The Days of Fear

[Traci Elizabeth]

Even though I am through my transition I still read a lot of threads on here. I had originally made the decision to leave this site forever but that was short lived as I remember my journey and felt like I can still contribute to the value of this site. So that being said, I thought of something that struck me in Longing2be-Trisha's latest post about her sitting in a movie theater enjoying being her.

I think that in MOST of our transitions we start it in a state of fear. Fear of being starred at, fear of being mocked, fear of being verbally outed, fear of being in a verbal or physical confrontation, fear of running into family, friends, or people we work with, and the great fear of the unknown and all the stress it causes.

But at some point in our transition (and it is different for everyone), we conquer our fears and fear itself becomes a fading memory.

Then at some undefinable moment we realize that we have become strong, we have become confident, we have become the woman we have hidden all our lives.

We rejoice, we smile, we hold our head up high and in the end, we just simply live our lives as women free of the fears that tried to conquer our very existence.

Just reflecting...

[RenneB]

Although I'm not on your phase of the journey, I think instead of fear, it's that most of us want to blend in with our outside matching our inside.

When we don't get it quite right, we end up standing out. Most of us in the LGBT lifestyle don't want to stand out or draw attention to ourselves.

I kindof wish that more GGs and GMs would have a fear standing out. I'm not taking about those with non-selfinflicted disfigurements or injuries but those with selfinflicted body types. They have the attitude that they don't care what they wear or what they look like. Reference the w*lmartians post. But then again the other side of me says wear or be what you want when you want it and just get over it. We all should have nothing to fear....in a perfect world.

I'm still in the mode were I want to blend into the everyday world and not stand out as a female.

IMHO....

Renne.....

[robyn1114]

Nicely said, thank you for sharing and I'm glad you decided not to leave us.

[Julia_in_Pa]

@ Renee,

I don't think you meant anything by it but you referred to GLBT people as living a "lifestyle".

It's pretty offensive to say that someone born with this is somehow blessed with a choice to be gay, or trans.

That's like saying someone that is missing one or both arms is part of the amputee "lifestyle".

Please don't use "lifestyle" as it pertains to something no one has control over.

Thanks Renee.


Julia


Although I'm not on your phase of the journey, I think instead of fear, it's that most of us want to blend in with our outside matching our inside.

When we don't get it quite right, we end up standing out. Most of us in the LGBT lifestyle don't want to stand out or draw attention to ourselves.

I kindof wish that more GGs and GMs would have a fear standing out. I'm not taking about those with non-selfinflicted disfigurements or injuries but those with selfinflicted body types. They have the attitude that they don't care what they wear or what they look like. Reference the w*lmartians post. But then again the other side of me says wear or be what you want when you want it and just get over it. We all should have nothing to fear....in a perfect world.

I'm still in the mode were I want to blend into the everyday world and not stand out as a female.

IMHO....

Renne.....

[Julia_in_Pa]

It's great that you have decided to stay.


Julia

[gabimartini]

Thank you for this post, Traci! It gave me hope that someday things are going to be alright in my life, after all. :)

[Fractured]

Even though I am through my transition I still read a lot of threads on here. I had originally made the decision to leave this site forever but that was short lived as I remember my journey and felt like I can still contribute to the value of this site.
I appreciate your sentiment and am grateful to everyone who has completed their transition and decided to provide feedback and insight to those still on the path to actualizing themselves. Thank you.

[ReneeT]

Traci,
Your post just confirms the value you add to this community. After all the emotional energy and expense that transition demands, i can only imagine how strong the desire is to leave it all behind you and move forward wih your life. However, the fact that you continue on here is a tremendous help to those of us coming behind. I personally have gained immeasurable strength and encoragement from the input of you all the others who have blazed the trail i walk on. I owe a great big thank you to all of you!

[Melissa Jill]

Im glad you decided to stay. Im right at the beginning of my stuff and that fear holds so true. Just sitting here reading this thread is enough to give me butterflys.

[kimdl93]

Very glad that you opted to stay engaged with this community. Expereince really is the best teacher. Your can offer invaluable insights as someone who has dealt with fear and reached that realize that moment when you recognized your strength, gained confidence and became the woman hidden within.

[Victoria Anne]

Traci I am so happy that you have decided to stay . While I am not so eloquent as some of the other ladies I share many of there sediments . I have moved past the fear but still have those days that I see a guy in a dress looking back at me in the mirror , fortunately those days are beginning to be fewer in part to you and others like you . Thank you for your post .

[melissaK]

I like your point that sometimes we exaggerate our fears, and when we dare to do something we grow inside in confidence and go on to new challenges. Makes me think back to days I spent standing on the edge of the diving cliff at Acapulco watching the waves fill and empty the pool below. Despite lots of practice from lower cliffs I was scared to death. I finally just did it and jumped. The water was cold and stung but I was fine! When I swam up to the surface my whole YMCA swim class was applauding me as I swam from the low springboard pool ready to go do it again!

Hugs
'lissa.

[Michelle.M]

I agree, Traci, and this is an excellent observation worth reflecting on.

[Allena]

Traci - simply thank you. I am so fearful right now - don't ever leave this forum.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I think it is important for each of us to reflect once in awhile to get back to understanding the journey we are on as opposed to letting the journey consume us.

I remember all too well that my every thought centered around "Traci" and my transition. I was so reminded many times by my wife and adult daughter.

I was way too easy to get consumed with transition. Just as it is to find oneself lost in the so-called "pink cloud."

The hardest part of transition is remembering that the world exist beyond us and that our transition is not the center of the universe.

I am not saying that as a negative criticism but as a unique reality we impose upon ourselves.

I remember that I did not enjoy life anywhere near what I do now, UNTIL I quit putting myself in center of my world. It was not until I just started living... just living not as transsexual Traci, not as woman Traci but just as Traci that I started to see the beauty of my life.

I have learned that transitioning is far less about all the physical changes than it is about the mental changes we go through. Yes, HRT changes our brains over time and yes our hormones change but it's when we come out of all of our changes with the knowledge that we are more than a "woman," we are simply and wonderfully just us, no more no less, that we set ourselves free.

[IamSara]

Traci,
I am so glad you decided to stay! for me just beginning to accept who I am and still to afraid to do anything about it in a peramanent way. I gain a lot of information and learnings from your experiences. You put things in a way that I can understand them easily and that is something not everyone can do. Please keep on giving your advice and telling us of your experiences when you can. j
Thanks again.

[LeaP]

I think it is important for each of us to reflect once in awhile to get back to understanding the journey we are on as opposed to letting the journey consume us.

I remember all too well that my every thought centered around "Traci" and my transition. I was so reminded many times by my wife and adult daughter.

I was way too easy to get consumed with transition. Just as it is to find oneself lost in the so-called "pink cloud."

The hardest part of transition is remembering that the world exist beyond us and that our transition is not the center of the universe.

I am not saying that as a negative criticism but as a unique reality we impose upon ourselves.

I remember that I did not enjoy life anywhere near what I do now, UNTIL I quit putting myself in center of my world. It was not until I just started living... just living not as transsexual Traci, not as woman Traci but just as Traci that I started to see the beauty of my life.

I have learned that transitioning is far less about all the physical changes than it is about the mental changes we go through. Yes, HRT changes our brains over time and yes our hormones change but it's when we come out of all of our changes with the knowledge that we are more than a "woman," we are simply and wonderfully just us, no more no less, that we set ourselves free.

My question for you is whether it was possible for it to have been any different during that period?

Lea

[Badtranny]

I'm still in the mode were I want to blend into the everyday world and not stand out as a female....

This is an extremely odd thing for a TS woman to say. Why wouldn't you want to be noticed as female?

I'm just asking because for me, that's pretty much the whole point.

[Starling]

...I have learned that transitioning is far less about all the physical changes than it is about the mental changes we go through...it's when we come out of all of our changes with the knowledge that we are more than a "woman," we are simply and wonderfully just us, no more no less, that we set ourselves free.

Yes, yes, yes! The goal is to live taking our gender for granted, rather than fighting against it every waking hour. That's what cis-gendered folk have, Traci, and that's what I want.

:) Lallie

[Myojine]

speaking of fear....I dont leave the house without a knife with accessable reach.
I do not trust other human beings.

When i can afford it, im going to get a concealed weapons licience and carry around a loaded Glock 10mm.

[Kathi Lake]

Myojine, easy access to weapons is not what you need right now. Get some stability first; in life, in mind, in spirit.

Kathi

[Myojine]

Myojine, easy access to weapons is not what you need right now. Get some stability first; in life, in mind, in spirit.

Kathi

Im a fighter...I was trained to kill those who might threatend my existance.

[Melody Moore]

Myojine, easy access to weapons is not what you need right now. Get some stability first; in life, in mind, in spirit.

Kathi

I couldnt agree more.


Im a fighter...I was trained to kill those who might threatend my existance.

Myojine, those trained in proper armed or unarmed combat don't make such stupid threatening remarks.
In fact it makes those people who are properly trained want to test you out to see how good you really
are. I have revealed a bit about my past life in explaining my hyper-masculine behaviour, but fighting is
one thing I really don't like, even though I can fight and haven't lost a fight since about the age of 16.
But I am so fearful of killing someone that fighting is something I do my best to avoid if I can help it.

Producing a weapon with someone like me who is trained in disarming a person will only get you seriously
hurt or even killed. Because by producing a weapon you demonstrate intent to use it to harm another person.
So that act alone can give someone like me full legal justification to take your life from you in self-defence.

And I should also mention I have never had an assault charge against me in my life, however I have
defended legally using physical force against people who have been charged for assault for attacking
me or other people. So the police know already that I never start any trouble, they find it humorous
now when I do defend myself as a trans woman because those who started it learn a valuable lesson
about picking on a trans woman. :heehee:

I will keep saying it over and over again SITUATIONAL AWARENESS is your best system of self-defence.
Don't put yourself in a dangerous situation where you might be forced to defend yourself or you will get hurt.

Even though I hate this photo that was taken just prior to my transition in early June 2010, it might give you
an idea why noone messes around with me and why it is a grave mistake to threaten me or anyone I care about.

I can go from cool & placid to being a total psycho in a split second...

171138

As you can see I not "a little boy" as a male & there is about 220lb (100kgs) of some very serious whoop arse
there. And with over 30 years martial arts training under my belt, it is not just those fists you had to look out
for. My whole body is a weapon, especially the feet, knees & elbows. I am trained mostly in Wing Chung and
Jujistsu, but have also learnt Tae Kwon Do, Hap Kune Do and Tai Chi.

I still train a few times each week but mostly to help my personal fitness, but my self defence skills have protected
me from becoming a victim of violence about 5 times since I transitioned. 3 of those times guys got violent with me
after I rejected their sexual advances. So I am grateful I can fight, but I am never so cocky about it. I never think
I am always going to win, in fact I always think that I am going to get my arse kicked. I think a little bit of fear is
healthy, it helps me to keep things real, stay focused and stay safe.

I really recommend all trans women to take up some type of mixed martial arts self defence training.

Now you might also realise why lots of people prefer me being a female - I am really so much more placid :heehee:

[Myojine]

I couldnt agree more.



Myojine, those trained in proper armed or unarmed combat don't make such stupid threatening remarks.
In fact it makes those people who are properly trained want to test you out to see how good you really
are. I have revealed a bit about my past life in explaining my hyper-masculine behaviour, but fighting is
one thing I really don't like. I am so fearful that I will kill someone, so it is something I do my best to avoid.

Producing a weapon with someone like me who is trained in disarming a person will only get you seriously
hurt or even killed. Because by producing a weapon you demonstrate intent to use it to harm another person.
So that act alone can give someone like me full legal justification to take your life from you in self-defence.

I will keep saying it over and over again SITUATIONAL AWARENESS is your best system of self-defence.
Don't put yourself in a dangerous situation where you might be forced to defend yourself or you will get hurt.
Will you stop trolling
really?

Because you think im looking for a fight
REALLY woman?
REALLY?!

seriously you gotta be joking me. if you think that statement was the equivlent of "im just gonna go kill someone"

shut
the
hell
up

"that act alone can give someone like me full legal justification to take your life from you in self-defence."

nooo ****ing shiiiiiiiiit.
Why do you think i carry a blade in the first place?
hmm?
SELF DEFENCE.
Why? Because i fear the prejudice that people grow up with.

I spent my time in the military and I was a soldier. Soldiers were trained to kill people. no sugar coat, no bullshit. Combatives was my favorite part, lots of fun, but in the end you were learning to get the advantage and learn to disable them and ****in stab them.
Your average predjudice thug, isnt going to be trained in combatives/jiu jistu. or even be properly physically fit.
But guess who is? Me.

because shit like this...

Transphobic Murders In 2011 (So Far)

Reana ‘Cheo’ Bustamente
Location: Tegucigalpa, Honduras
Cause of Death: Multiple stab wounds to the chest
Date of Death: January 2, 2011
No age reported

Génesis Briget Makaligton
Location: Comayagüela City, Honduras
Cause of Death: Strangulation
Date of Death: January 7, 2011
Génesis was approximately 23-27 years old.

Krissy Bates
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cause of Death: Stabbed
Date of Death: January 10, 2011
Krissy was 45 years old.

Fergie Alice Ferg
Location: San Pedro Sula, Honduras
Cause of Death: Shot multiple times in the head and chest
Date of Death: January 18, 2011
No age reported.

Tyra Trent
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Cause of Death: Strangled
Date of Death: February 19, 2011
Tyra was 25 years old.

Priscila Brandão
Location: Belo Horizonte, Brazil
Cause of Death: shot in the head
Date of Death: March 2, 2011
Priscila was 22 years old.

Marcal Camero Tye
Location: Forrest City, Arkansas
Cause of Death: Shot and dragged
Date of Death: March 8, 2011
Marcal was 25 years old.

Shakira Harahap
Location: Taman Lawang, Jakarta, Indonesia
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: March 10, 2011
Shakira was 28 years old

Miss Nate Nate (or Née) Eugene Davis
Location: Houston, Texas
Cause of Death: shot
Date of Death: June 13, 2011
Née was 44 years old.

Lashai Mclean
Location: Washington, D.C.
Cause of Death: Shot
Date of Death: July 20, 2011
Lashai was 23 years old.

Didem
Location: Findikzade, Istanbul
Cause of Death: Slit throat
Date of Death: July 31, 2011
Didem was 26 years old.

Camila Guzman
Location: New York, New York
Cause of Death: Stabbed several times in the back and neck.
Date of Death: August 1, 2011
Camila was 38 years old.

Gaby
Location: Jalisco, Mexico
Cause of Death: Beaten and burned.
Date of Death: August 6, 2011
No age has been reported.

unidentified male dressed in women’s clothes
Location: Paris, France
Cause of Death: Stabbed
Date of Death: August 24, 2011
She is estimated to be about 30 years old.

Gaurav Gopalan
Location: Washington, D.C.
Cause of Death; subarachnoid hemorrhage due to blunt-impact head trauma.
Date of Death: September 10, 2011
Gaurav was 35 years old.

Ramazan Çetin
Location: Gaziantep, Turkey
Cause of Death: Shot to death by her brother.
Date of Death: October 6, 2011
She was 24 years old.

Shelley Hilliard
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Cause of Death: murdered, her body was decapitated and dismembered then burned.
Date of Death: October 23, 2011
Shelley was 19 years old.

Jessica Rollon
Location: Bergamo, Italy
Cause of Death: Strangled
Date of Death: October 30, 2011
Jessica was 32 years old.

Astrid Carolina López Cruz
Location: Madrid, Spain
Cause of Death: Beaten and stabbed
Date of Death: November 4, 2011
Astrid was 30 years old.

Cassidy Nathan Vickers
Location: Hollywood, California
Cause of Death: Gunshot wound to the chest
Date of Death: November 17, 2011
Cassidy was 32 years old.

only makes for validation to stay in fighting condition.
Im ready to give someone a run for their money before they become a murderer.


Melody you drive me up a ****ing wall.
you talk to people like because they are younger than you they are ignorant. that out right ****in pisses me off.

"those trained in proper armed or unarmed combat don't make such stupid threatening remarks."
because you know EXACTLY how EVERYONE in the world acts.

[Gaby2]

Myojine,
I threw a tantrum a couple of days ago.

It reminded me of the times when I was doing this on a regular basis, a good few years ago.
(My pent-up frustrations were only partially to cause.)
Indeed, I was doing this on an alarmingly regular basis.

I'm glad that I lived a sheltered life and there were enough people around to distract me from my fears(?) and concentrate on what matters.
What matters are people and how we respect each other - I knew this but I just wasn't doing it enough.
I am very thankful to people who regularly and patiently gave me a good, decent "reality-check".

In your post your quote a number of victims of discrimination to make a point about "fear" which I believe is misguided.
Out of respect to these people who have died, please reconsider your POV.
Indeed, Traci in her OP encourages us to believe the exact opposite of what you are saying.

Take care of yourself,
Gaby

[Melody Moore]

Myojine,

First of all I am not a troll or a thug, I am just someone that got really tired of the bullying and
abuse I copped in my childhood and I have NEVER overstepped the boundaries of Self Defence.

I am very well disciplined despite what you might think, I also did 4 years service in the Australian
Army in Infantry (2/4RAR) so I can also kill people other ways if I have to. But I wont even go there
& discuss that due to OpSec reasons. However violence, bullying or abuse is something I really despise
and carrying guns & knives does NOT solve anything. We have had this debate here many times. And
besides 99.99% of the violence you will experience will be from someone you know, and it usually arises
from a personal situation where a 'friend' might get violent because you reject their sexual advances.

So the need for a weapon is very rare in these situations where your guard is usually down anyway
and getting to a weapon can be extremely difficult in the heat of the moment. With martial arts in
these types of situations I am the weapon so I don't need to try and reach for a gun or a knife.
If I did have to go for a weapon, then I would most likely already be dead before I could get to it.

You also just stated again that you will carry a knife with an the intent to cause injury, harm of even
death. I don't know about where you are, but here in Australia carrying a concealed weapon including
a knife will get your arse thrown in jail with no questions asked. So martial arts is all I need out here.

I would also be one of the first people to step in if I see you getting hurt. And it wouldnt be the first
time I have come to someone else's aid. I took out a homophobe here one night all caught on CCTV
video at a Mcdonalds Restaurant here in Cairns after he assaulted two gay guys because they kissed
each other. In the local LGBT community they call me a hero now but I don't see it like that, people
needed to be protected and I was just the best person to do it. So what have you done to save or
protect other people? It is obvious you never seen combat or you wouldn't be so defensive about it.

[Myojine]

Myojine,

First of all I am not a troll or a thug, I am just someone that got really tired of the bullying and
abuse I copped in my childhood and I have NEVER overstepped the boundaries of Self Defence.

I am very well disciplined despite what you might think, I also did 4 years service in the Australian
Army in Infantry (2/4RAR) so I can also kill people other ways if I have to. But I wont even go there
& discuss that due to OpSec reasons. However violence, bullying or abuse is something I really despise
and carrying guns & knives does NOT solve anything. We have had this debate here many times. And
besides 99.99% of the violence you will experience will be from someone you know, and it usually arises
from a personal situation where a 'friend' might get violent because you reject their sexual advances.

So the need for a weapon is very rare in these situations where your guard is usually down anyway
and getting to a weapon can be extremely difficult in the heat of the moment. With martial arts in
these types of situations I am the weapon so I don't need to try and reach for a gun or a knife.
If I did have to go for a weapon, then I would most likely already be dead before I could get to it.

You also just stated again that you will carry a knife with an the intent to cause injury, harm of even
death. I don't know about where you are, but here in Australia carrying a concealed weapon including
a knife will get your arse thrown in jail with no questions asked. So martial arts is all I need out here.

I would also be one of the first people to step in if I see you getting hurt. And it wouldnt be the first
time I have come to someone else's aid. I took out a homophobe here one night all caught on CCTV
video at a Mcdonalds Restaurant here in Cairns after he assaulted two gay guys because they kissed
each other. In the local LGBT community they call me a hero now but I don't see it like that, people
needed to be protected and I was just the best person to do it. So what have you done to save or
protect other people? It is obvious you never seen combat or you wouldn't be so defensive about it.
first of all i didnt call you a thug i called you a troll.

well... dispite what people say or think here
I beleive violence agaisnt those who descriminate agaisnt the lesser of those is a solution.

Ive gotten into peoples faces. told people to "shut your mouth you ignorant pick before i shut it for you"
most people arent gutzy enough to stand up to that kinda aggression.

If you havent figured it out...im hostile and completely ****ing distrusting of almost EVERY human being on this planet.

ive found out soo much crap about my life since moving hear with my mom. my father kidnapped and abused/neglected me, i lived around my grand mother for almost a decade and enver even knew it, but she was well aware i was there.
people be it family or outside of family have abused me.
ive been fired abused kicked out of homes because im transgendered.


how many times have yuou seen my signature and never read it?
Judge me not because i hate you, i hate you because you have judged me.
~Myojine Kaawasen
The world has turned my heart cold, my spirit freezes the very air in which i breath.
The pain I feel is the essence of the darkness and nightmare that has been my life.
My blood runs cold and vile, pure poison in the spirit it carries
Burning distain of the fith of men, and gods.
Can you not see what hate hath made me become?


yeah my heart is fully of hatered. my hands scarred with malice and marks from fights.
my wrist slashed and burned.

so yes tell me again
"get over it not everyone is like that"
"youre just a sad little person"

Ill start acting like a homely human being instead of a hostile when people start treating me like a human being instead of an animal. until then everyone can **** off.
I give everyone a chance, but it only takes a few seconds to ruin that for the rest of their life.

and
just a reason of logic
if you carry a weapon... isnt it with intent to do harm? Thats the point right? a weapon is used to deal damage to a target.
IF someone confronts me because im trans, gay, ect. they are a target.

And also as taught in combatives the point is to get the advantage of your attacker... THEN stab them.

Stop trying to teach me something, the way you talk to me feels extremely degrading and youve taught me nothing.

[Badtranny]

This is a really distasteful little exchange.

[Frances]

This is a really distasteful little exchange.

Very much so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pamela Kay]

This is a really distasteful little exchange.

I agree with you and Frances.

[Melody Moore]

Myojine, stop thinking the world owes you something,
because noone owes you anything, especially me!

Your level of hatred & violence has me believing noone can ever help you.
If you want people to stop hating on you, then stop hating on the world
and stop blaming everyone else for your problems & the mess your life is in.

Hating everyone will never earn you any respect, unlike love &
total honesty and standing up for what you really believe in. I
would be very fearful too if I hated everyone as much as you do.

When you learn to transcend all your fears & put away the hatred then life will be a
lot better for you. In the meantime, you can expect nothing but a very rough journey.

It isn't rocket science ~ You only reap what you sow.

Sorry girls, but something really need to be said, you know I have tried for well
over a year to reach out to Myojine who seems to expect everything handed to
her on a silver platter. Nothing comes easy in this life, especially gender transition
so she should get use to it if she is ever to succeed.

[Gaby2]

... I have tried for well over a year to reach out to Myojine...
That's true.

Myojine,
once again,
please take care of yourself.

Your manner and your answers can breed bad-will and fear in others.
None of us want that, least of all you.
And just by being here, you are a very important role model for other young people.

At your age and still living in Ireland, I was a very frustrated young man (for innumerable reasons!)
Much like you've shown above, I also couldn't control the (mis)use of "distasteful" language in my native tongue.

One of the big benefits I had on moving to Germany was having to learn German.
I had to learn a brand new language to express myself in everyday life and get on with people.
I noticed on my frequent trips home to Ireland that I had become aware how self-destructive "distasteful" language is.

That doesn't mean I've become a Holy Joe and a beacon of politeness.
It just means that I've become more discerning - and I do like to laugh at myself as much as possible.
Yeah, AMAP!:puke:

Nothing would make me happier now, than if I could make you laugh... and you'ld just take the piss out of an auld dinosaur like me.

:hugs:Gaby

[Myojine]

When you learn to transcend all your fears & put away the hatred then life will be a
lot better for you. In the meantime, you can expect nothing but a very rough journey.

It isn't rocket science ~ You only reap what you sow.


youre quite the philosipher aren't you.
Sorry but I checked into the hotel of reality some time ago.
I dont buy all that theologen crap.

Theres a word for people like me.
Misanthropy.

[Melody Moore]

Theres a word for people like me.
Misanthropy.

So that is your excuse you are sticking with & you are not prepared
to take any responsibility for your own life and your actions yeah?

You have choices here, you can either choose to deal with life and everything it
entails either the easy way or hard way. Learn to love instead of hate. Be happy
instead of miserable. Be positive instead of so negative. And negatively polarised
people will only attract more negativity by the way. And if what I have seen so
far is anything to go by Myojine you are in for a hell of a ride I am afraid to say.

And as for the theologen crap as you put it, these are basic fundamental philosophies NOT
just biblical teachings. If you emit bad karma you will always attract more bad karma. If you
emit good karma, then you will attract more good karma, as I said its not rocket science.

What goes around, comes around.

[Myojine]

So that is your excuse you are sticking with & you are not prepared
to take any responsibility for your own life and your actions yeah?

You have choices here, you can either choose to deal with life and everything it
entails either the easy way or hard way. Learn to love instead of hate. Be happy
instead of miserable. Be positive instead of so negative. And negatively polarised
people will only attract more negativity by the way. And if what I have seen so
far is anything to go by Myojine you are in for a hell of a ride I am afraid to say.

And as for the theologen crap as you put it, these are basic fundamental philosophies NOT
just biblical teachings. If you emit bad karma you will always attract more bad karma. If you
emit good karma, then you will attract more good karma, as I said its not rocket science.

What goes around, comes around.

Karma does not exist.
its a religious idea from hinduism and it DOES NOT EXIST.
Neither does GOD, nore Zues, nor Shiva, Santa, nor Allah, nor any other deity or delogical entity or force.
You can keep your Fairy Tales to yourself, because some of those fairytales are the REASON some of use experiance abuse discrimination and are victim of hate crimes.
"I like your christ, not your christians"
~Muhadma Ghandi

Youre ABSOLUTELY correct, its not rocket science, its fluesy little fairytales that people blew out of perportion. because Rocket Science and Science in general is based on tests, data, facts and educated theoretical studies. not someones "faith." You know what faith is to me? A name for a girl, a woman who I adore as a role model.
It is more POSSIBLE for a race of extra terrestrial beings, from another part of our galaxy to visit Earth, that it is for a Dielogical Overlord to exist.
God is a lie.

Ive already been on "one hell of a ride"
Or does 17 years of abuse, being kidnapped, raped, locked in isolation, suicide attempts, or being tossed out on the streets not count.
I am not even supose to be ALIVE right now, i was supose to have died December 1st 12:08am, i am listed as DNR in the virginia state medical system.
Why i am still alive is by tracelbe events that happen purely by chance. There is no devine creator pulling the strings, nor Karma calling the shots.

[Kelly DeWinter]

ENOUGH !

Have you girls actually read the OP original post ?!??!?!?!

The Days of Fear

......................... fear of being in a verbal or physical confrontation, fear of running into family, friends, or people we work with, and the great fear of the unknown and all the stress it causes.

You have turned this thread into a kind of one of the very things she feared ......

I wish for the new year that a few of the people here would stop acting like children and turning good threads into 'me'/'I' threads. It drives people away and is disrespectful to the original poster. Take the arguing into a thread in the lounge or into PM space and stop flaming on peoples threads.

How RUDE ! Just learn to walk away. You are the better person for taking a step away from an inane conversation like this. Do you really think spending all that time and energy in verbal sillyness makes you a better person ?

Kelly

P.S. How many of you will ignores this and continue it here and elsewhere ?


and now back to the OP thread

Traci,

It's grand that you have decided to stay and continue to contribute to the forum. It's understandable when some move on with their lives, yet at the same time it leaves a void to those who are still on the journey. I can only assume to some it feels like there is a black hole waiting at the end of the journey. Your continued thoughts and insights are valuable to all.

[Sharon]

Boy, I really wish I could simply remove some people from posting in threads such as this one, it would make my life so much easier and eliminate the disrespect that is shown towards every other member, most especially the person who starts the thread.

Such as it is, however, once again I need to close a thread while I apologize to the adults and the innocent.