The stupid little things

[Bree-asaurus]

This is gonna sound really weird... but even though I've had no problem being myself in public for quite some time, I've never been confident enough to wear a skirt or dress. I can go pretty much anywhere and be cool and confident, but I'm always in jeans or capris or something like that. I've always been too scared to wear a skirt or a dress.

Well, Sunday I had a "Lost Souls" Christmas party at my apartment and wore a skirt for the first time. Today, I'm going out in a dress for the first time.

I guess that even though I've gotten used to presenting as a girl in public, I'm still adjusting to presenting as a girly-girl or something... I dunno. I guess I classify skirts and dresses as far more feminine than makeup and cute earrings and boobs :P

I just wanted to share my stupid little hurdles. I find them entertaining :P

[Jorja]

We all have "stupid" little things that hold us back. Yours happens to be wearing skirts and dresses. Once you do it and concur your fears you will wonder what took you so long.

[Michelle James]

It was almost 6 months of presenting as female 100% of the time before I got up the nerve to wear a skirt in public. I'm not sure why I found it so intimidating. Once I got over that it seemed like a normal thing to do even if I am a large blob of goo LOL. I started wearing a skirt or a summer dress about once maybe twice a week. For no particular reason. I've been back to pants lately because I threw my back out putting on a pair of tights. Can you believe that? I didn't even know that could happen. LOL

[Jean Marie]

Guess I am the opposite. I have never worn pants, would never dream of wearing pants. To me its one of the privileges being a lady, GG, CD, TG

[Traci Elizabeth]

This is gonna sound really weird... but even though I've had no problem being myself in public for quite some time, I've never been confident enough to wear a skirt or dress. I can go pretty much anywhere and be cool and confident, but I'm always in jeans or capris or something like that. I've always been too scared to wear a skirt or a dress.

Well, Sunday I had a "Lost Souls" Christmas party at my apartment and wore a skirt for the first time. Today, I'm going out in a dress for the first time.

I guess that even though I've gotten used to presenting as a girl in public, I'm still adjusting to presenting as a girly-girl or something... I dunno. I guess I classify skirts and dresses as far more feminine than makeup and cute earrings and boobs :P


I just wanted to share my stupid little hurdles. I find them entertaining :P




Guess I am the opposite. I have never worn pants, would never dream of wearing pants. To me its one of the privileges being a lady, GG, CD, TG





I'm actually like both of you if that makes sense. I love wearing skirts and dresses with heels but at the same breath, I am just as comfortable with tight fitting jeans especially those that are stretch tight against your lower body and low cut tops. I love showing cleavage and since I am 5' 7" at 128 with a 36C bust, my boobs really stick out there and I look best in tight fitting clothes. It all depends if I want to be classy sexy or naughty sexy as to which I wear.

I will let your imagination wonder.

[Jason+]

Bree_K,

It doesn't sound stupid or little to me at all. I do wear both skirts and dresses out but often find myself leaning more towards the skirt out of feeling like a dress is somehow pushing the boundary further than the skirt is.

[Starling]

A dress that fits well is the most comfortable and flattering garment there is. I think I'll go and change.

:) Lallie

[Melody Moore]

I have noticed that a few trans girls go through this phase of only wearing pants or jeans.
However I cannot say that wearing a dress or a skirt has really been an issue for me. I must
say from a practical point of view though that wearing dresses or skirts is definitely a lot more
comfortable than hot jeans when you live in the tropics.

I really don't know how you can classify skirts and dresses as far more feminine than makeup,
cute earrings and boobs. I don't think it makes any difference really, put on dress or a skirt &
noone else ever notices anything out of place. Maybe a few of your close friends might notice
it at first if they are so use to seeing you in jeans, however, noone is going to give two hoots
about you wearing a dress or a skirt if that is what worries you.

But pants, jeans, dresses or skirts, none is anymore feminine
than the other, just wear whatever feels the most comfortable.

[Bree-asaurus]

I have noticed that a few trans girls go through this phase of only wearing pants or jeans.
However I cannot say that wearing a dress or a skirt has really been an issue for me. I must
say from a practical point of view though that wearing dresses or skirts is definitely a lot more
comfortable than hot jeans when you live in the tropics.

I really don't know how you can classify skirts and dresses as far more feminine than makeup,
cute earrings and boobs. I don't think it makes any difference really, put on dress or a skirt &
noone else ever notices anything out of place. Maybe a few of your close friends might notice
it at first if they are so use to seeing you in jeans, however, noone is going to give two hoots
about you wearing a dress or a skirt if that is what worries you.

But pants, jeans, dresses or skirts, none is anymore feminine
than the other, just wear whatever feels the most comfortable.

Yeah, I didn't say it was rational... just one of those crazy things my mind concocts.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Bree!

Since I went from not wearing anything to going out dressed in a skirt or dress, nylons or tights, make-up, and wig. I prefer skirts and dresses to jeans. I feel sexier and more feminine in them, jeans remind me of who I had to be for 43 years. Maybe that will change over time in transitioning or after, but for now don't want them.

Hugs

[sandra-leigh]

My realization that I was a cross-dresser, that I wanted to dress in female clothes, was fairly sudden (after years of not realizing why I was "trying on" all those clothes "to see how they would look on my wife" :facepalm: ). Less than 3 weeks later I was out in public at a major mall in a skirt.

In the time before I got my forms and first wig, I would sometimes go out in public in a skirt or dress, but only in crowds (as in "lost in the crowd") or at a distance from people, such as taking a walk at night or at dusk. I suppose I must have interacted with some sales clerks, but "no one I know" and not personal interaction.

Once I had my wig, I would go about in a skirt or dress much more openly and interact with people and go places closer to home. The person presenting was plausibly-deniably "me" and I could be safe in my anonymity.

What did take me a fair while to build up to was going out in public openly in a skirt and top, or dress "as myself", no wig, very light makeup, "me" wearing female clothes and interacting with people. Yes, I had done some of that at the beginning, but it wasn't the same somehow. I had to challenge myself to go out "as me", as a public cross-dresser, a male "owning" the cross-dressing and not "wearing a disguise" or a long jacket. Walking out of the house already dressed, taking the bus, going to places I was known, knowing for sure that people would know who I was.

Going out in a skirt was always easier for me. A plain denim skirt especially is practically jeans or jean-shorts, nothing anyone would particularly notice or care about -- tantamount to men's-wear around here. Going out in a dress, though... that was a challenge, as dresses are Not Male, and it was not easy to admit to the world at large that "I" wear female clothes.

A dress shouts "female clothing" according to my inner censor; some kinds of skirts do too, it says -- but my inner censor also says that more sedate skirts can sometimes be just unusual clothing that aren't really "non-male". I never said my inner censor was logical or consistent :D

Things are different now, but during that phase in my life, I did certainly find excuses not to go out in skirts or dresses but without wig, to postpone my self-challenge, to postpone "getting used to it" or "seeing how I like it"

Makeup and cute earrings and boobs (well, forms) -- yup, easier for me to deal with, because they are less exclusively gender specific around here. (Boobs, okay, not so common, but moobs are a fact of life and I've seen some guys around with much bigger moobs than my boobs will ever be. Besides, with forms it usually mostly looked like I had a thicker chest unless I specifically wore something designed to conform to the bust.) My brain does tell me that a dress is "very female" in a way that those other things do not.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Bree, first of all, congratulations on overcoming the confidence problem that had held you back from wearing a skirt or a dress :hugs:

I guess I am the opposite in that I have difficulty wearing any jeans or trousers which are not overtly feminine, probably because they still remind me too much of my years of denial. I think I understand what you mean about girly-girl because that is exactly how several of my friends describe me.

[Hope]

It isn't so much weird, as it is perhaps unusual... but we all have little demons and little fears we much fight and concur, things that we have to let go of, and things we have to learn to embrace along this path that dredge up surprising little bits of fear based on previous experiences or... whatever.

I had one about wearing girl shoes. I had (maybe still have though i think it is mostly vanquished) about using a real girl voice (despite spending the last 6 months DILIGENTLY working on it - I didn't realize that I was being blocked by a weird fear of sounding like a girl - DUH)

The good thing is that in my experience, once you have identified the fear, and identified the source of the fear (where it comes from or what it is actually about) you are about 85% done dealing with it.

[Melody Moore]

So when are we going to get a photo Bree?

You remember Andrea from here don't you? She is another girl who also recently
found the joys of wearing skirts and dresses. She posted a photo and got great
feedback on it on FB. So I think you will as well hun, so just go for it! :)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

thats exactly what goes through my mind too...

its a coincidence that i went to a party last nite and at the last minute decided to get totally dressed up for no reason...
I even wore heels!!

LOL...i'm back in sweats and sneaks now though!!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Bree,

I speak truth when I say your beautiful.

I'm absolutely certain that wearing a dress/skirt and heels in public would not only look completely natural on you, you would also be noticed for being as beautiful as you are.

You know I'm right.


Julia

[Starling]

...A dress shouts "female clothing" according to my inner censor; some kinds of skirts do too, it says -- but my inner censor also says that more sedate skirts can sometimes be just unusual clothing that aren't really "non-male"...My brain does tell me that a dress is "very female"...


...I had one about wearing girl shoes...

I believe androgyny attracts attention. I want my clothing and shoes to shout "female", in order to drown out the aspects of my appearance which can mumble "male". I'm in this to be treated as a woman.

Please note I did not say "hooker" or "teenager". I dress the age I appear to be, which I admit was a lot more cute when I was twenty-five.

:) Lallie

[gabimartini]

Somethings may sound "stupid" to other people, but if they have a meaning to you, that's what matters. Each step of the way is to be celebrated, big or small, "stupid" or not. My two cents.

[Frances]

I only wear a dress during the Holidays (office party, family gathering). However well I pass in every day life, my confidence goes down in a dress. I feel like I'm cross-dressing for some reason. You are not the only one. My leg muscles are still too big from all that biking as a kid. Since SRS, however, my body has been changing a lot. I may feel different a year from now.

[StaceyJane]

Wearing skirts in public is one of my favorite things. I love it and after years of denial i'm so amazed that I can do it without any problems.

[Stephenie S]

Would it surprise you, my dear, to learn that many natal women also feel self conscious in a dress? Tis the truth.

Women are not all the same. Women come in all shapes and sizes. Women also come in all forms of psychological weirdness, just like men. I know several women friends who don't even own a dress, much less wear one. I don't wear dresses myself, although I do have two dresses hanging in my closet. I wear skirts, though, and love them. Don't ask me how many skirts are in my closet. I don't know.

Stephie

[Monica93304]

Hi Bree. I'm sure you wear a dress and/or skirts well. You're a gorgeous gal.

I'm not full time, and even though I can wear jeans well, I prefer dresses and skirts. Maybe it's because of so many years (35+) of denying myself and also because of my work (auto mechanic) that I feel the need to be a polar oposite when I present as female. Also, I've always worn 5" heels because it helps my posture. I'm just not ready for flats. I most likely will have to do flats often when I go full time.

Last night I helped a handicapped friend by taking him grocery shopping. I wore a dark red tight fitting blouse and a black skirt above the knee with my favorite 5" slingbacks. My friend said that I presented as a professional gal that just got off from work. That was my plan. Got a few looks, mostly smiles...

Hopefully you can have more fun with wearing skirts and dresses at work or normal socializing. I think you'll find it accelerating and rewarding with compliments.

Love,

Monica.

[Hope]

I only wear a dress during the Holidays (office party, family gathering). However well I pass in every day life, my confidence goes down in a dress.

Seriously? My confidence goes right down the crapper in pants.

I go out in jeans all the time, knowing that a skirt would be too much for a trip to the grocery store... but I feel much more sure of myself in a dress or a skirt.

[sandra-leigh]

Today was the first day in... months... when I put on a dress for reasons other than my monthly social group meeting or one of my gender-related appointments.

It was a Christmas-green velvet dress. I took it to work and put it on just before leaving; and then I left, heading through the busy mall nearby, over to the bank, then got a manicure in a salon which had 8 customers on the go, then bussed to a mall near home, shopped at the busy book-store, bought groceries, took a bus towards home; and then stopped in the mom-and-pop store on the corner -- with red nails, green dress, authentic bust, and very feminine jacket.

The hard parts:


I had to go past the security desk at work. One of the guards knows about my dressing but had never seen me wear a dress or skirt before. The other (a friendly GG there on fill-in these days but a few years ago used to be full time) did not know. I stopped and talked to them for a good five minutes on the way out, without them noticing as the desk blocked the way, but then I had to walk out the front door right in their sight lines, with the dress definitely visible as I walked out. It is always unnerving to dress obviously the first time in front of someone who Knows You! (I think I'm probably in for some questions the next time the GG works there :o )
After I'd already walked through the busy mall and was waiting to cross the road, I realized my dress wasn't straight at the back; tugging on it didn't seem to fix it. After a bunch of attempts, I realized that my dress was hiked up to the level of my underwear! :eek: The jacket was a bit below that level (I hope!) but still :o Having just walked through a busy mall with my dress all the way up to there was harder to deal with than the fact I was wearing a dress.
Shortly after I got through at the bank, I realized that as I walked, the lining of my coat was catching the fabric of my dress in such a way that every time I took a step, my dress hiked up further in the back! Oh great, I get to look forward to more embarrassment...
Although the mom-and-pop proprietors have seen me in a skirt or dress a couple of times before, I still find it a bit uneasy to go in there that way. We live close enough to the store that they know me, know my wife, know my mother-in-law...


The hard part for me isn't wearing the dress out in public: the hard part is taking it to the people who are "closer" to me. It is not easy to risk the relationship with "friends" and of friendly neighbors.

[Bree-asaurus]

Well I went with some family and friends to go see the Trans Siberian Orchestra last night. Wore a skirt and tights and it was super cool :D

I think I'm over the skirt fear... now it's just adjusting to heels and dresses :P Finding dresses that fit me is hard, but when they fit, I think I'll be okay.

Heels are the real killer... walking through the crowd at the AT&T center... I was the ONLY girl my height... standing over the rest of the crowd... in flat boots. I friggin love heels... they are super cute and make my feet look smaller and work with skirts and dresses better than flats... but add even more inches to my already towering height... *sigh*

EDIT: On another note... it's really cool that I have more family now :D Nick's family :D :D :D

[Postopadmirer]

Bree,

Thanks for the updates. You give hope to folks such as myself.
You have come a long way in two years.
Wendy