Advice on telling a close female friend that I CD, and reactions to anticipate?

[amy1986]

Hello,
I just recently joined the forums here. I am 25 years old and have been crossdressing secretly since middle school. I have done this in secret, but want to be able to express this side of me to another girl.

I have a very close friend of mine, and she is a very open person. I am thinking about telling her that I crossdress, but I have been close friends with her for 5 years and I dont no how to approach her. I can see her saying to me, why I did not tell her early on, and if I did not trust her.

1 .Can someone offer me advise on how I can go about telling her?

2. For those who have come out, and when you told others, what was the reaction.

3. Did it affect your friendship in any ways?

[Marleena]

Amy: I simply emailed my GG friend pictures. She still didn't believe me so I explained it in an email. She was happy for me & very supportive since she knew I had been in a major funk for over a year. She had known me for over 5 years due to a project we run online. She knew I was looking for happiness during that whole time (it always elluded me). It has brought us even closer, she even told me that this is who I was and I was repressing it.

[jsunic_1978]

She probably has some kind of idea that something is on your mind. I would tell her slowly. Offer to take her shopping. Look at a pair of Ugg boots, something simple like that. Say those look really comfy! Id like to try them on. Even the female Uggs are unisex, worn with the pant leg over the boot. Just do simple stuff like that. If you tell her, I'm sure shell understand. You guys are in the friend zone and nothing will change that. You'll always have a good friend. Believe me, female friends are important!! I'm just starting to learn that at 33. Good luck to you :)

[Annie D]

You can let her know in multiple ways but the easiest is just to tell her; you might show her a picture of you dressed as Amy; you might tell her that you are going out and need some help with your makeup; you might paint your toenails and wear some sandals around her or you might paint your fingernails and ask to borrow some nail polish remover. As far as the questions that might be asked, they are going to be the same kinds of questions our wives and girlfriends ask when we tell them: are you gay?; are you bi?; do you want to become a woman; and after a while when everything is absorbed, you find out if she is really your friend if she asks how she can help you or that she thinks you would really look cute in............

Good luck!

[S. Lisa Smith]

I have had good results and not so good results. Almost every woman I have told (I've never told a man) has been interested in a positive way. Two I have told weren't interested, didn't want to talk about it, but we have remained friends at exactly the same level. So while I'm very much ahead, I have not been 100% successful. The moral to this story is that it depends on each person, but even if unsuccessful it MAY not be the end of the world. YMMV. Good luck!!

[Launa]

Does she wear a cowboy hat and have a belt with her name embroided on it? If so don't tell her! lol
I have told a few women over the years and they were all fine with it. There were some women that I would never tell but I also knew ahead of time that their views of the world are very narrow minded. Ask yourself if she has feelings for you. If the answer is yes then be aware of that before as you tell her.
If she is just a 100% of a good friend and if your a good judge of character then tell her. The worst that could happen is you get in a quarrel with her one day and she decides to tell the world. In my cases I didn't care if that did happen and I would have said to friends and family that she is disgruntled and is being an idiot.
Usually it all works out for the best and it sounds like in your case, your going to have a better relationship once you tell her. So I would do it.

[kimdl93]

its pretty straight forward. First, prepare yourself by thinking of the questions she's likely to ask, and be ready to answer them fully and honestly. You know the typical questions...are you gay? (yes, no, maybe, bi?), how long have you been doing this?, why? (there's no right answer, but we may be born this way); Do you want to be a girl? (yes, no, maybe?). Do you want her help in some way - say with make up, chosing clothes or hair styles, or simply someone to hang out with, and would she be willing to do so?

The other thing is to consider why you want to tell her - what are the benefits and the risks. Certainly the benefit is to unburden yourself and be more true to yourself. The risks - possibly loss of friendship, possibly being outed faster and more than you are prepared for.



On balnce, if you're confident in her friendship and charachter, as mentioned above, then get on with it.

[docrobbysherry]

Amy, why do u feel the need to tell her now? That's how u can explain why it's taken so long, to HER!

I've told 2 ladies. One, an old girlfriend I've hooked up with on and off over 40 years. She's always been very open minded and accepting. At first, it was all good. Then, it was, "I'm sick of Sherry and don't want to hear anything more about her!" We've drifted far apart as a result!

The other, was a girl I was casually dating recently. She was dumbfounded! And, had nothing more to say or ask about it! We've stopped dating.

[Leeiah]

Your friend should understand atleast thats what I expect friends to do, hope everything goes well. I personally will never tell my friend of 10 years about me no matter how far I go with this in the future or being full-time maybe one day. I can't really fathom telling my childhood friend that, thats just me really. I am just guessing though but usually girls are more understanding then men. I have told every one of my womanly friends on FB and they were really supportive about it, scared to even tell the boys.

[StevieTV]

The first person I told kind of had a clue as I was always complimenting her on her outfits. It was during a conversation about certain styles of outfits that she just up and asked. I was honest with her and we had a blast for years until she moved away. I will admit it was easier to do after a few drinks.

[Jonianne]

Certainly it is a bit of a risk, if you don't want others to know. But it's been my experience in telling others that if they were good friends before, they will be afterward. Anyway, I havn't lost any friendships, female or male, when I shared.

But be aware, telling someone else, especially a non-cder, can lead to telling others (or her telling others) and that could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending if you want to be more open and honest person. Personally, in my life, it's been the best thing I could have done.

If you are going to tell her, just say that you want to share something personal about yourself that you have not shared with anyone else. That will peak her interest and she will likely prod you into sharing, even if you suddenly get shy about it.