Tonight i came clean

[Denise Robinson]

whilst writing this i feel a sense of change. Tonight i told my wife that im fem and think as a fem. i wanted to leave this untill after christmas but the desire to out myself and come clean was immense. you see i just cannot live a lie. i feel morally wrong in keeping such a secret secret from the one person i should not. this secret was destroying me as a person and turning me into something i didnt want to be.This i knew could result in my wife leaving. well so far things have gone well and she hasnt left but time will tell i guess. i love her to bits but i have to also think of her too. you see if it was a major no no then by being honest with her she has a choice. i cant be selfish i have to do the the right thing as she knows now i cant changed who i am. i dont want to get to the point when we are 60 and then she finds out...that to me would be unfair as she would feel cheated that she never knew me at all and everything else was a sham. I am glad i have done it , not glad to cause the pain. well i will try to keep you all updated but as you may know these things take a few weeks to sink in.

emotionally tired and drained so apologies for bad grammar and spelling.

[Anita]

GOOD LUCK:thumbsup:

[Sazzle]

You've told her and she hasn't immediatly rejected you? Thats how I am reading it, and that has to be a good sign. But good luck and we'll all be here to support you whatever happens.

*hugs*

[Mary Jane]

Best wishes for a good outcome. I am glad you feel better for having told her.

[Natalie x]

It must have been really hard to do, not knowing how it would be received, but you did the right thing and, by telling her, showed just how much you love her. I hope it works out ok.

[Jodi Lynn]

As I have said in some of my other posts. I got "found out" last April. My wife "found" a bra that I had in a drawer next to my computer. She aproched me about it in a phone call while I was at work. Needless to say she wasn't happy, and keep pushing. I finally conviced her that we would talk about it when I got home. I had most of the day to think about what I was going to do. When I got home of course it was the first thing she hit me with when I walked in the door. I had decided to tell her everthing. I showed her my yahoo profile, my cloths, my make up, my shoes, my pictures, everything. Lets just say that I heard alot of cuse words that night, she took my things and locked them in the trunk of her car. And didn't talk to me for a few days. After that a few days later she gave my things back to me. I had to promise to go to tharapy with her. We did that for a few times, but that the therapist himself had a breakdown, that ended that. We haven't talked much about it since then. I didn't dress for about two months after that, but as we all know we can never stop dressing. She has to know that I am still dressing, but like I said we don't talk about it now. I do feel better about telling her, she hasn't left me and does tell me she loves me, so we will see where it goes from here. BTW, I have been thing about starting gender therapy, I have been asking some of my freinds how they went to see and have gotten some names, so I am going to look into it most likely after the 1st of the year. You may have noticed that I had quation marks around found out. I did this because I think I was getting careless about my things because I want to get found out. What do you think???????

[Sissy Jay]

Good luck and God Bless Denis. I hope she feels the same as you do! You are a special and wonderful person for that. Don't ever forget it! Lets close our eye's and hold hands and say a prayer. I will pray for you and your wife.
Yours truly, sissy Jay

[erinma]

good luck recently told my gf she's been ok with and some what suportive of me you just have to take it slow don't push it on her to much at one time

[KatieZ]

Denise, no matter what happens, rest assured you have done the right thing. Hopefully your wife respects the truth and comes to terms with it.

Keep us posted. We are here for you.


Hugs

[Zelgadis]

It is prolly better that you told her, than her finding out by accident. If she found out by accident, she would (more than likely) feel hurt that you didn't trust her enough to tell her, even if she wouldn't have minded. In the long run, it is much better to have told her. Both of you will fineally know where eachother stand on this matter.

[jennifer easton]

Denise, you've done the right thing, I also felt that my so,kat deserved the right to know and the right to make a choice,we have been together for 9 years and I was going to counseling so I could deal with myself, and then tell her but before I got the nerve she found out, it turned out not to be the end of the world like I had though,she is the best! do what your heart tells you to do,good or bad you'll fell good about it
xoxoxJennifer

[Adrianne]

Good luck.

Adrianne.

[HaleyPink2000]

Cool Beans! Best of luck to you!
Haley:)

[TGMarla]

I hope it all turns out well for you. Best of luck.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Congratulations Denise, I know it was hard, but you did the right thing. Just take things slowly and keep talking to each other. Best of luck to the both of you.

[Shannon]

Denise, a difficult decision and even more difficult to act upon. Sounds like things didn't explode. I think you are fortunate to have clearly defined principles to live by, and that you let them guide your decisions. Best wishes.

[uknowhoo]

I'm sure you must feel a great deal of relief, yet trepidation. I'll keep you both in my prayers. Hugs, Tammi

[Bunny "GG"]

Denise CD,
Congrats on being man/woman enough to tell the truth about your feelings and Crossdressing to your wife. As a GG, I know how hard it is to hear from a spouse that things arn't as they appeared in our marriage. As the spouse of a CD, my greatest fear was of Charlene being gay and not loving me anymore after investing 11 years of my life to him. I had no idea that a man could dress as a woman and still only desire me..It didn't change his/her sexual orientation. It only changed his outside appearance..I fell in love with the person on the inside, (maybe that softer side was what I was attracked too) and however Charlene or Ed wishes to express himself on the outside will have to be ok with me, because I love him..
It was terribly rough in the beginning, it wasn't the clothes, it was really about my own insecurities. However my willingness, open-minded-ness, and Charlene's ability to express her feelings in a non-threatening manner towards our marriage has gotten us through...
There are some great GG's in this forum, and if your wife finally does express interest, see if she will join us here...It helps to know that she's not the only one with a husband who as a softer side.
Bunny GG :bunny:

[Sissy Jay]

Hey girls guess what! I was really nervous about telling my wife that I subscribed to this forum, but when I actually did just now she said "OOHH it's ok sweetie I understand and I'm sorry for not supporting you more lately"! It felt so nice to hear her say that to me! OH! I know this may have been the wrong place for this and I appologize! Please help me to learn how to start a new thread or something. I don't want to keep stepping on toes. HELP

[Toni]

Hi Denise,
It's all been said. You've done the right thing and things can only get better. Good luck and all the best.

[ChrissyCrossedLegs]

Well Done, now all you havet to do is resist the urge to ask her how she feels about it, every five minutes, all day.. every day... especially if she never mentions it again to you.. I am sure you have it all in hand.. Good Luck

[ChrissyCrossedLegs]

Hey Jay..
Way to go sis, keep us informed of how it all goes..

[frilly1]

Denise,
We all have our fingers crossed for you. May the love and respect you've shown be returned in kind.

[Tracy Lynn]

Way to go Denise.

I know its a hard step. Being honest is the best way to go.

[simonep]

Good luck, coming clean was the best thing I did. Less stress and a whole new relationship blossomed.:cheer:

[Stephenie]

Hang in there Denise, It may still get rough once and awhile.

[Phoebe Reece]

Good for you Denise. Doing the right thing is often very tough. Best of luck, whatever the final outcome.

[Bobbie Lee]

good luck girl, i wish i had your courage, please tell me how it works out. i need to do the same as you did but am not sure how to do it or how it will come out. love ya bobbie

[Ellaine]

Hi Denise Totally understand you had to get it out...well done and good luck... I just know it'll be ok. :)






Everything crossed
Ellaine

[Denise Robinson]

Update,

hi all and many many thanks for all of your kind words, means a lot to me, more than you know.

My wife seems to be chilling now to the idea. i guess she spent all day today on the internet researching as i got a few calls with questions. As i work away she is flying over this weekend. we discussed a lot and it basically boils down to that she will support me but if i decided to go and have SRS then the marriage would be over as she needs a physical man not a women. This to me was hard to hear and told her i have thought about SRS but i dont think i would do it. Things i have done in the past she said has now clicked into place for her as she always wondered why i was so fem. I wasnt aware of it but she had noticed. even the way i walk and look like a girl when laying down. weird i know but i didnt notice was normal for me. taking each day as it comes to be honest and see where this leads, but i will take my time.#

well i will update most likely next monday after i have seen my wife.

thanks again for all of your help.

if anyone is thinking about telling their partner and would like more info then please pm me or add me to there msn messenger. i will be there to help if needed.

i really do appreciate you all and feel at home being here.

[Sissy Jay]

Hey Denise, I'm so glad to here about her choice to support you up to the point in which she has stated, and that soon after finding out, that is so nice! just take it slow and let her advance the situation. From what it sounds since she that much, and so soon she might grow to fully enjoy your femme side as much as you, but let her do it, and do not verbaly interfear in her transitioning process yourself! Yours truly, sissy Jay


P.S. My heart is soaring for you! Enjoy each step as it comes to you!

[trannied]

Denise ain't you just wonderful with that wife.

Me I do not know what I would have done.....honest. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if... and sometimes when I have just gone out I wonder if I put that bra away safely. Sometimes I have decided to go home and find if it was hidden. Other times i was jst too far away and stayed away in hope.

Best of luck and wishes with the newly released you

trannied

[Kimberly]

You read like a sound-minded person.

Things will work :) Be considerate, and communicate how you feel, but don't neglect how she feels...

Something we've heard a million times over.

Best of luck to you both!! xx