yet, I like saying that its French. I will go pretty soon though, en femme I mean. I usually have moved past everything so if some comments come up that might be disturbing I don't pay any attention either I am already out the door with my thinking. Since I already have my purse and am standing there with a female wallet in my hand waiting to hand over the money or receive my change. They can tell it is for me. My wife doesn't go with me ever. I have to make all my advances by myself. So since I am by myself as I have no other friends that CD around that I know or would go with me. I go it alone. I would believe people should know about CDing by now so don't worry. There is nothing wrong with me that can't be fixed by what is wrong with them. Some body else said some like that about some thing else. President Clinton said it "There is nothing wrong with America that can't be fixed by what is right with America"

People are most times good and a smile is always reasonable from and for anyone. Some people aren't good but there aren't as many of those as there are good ones. Be good to people and they will usually be good to you. Most of the time, buy things it is good CD are around.

Tess

[Piora]

Actually if you wait and do all your yearly lingerie buying the week before Valentines day then you don't need to give excuses! All the SA will go "awwwww.... He's buying something sexy for his SO. That so sweet!!". Lol.

I don't have....and never had....any problem with buying items from a lingerie shop, or anywhere I would be shopping for intimates. I simply pretend that they're for a 'wife' or 'girlfriend'. I know, it's sad but it's how I deal with it.

But that's the easy part, because men do buy stuff like that for their SOs.....but they don't buy pantyhose, makeup and 'regular' bras and panties (well some might I guess) because as someone mentioned, a lot of places like department stores think that the 'SOs' should come in to get fitted for a bra.


Yeah, just pay the lady, no excuses needed. But, why may I ask would you associate dressing as a woman with being a pedophile? That's just wrong.

Yeah, but people do. Most people think that there's some sinister reason why a man would dress as a woman. Or, that they're gay. They're pedophiles. They're perverts. They're sick people who need help. I don't shop dressed, as I'm closeted - but that's what people think of us out there.


I... I... am hopeless when it comes to shopping publicly. Honest to God, I would avoid shopping publicly if I could. I just get blushed, hot, palpitations. Even the SA could tell that I'm blushing and said "relax boy, your girlfriend/sister/mother would definitely love you for this." (except that I'm not buying it for them! >_<)

I have tried shopping for makeup a few times. I usually end up quickly grabbing something off the shelf, and don't check it properly, so sometimes I get a colour I didn't want, or something like that. But I don't have any trouble going to pay for this stuff. It's shopping for it....looking at, and handling the items, is when I feel that there's a thousand disapproving eyes on me. I know that there isn't, but it's a feeling I simply can't shake, even although I have tried. So, I prefer shopping online for everything. It's far easier, and I have been extremely lucky with sizes.


In short, I do most of my shopping ONLINE. No contact! I waste a lot of money and time... but my heart could use a break. Otherwise I'm gonna die early from a heart attack or something.

Well, I can't say that I have wasted money....perhaps a little time. But I hear you on the heart thing!


I usually find a GG to help me for that stuff, along with cosmetics. perfumes and jewelry
I just go buy.

I shopped for women's clothing with my daughter, and I was picking out a skirt, top, a bra and a camisole - and I found it was way easier with her there. Unfortunately, she's moved away and I don't have anyone else that I can do that with. I think it's much easier for those of us with sympathetic SOs who'll shop with us.

[KandisTX]

No excuse whatsoever, I simply find what I want and buy it. It's none of their business who I am buying the items for anyway. Besides, the ONLY thing that SA is concerned with is making a sale, especially if you are in some boutiques where they are paid strictly by commission. Just buy what you want and don't worry about the SA's. They certainly aren't going to worry about you after you leave. :)

[Lorna]

For those who, for whatever reason, find it hard to tell the truth when shopping, the various explanations offered above are all more-or-less workable provided that the buyer is a reasonably good actor and that the seller is not looking for a confrontation. That's why people like me tend to do a certain amount of observation and research before buying.

I have never felt in the least embarrassed to buy skirts, dresses, slips, stockings and tights because I have always been happy to buy those items for my girlfriends/wife as presents. Fortunately, though I don't have a womanly figure, I am not all that big, so I can find sizes to fit me quite easily.

The problems come when buying those items that a man would not normally buy for his wife or girlfriend without her being there. Shoes, for example. I have found it possible to buy shoes, bras, panties, etc. in large supermarkets where, as others have said, they can be taken to the checkout amongst other items and nobody cares. Self-service checkouts are also often available - but make sure you know how to work them and that none of our items needs to have a security tag removed so that you will not have to get assistance. If, like me, you also need (or just enjoy wearing) more substantial foundation garments such as long-line bras and firm, open girdles, it has become almost impossible to buy such things other than on-line or from specialist shops. For those things, you will need to have a very good story ("my mother's in a nursing home and needs a new bra") and probably a written note with some precise details to hand to the sales person. I once bought a very firm, boned hook-side Twilfit girdle from a small lingerie shop in Somerset using that technique.

Yes, I know we should just be brave and honest....but it's not easy for everyone.

[Cary]

I just get what I want and leave.

[CDPheobe]

My SO shops with me. Other than that if I shop alone, I just pick and buy. Any questions that arise from a SA, I just either say it's for me, my SO or it's a gift for a friend. I have on one occasion, buying my shoes been told by the SA that it was okay if they were for me. The place happened to be a CD friendly place shoe store in Hollywood CA. I was a bit scared but gave in and she made me feel really relaxed. The next time the SA recognized me and saw that my SO was with me. She knew who the shoes were for. When I shop in the downtown Los Angeles fashion district, I just see what I like and buy it. No questions asked by the SA at all.

[Melissa.Lynn88]

My girlfriend goes shopping with me. At first I would look through stuff with her and let her know what I liked and then she grab it and take it to the register. I'm starting to get more comfortable now and will pick up things on my own and take it to the register myself. It still makes it easy for me though because since she is there people just assume whatever I have I am buying for her.

[jennigrace]

No excuses. I just go in and buy what I want.

[ArleneRaquel]

Back in ancient days I told the SA that I was buying clothes for my wife, nowadays if I buy in store I'm enfemme and I dont not care what the SA thinks. All have been friendy thus far. Most of my shopping for girly stuff is done online.

[Janet Bern]

Excuses? NONE.. I simply say "It's for me" After that all is cool

[alwayshave]

I have never been asked by an SA if I can be helped, maybe its just the area I live in, the stores are some what understaffed. I have been asked at the cash register whether I want a gift box and the answer is always no.

[MichelleP]

Never had a problem but if asked, I tell them the truth - they're for me. Most of the time though, I've already tried the item(s) on and they already get the idea that the clothing or shoes or lingerie is for me.

[Vanessa5]

I have never used an excuse to buy things. I have been kinda shy and awkward about it but in the end and once it was all over I always went back. Especially to places that treat me well. Any place (the thrift store where I was given a hard time about buying a dress) that does not will not get my business. I do wish I had a GG friend to teach me make-up and give advice on fasion.

[Tammy V]

I don't think its nessesary to use an excuse, but if I happen to be shopping in male mode and the clerk will say something like "she will love this", I do not correct her but the truth is, she will. Its just not the same she they are thinking.

[pantynhoseman]

I don't use any excuse, i just go and buy what I want. If I'm not sure if I'm getting the right size. I just ask. Sometimes I get some strange looks, but most are pleased to help you, oh and I always keep the receipt for easy returns.

[StevieTV]

For goodness sake, guys! You don't need excuses to spend money. Jeesh!

You have a perfect right to buy anything you want at any time. No one cares anyway.

Remember, SA (or anyone else who works with the public) have seen it all and heard all your silly excuses a hundred times already. They don't care. They WANT your business and your money.

Making up silly excuses only exposes your own guilt and shame to people who have heard it all already.

S

Exactly. I don't make excuses. Hey if they don't want my money, someone else will. Actually, if I ever get comments, I think I'll ask for the manager and raise a ruskuss, just for my own enjoyment.

[Kate17]

Have you ever heard the story about the mouse in a rattlesnake cage ? At first they are terrified and hide in the corner, even though there is no escape. But, after a while they say to h... with it and start running into the snakes nose. That is where I am at - please, someone ask me if this dress is for me !! No body does anymore, maybe it's the earrings !

[Annaliese2010]

No disrespect but how bout...oh gosh IDK...lessee...um maybe remain aloof, don't engage or even recognize the 'reality' of sum dum CLERK? Lmao.... You got money? You're buying merchandise? Yo...that's a wrap. Finis!

Yes I'm being a bit facetious but puhlease....

Look! Ya Life's a bitch no matter How ya cut it...then u die. NObody gets outta here alive. So just enjoy yourself in the meantime. WHO tha fck Cares what anyone else thinks. Lololololol.....

[Maxi]

Only once has a cashier ever said anything about what I was buying. I was at a Walmart buying a white corset. The checker told me with a smile I could not buy that. I asked why? Is it not my color? She just laughed and completed the sale. Then told me to have a nice day.

[ashes]

I just treat it the same as if i were buying grocerys. No one has ever asked.

[Janine cd]

I never say anything unless the purchase is made in a very intimate womans shop. Then I might say that I'm buying the intimate items for my daughter.

[sissystephanie]

I have been buying feminine apparel for myself for well over 60 years. I used to use all kinds of excuses to do the buying in the early years, but my late wife told me to just buy for myself and not to worry about it. I took her advice back in the mid 50's and have followed it ever since. I just tell the SA that I am buying for myself, not matter what type of feminine garment is involved!! I have been wearing a bra since I was 9 years old (I am now 79) so never have a problem buying them! In fact, I rarely have a problem buying anything, whether it is feminine or not. Unless you count picking out the right thing!! All of us girls have that problem!!

[Nicola2876]

I used to go shopping with all my excuses prepared but as I got older I stopped bothering. If someone had told me that in my thirties I would have full on conversations with female assistants I wouldn't have believed them.

I had a great discussion in La Senza with a lovely woman about underwear and she advise me on which stockings to wear and what I liked/disliked. Try it, you will love the way it makes you feel.

[RachelDenise]

If asked, I say I'm buying for myself. It is generally obvious since I'm full figured.

[Cheryl T]

I feel no need to give anyone any excuse.
I'm shopping, I'm spending money and I am the customer. What I am buying and who it is for is not of their business.
If my credit card is rejected, then talk to me about that....otherwise, ...

[rebecca34]

I guess I've never been asked straight out, but I've got used to shopping for Becca now so I'm pretty comfortable browsing and such. If I was asked, I guess I'd just try and be honest.

xx Becca xx

[sue ellan]

None I just go buy. Simple.

same here.

sue ellan

wear frilly lingerie because life is too short not too.

[CDVeronica2]

The last time I shopped at Victoria's Secret I told the clerk I was looking for a pushup bra in size 38B with their maximum lift because I needed as much help as possible. She helped me find the size I needed, I picked out a couple different styles and the colors I was interested in and she took me over to wait for a dressing room to open up with the other customers. The clerk in the dressing area asked me for my name. When I was in the dressing room she knocked on the door and asked me if I needed anything, using my male name.

Although I spent many years trying to hide the fact I was shopping for myself, I've found that since I started asking to try things on I buy clothes that fit much better and seldom end up with something that isn't something I like. The clerks really don't care and I've never been refused trying on clothing regardless of how busy the store was.

Veronica

[DanaR]

Usually I don't say anything. I have, depending on the situation, told the SA that I crossdressed. If this was the case, we would talk about clothes or almost anything. Sometimes they would invite me back, and come dressed; which I have.

[Jmichelle60]

I don't offer up an excuse when buying something in drab. Sometimes I get the occasional, "Oh, this is pretty" and I agree with them. If a SA hasn't figured out the clothes are for me after I've just tried them on in the dressing room, they're not to bright. I think anymore that a sale is a sale to them.

[Wendi_cd]

You shouldn't need to justify spending on anything to anyone, but if asked, I say "It's for me." However, I look very feminine all the time, so my response is never surprising.

Is that you in the photo, cuz it looks like a girl to me. :)

[carolinewalker_2000]

As others have already said, most SA's just want to make a sale; they don't care who is buying or for whom the item is intended. I just select what I want and take it to the checkout. I can't recall ever receiving odd looks. I have even been shopping in drab, found a dress I like but am unsure about the size - why is it that the size label varies so much between manufacturers!! - and have taken the alternatives into the male changing rooms to try on. Occasionally this has clearly confused the assistant on duty, but, again, nothing ever has been said.

Many threads have commented on the helpfulness of SA's employed my MAC. I was out shopping one day when, on a whim, I went up to the MAC counter in a department store - (not even one of their own stores, just one counter amongst many) - and asked an assistant for advice on applying eyeliner - I always make a mess with the liquid stuff. She didn't bat an eyelid, and was most helpful in recommending a dry-powder product and a special brush. Needless to say, she made a sale!

My advice is, don't worry; just shop for girly things as you would for anything else.

[JaniceToms]

I am with everyone here who advocate just tell the truth, "It's for me"! no further explanation is called for though I have occasionaly added to a confused SA that I like to dress feminine.

That said I do try to observe a few rules.
- I am senstive about shopping is a store where only one SA is available. If the SA is nervous of crossdressers in general then I don't want to make her even more nervous if she is the only person in the store.
- If the SA has been helpful and has allowed me to try an article on or has given me friendly advice then I try not to leave the store without actualy purchasing something, this follows the dogma that all the SA is really interested in is a sale and are not judgemental about CDs, then on that basis she should get a sale even if its just a pair of stockings.
- I am loathe to buy anything if the SA does not allow me to try it on for size as she would any regular GG.
- I try to avoid shops with cameras, though this is getting to be all but impossible - I really don't want to find myself on You Tube!

[Claire Cook]

Saying I am a transvestite conveys I have the plague.
CD.. I am weird. I just want to dress up as a woman.. Must be a pedophile.
Gay? Naah! not gay.

Like others here, I make no bones about the fact that these are MY clothes. Even when I'm dressed, I'll tell the SA I'm a crossdresser if I might need advice (don't women do someting similar when they are looking for the right fit?). And I've never had a hassle from anyone within earshot if I do so.

The point is: by saying "It's for my [fill in the blank]", or being self-conscious / embarrased / paranoid about being CD / TG, we don't do anything toward tolerance or acceptance.

[Etsy]

++justbuyit

If a SA asks if it is for you say, "Yes.". Most of the time you will find that SA's are helpful. In my experience some are VERY helpful (I think some love us because we are the interesting and fun break from the daily grind). Some ladies will be wierded out. Don't let it get to you; they are probably just not used to us yet. The worst case scenario is that the SA is used to us and has had too many frustrating experiences. Show her that you are different and maybe her opinion will change. Boutique stores that are not in indoor malls are usually the most friendly and helpful to us. Pick a day that it isn't too busy and you will probably get exceptional service and lots of good advice.

Sometimes I don't shop in places where I think I'll run into someone I know if I fall in love with something just not spooky looking enough. What if someone I know takes away one of my gother than thou points? It would be an epic tragedy of the highest order ;).

[jillleanne]

I always use the same excuse. " Honey, I can either spend this money burning a hole on my purse on hunting, fishing, and golf, or we can go together and find a sale at Beall's or Ross stores, what's it gonna be?" Seems to work at our house.

[danielletorresani]

I find that if I just act like it's totally normal then the cashier follows suit.

If anyone should ever ask, though, I'd just say it's for my wife.

[Sallee]

I like the female impersonator line Thats great.LOL I think I'll use it if the situation arises. Then I'll tell them I make tons of money doing it.
Really I don't use any excuses, I will tell the truth I don't know the SA's and they don't know me.So who really cares.

[Victoria P]

I have a more bold approach than I used to way back,making excuses that it was for my GF even if I never had one ,or it was for a bet!

Now I go into a public washroom and apply some mascara and go into a dept store to spray on some lady perfume!

There now that should get the message across loud and clear!! I am always polite as well so it helps!

Good Luck ladies :)

Victoria P

[meganmartin]

Most of the time if they don't ask I dont tell them anything.

[phoebe61]

if im ever asked i say they are for me as said earler they problery seen it before.
ive had sa's who taken it as a joke but ive said im serious, my wife says iv'e no shame, but i cant help what i am so might make most of it.
phoebe uk