Bit of serious stuff ....

[Sister Rachel]

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

[RachelOKC]

...so what's your point?

What about cisgendered women who can't "menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth"? Are they pretending at being women?

[Eryn]

When I go to a restaurant I enjoy a meal without preparing it. That doesn't mean that I'm pretending to eat.

I'm expressing myself in the way I desire when I dress. No pretending there.

[Sister Rachel]

I don't know. That's why I'm asking what others think?

I'll check that out, Scarlet Rose! Thankyou :) Goodnight all for now x

[Julia_in_Pa]

I'm intersexed, I'm sterile, I dont menstruate and obviously haven't given birth.
I have functioning male genitalia, partial fallopian tube development and ovaries.

I've lived for over five years as my true self.

Am I pretending as well? See my point?


Julia



We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

[Tracii G]

I'm not pretending its just who I am.I quit trying to hide it.

[BRANDYJ]

I never pretend to be me. I am who and what I am. Two sides of me. No, I am not pretending.

[Cynthia Anne]

I got tired of pretending to be a male! Go figure! Hugs!

[Senneca]

fall pregnant? How does one do this? Does one simply fall down in a certain manner? How far must one fall to become pregnant? These are some of the questions this thread causes me to ponder......

[Babeba]

Crap... Now I have to be careful not to fall?? :)

All teasing aside, I think it takes a lot of navel gazing to figure out where one is on the soectrum of gender and the spectrum of sexuality. I also think if you don't lose sight of where you are from and where you feel you ought to be, that helps too. I am a gg (cisgendered, genetically born female) and the only time I mind a bit of 'pretending' is when someone who cross dresses tries to pass themselves off as being a GG. I mean, really... Be proud of who you are, not who you wish you had been or you'll waste so much time and energy on bitter regret. For example: one of our members, Zenith, has recently been sharing her journey with FFS surgery on the TS board... And she just knocks my socks off! She looks so pretty , and if she were to try and tell everyone now she was really a GG (especially on this board where we are all in this together, I totally understand how stealth can be safer and easier for transwomen) I would be mad... More because that denies the very things that make her who she is as a whole person, and as a woman. Fortunately Julie isn't like that, she knows who she is and where she is coming from. That awareness is key.

[Beverley Sims]

Angela,
Welcome to the group,
There are a lot of varied answers here.
Work your way back through the last 200 threads and you might find something that was not covered.
Steer away from the philosophical questions and just ask please How do I do that successfully.
Help and good advice is out there.
I am having fun spreading graffiti everywhere and I am also a newbie.
Don't give anyone a reason to pick on you.
Above all don't get serious YET!
To answer your question.
NO.

[Beverley Sims]

You have a street named after you in Seattle.
I stayed in a hotel there a couple of times last month. Quality Inn Senneca St Seattle.
I don't know how to fall pregnant, that would be the subject of a new thread.
I do know the best contraceptive is NO!
Uses a lot of will power or is it won't power

[suchacutie]

Pretending what? I can never be a GG, so let's get that behind us.

We are transgendered, and that's a broad spectrum, but what's common among us is that some part of our being is feminine. It's not pretend, it IS feminine. It's the way our brain functions. What we are doing is living out what our brains tell us is correct for us.

I believe that most here would agree that denying that femininity could be considered pretending, but that's about it in the pretending category.

tina

[Maria 60]

That's alright, but i am having a hell of a lot of fun pretending.

[countrygirl]

I do not considering my crossdressing pretending. I consider this a very serious and real part of me to dress as a female.

[Melody1985]

I understand the question you have.. But seriously, the word "pretending" was a poor choice of words to use in this forum. As soon as I read your question, I was sure I knew what the responses would be.

Fact is that most CDers are living out what they feel is their true nature or part of their true nature. Similar to how a person would give generously to someone in need because they are a giving person by nature. So CDers are just being themselves essentially. And you can not tell someone that they are pretending unless you can read their mind and heart. If you simply want to point out that males can never be a genetic female, then that may be different...

Now for those who do it for simple amusement ie. Halloween or for a drag show.. Those guys are pretending

[ArleneRaquel]

I know crossdressing is a very vital part of my way of life.

[Karren H]

I pretended to have a baby.... After I ate a mess of mexican food!! Damn babys smell!! Lol.

[Kari Lynn Franks]

I pretended to have a baby.... After I ate a mess of mexican food!! Damn babys smell!! Lol.

only you would think that up my wife swears that I have my week of the month.lol

[Karren H]

only you would think that up my wife swears that I have my week of the month.lol

Thought I had a baby bump going today but realized it was all the holiday food I've eaten! Lol.

[Barbara Ella]

Pretending may have been a poor choice of words. No one here is pretending. Pretending is what they are doing on that new ABC "comedy" about two female impersonator crap. We are living out what is inside of us, with no pretensions of grandeur. There may be a variety of levels of expectation within each of us, but I know who I am, what I am, and what I want to do, so I do it. It centers me it keeps me going. for that reason alone, I will continue to pretend to be happy.

Babes

[Jonianne]

I wrote a whole thread on the fact we are pretending. So.....yes!.....

I'm sorry to hear you are just pretending, Rose.


We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

I don't pretend like I menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So I guess I'm not pretending. I'm just being me, a guy who likes to identify with females by wearing some of MY feminine cloths.

[Marleena]

Uhoh here we go again.:)

I can't/don't want to menstruate because I'm a GM.

I can't/don't want to give birth because I'm a GM.

Finally I do not not know what it means to be a real woman because I'm a GM. I sure hope I'm not pretending because my brain keeps telling me to dress, act, and be myself which happens to be a woman without an instruction manual.:) I'm trying my best with what I have and don't have.

[Samantha_Smile]

Who the hell said anything about pretending?
I have no illusions of being a girl, and honestly, I am thankful I am not - From my POV, they have plenty of shit to deal with.
Im happy to just feel femme for a day, or is there a new rule I have to pretend now too?

I like the clothes, not the fantasy. It may be different from a TG/TS POV but from my CD view, no thanks
If the dress fits...

[KellyJameson]

I'm not pretending, I'm reacting and here is why.....


Question: What are the five most prominent qualities of highly sensitive boys?

Dr. Zeff: Approximately twenty percent of the population is highly sensitive and the trait is equally divided between males and females. In other words, approximately twenty percent of all males are highly sensitive, or one out of every five boys has a finely tuned nervous system.

A highly sensitive boy has trouble screening out stimuli and can be easily overwhelmed by noise, crowds and time pressure. The highly sensitive boy (HSB) tends to be very sensitive to pain and violent movies. He may also be made extremely uncomfortable by bright lights, strong smells and changes in his life.

The highly sensitive boy generally reacts more deeply and exhibits more emotional sensitivity than the non-HSB. However, the degree of emotional and physiological reactions varies in each boy.

Most sensitive boys tend to pause to reflect before acting and would not be considered risk-takers. This tendency can easily be understood as demonstrating a healthy caution.
The HSB is conscientious, sensitive to his environment, and socially aware of others around him. Although many cultures tend to categorize sensitive boys as being unusual or not normal, the trait is basically neutral.


Question: Do you think it’s more difficult to be a sensitive boy than girl?


Dr. Zeff: There are many more challenges for HSBs than HSGs (highly sensitive girls) due to societal values that males should be aggressive, thick-skinned, and emotionally self-controlled, which is the antithesis of a highly sensitive boy.

Most boys are taught from an early age to act tough and repress their emotions. Whenever boys do not conform to the “boy code” and instead show their gentleness and emotions, they are usually ostracized and humiliated. If boys express emotions such as fear, anxiety, or sadness, they are commonly seen as feminine, and frequently the adults and other children in their lives typically treat them as though these emotions are abnormal for a boy.

Given our societal norms, it may come as a surprise that one study showed that baby boys cry more than baby girls when they are frustrated; yet by the age of five, most boys suppress all their feelings except anger. The effect on males of having to conform to wearing a tough-guy mask creates suffering on both a personal and societal level and is particularly devastating for the sensitive boy, who has to try harder than the average boy to repress his emotions.

Since the eighty percent of non-HSBs are hardwired neurologically to behave in a different manner than the twenty percent of HSBs, highly sensitive boys do not fit in with the vast majority of boys. As they grow and become socialized, they begin to see their innate gentleness, emotionality, and tendency toward overstimulation as abnormal and wrong.

Question: Could you give us five ways our boys can use their sensitivity to their advantage?

Dr. Zeff: In my study of thirty sensitive men from five different countries, all of the HSMs (highly sensitive males) in my survey indicated that throughout their life they “usually” or “always” have been: creative, compassionate, intuitive, gentle, responsible, a peacemaker, and good at counseling people. HSBs share these traits with such famous highly sensitive males as Abraham Lincoln; the great psychologist Carl Jung, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and with many of the great male spiritual teachers.

Sensitive boys have a proclivity toward deep spiritual experiences which helps them find peace and stability, as well as a stronger sense of their own value and purpose. When HSBs work in conditions that suit their sensitivity in school, they often produce better quality work due to their careful, creative, and conscientious temperament.

The HSB’s intuition and ability to notice subtleties in the environment helps strengthen their relationships. The HSB’s sensitivity may help them have a better tactile sense than non-HSBs, which gives an advantage when a delicate touch is needed such as performing tasks that require refined movement and dexterity. Sensitive boys also experience deep joy from their involvement in the arts and creative endeavors, such as listening to or making music.

In order for a society to function at an optimal level, there has to be a balance between the highly sensitive male (HSM) and non-HSM styles. While non-HSMs will be found among soldiers and chief executive officers of large corporations, and the HSMs will more often be counselors, artists, and healers, I think HSMs can function in almost any occupation so long as they do it their way, thoughtfully and without unnecessary aggression. The point is, societies that ultimately succeed and flourish are the ones that honor both the aggressive warriors and the sensitive advisers. The sensitive male has an important mission, which is to balance the aggressive behavior of some nonsensitive males who treat humans, animals, and Mother Nature in a callous fashion.

Question: Are there differences in the manner sensitive boys are treated in different cultures?

Dr. Zeff: While biological factors may influence the behavior of boys, what a particular society values is an equally important factor in determining how the sensitive boy is treated. For example, a study of Canadian and Chinese school children concluded that highly sensitive children in Canada were the least liked and respected, while Chinese sensitive children were the most popular.

The HSMs in my study from India, Thailand, and most HSMs from Denmark stated that they were never or rarely teased at school for their sensitivity which differed from the malicious and cruel taunting that many HSBs experienced in North America. Sensitive boys growing up in Denmark, Thailand, and India had less difficult experiences about participation in team sports than those from North America.

The sensitive men who were raised in India and Thailand were more likely to have more friends as boys than those raised in Denmark or North America, perhaps since most Asian countries are more communally oriented than the individualistic Western countries.

In countries like India and Thailand, where the positive attributes of sensitive males are recognized, the HSB is often given a leadership position, since others recognize his innate ability to help achieve the group’s goals. The sensitive male in many cultures has been recognized as an “intuitive priestly advisor” and has historically been granted special status for helping the community thrive.

The HSMs from Thailand and India and most of the men from Denmark reported that their teachers treated them with respect and kindness. This is in stark contrast to many of the HSMs who attended public
school in North America and reported that teachers frequently shamed them for their sensitivity.

Crossdressing for me is an extension of this sensitivity. It is illusion in response to reality

[ReineD]

There are several components to gender:

1. Your biological reality (chromosomes, primary & secondary sexual characteristics)
2. Your gender identity (who you feel you are internally, even if it is a mix of the two)
3. Your preferred gender role (personality, appearance, and behavioral characteristics that are designated as masculine or feminine in your culture)

4. And loosely related, your sexual preference (same sex, opposite sex, both, or neither)

For most people, the first three components match in addition to being opposite sex attracted (but not necessarily :p).

The first three components don't exactly match to varying degrees for people in this community.

Therefore, if you honor the second component (your internal gender identity) by dressing, then you are not pretending. You are presenting the way you feel you are inside (even if it fluctuates). If this does not match your biological reality (either sometimes or all the time) then you can choose to look at it one of two ways:

1. You are pretending if you call yourself a natal female (this is the way I take it that you mean)

2. Or, you can choose to identify as a crossdresser or a transwoman in which case you won't be pretending because you won't be calling yourself a natal female. This, I believe, is a more accurate way of looking at it.

Caveat: there are transwomen who cannot have SRS, yet they live and breathe full time as women just like the post-ops. In my view, these individuals deserve to call themselves women, and they are not pretending. The matter of non-matching chromosomes becomes a technical detail that the world does not need to know about (except of course their romantic partners).

:2c:

[Rianna Humble]

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

Hi Angela, bit of a thorny one so close to Xmas, but unlike some I will not criticise you for raising the question.

Your first reply mentioned cisgendered women who cannot do those things through no fault of their own and I would like to echo the point that your slightly over-simplistic statement would do them the injustice of classing them as "pretending" to be women.

Julia has made another valid point about someone who is intersex, but lives as a woman. They are no more pretending than a cisgendered woman who through no fault of her own cannot conceive.

If you are an MtF cross-dresser then your dressing expresses part of your character. The oft-expressed desire to "pass" in public should not be confused with a desire to pretend to someone that you were born female. In my opinion, the goal of "passing" for a cross-dresser is to be accepted by the public rather than to con someone about who you are.

It is slightly more complicated for us MtF transsexuals because we want to be seen as the woman that we should always have been and for us, the pretence was when we tried to conform to what our bodies made us appear to be. I now look on the times that I dressed as a man as being both cross-dressing and pretending because I was trying to make other people believe something that was not true about myself.

I think that this is similar to the point made by Babeba about not denying what makes you who you are, you will never be the same as a Genetic Girl in that you will forever have your past as a transgender person and that will have helped to form your character, but to me this is again different from saying that you are just pretending.

There is a very wide spectrum of gender identity which is not limited to 100% male or 100% female. my guess is that you are presently trying to work out where you fit in that spectrum.

[IamSara]

No pretending here. I am who I am, being a CD/TG is part of me. I spent many years trying to hide it from myself and everyone in my family. No more, I don't dress in front of anyone except my wife but they know. So nope no pretending here. Sometimes I wish it was that would make it so easy to explain.

[Paula_56]

A woman isn't a life support system for a vagina and womb

[lady di]

i am girly boy who likes dressing as girl i am not pretending that is who i am and i love being a sissy............................................. ...................di

[Marlana]

Karen, You crack me up!! Thank's! 😜

[NicoleScott]

I pretended to have a baby.... After I ate a mess of mexican food!! Damn babys smell!! Lol.

Update:
It was gas. Karren named her Ethyl.

[TGMarla]

If you want to define this whole thing as "pretending", fine. One could make that argument. But I feel like there's a whole lot more to it than simple pretending. When I was small, like all of us, I often pretended to be things I was not. But none of that held the deep-seeded want and need that crossdressing brings to the table. Little girls (and some boys) pretend to have tea parties. It's a fun little diversion that involves some imagination. Kids alway pretend like they're adults. But they're most often happy to remain kids for the time being. For me, this is more that I need to experience what life would have been like for me had I been born in the other gender. A part of me deeply wishes I'd had that privilege. It demands that I spend some of my time existing that way. None of the pretend games I played as a child, moving dirt with my way cool Tonka trucks, playing baseball imagining we were all big-leaguers, and building secret forts to "spy" on people, implanted themselves into my subconcious like this has. I had no real need to actually drive frontloaders, play professional baseball, or join the CIA. But for a long time, I really did wrestle with transgender feelings, and longed to be the woman I was not.

So to me, it's more than simple pretending. Yet, it is still only pretending in a sense, because I'm masquerading as someone I'm not. Or am I? I'm a crossdresser with an alter ego that I named "Marla", so when I'm all dressed up, I'm actually only being someone that is a part of who I am. So maybe this isn't pretending. It's manifesting.

[Badtranny]

This is a loaded question and the responses are typical but I can't help but notice a couple of things.
1. This is in the CD forum
2. Many CD's do in fact pretend a hell of a lot
3. Is there something wrong with pretending?

Personally I think pretending is the right and domain of a crossdresser. Do YOU pretend? Well be honest.
-Are you a CD that wears breast forms? Is that not pretending to have breasts?
-Do you wear a bra without forms? I will never understand why someone with nothing to support would wear a bra. How could that be called anything other than pretending?
-Do you sit down to pee, at home so you can "feel" more feminine? Isn't that pretending you don't have a penis?
-Do you talk or walk with exaggerated feminine gestures?
-Do you pretend to have a girls name?

There is soooooo much pretending involved in crossdressing that I'm shocked at the offense being taken. Now obviously I'm not including ALL CDs because they're not all the same but at least half of the CD population here has written something describing some kind of pretending. Some pretend more than others but there is certainly an element of pretension inherent in cross dressing, I don't think this is even arguable. I have a very close FtM CD friend who "packs" and uses fake facial hair sometimes. How can this not be considered pretending?

The question is; who cares and why deny it?

[Jonianne]

.....The question is; who cares and why deny it?

When asked my thoughts by the OP, I think it's the broad stroke that is painted of us all, that bothers me.

For all the years we did in fact pretend to NOT be cd or tg, I think it's understandable to be a little offended when it is declared we all are still considered pretenders. Especially when we have gone through so much anguish in denying, to get to the point of being able to be open with others in our lives, that we, as males, like to identify with females.

We don't pretend to be crossdressers, we are crossdressers.

To answer a few of your questions, no, I do not wear forms. No, I do not wear or have ever owned a bra. I do use the name Joni, but it is pronounced the same as Johnny, my real name, so I guess you might say I'm pretending there, depending if I am writing it or saying it.

Sure, everyone pretends some things in their lives, but it's what we own up to, that takes us from the world of pretending into the world of being real.

[ReineD]

1. This is in the CD forum
2. Many CD's do in fact pretend a hell of a lot
3. Is there something wrong with pretending?

Melissa, you know there is a huge spectrum among the CDers, from fetish dressers to identity dressers for whom this is more than fantasy dress-up. But, just because someone falls outside the full male/female binary doesn't mean they pretend. Some CDers actually do have opposite sex gender identification while also experiencing male identification. The male/female live side by side internally to varying and fluctuating degrees and this is why wearing the forms helps to bring them relief. These CDers are not wearing forms to pretend that they identify with a feminine gender, just because they are not willing to have breast implants or take HRT.

So we go back to my explanation in post #27. If the dressing (and the forms) help to bring someone in line with their gender identification even if this fluctuates, they are not pretending. They know they are wearing breast forms.

[Diana Bain]

"Pretend : to give a false appearance of being, possessing, or performing... to make believe." An hour to put on makeup and get dressed over and over again. When I look in the mirror, I'm Diana (my subconscious told me.):D

[Kristy_K]

I pretended for years when I was trying to be a male. That was a true pretending for me. Since I have transition I don't have to pretend any more or lie about me. All I have to do now is just be me.


Dare to be yourself, it is a lot of fun.

[Badtranny]

Reine, you know that I know that there are many stripes of TG people and that I have real life CD friends that I adore, so I am in no way coloring the whole of the CD community with my pretend paint brush. ;-)

Having said that, let's not pretend that there's not a whole lot of pretending going on around here. I mean come on, "I'm having mood swings", "I'm having male PMS", "I like to pretend I'm a woman during sex", "I like people to call me she even if they read me", "my fem side likes to dance", my fem side likes to cook and clean", "my fem side speaks with an accent", and on and on. Let's please not act like we don't read this stuff over and over. This is the truth.

There's just nothing wrong with it, that's all. Grown men spend crazy amounts of time playing in fantasy sports leagues, pretending to be owners or managers or whatever and some men pretend to be women, or sissies, or babies, or animals. Many BDSM practitioners literally pretend to be bound, when everyone knows they are one safe word away from being free. Pretending is an integral part of play and no rational person can argue that crossdressing isn't a form of adult play.

Now, owing to the quick to get offended nature of internet forums, I need to state again that there are plenty of CD's for whom this does not apply. Some men truly identify as something "other" and their cross dressing is an expression of something deeper than play. Based on the thousands of posts I've read in the last 3 years, these people are in the minority.

To Kristy and my other TS friends, this pretending discussion doesn't apply. The OP addressed CD'rs specifically and besides, TS people don't pretend. They live out in the wide open world and the only pretending I do, is pretend to be an executive at work. If someone would like to challenge my assessment that TS people live authentic rather than pretend lives, I would be happy to do that in another thread.

[ReineD]

Reine, you know that I know that there are many stripes of TG people and that I have real life CD friends that I adore, so I am in no way coloring the whole of the CD community with my pretend paint brush. ;-)

WELL! You know that I know that you know that I know .... lol.

Seriously, I misunderstood. You did say "many" and I missed that part. I agree that for some (or many?), the kick comes from pretending to be a woman, and I'm sure they'll be the first to tell you they're not ashamed of it. And I aggree with the mood swing and PMS nonsense. :p The term for males is "IMS" (http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=53725). However, for some people the divided personality traits I think comes from having deeply repressed a feminine ID for a long time and having had to build thick walls in order to protect her (even if the ID is partial), while for others, it is a kick to be "femmy" for a day.

But in terms of using female pronouns, then this is not pretending (for some. It may well be for others). My SO hates to be referred to as a "he" when she is dressed, and I don't blame her, which brings us back to non-binary-gender. Some crossdressers are bigender or dualgender.


Some men truly identify as something "other" and their cross dressing is an expression of something deeper than play. Based on the thousands of posts I've read in the last 3 years, these people are in the minority.

I suppose we are free to interpret this forum as we will. There's no real way to measure anything. But it's my impression there is more than a minority of identity crossdressers. I base this on real people that I've met as well, not just posts here. So maybe we can agree on 50/50. :)

[Beverley Sims]

Update:
It was gas. Karren named her Ethyl.

Now Now! Nicole That's too Subtle. Where do I send a bunch of flowers.
Psst. I like it.

[Kaz]

Hi Angela,

Welcome to the forum. As you will now realise this is one of those no doubt innocently written posts that manages to spark off a lot of controversy! It is all about the word 'pretend'. I support most of the posts here, but would like to make my point as it may help your understanding.

Some years ago after a lot of not understanding and even denying my real self, I finally accepted who I am and I am trying to learn more about me and to embrace my 'gifts'. So am I pretending to be me (now)? No... am I pretending to be Kaz? No.. Kaz is the female name I use to describe the part of me that desires to sometimes present as female in order to express this part of me. I find that has helped me enormously to come to terms with it all. Am I pretending to be a woman when I dress up like one? Am I pretending that Kaz is a woman?

Well, you could say yes to this. Kaz is not a real woman. Kaz is the expressed feminine side of a genetic male with (to my knowledge) no female anatomy/physiology (though I am not sure about the hormone balance). Do I pass myself off as a woman to others? i.e. do I pretend in this way? Well... on occasions I have been out fully dressed I have indeed tried to look as much like a woman as I can do with the aim of being accepted visually so that I am free to go about my business without feeling embarrassed and threatened. In other words, I just want to be able to experience wearing the clothes and feeling like Kaz in public. I post pictures here to get feedback on how I look and to help/inspire others if I get it right.

However, I have yet to pro-actively interact with anyone else as Kaz and have in that way never 'pretended' to be anything other than who I am. Were that to happen, I would be faced with an interesting challenge/dilemma. I have on occasions whilst being out had to respond to someone, but have tried to do so whilst maintaining the 'illusion'. Again, as Reine has mentioned, this has been to be able to continue uninterrupted and so as not to cause any issues. BUT... were I to find myself in a position where I had to 'fess up'... I would - in which case I loads of advice from the people here on how to maybe make that work OK.

Do I pretend to myself? No... I know who I am now and OK I fantasise about being a real woman at times but I am not fooling myself and have no desire to do so (although I may be fooling myself thinking I pass in public!). But am I pretending to be a woman in order to release and understand more of Kaz's/my feelings about this? Then I guess I am. Am I questioning my gender status? Always!

There are some here who are out and about in the real world, happy to live their lives as who they really are and being open and honest about it. I know some crossdressers in real life who are out, look like men in women's clothes and make-up and are open about it.. even using their male names rather than inventing a pseudnym. I know them well and they have my absolute respect, as do all the people on this site who are 'out'. I am not... so maybe I am pretending?

I choose to think that I am only pretending to myself, but only in order to better understand me. I do not pretend about who I am... I am actively trying to learn about who I am... and that is very different!

On this site, I do not pretend about anything... (well, at least not intentionally and accepting a certain 'fun margin'!). That is why I am here... This is a fantastic diverse bunch of people that it is a true joy to be able to interact with... do we all pretend?

[Raychel Torn]

Some of us are in different categories but as for me, I am not pretending to be a women, I am trying to be me, maybe for the first time.

[Cheryl T]

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

In your theory then a woman who is barren and unable to conceive is just pretending??
An athlete who because of her training does not menstruate is just pretending??
A woman who cannot carry a fetus to full term is just pretending??

Sounds very pretentious.

[ReineD]

In your theory then a woman who is barren and unable to conceive is just pretending??
An athlete who because of her training does not menstruate is just pretending??
A woman who cannot carry a fetus to full term is just pretending??

Sounds very pretentious.

Honestly, I think the OP's question is deeper than that. I'm reading between the lines here, but I take it the OP is questioning some inner changes. Perhaps he's moving from one phase to another and is wanting to reject it.

Of course, I could be wrong. :p

[Jorja]

Pretending? Yes, I pretend every day. I pretend that one day soon Scotty will get that da**ed transporter fixed and get me the he** out of here. I pretend that my banking account really has some money left in it. I pretend that a size 0 really will fit me. As for pretending I am a girl..... not a chance. It's real, it's da**ed real.

[Domenick]

But what each of us want is different.
Just sayin

[Kathy Smith]

Who the hell said anything about pretending?
I have no illusions of being a girl, and honestly, I am thankful I am not - From my POV, they have plenty of shit to deal with.
Im happy to just feel femme for a day, or is there a new rule I have to pretend now too?

I like the clothes, not the fantasy. It may be different from a TG/TS POV but from my CD view, no thanks
If the dress fits...


I couldn't agree more. How dare you read my mind? ;-)

"Pretending" was an unfortunate choice, Angela. Once you've been around here a bit longer you'll realise why. You'll also discover that there are a lot of reasons why some people dress in clothes of the opposite gender from what is considered "normal" in general society.

[Claire Cook]

Hmmm . as usual I'm confused. Menopausal women don't have periods, don't get pregnant. Women with mastectomies wear breast prostheses. Maybe I'm pretending that I'm a menopausal breast cancer survivor? Seriously, I'm me. When I'm out and about, I guess the only time I'm "pretending" is when I use the ladies' room, and that to me is a matter of convenience and comfort. Otherwise, if someone treats me as a woman, that's great, or as a guy in women's clothes, that's OK.

[Badtranny]

I suppose we are free to interpret this forum as we will. There's no real way to measure anything. But it's my impression there is more than a minority of identity crossdressers. I base this on real people that I've met as well, not just posts here. So maybe we can agree on 50/50. :)

Okay, point taken. (you are very good at forcing perspective) I have to admit that MOST of the CDs I know personally are well adjusted people who just happen to enjoy expressing themselves that way. I wouldn't say they were pretending at all, but these people aren't really a valid sampling of CD's because they are out for the most part, and I think the overwhelming majority of CD's are closeted or only out to wives and girlfriends.

If I am willing to agree that 50% of the CD's on this board are actually "identity" types, (and I think that's a stretch) can you agree that the other half are pretending and play acting? I mean really, the fact that we're even arguing about this is kinda bizarre.

In regard to the pronoun thing, it would be nice if everyone was politically correct, but I feel like people will respond to my presentation and I will just keep pushing until there is no doubt in their mind that I am female. Sure it's disconcerting to be read, I recently had a bit of a breakdown due to that very thing, but it is what it is. I'm not going to pretend that people see a woman when they don't, someday, it will be behind me. Until then, every failure is just another stone in the foundation of my success.

[Sister Rachel]

I really didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, or demean anyone :o. I should have phrased the question differently, perhaps?


From very early in my childhood, I felt an interest and affinity with the girl's side of things. I remember arguing with my parents and grandparents about which way round to wear my underpants .. I did not like the "Y fronts" which marked me out as a boy and wanted to reverse them so that they were smooth at the front. I was reprimanded at infant school for wanting to play with the girls in the "Wendy House".
I can now, some fifty years on, grasp the significance of overheard whispered adult conversations about how I would have been named Victoria, and it has recently struck me that when my grandmother painted my face, encouraged me to learn knitting and, believe it or not, gave me instruction on the best way to put on a bra ( theory not practical, I hasten to add .. start with it "upside down, inside out and back-to-front, if you were wondering?) .. she had a bit of an insight into something! At about age seven, I had devised a way of fashioning my pyjama jacket into a makeshift skirt so that I could enjoy clandestinely, alone at home, doing handstands and having my "skirt" fall around my face like the girls at school did at playtime.

... sorry, this is turning into a big essay about myself which I'll continue later and elsewhere, it's irrelevant to this thread I was silly enough to start .. "where angels fear to tread, fools rush in", as they say ..:o

Briefly, as it's bedtime, all I was trying to say is that GGs (genetic girls ? have I got that right?) deal with issues that we non-GGs, however feminine, sympathetic and wise, just don't.

[Robin-in-TX]

We are not pretending. We are being who we are, which is different from GGs and different from your stereotypical male. I'm not offended. I just disagree, I'm not pretending, I'm just being me.

[Kelli Ca]

perfectly hapy pretending also getting to step back or stay in the role my choice

[Jonianne]

.....So maybe we can agree on 50/50. :)


Okay, point taken. (you are very good at forcing perspective)........If I am willing to agree that 50% of the CD's on this board are actually "identity" types, (and I think that's a stretch) can you agree that the other half are pretending and play acting? I mean really, the fact that we're even arguing about this is kinda bizarre......

I love seeing friends work things out and seek to put out fires, even if there is still some disagreement. This is how life should be.


I really didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, or demean anyone :o. I should have phrased the question differently, perhaps?.......Briefly, as it's bedtime, all I was trying to say is that GGs (genetic girls ? have I got that right?) deal with issues that we non-GGs, however feminine, sympathetic and wise, just don't.

I'm glad you came back to address this thread again. I certainly can agree with your last statement about GG's, that there are issues that we as CD'ers can never attain to, no matter how much we desire to be like them. I'm sorry for getting a little flushed.

[Ellyn]

I started to write a reply about this being silly, then I thoght for a moment, and decided that I would pretend I never read this thread.

[jillleanne]

We don't menstruate, fall pregnant or give birth. So we are just pretending.

Thoughts?

Pretending what? I have never professed to menstrate, fall pregnant, or have the ability to give birth. I pretend nothing, but I do express my feminine side when I want to as part of that expression. If someone I meet while en femme comes out and asks if I am a woman or a man, I would tell them I am a genetic man.