I think it may be time

[Nikki A.]

I've been debating for a long time on whether to tell my kids about my dressing or not. Both are away at college and are back on break for the holidays.
My son is oblivious, but my daughter is much more perceptive and has asked why my hands are basically hairfree and some other questions. Their mom passed away about 4 years ago, and this is the second year that they've both been away in college. I've really had a chance to explore my feelings and I find it very difficult to keep it a secret much longer.
Anyway I think that tommorrow will be the day I tell her. If not tommorrow it will probably not be till this summer, in that she'll be leaving next week to head back to school.

[Jonianne]

If you have had a good relationship with your daughter, I would imagine things will go well. They are certainly of age and if you are expanding your cd'ing, it's best that you tell them instead of them finding out in a negative way.

[cindy777]

Funny I was just thinking about this very topic today. I have two daughters but they are not in college for a few years yet. The youngest one I think would accept my dressing but not too sure about the oldest.

After you give this information to your children who are now grown up they will never think of you in the same way. This can be good and also has potiental to be disastarious. If this is something you feel you must tell them, try to tell them in an enviroment that may bring a positive outcome. Even if you can only tell your daughter for now this could be a great relief for you emotionally. But like anything so personal only you know when the right time to tell them.

Very sorry to hear about their mom passing. Hope everything works out well for you and your children.

Cindy

[Cynthia Anne]

Get er done! The more 'free' time you have you can bet the more obbious it's gonna' be! Hugs!

[Leeiah]

Nothing to worry about Nikki, you can do it. It takes alot of courage to do something like this.

[shybi]

hi nikki

i'm in the boat as you i have 3 daughters 17 20 and 22 all living at home, i,m finding it hard to find time on my own to dress as one of them all ways seems to be at home. the answer to tell them about but not sure how they will take


wendy xxx

ps hope it works out for you

[Karren H]

Get er done! !

Cynthia Ann the Cable Gal!! Lol.

[Sally24]

As you already note, at least one suspects something. The wondering can be worse than the knowing. I would reccomend telling them but only you can decide if its the right time. Good luck!

[Jenny Doolittle]

I am not going to tell you to or not to tell your kids....that is something you have to decide for yourself. I will only ask the question, For who are you telling the kids, is it for you or for them? I think the real reason you would want to tell any family member or friend is so that it brings you closer together.

[Marleena]

My kids are both in their twenties and married. I have not told them since I feel they don't need to deal with it. If they suspected something or asked me then I would tell them.
My SO and one GG friend know and that's it.

[Foxglove]

I am not going to tell you to or not to tell your kids....that is something you have to decide for yourself. I will only ask the question, For who are you telling the kids, is it for you or for them? I think the real reason you would want to tell any family member or friend is so that it brings you closer together.

I think this is a good observation, Jenny. I'm in the same boat as Nikki, so this discussion is of direct interest to me. I have a grown son, and I've been wondering if I should tell him. I'm not sure at all what to do. But I think the question you've raised is very apt. I'll keep an eye on this discussion to see what people think.

[kimdl93]

I told my youngest step daughter this summer (she's in her mid 20's). I was motivated by the fact that I dress nearly full time, and had been keeping it from her while she stayed with us. She's pretty open minded and tolerant, so I though maybe we'd all be happier if I just came out and told her. Fortunately, I read her correctly and she's proven to be very accepting.

[Leilani]

This is a tough question. I have no practical experience either way but it seems to me that if you tell them you can at least clear up some misconceptions that they may have over the issue ie: were you gay, did their mom know or others. If you choose not to tell them, what happens if they find out on their own? If you go to the hospital/ on vacation and they come by to look after the house for you and find stuff, or they come over with their kids and the kids snoop and find your clothes or what about when you die? When they go through to clean the houe and find all the clothing. Will they think you were a hoarder of women's clothing in an attempt to pretend their mom never died or a weird fetishist that needed lots of womens clothes. As I said it seems a tough call to me but at least if you tell them while you are alive it gives you the chance to dictate the flow of information whereas if you wait it could change the way that they feel about the fact that they may have never really know you in the first place. Tough call though.

[Tbirdgal]

I totally understand about the kids as I too am a parent . Still be honest an truthful. They're adults and I'm sure they will adjust as needed .

[Annie D]

Both of my kids are in college and home visiting during the holidays like yours. Although both have seen me dressed, by accident and just in passing, we have a "don't ask, don't tell" environment at home. This is in defference to my wife who supports my dressing but somehow doesn't want to go public and talk about it with the kids. In one of those teenage differences a couple of years ago, my son declared to my wife "we know about Dad's dresses!". It seems to me that with the observations your daughter has made about your hands that she may be fishing and trying to open the door for you to confide in her. I think that it takes some level of trust that they will still love you after they find out. Every family situation is different and only you can decide on the course of action to take. Our family situation is different from yours so good luck.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

My kids are both pre-teen, and I think way to young to deal with it yet. But I like to think that someday I could let them in, just so they know me fully....it sucks having a "secret life." Good luck!

[Beth Mays]

My wife out me on Facebook, twice, it was on my profile for over an hour before I got it off. In a way I was glad it was out but I did not know who all saw it as well. I have a daughter that is 26, a step son 22 and a step daughter 20. some of the people I work with saw it and all but one (guy) is ok with it, my wife told her Mom and some people in her family. She went so far to take pictures of some things I have. She says now she regret the way she acted but still is not tolerant of my CD.
All and all I feel that I am about 70% out of the closet. I shave arms, legs etc and don't attempt to hide my nail polish at work or off time. I have started wearing GG perfume to work and have had a couple people give very nice response. To be out is a great weight off my shoulders, I only wish I had done it years ago, and been in control of it at the time.
If you want to share with your family do so, but remember great things are only at great risk. You know your family so trust yourself in how to deal with telling them.
.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I think this is a good observation, Jenny. I'm in the same boat as Nikki, so this discussion is of direct interest to me. I have a grown son, and I've been wondering if I should tell him. I'm not sure at all what to do. But I think the question you've raised is very apt. I'll keep an eye on this discussion to see what people think.

Hi Annabelle,

I also have two boys that know Dad is a bit different then those days when he was the asst. football coach for our Jr. High school team.

I did not actually come out and have a conversation with the kids.... and it has been a long process over time for them to see my feminine side. But, as they got older, (the are both in their 20's now) they have come to realize and accept me for the person I am. I will not lie to them about some of the feminine traits they see in me, but then again they are slow to ask. It is more of a "Don't ask, don't tell," with a little bit of teasing along the way, but it works for us.

Wish you all the luck and understanding in the world.

[Launa]

My kids are still in high school but I'm sure I might be challenged on this one day. I would want to be honest. I hope it goes well for you.

[Nikki A.]

Well I chickened out again. We did spend the day together with my daughter, went to DMV to renew her license and went for manis & pedis (a late Xmas present), I had my chances, but as easily as I have told others it is the hardest to tell them. Not that I'm afraid of a bad reaction, I think I've raised them to be open-minded but it still is so hard.

[Annaliese]

It has to feel right to you when you tell them, It will happen