Are these normal thoughts?

[whowhatwhen]

I'm just curious because I keep thinking things that I assume no one normal would.

Example 1:
If I were tested and found to have low testosterone, I'm not sure I would want to "fix" it.
Likely I would find reasons to stall under the guise of "research".

Example 2:
I'm not a fan of my male parts.
I don't hate them, but I have no interest in them as they were designed.

Example 3:
I'm reluctant to crossdress until I can get to a point where I can look in the mirror and no longer see a man looking back.

Although I wonder if it may be possible that repressing myself causes more normal, simpler feelings to explode.

<3

[Annaliese]

Are these normal thoughts, they are to me. Thank for posting

[Foxglove]

Example 3:
I'm reluctant to crossdress until I can get to a point where I can look in the mirror and no longer see a man looking back.

<3

Yes, I think number 3 might be a bit abnormal. A normal guy is one like me who's eager to crossdress at any time.

Whowhatwhen, what is normal? All of us here have all sorts of thoughts that most people would consider abnormal. The three things you've mentioned here certainly don't strike me as abnormal. I have similar thoughts all the time. But whose measuring stick are we using? And what sort of abnormal thoughts do normal people normally have? One reason I'm happy being abnormal is because I think normal people are crazy. At the very least, they're certainly boring, which is even worse.

[kimdl93]

normal is a loaded term. I would think the feelings you expressed are fairly commonplace. 1) as we get older t levels drop, and some people, like myself, can benefit from supplemental testosterone. Before I started the injections, I was concerned that they might diminish my desire to dress, and I don't want it to diminish! That hasn't proven to be the case. 2) I always thought male parts were rather ugly and was envious of women's equipment...but as a predominantly hetero person,that's probably a common view. 3) For a long time, I was reluctant to dress completely because I was too tall, my face was too masculine, or "I'd make an ugly woman". I finally overcame those concersn. I may still be all of those things, but I'm comfortable with my reflection in the mirror and confident enough in my appearance to go out in public.

So, in summary, your thoughts are common if not normal.

[Karren H]

I had low T and high prolactin.... which enlarged my breasts.... And would have lead to lactation. And I was torn between experimenting... For like 3 seconds.... In my case the negatives of having a brain tumor that was the cause over powered any potential positives.... Having low T can be an indication of something very wrong.... So if anyone does find have that.... take it seriously...

[whowhatwhen]

I feel a bit more relieved now, thanks!
:)

The thing about testosterone is I worry not about it changing my mind, but that it's going to continually make my body more masculine as time goes on.
Hence, why I would be reluctant to supplement it if the levels were low.

I have a small feeling that they might be low as it is, but I'm afraid to get it tested since I'm not sure I would want more of it.
If that makes any sense.

[Alice Torn]

Good thread, and good posts! I have very low t levels, from 20 yrs of lithiun, and antidepressants, and aging. Dressing for me used to be mostly a sexual turnon. I still am wowed by the lady nin the mirror, but, don't have much sexual energy at all. I have had penis shame all of my life, too. At age 14, my older sister saw me naked and it was a turn off to her. Because of all the rape, and sexual abuse in society, also, i feel male shame . I have accepted my male parts more, but still have some shame. There is nothing shamegful about male or female parts. The male ones are just not very nice looking.

[whowhatwhen]

Dressing for me used to be mostly a sexual turnon.

This happens to me now and I really, really, really wish it didn't.
If I could take it off and leave it in a drawer I totally would. :D

[Melissa Rose]

As others have noted, normal is a relative term. I don't think your thoughts are unusual or loopy.


If I were tested and found to have low testosterone, I'm not sure I would want to "fix" it.
Why does it need fixed if it is not causing or the result of any health problems? Why come up with a bogus answer to explain not wanting to treat it if there is a viable and safe option? You have the right to say no.


I'm not a fan of my male parts. I don't hate them, but I have no interest in them as they were designed.
Are you really saying you would rather have female parts or you would be more interested your male parts if they were designed differently? Those are two different things. The former is a more common thought based on my observations about the posts here.
Nature has a sense of humor. Why would male sexual organs be on the outside of the body and unprotected? A two-year old could drop a linebacker with one good head butt or upper cut. My thinking is rapid retractability or a protective shell would be a better design.


I'm reluctant to crossdress until I can get to a point where I can look in the mirror and no longer see a man looking back.
What are you doing so there isn't a man looking back? Are you being realistic? I'm assuming most CDs would love to see a completely feminine image in the mirror, but for most that is not doing to happen unless hormones and major surgery are involved. In some cases, even that does not result in a complete transformation. Setting a goal is great, but it has to be reachable and not a source of frustration or depression if it is not reached. Be the best that you can be. If your best is looking like a Victoria's Secret model - that's wonderful; if not, embrace whatever it is and be happy because wishing and wanting anything more is an exercise in futility and disappointment. Keep working at finding and improving your look. It is a process and continuous journey, not something that happens overnight or with a quick few lessons on how to look and feel feminine. Enjoy each lesson and step along the way, and find joy in each improvement that you achieve. Sometimes over-thinking things can be a hinderance to progress and growth.

[Marleena]

The questions seem quite normal for a TG person as it can be very confusing. As for #3 you might be a bit of a perfectionist in the way you look, not a big deal as long as you get to a comfortable point eventually. As GM's we have to work with what we have and that can be a struggle. As for the testosterone level Karren is correct it needs to be checked for other medical issues.

[kimdl93]

I will tread very lightly around giving medical advice. If you're medical professional feels your t levels are low enough to be causing health concerns, and recommends supplementation, then I wouldn't hesitate. I doubt that the recommended level of supplemental testosterone would be sufficient to cause you to bulk up or to alter your mind.

[Debra Russell]

High testosterone or low-- the urge, and want too is even worse with high than low--it is what it is, if you have a need to dress it is always with you................Debra

[docrobbysherry]

#3 is a BIG ONE for me, 3W's! Probably the most motivating factor in my dressing! In fact, at the very beginning I was ready to quite dressing because of my, "man in a dress" look! It was only after I quite seeing him that I became SERIOUS about dressing!

[whowhatwhen]

Thank you all so much for the replies, I will attempt to clarify a few things.

Testosterone:
Maybe it's an ungrounded/uneducated fear, the feeling that supplementing it would make me look more masculine, and that's not something I want.

#3:
Might be a self-esteem issue as well as it's hard to look at myself now.



Are you really saying you would rather have female parts or you would be more interested your male parts if they were designed differently?


This is one thing that confuses me the most.
I don't like my male parts, but I don't hate them either if that makes sense.

I can put it this way, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seriously desired "using" them.
This is even more strange considering that I'm BI with a preference toward women.

How many women would be with a guy that doesn't care/want to do anything with his stuff?
The desire isn't there, if that makes any sense.

Thanks for letting me vent my crazy. :)

[IamSara]

1. Karren is correct a low t level is not something to be messed around with.
2. I also am not a fan of my male parts. I do enjoy using them but love the look of a woman's parts much better. I would prefer to have the female parts but I guess that is why I am who I am.
3. As others have said you have to get to the point of where you are comfortable with who you are and what you look like. Most of us are not stunningly beautiful as some women are. I would also say that about some women but they are beautiful in their own right as we are in ours. It is about what we view ourselves as, beautiful is not just what the tv, magazines and others try to tell us what beautiful should be.

[Foxglove]

I don't like my male parts, but I don't hate them either if that makes sense.

Thanks for letting me vent my crazy. :)

I think perhaps a lot of people on this forum feel much the same way, as IamSara has indicated. I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but I myself very much dislike my male parts. I don't know that I hate them, but I'm certainly not proud of them the way some guys are.

And I don't think you're saying anything crazy, either. It sounds to me like you're asking the sort of questions people in our position ask. It seems to me there's a lot of things you need to get sorted out in your own mind, but you've got lots of company there.

[Clueless]

I'm just curious because I keep thinking things that I assume no one normal would.

Example 1:
If I were tested and found to have low testosterone, I'm not sure I would want to "fix" it.
Likely I would find reasons to stall under the guise of "research".

Example 2:
I'm not a fan of my male parts.
I don't hate them, but I have no interest in them as they were designed.

Example 3:
I'm reluctant to crossdress until I can get to a point where I can look in the mirror and no longer see a man looking back.

Although I wonder if it may be possible that repressing myself causes more normal, simpler feelings to explode.

<3

1) Depending on your age low testosterone levels can be a good thing. AFAIK high levels causes early onset hair loss (balding head) & prostrate cancer. As long as all my body parts work, I'd rather have a lower level. Hair loss & cancer don't sound very fun. Doesn't Mother nature let guys know every morning if their T level is OK?

2) Don't know about that. I don't really think about them that much, as long as they work all is good. I couldn't image not having them. I guess if you could temporally remove them for Cding that would be an advantage. I wonder if John Hall is a Cder? Nice band name.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDss8V2OME4

3) I don't know, never tried other than for Halloween & didn't care then. Not going to even try unless I get down to around 150 lbs. Hard to work with a body height size that's outside of the normal female height size bell curve.

[whowhatwhen]

<3 All.

I feel less crazy after getting some of those things off my mind.
It's hard to keep these feelings bottled up when you have no one you can trust with them, a position I know most of you have known.

Looking at my life so far, things would've made a lot more sense had I been born female but like all of the other things on my mind the answers to those questions should come in time.

[Frédérique]

Example 1:
If I were tested and found to have low testosterone, I'm not sure I would want to "fix" it.
Likely I would find reasons to stall under the guise of "research".

Example 2:
I'm not a fan of my male parts.
I don't hate them, but I have no interest in them as they were designed.

Example 3:
I'm reluctant to crossdress until I can get to a point where I can look in the mirror and no longer see a man looking back.

1. Since I’ve been on this site I have a new “appreciation” for testosterone, if you can call it that. However, like you, I would not do anything about having low testosterone, since I equate the latter with unwanted male behavior (I’m prejudiced in this matter)...

2. I AM a fan of my male parts, but it’s a case of becoming acclimatized to the situation...

3. You need to use your imagination... :battingeyelashes:


Looking at my life so far, things would've made a lot more sense had I been born female but like all of the other things on my mind the answers to those questions should come in time.

This is what you have to work with – would it make more “sense” if you had not been born at all? Being a male, and having the opportunity to crossdress (as I see fit), is a blessing of sorts...

PS – These ARE normal thoughts! :)

[docrobbysherry]

---------------------------------------------------------
3. You need to use your imagination... :battingeyelashes:------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, I'm MALE, Freddie! I don't have an imagination when it comes to looking at women. I either find them attractive or I don't! If Sherry looks male, I'm OUT! I'm just lucky I'm so darn NEAR SIGHTED! Lol!

[prene]

All those thoughts are normal for me.

But #3.

i dress and continue to dress to look more like a gg. My goal. LOL

[Josephine]

I also think that all 3 questions are normal for us Cd's. As far as number 3, my girlfriend says that everyone is there own worst enemies when they look at themselves in the mirror. Being a cross dresser, I do know that I am probably way to critical of my looks, as my girlfriend says. There is also the thing about attitude, if I feel like I look good, it really reflects on how I really look.
Josephine

[whowhatwhen]

I thought #2 would be the most uncommon but it seems like a lot of others agree.
Would you really tell your SO "I'm not a fan of my penis and I'd rather not use it."?

Again, it's not hating it but seeing it as more of a parlour trick.

[Christinedreamer]

As one who has extremely low testosterone that has been supplemented first with daily injections then with Androgel, I can tell you this. Low T can cause a whole rash of health issues such as weight gain, loss of strength, loss of mental acuity, decreased sex drive, and numerous other issues including cardiac. When I started the T supplements (doc's RX only) after about 2 weeks i realized I felt much better in general and there was no additional masculinization. AMF, my boobs got bigger which can be a side effect of T treatments.

The injections are not that easy for those who have a phobia about needles as they are large diameter and the viscosity of the T supplement is about that of baby oil so an injections takes several seconds. The Androgel smells like Purell hand sanitizer and is simply smeared all over your shoulder or abdomen and it is absorbed through the skin. Bother are rather expensive. (250.00/month average.)