Surprising yet confusing .... Do you think she knows

[luuv2dress]

Little background: me and my Girlfriend used to live together broke up for a couple years then recently moved back in together. During our first living experience she knew that in the winter i wore tights under my clothing instead of long johns i explained to her and she later found out that due to me bieng a big guy it was easier to find 4x tights vs 4x long johns. So she didnt mind nor comment she even brought me some one time.

I always kept my feet pedicured and we've gone to get them together before. One time i was lotioning my feet and she commented you should put a shear pink on them of course i said no but inside i was yelling yes...lol later that night i was again lotioning and and she happened to be painting her nails she said can i? I knew what she was referring to but said can you what? She said paint them i laughed and she said come on whos gonna know unless you showing your feet off to people..i laughed and said ok since you want to so bad but i'm taking it off. once again yelling on the
inside yes yes yes!

********So fast forward to this morning a cpl years later
Im standing at my dresser drawer and jokingly commented if i dont do laundry i'm gonna have to buy underwear or borrow a pair of yours and shockingly she replied well don't take any of my good ones! And if you do put them back in your drawer after you wash them, she goes into saying haha you'd probably look good in a thong take one of them......

I so wanted to to take her up on the offer but of course i didnt and just laughed with her.

Do you think she knows i cd or just going with the flow shes never confronted me with anything about it

[Brenda Freeman]

Whether she knows or not, it sounds like she is opening the door for exploring! I think you should go through that door grab the thong and see where things go! You might joke I prefer bikini or high cuts she may go shopping! Have fun.

[Jenniferathome]

Regardless, your life will be better if you tell her.

[luuv2dress]

Brenda i really considered it

Jennifer i think it would also but still a little apprehensive about it.

[Karren H]

Nope.... She doesn't know....

[luuv2dress]

Regardless, your life will be better if you tell her.

Jennifer wow i justbread your story i'm so happy for you. I can only wish for now that when time comes its goes as easy. So how are things now?.

[kimdl93]

I don't know what more she can say to let you know that its ok.

[Marleena]

The next time she "tests" you just go for it! It's what you want, let yourself have fun!:)

[Barbara Ella]

I dont think she knows, not knowing ages and social tendencies etc. But she sounds open to trying new things. Do not hesitate to take her up on her next offer, and I am sure you can maneuver her into one. Sounds like she wants you to participate in something. you just need to find out what, and be honest with her.

Babes

[Foxglove]

It's for you to decide, of course, but from what you've told us, if it were me, I think I'd go for it. I tend to agree with those who say she doesn't know. She may be only joking. She may view it as only a once-off thing for a laugh. But it may turn out that she's open to it, and then it would be a lot of fun for you. We don't know much about your situation/relationship, but it really doesn't sound to me like you've got anything to lose here.

[luuv2dress]

Thank you girls i really needed some feed back on this and you have once again come thru :)
I will take her up on it next time, and see where it goes. It would give me good reason to get My things out of my storage bin :)

[SweetPea_GG]

IMO she doesn't know and was probably making a joke of it thinking you were joking as well. I know before I found out about my husband years ago I would joke every now and then about him wearing panties but this was just joking around. I never thought back then he was a CDer. But just my opinion on what you've told us here.

[luuv2dress]

IMO she doesn't know and was probably making a joke of it thinking you were joking as well. I know before I found out about my husband years ago I would joke every now and then about him wearing panties but this was just joking around. I never thought back then he was a CDer. But just my opinion on what you've told us here.
Sweetpea i do agree, thats why i'm still apprehensive about it. But i'm only gonna find out by trying and see what happens

[insearchofme]

Im standing at my dresser drawer and jokingly commented if i dont do laundry i'm gonna have to buy underwear or borrow a pair of yours and shockingly she replied well don't take any of my good ones! And if you do put them back in your drawer after you wash them, she goes into saying haha you'd probably look good in a thong take one of them......

Believe it or not but that is almost exactly how I got started wearing panties. The only difference was she said that panties would probably be more comfortable. That was 6 years ago and I wear panties almost all the time.

[Lorileah]

you have two choices. Remain as you are, wonder and fret over it. OR just tell her. I would keep it a secret that way when she does find out she can also wonder what else you have hidden from her.

How many times must we say not telling is as bad as lying about it? You are not doing anything to make you feel better and you are not doing anything that will make her feel better later.

[paulinescotlandcd]

Just sticking in my two pennys worth, I reckon she has not got a clue about your crossdressing.

[Gillian Gigs]

What seems obvious to you might not be to anyone else. From the comments that you made, I say that she does not know.

[luuv2dress]

How many times must we say not telling is as bad as lying about it? You are not doing anything to make you feel better and you are not doing anything that will make her feel better later.

you have a valid point.....

[luuv2dress]

After taking in your comments i have come up with this...

Since she dressed and left before me this morning, and now i'm home before her i will put on a pair of her panties not thongs though and go do laundry like i need to... See what happens when i get undressed tonight, if she comments on them and how she does i will take things from there... I figure i can always says hey you offered!.. Wish me luck girls

[giuseppina]

I'm not sure that is a good idea without permission in a serious conversation. I wouldn't go any further than washing her clothes for her. Beyond that is asking for trouble, IMHO.

[luuv2dress]

I'm not sure that is a good idea without permission in a serious conversation. I wouldn't go any further than washing her clothes for her. Beyond that is asking for trouble, IMHO.

Yet another valid point... Ok guess i wont idk what to do but this is def valid point... Good thing i hadnt logged out yet.
Well i will keep you all posted

[AllieSF]

Good luck with all this. Just make sure to let drop a silly comment that the panties actually feel pretty nice and that you could probably get into wearing them on a regular basis. I am now anxiously awaiting your follow up report.

[jillleanne]

I think from reading your post it means she wants you to buy her new polish, underwear, and whatever else she decides and you can do whatever you want with the old ones. Best get out the cheque book. Either that or it means she likes a Toyota Camry.

[prettytoes]

If she is offering, have fun with it! I used to throw clean underwear ing the wash just so I could use the excuse that I ran out and had to borroow some of hers. That was over 20 years ago, and she just found out about my dressing a few months ago. My only wish is that I would have told her long ago. Things have been great ever since! I love having my toenails painted all the time, the satin panties are very comfortable, and the satin pajamas and nighties feel great on my silky smooth legs!
I would say go for it when she offers, then tell her how much you enjoy it. I wish my wife would have opened the door for me like it has been opened for you. Good luck!

[Lorileah]

After taking in your comments i have come up with this...

Since she dressed and left before me this morning, and now i'm home before her i will put on a pair of her panties not thongs though and go do laundry like i need to... See what happens when i get undressed tonight, if she comments on them and how she does i will take things from there... I figure i can always says hey you offered!.. Wish me luck girls

I see a train wreck coming on that.

How about since you are home early, you make a nice meal, maybe some wine, soft music. Maybe candlelight as that makes things softer. Then sit across from her, tell her how much you love being with her and how much she means to you. Then maybe a little romance.

Then tomorrow you tell her you want to wear her panties...OK so that isn't a good idea either. But maybe during your candlelight and wine, you gently tell her you would like to discuss something with her and mention that even while you may have sounded like you were joking during those conversations, you would really like her to know that you have the desire to dress up. Start slow, tell her you would like to hear her side of it. Be prepared for the standard questions. No, you are not gay, No, you don't want to be with a man. No, you don't want to change sexes. Yes, it is part of you. Yes you enjoy it. Yes, you are still the same guy she knew this morning. Yes, you will work on setting boundaries with her. Yes, you still love her. Seems simple right?

Now I will wish you good luck

[Crysten]

Well, keep this in mind: There's the idea of a silly little "private joke" between the two of you (which she may consider it) and "Honey I'm a crossdresser and enjoy wearing womens clothing as much as I can". Those are two different beasts entirely. So, be wary. **DISCLAIMER** Of course honesty is always the best policy, so if you think she's ok with it I would tell her. Just be aware of the possible consequences. As in her dumping you and moving out again.

Ah I just read some more of your posts here. Don't take any of her clothing without her express permission. Bad juju there. Yessiree.

[DanaR]

Nope.... She doesn't know....
I agree with Karren. If it were me, next time she jokingly suggests something like that, ask her how she would feel if you wanted to do that more. If she says that she wouldn't have a problem with it, then tell her. If she says that she would have a problem with it, then figure out why she is doing what she is doing.

[Allisa]

Funny how some stories reflect on each other,I too when I was younger had a girlfriend who would play dress-up with me like I was her Barbie or something all joking around and stuff,when she went to hair dressing school I became a living practice head ;only for curling and the like;no cutting or dying,my hair was just below shoulder length at the time.There were times when make-up was used and being so young looking girly was easy.The whole time it was like having a girls day of fun ,but once the truth was told the party was over and I lost a good friend with benefits.Just be ready for any reaction if you prefer to come clean with her.She may have an inkling or just playing,take your time and feel the water before jumping in.

[Foxglove]

Funny how some stories reflect on each other,I too when I was younger had a girlfriend who would play dress-up with me like I was her Barbie or something all joking around and stuff,when she went to hair dressing school I became a living practice head ;only for curling and the like;no cutting or dying,my hair was just below shoulder length at the time.There were times when make-up was used and being so young looking girly was easy.The whole time it was like having a girls day of fun ,but once the truth was told the party was over and I lost a good friend with benefits.Just be ready for any reaction if you prefer to come clean with her.She may have an inkling or just playing,take your time and feel the water before jumping in.

To tell the truth, I find this a bit irritating. She's having her fun, so why can't you have yours? Or rather, she's saying, "You can have your fun in this way, but not in this way." She likes to do a guy up like he's a doll, but then she doesn't like it when she discovers he likes to be a doll: if she really examined her own heart, what would she find in it?

[DonnaT]

Ask her if wearing panties under your tights might be more comfortable. If she offers you a pair, ask her if it would be better, if she'd be more comfortable, if you bought your own. Let the conversation lead you to your next steps.

[Kelly DeWinter]

luvv2dress,

It sounds like your relationship is a very strong one, and it sounds like she has a open playful heart. I'd be open to trusting her, trust is good for a relationship, be open, truthfull and for goodness sake LISTEN if she voices any concerns.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I'm pretty sure she is hitting you over the head with it and you can test her by painting your toenails pink and asking how do you like this color. What can she say, she instigated the whole thing.

[Julogden]

Don't read too much into what she's done, it may or may not mean anything. For instance, before I told my wife-to-be about me, she did stuff that I misinterpreted. One Halloween, she dressed me as a woman, started out with her putting pantyhose on me and trying to stuff my feet into a pair of heels of hers. And in every day life, she also painted my toenails occasionally, suggested that I use the same scent she used, encouraged me to use some very feminine toiletry items, etc.

But when I told her the big secret, she went totally ballistic and told me that there would be no dressing allowed anymore, and she never would even think about working out any sort of compromise, so her earlier "encouragement" turned out to mean absolutely nothing.

On the other hand, it might be a good sign. The only way to know is to bring the subject up and see what happens.

Carol

[Kristy_K]

I would take the chance and just be honest. My opinion is that every lie puts a brick in a wall and over the years the wall can get very tall.

[Launa]

You have just started a new relationship, so nows the time. Don't keep this a secret! If theres another joke about nail painting, hair or clothes then come out and tell her how much you really do like all of it. Or next time don't take the polish off until she asks why you have left it on for so long and then explain yourself. Tonight ask her if you can give her a mani/pedi.... Maybe it could be a good time, maybe not. Some situation will work where you have the opportunity to open up about it.
Now, if you were say 75 years or older and had been married for many years and she never knew, then I would say don't tell her and figure out how to deal with your CDing it in secret.

[Miss Polly]

Prissy Girl's advice is great. The sooner you tell her that you like CDing the better, and she's certainly giving you opportunities to bring it up! She sounds open to the idea of you wearing girly things too. If it were me, the next time she jokes about this kind of thing, I'd say something like, 'I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I actually really like the idea. I have tried on women's things in the past and I really enjoy it. If you're really OK with that, then that would be a lot of fun.'

[luuv2dress]

Good morning girls, i chickened out the other night, but am considering waiting till the next opportunity to walk myself into it. It shouldn't take long though. I appreciate everyones input and thank each of you.

[Maria 60]

Your telling us that she's a go with the flow person, maybe you should be thinking the same.

[Fiona Scott]

I am completey transfixed with this thread, as my wife of 25 years has just bought me a pedicure and suggested that I get my toenails painted........talk about confusion ! Im well in the closet by the way.....or at least I thought I was ?
Fiona
xxx

[Launa]

I am completey transfixed with this thread, as my wife of 25 years has just bought me a pedicure and suggested that I get my toenails painted........talk about confusion ! Im well in the closet by the way.....or at least I thought I was ?
Fiona
xxx

Its time to bolt out of the closet! Don't take off that polish until you have to or it at least starts a conversation. Yee ha!

[Babeba]

I think a lot of how your girlfriend will react will depend on how you present it, and act immediately after. Beware the freaky power of the pink fog! It is a serious thing to have hidden something so long from a spouse so I would treat the disclosure seriously. Read the post on how to tell your spouse first, and the 'now I like it, now I don't' thread to prepare yourself. When you tell her, I would say something like, "there is something I have been ashamed of in my life, and tried to hide and suppress, but recently I have gotten a lot of support on a anonymous forum and there have been a few things which you have said and done recently that make me think you might be more okay with knowing this secret than I had thought... I should have told you sooner, but I have been too afraid to because I love you and never wanted for this to affect you."

Best line Crystal used when telling me that made me feel in control of my reaction to the disclosure? "You don't have to accept it, or participate, or ever see it... That is all up to you, if you want to be involved I would be ecstatic but I don't expect it or anything. I just really wanted for you to know and for me to not hide it from you."

Edit: I just realized I posted wife when I meant girlfriend!! Whoops, sorry!!

[stephi]

This is identical to the conversations I used to have before my better half knew. I was 100 pc convinced she knew but she hadnt a clue - despite me borrowing her panties when I had run short, same jokes, etc. For sure she has not a clue - what has taken you a long time to get adjusted to will take her a time as well. Go on this basis and gently goes it.

best of luck
S

[Bootsiegalore]

you are not doing anything to make you feel better and you are not doing anything that will make her feel better later.

ditto....... Fess up!

[Dannigirl]

she has no idea, my wife and I played this game for 2 years. Of course, I took her up on her offer everytime but she had no idea still. I asked her once I told her I was a CD'er and she said she was just f'n around and thought it was fun. Now she is totally accepting of anything I want to wear anytime (in fact she accepts it more than I do as now I am really shy around her with my dressing now that she knows).

good luck

Danni

[ReineD]

Do you think she knows i cd or just going with the flow shes never confronted me with anything about it

It's hard to say. But I can tell you that most people outside this community do not have ANY IDEA what it is about. Heck, even some members in the different parts of this community don't understand each other.

I think there are a lot of people who think that a guy might be a little kinky if he likes to wear girlie underwear. And I can see a girlfriend wanting to paint her bf's nails, just because it is something that is a little taboo, as a bonding experience for having a secret between you that no one else knows about. The other day I used a ball point pen to draw a face on the bottom of my SO's big toe. lol. This is just a silly thing, it isn't something he'd tell people at work about, and it's not even taboo! :p

Anyway, it sounds as if it is time for you to be honest with her. What is the extent of your dressing right now, exactly, and how often do you dress?

[luuv2dress]

Anyway, it sounds as if it is time for you to be honest with her. What is the extent of your dressing right now, exactly, and how often do you dress?

Since we moved in dressing time has gone down considerably i havent been dressed outside in a yr or so. Occassionaly i throw on something of hers to scratch the itch while home alone. Actually i thought the urge had gone away for the most part but its come back in a big way i watch her dress in the morning wishing i was putting the bra dress and heels on.

when i was in my own place i dressed every night and occassionaly i ventured out late nite on drives and walks.

[ReineD]

Actually i thought the urge had gone away for the most part but its come back in a big way i watch her dress in the morning wishing i was putting the bra dress and heels on.

If it has reached the point where you envy her putting on her own clothes, do you think you can tell her about yourself? Have a look at this post, it might help:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner