BreenaDion
12-31-2011, 09:36 AM
As some of you know I had an awakening caused from numerous beatings in my past. So all well an good but in the 48 yrs why didn't I ever had Gender Identity Dysphoria ? I awoke 04/09 an went in to high gear Transsexualism which drove me crazy . So all you geniuses here why didn't I get GID , why am I missing some thing.
Part 2 and with help from a new forum for survivors of trauma and abuse I was able to see/learn/and understand more about my abuse and Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I some time ago wanted to learn about PTSD to an Awakening. Well I found that connection and its called Dissociative Identity Disorder from sever trauma and abuse in my case. I am undergoing Hypnosis to see more about my abuse , my early childhood and the person I was.
That last moment of trauma I suffered at age 5 I dissociated from my body and had an out of body experience also known as floating like when you decease. I from what I came to understand is in that moment my consciousness changed, that they call an altered state. The term I asked in the Ask a MTF transsexual my first questions. "How do you get your brain hard wired, so no switching back an forth?"
That was a direct result of Dissociative Identity Disorder in witch they call "Switching". Your Identity switches back and forth between Identities be it any number of them.
I was in an Altered State for 48 plus years. I was an altered identity for that period and that period only. I am finding that Transgenderism is to strong of a Disorder to repress into the subconscious mind. In effect with the help of changed use of prominent hemisphere I was able to live a life as a male unlike a normal Transsexual because I "was abnormal" and I also had that disorder of being a transgendered person. I lived those decades as a cisgendered male fully alined gender/body but as they call a Cross Dresser.
Wasn't until after I switched Identity again in 09 that Gendered Identity Disorder manifested itself and approximately a year later so did Gender Identity Dysphoria.
3 months ago I have the dubious honor to receive an onslaught of PTSD and its triggers and in my case a blocked flash back. In that flash back= fb I have only one reference point to travel to and I am with help from a Therapist=T trying to unlock repressed memories.
My Endocrinologist is fascinated with my story and wants to be updated as I journey on in a path of discovery. My Gender Specialist helps me in any way to uncover and discover my past and supports me totally.
Breena.
Breena.
Part 2 and with help from a new forum for survivors of trauma and abuse I was able to see/learn/and understand more about my abuse and Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I some time ago wanted to learn about PTSD to an Awakening. Well I found that connection and its called Dissociative Identity Disorder from sever trauma and abuse in my case. I am undergoing Hypnosis to see more about my abuse , my early childhood and the person I was.
That last moment of trauma I suffered at age 5 I dissociated from my body and had an out of body experience also known as floating like when you decease. I from what I came to understand is in that moment my consciousness changed, that they call an altered state. The term I asked in the Ask a MTF transsexual my first questions. "How do you get your brain hard wired, so no switching back an forth?"
That was a direct result of Dissociative Identity Disorder in witch they call "Switching". Your Identity switches back and forth between Identities be it any number of them.
I was in an Altered State for 48 plus years. I was an altered identity for that period and that period only. I am finding that Transgenderism is to strong of a Disorder to repress into the subconscious mind. In effect with the help of changed use of prominent hemisphere I was able to live a life as a male unlike a normal Transsexual because I "was abnormal" and I also had that disorder of being a transgendered person. I lived those decades as a cisgendered male fully alined gender/body but as they call a Cross Dresser.
Wasn't until after I switched Identity again in 09 that Gendered Identity Disorder manifested itself and approximately a year later so did Gender Identity Dysphoria.
3 months ago I have the dubious honor to receive an onslaught of PTSD and its triggers and in my case a blocked flash back. In that flash back= fb I have only one reference point to travel to and I am with help from a Therapist=T trying to unlock repressed memories.
My Endocrinologist is fascinated with my story and wants to be updated as I journey on in a path of discovery. My Gender Specialist helps me in any way to uncover and discover my past and supports me totally.
Breena.
Breena.