Let's Try This Again

[Melissa Pink]

I'm returning to the forum and my transition after a long hiatus. It's a long story but I decided to attempt to reject my feminine and sexual feelings and return to living full time as a male. After much introspection I've realized that isn't what I want in my life and I'm happily returning to my transition. Due to occupational reasons I'll have to remain part time for the time being but continue my transition when my finances enable me to complete my transition.

I've been going out on weekends and met someone a few weeks ago at a club. I gave him my mobile phone number and we've been chatting, texting nearly every day and met for lunch and drinks. I have strong feelings for him that include the desire for intimacy. I will be seeing him this weekend and plan to take our relationship to the bedroom. I'm excited and scared at the same time. This will be a first for me but I know that it's something that I want. I don't think that I'll have any reservations if we are intimate. Has anyone else been down a road similar to this? Any positive input and suggestions would be welcomed! Thanks!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Melissa,

I transitioned five years ago.

Last year I was at odds with myself concerning an attempt to return to as much of a male mode as possible.

I figured it would be worth a shot to attempt a salvage of what I left behind.

That thought process abruptly halted when I realized everyone and everything I left behind half a decade ago was long gone.

Today I am fully comfortable in my own skin.

Welcome back Melissa. :O)


Julia

[Katesback]

If your pre-op you should NOT be dating men in my opinion. First you claim to be a woman and women dont have penises so any man that wants you probably is a mess. Second he wont treat you like a woman. third the odds of the relationship ending in pain are so great that being a non betting person I would still bet against it.

You are early in your transition. It is like your a teenager at this time. You really need time to live as a woman in order to be ready for dating.

[Melissa Pink]

I appreciate your insight and comments. I have a strong desire to date men, enjoy their company, attention, affections and perhaps become intimate while they are fully aware that I am "pre-op". You seem to be suggesting that I am supposed to ignore my feelings. I understand that there are a lot of wolves out there that want to "bag a tranny", but I have a need for intimacy that I don't think is unnatural. I will sail carefully into this part of my life. Thanks again for your insight and wisdom!

[Bree-asaurus]

I say do what you want. Just be aware of the risks. I totally disagree with Kate saying not to date because it will probably end up bad. If I lived my life by those rules I would be a total recluse... afraid of what MAY happen instead of enjoying the ride while I can.

I've lost someone I loved for years because I was trans... would I do it again? hell yes.

And I don't know if this is common or anything, but I happened to have a huge crush on, and fall in love with a trans-man. I had just sworn off dating myself and then I met my current BF. If you happen to meet someone, dealing with your same issues, that you have a thing for..... friggin go for it. I feel very lucky that I actually found someone I absolutely love, and someone who knows EXACTLY what I'm going through... so don't shy away from that gold-mine because "you're not ready for dating."

[Marissa]

First you claim to be a woman and women dont have penises so any man that wants you probably is a mess.

Wow..so black and white..but then again...as expected from Kate.

Melissa, you have some good thoughts on what you want and the 'what ifs', along with what Bree offers...the rest is up to you..so good luck and be careful in all ways :)

[Melissa Pink]

Thanks for all of your insights and kind words of encouragement. I've been divorced and living alone for about four years. I think that I'm ready to date and have fun. I am a very cautious individual. I have met my friend several times at a Starbucks and a local GLBT friendly bar besides the one we met at. Tonight we are going out and I'm taking him back to a nice hotel and see how it goes. My friend is well aware of my gender status and supports my transition. He's in his early fifties, divorced after many years of marriage and recently began dating. I informed him that I must be able to set the pace of any intimacy that we are going to enage in. With out providing too much information I will be sure to be safe. A close friend will know my location and I will keep my cellular phone close by. I'll let you know how our evening goes. Thanks again! It's nice to be back!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

If you like him, and you get a good vibe, then be careful and enjoy.

[Melissa Pink]

Thanks! I do like him and get very good vibes. He's always been a gentlemen and treats me like a lady and not an oddity. I've met a lot of "straight" guys in clubs that are curious and merely want to "bag a tranny" and you would never hear from them again. I want no part of that scene. We'll take it slow and see what happens.

[Stephenie S]

My advice?

Use a condom. Be as Fing careful as you can be. This is (ahem) virgin territory (pun intended). If you have sex with this gentleman, remember you are having sex with EVERYONE he has ever had sex with in his entire life. Be careful.

Stephie

[Melissa Pink]

Stephanie,
I will most definitely use a condom if we go into that yet unchartered territory. I have purchased condoms and some Astroglide if I decided I want to go that direction. I even bought some strawberries flavored condoms LOL! I worked in the medical field for many years and well acquainted with the plethora of STD's that can be acquired during unprotected S-E-X. There is no such thing as "perfectly safe sex" but I will take all the neccessary precautions to protect myself. Thanks!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Thanks! I do like him and get very good vibes. He's always been a gentlemen and treats me like a lady and not an oddity. I've met a lot of "straight" guys in clubs that are curious and merely want to "bag a tranny" and you would never hear from them again. I want no part of that scene. We'll take it slow and see what happens.

since you met at a club, and you are not really transitioning , you are being much more hopeful than realistic..

[Melissa Pink]

Thanks for your input, but in my mind "taking it slow and seeing what happens" is as about as realistic as I can be. When a few financial obstacles are past me in a few months I will continue my transition as planned. Once a few bills are paid I plan on resigning from my job. I can live reasonably well off an annuity from my first career and focus on myself and being creative.