Advice for that first, furtive, step outside (albeit at night!)

[stunning]

Hi,
First post here - in fact first ever post about my CDing so please be gentle :battingeyelashes:

I have crossdressed, in private, for over ten years (I am 30). Although it's something I do regularly - at least twice a week - it's been covert and resticted to an evening 'in' after work. The rest of the time, and particularly at work, I am overtly male, and in fact only started experimenting with dressing after I left the Armed Forces. I enjoy the comfort and 'buzz' of being dressed, and for the last year I have dreamt about stepping outside, even if just for ten minutes in the middle of the night!

I live in the town centre, in a flat above shops in the main high street, and what I really, really want to do is take a walk outside. Just a stroll up to a post box and back (for some reason I feel I have to have a valid reason for going out!) and want to do this when the town is deserted, even if that means going very late at night or, say, 5am. But I am terrified! I know, pathetic for someone who has been shot at for a living. It doesn't have to be an exotic outfit - a shift dress, tights, shoes/boots and a coat - but I worry about how to 'disguise' myself, just in case a car drives past or I am looked at by a random person walking their dog on the other side of the steet. I worry that I can't wear heels because the clip-clop on the pavement would draw attention.

I don't, currently, own a wig, and I don't worry that (from a distance) my body would look 'wrong' but how can I disguise my face & hair? Can't wear sunglasses in the middle of the night! Head scarf? Wait until I have a wig? At the moment I am planning on waiting until it is raining and the streets are empty so I can walk with my head hidden under an umbrella!

I know for those more brave than I, this must seem such a timid attempt, but I would really really value advice as to how I can go un-noticed (and un-recognised!) on my first venture outside. I am both hugely excited and striken with fear. I long for that stroll in the empty streets with the first feel of wind across my knees and a sense of 'naughty' freedom. All comments appreciated, and I am sorry for such a long (and boring) post!

[Beth Mays]

You will do just fine.. TRUST yourself!

[Eryn]

Any objections to getting a wig? It really is the thing that "sells" the look. It doesn't have to be terribly expensive. I think that going without a wig or reasonable makeup is leaving yourself open to added scrutiny which you don't want.

I think that the best approach is to put together a conservative outfit, wear a wig, do conservative makeup, and take that stroll. Winter is an excellent time to do this! The one major change I suggest is to do it in the daytime. A lone female walking in the wee hours draws attention, and not always the good kind. If you go at a time where there are a number of people about you may draw a passing glance, but there will be plenty of people about to divide any viewer's attention.

You might want to put together an outfit and post a picture here. We'll help you know where you're right and wrong.

[Marleena]

Eryn said most of it for me.:) I was concerned about those early morning hours when presenting as a female can be dangerous. Maybe early evening would be a better choice even though you don't want to be seen.

[Leeiah]

Do not try to hide your face, like Isign2u said just trust yourself, be yourself. You would be surprised of the difference of what makeup and a pair of clothes can do. :) you will enjoy this.

[DanaR]

Welcome to the forum.

If you try to go outside, it will never end. You'll want to go out more and more. Don't ask me how I know.

[Rianna Humble]

Although my first time out was about 3 o'clock in the morning, I do agree with those who have stressed the added risk for someone who appears to be a woman alone late at night.

You could go out in the rain with an umbrella, but that will make it more difficult for walking in heels if that had been in your plans.

Walk with confidence and you won't need to worry about the passers by, they will probably not even notice you unless you look out of place or nervous.

Above all, please remember that you have just as much right to be on that street as any other law abiding person.

[Kaz]

Don't think about it... just do it.

I can promise you that once you have you will have most of the answers you need!

[josee]

You could get a cute winter hat and that might disguise your face enough to be un-recognizable.

[Sister Rachel]

That post was neither long nor boring, stunning! I'm not the one to be offering any advice on the subject, but I'm sure you'll be fine and enjoy the experience :)

[Vickie_CDTV]

You might be able to wear the headscarf and a pair of clear glasses (something I wear to 'disguise' myself if I have to be seen anywhere in my town dressed.)

Judging by your English, I assume you are in the UK or somewhere in the Commonwealth? If you live near a population center, you may have a trans group nearby. They often let you change there, spend some time dressed and change back without having to be seen by anyone on the street. Being out at 3am dressed alone can be dangerous, you are vulnerable as any GG is, plus the risk of being a target of a hate crime.

[linda allen]

Any objections to getting a wig? It really is the thing that "sells" the look. It doesn't have to be terribly expensive. I think that going without a wig or reasonable makeup is leaving yourself open to added scrutiny which you don't want.

I think that the best approach is to put together a conservative outfit, wear a wig, do conservative makeup, and take that stroll. Winter is an excellent time to do this! The one major change I suggest is to do it in the daytime. A lone female walking in the wee hours draws attention, and not always the good kind. If you go at a time where there are a number of people about you may draw a passing glance, but there will be plenty of people about to divide any viewer's attention.

You might want to put together an outfit and post a picture here. We'll help you know where you're right and wrong.

Well, that pretty much sums it up. Let me add this - a purse and jewelry will help to complete the image. In the daytime, you can wear sunglasses. For evening, buy and wear a pair of women's reading glasses that still allow you to see where you're going.

You need enough makeup to cover any beard and a little lipstick helps a lot.

I've been out a couple times at night, but there's nothing like the thrill of walking down the sidewalk in the middle of the day smiling at people. Just remember to dress appropriately for the time of day and the activity.

[Carla Stevens]

My first time out was early evening. I went for a drive in the car, but couldn't get up the courage to get out & go for a walk.
The second time was again early evening. Went for a drive some distance from home, but this time got out & went for a short walk.
The next time out was in broad daylight. OK I was driving, but had to leave the house part dressed & in make-up (put wig on & heeled boots in the car just out of my village).
I went to a CD'ing shop an hour & a half away. I parked up around the corner & walked along the street to the shop. Yes I was nervous.:heehee:
If you don't want to draw attention to yourself you need to dress as the Genetic Girls are dressing.
Have a look at the girls next time you're out shoping in the supermarket. Around here certainly they're wearing skinny jeans, boots of one form or other (Ugg style or knee high heeled boots), a sweater & casual coat with scarf. They also tend to have natural/neutral looking make-up. Nothing too OTT & certainly not the 'Drag Queen' look.:heehee:
Get yourself a wig, there are plenty to choose from if you look on the web.
If you can find a CD'ing shop in your area, don't feel nervous, just go along. They will be able to help you & won't judge you.

I must admit I had read about other forum members going out for the first time dressed & thought that I'd never do it, but finally managed to do it myself.
It's not easy & I must admit I was extremely nervous each time, but each time does get easier (possibly as I come to terms with my own feelings).

Now I can't wait for my next forray out of the closet.:D

[kimdl93]

If you want to go out in the late night/early morning, the most important thing is to be safe. I don't know the town or neighborhood, but you need to consider the risks. If you want to take steps out in daylight, then start preparing. First, I'd get a suitable wig and some make up....then practice, practice, practice. Second thing would be to find some age, situation appropriate clothing....just hang out at the mall one day and watch what women of your age and approximate build are wearing. Find something along those lines and once you've got the basics down, get out there and do it. I really believe that we're safer and blend in more successfully in crowded public places...safety in numbers I guess.

[JenniferR771]

If you can drive--drive to an isolated spot or car park, get out and walk. Then drive to a less isolated spot --get out and walk further. And if you still have the nerve...

[stunning]

wow, I am so glad I finally decided to post - such kind, practical and supportive advice. Yes, I do live in the UK I take on-board entirely the comments that suggest a loan girl walking through town at 2am is likely to draw more, not less, attention, and not of the positive kind.

So I have taken on board all those wonderful ideas. Yesterday I ordered a shoulder-length mousey-brown wig (same as my natural colour) and went into a store and bought one of those complete nail and make-up gift sets in the January sale which is so easily assumed to be a late christmas gift for a GG. I've looked closely at age and season appropriate clothes and planned an outfit according. Once the wig has arrived and I have had a week to practice getting the look and walk right, then I shall take that walk! Being winter, scarf, gloves and coat look totally in place and I shall go for a stroll around 6am or so. That way it will be light, not too many people around and not look out of place for a 'girl' to be walking to the train station for work or an early start supermarket shift. I shall stride out with my head held high (despite probably shaking inside!) and enjoy. I am a very confident and assured male; it's time to embrace my 'other self' and for her to gain confidence too.

It's not an exageration to say that it's hugely unlikely I would have made such a bold move without your kind support. Love to you all ;-)

[Sarah Jayne]

If you try to go outside, it will never end. You'll want to go out more and more. Don't ask me how I know.

Totally agree. I was out earlier today and forgot I was wearing a bra under my top. I found myself talking to my neighbour for 5 minutes. The world did not end, we wished each other happy new year and I walked off on such a high