What Five Years Hve Taught Me.

[Julia_in_Pa]

The 11th of this month marked five years of living full time.

This is what it has taught me;

Not to fully trust people outside the community concerning anything related to being Transsexual or Intersexed. If they are not one of us they do not know.

Not to trust healthcare professionals that have not worked with the community.
Discrimination is alive and well in the healthcare field.

Not to trust family members. Many if not all family members will leave your side at time of your greatest need. If they return you must scrutinize them and their intentions before allowing them back in your life.

Not to trust your employer. Just because it's not legal to fire you for being TS/IS in certain cities/states does not mean they will not find something to fire you over in order to rid themselves of " issues " you have caused them despite your perfect record.

Not to trust religion in any aspect relating to being TS/IS. To do so is playing with a loaded gun.

Living my life now has taught me the most important person in my life is ME.

I honor ME for doing what was necessary not to kill myself but to transition.

I honor ME for having the guts to put up with human filth that stood in my way.

I honor ME for persevering in the face of resistance.

I honor ME for pushing and being in the face of those that would hurt me.

I honor ME for being a bitch.

I honor ME for recreating myself in my own image.

I honor me for telling the nay sayers to go to h3ll.

I did it my way and I'm standing here to tell you you can too.

Here's to me.


Julia

[Danika140]

Where's the "like" button when you need it?!

Happy Anniversary!!

[Inna]

I honor ''YOU'' babe!

[CarlaWestin]

Good for you. Me can only trust me. I do have my older brother that I know I can absolutely trust but that's it. Never a wife, girlfriend, sibling or best friend. Probably my daughter but that's it. I certainly admire your line-in-the-sand attitude. Why? Cause at the end of the day, people really suck!

It's your life, live on your terms.

[Stephenie S]

Congratulations Juila.

Five years. It does get better and better (I think).

Stephie

[Brynn_A]

**Raises a small bit of fine Scotch, tips it your way and smiles.** Congrats dear one, may the next 5 be even more fulfilling.

[Cindy M]

I'm proud of you, and I wish you nothing but happiness in the future. You go Girl!

[Zenith]

"Not to trust your employer. Just because it's not legal to fire you for being TS/IS in certain cities/states does not mean they will not find something to fire you over in order to rid themselves of " issues " you have caused them despite your perfect record."

Don't I know it... :straightface:

[cindy777]

The hardest roads to travel are the most rewarding.
Congraduations, on your journey. You have come a long way Julia.
Best wishes.

Cindy

[Koka]

Julia,

Congratulations!! All the love, peace and light to you.

Namaste!

Jordie aka koka valenti

[Elana]

Congrats Julia!! =) Cheers and happy holidays to you!

[*Vanessa*]

.
I honor you Julia for sharing and being a friend

_/l\_

[donnalee]

Mazeltov!
There is a biblical quote I've always liked - "If I am not for myself, who else will be for me?"

[josee]

That's beautiful, Julia. You go girl. Congratulations. I hope I'm as strong as you some day.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I am happy for you Julia..

You are right to feel that you accomplished something against alot of forces that were against you.

[Julia_in_Pa]

I want to thank each of you for your kindness.

I am hoping that the next five years will be filled with less troubled waters and more love and understanding not just for myself but for all of you as well.



Julia

[Joann Smith]

I like julia :lovestruck:

[Julia_in_Pa]

I like Joanne. Well make me blush some more lady! :o


I like julia :lovestruck:

[Elsa Larson]

There are always xenophobes causing trouble for anyone they perceive as "different". But there are also people who will step out of the crowd to help a stranger.

I've been blessed to meet Julia at some local support group meetings. She's a lovely, clever woman. It is because of people like her that the world is becoming a better place for all of us.

Lancaster's loss is the Lehigh valley's gain.

[Julia_in_Pa]

I miss you Elsa! Thank you for such kind words dear woman.

Say hello to everyone for me!

Merry Christmas!


Julia

[abigailf]

Thanks for the post Julia. It's nice to have a glimpse at what I can expect.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Abigail,

Be strong, be brave and you'll be alright.


Julia

[LeaP]

Survival is an achievement, especially when you come out the other end with some level of validation and self-worth, as you apparently have, Julia. Congratulations for making it, and may you continue to do so.

Lea

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you for your kind words Lea. :O)


Julia

[tracigirl_tv]

Julia, I have the greatest respect for the courage shown by anyone who goes full-time. Thank you for sharing some of the knowledge you have earned over the past five years.

All the best, PA sister *huggg*

Traci

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you so much Traci. :O)


Julia

[vikki2020]

Congratulations,Julia! Here's to you, indeed!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you Vikki!! :O)


Julia

[ArleneRaquel]

JuliaBest wishes and I love this thread. Please share more, you are an inspiration. :)

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you for what you said Arlene. :O)


Julia

[Chickhe]

Nothing wrong with being cautious and including your self in your decision making. I went through a great deal of pain related to trusting selfish people. What I found is, being a jerk is too consuming....I feel better when I give a little, but expect nothing in return (I'm not talking major stuff here... I'm talking about leaving the spare shovel on the curb, having the neighbor you hate pick it and me deciding at least someone is going to make use of it...basically its the thought that counts).

[Kristy_K]

congratulations Julia, I pray your future years will more rewarding.

[IamSara]

Congratulations Julia!!! I love your comments on your five years!!! I know that as I am just coming to terms with my situation in life and the fact that I would only be happy as a woman it is going to get harder and harder until I do something about it. I look forward to your guidance in the forum and to your words of wisdom that you so often have given to those of us needing wisdom and guidance from a lady who has gone before.
Thanks for all you do for us in this forum and I hope there is many more years to look forward to of you being on here and telling us of your life and the great things in it as well as the trying times in it.

[Dawn cd]

What I'm hearing: Don't trust outsiders. Other people really suck. Only Me is important.

One certainly understands that TG/TS people need to be cautious with relationships. But beliefs like these can leave one pretty lonely.

[Mountain Girl]

Your post, Julia, has inspired me to make my own first post. Most of what you say corresponds to my own experience as a Gumby teetering on the brink of transition. I would just add that where "institutions" and leaders, bosses, and administrators are concerned, more often than not they are responding to mostly unseen parties, publics, or constituencies.

Mountain Girl

[SandraAbsent]

Although we have only spoken a few times Julia, I consider you as a role model for how I wish to conduct my life as I move forward into the world of living full time. Thank you for being who you are, thank you for your struggles because they helped to form you, and thank you for your victories because they solidified the mold.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you everyone for your comments and kindness.

As for those that feel that my life is lonely and vacant only need to walk the same path called transition that I have and you as well will understand fully and personally exactly what I speak of.

Until that time I highly suggest you remain as you were until that point and time comes that you also must walk the walk of death.

Anything less from your experiences result in you embarrassing yourselves further and casting a light of indignation upon your posts.


Julia

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Julia!

I must say YOU ROCK GIRL! You are a very strong, beautiful woman who is standing up for herself when others are scared, frightened little children, and feel the need to put others down for showing that they are different! YOU GO GIRL FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!! May others find strength in your example.

Here is a BIG GIANT WARM LOVING HUG FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!:bh:

[Julia_in_Pa]

Sweetheart,

Thank you for such words. Keep fighting!!



Your post, Julia, has inspired me to make my own first post. Most of what you say corresponds to my own experience as a Gumby teetering on the brink of transition. I would just add that where "institutions" and leaders, bosses, and administrators are concerned, more often than not they are responding to mostly unseen parties, publics, or constituencies.

Mountain Girl

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you Trisha for your words.

Transition is seen by many as fantasy concerning life being easier after when it actually is as difficult if not more so than living as you were.

It proves that you only transition if you have to as a last resort.


Julia



Hi Julia!

I must say YOU ROCK GIRL! You are a very strong, beautiful woman who is standing up for herself when others are scared, frightened little children, and feel the need to put others down for showing that they are different! YOU GO GIRL FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!! May others find strength in your example.

Here is a BIG GIANT WARM LOVING HUG FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!:bh:

[Jordie]

You only learn how hard it is when you are transitioning. I am learning is NOT EASY AT ALL!!!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you Jordie for your comment.
Yes your correct.


Julia

[suzy1]

Julia, you come over almost scary strong! I would not like to be the one to cross you girl!
I admire your strength but can we see your softer side a little bit more.:hugs:


SUZY :love:

[Julia_in_Pa]

Suzy,

Oddly I was more passive and mellow prior to transition.
Transition has taught me not let my guard down.
I'm working on being more open and less critical as time moves forward.

Thanks sister. :O)


Julia

[Kelsy]

Suzy,


Transition has taught me not let my guard down.
I'm working on being more open and less critical as time moves forward.




Julia

Julia,
I think you're a dynamic woman and a true survivor! I am learning that you cannot trust
everyone and that some who offer support soon withdraw it. I think surviving transition requires
the attributes you possess and the ability to depend on yourself! I can learn many things from
you but in the end my journey depends on me!

Thanks and hugs K

[Julia_in_Pa]

Kelsy,

I want to thank you for what you wrote, that meant alot to me.

When I was transitioning the only thing that I could rely on were my friends online besides myself.

Kelsy, my advice for you is to dig deep down and find that fire that's pushing you towards transition and nurture it.

Too many become afraid of it and allow it to go out.

It truly sounds like you have prepared yourself for your own journey.

Thank you again sister.


Julia

[Kathy Smith]

>>> APPLAUSE <<<
for you Julia!


(I do miss the curly version avatar though... :-) )

[Kaz]

Hi Julia,

Happy New Year.

You have gone through and come through a pile of ****. You have many friends here who have been there for you. I am one. We have crossed swords in a few posts, but I think positively... you have my total admiration girl! You probably have no idea how many people here admire you!!! xx

[Marleena]

Congrats Julia! You are a survivor, that's for sure. You have overcome more obstacles than anybody I know on this board. Many will see you as an inspiration. You have every right to happiness and it looks like you achieved it when the odds were stacked against you.:)

Marleena

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you so much Marleena.


Julia

[Jonianne]

Congratulations Julia! You are truly an inspiration to press on, against all odds!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Jonianne,

Thank you sweetheart.


Jjlia

[AudreyTN]

congrats Julia, you give me hope and faith that I can do what you have done. you're an inspiration to me already, and I've only seen but a few of your posts. Thanks for posting this.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Audrey,

Thank you sweetheart. If I made it you will make it.


Julia

[KaTanya]

Belated happy five years. May you have many more ahead.

Give em hell, sis!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Thank you Ka Tanya!!

[Katelyn B]

Julia,

Reading your posts makes me believe I could have the courage to face the world as myself fulltime, as everyone else had said you are inspiring

[Julia_in_Pa]

Katelyn,

Thank you for such kind things you said.

The power to be you dwells within you Katelyn.

You are not alone sister.


Julia

[Julie Hall]

Congratulations Julia! I don't know if my path will be similar, but no matter what direction I go - you are an inspiration. I didn't realize just how far you had come. I only hope I can have half the courage you have shown.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Julie,

Thank you sister.


Julia

[Jorja]

Congratulations on 5 years. What do you think you will learn at 10, 15, and 20 years?

[Julia_in_Pa]

Jorja,

I hope to learn to just live day to day for what it is now since the storm is behind me.

I hope I can be truly happy and at peace again.

I'm working on it.

Thank you Jorja!!


Julia

[erika130]

Julia, thanks for sharing this! Like others have said, its truly an inspiration for those of us who are just starting on this road & trying to figure everything out, who to trust or not to, etc. To hear honest advice like that. I hope I'll be able to have the same advice & inspirational message 5 years from now, but until then ill keep yours in mind, Thank you!

[Victoria P]

I admire your bravery and determination to stand in the face of adversity Hon.

Blessings and Hugs sent your way :)

VP

[Julia_in_Pa]

Erika and Victoria,

Thank you for such nice words.

They have touched me.


Julia