JuliaKay
12-31-2011, 08:36 PM
We've been married over 50 years. I came out to my wife 30 years ago -- she was very non-supportive but has. over the years, mellowed to the point I can wear panties 24/7 and sleep in nightgowns. She is aware that I have some clothes of my own (they are hanging in plain sight in downstairs closet between my out-of-season drabs and her out-of-season and also aware I dress when she will be out of the house for awhile. However, she is still non-supportive and I'm unable to have a reasonable discussion with her on my dressing.
Two weeks ago she had surgery on her shoulder and since then I've become her full-time caretaker -- I handle all the household chores; laundry, cooking, driving her whereever, etc. I am, and have been, the subservient in our marriage.
On Wed., I told her I had to iron her shirts so I was going downstairs to the rec room, slip into "something comfortable" and iron and I would appreciate some privacy. She (knowing exactly what I intended) gave me one of her mildly irritated looks, but said nothing so I went downstairs, donned a housedress and ironed her shirts, When I was done, I changed back to drab and went back upstairs with her shirts. There was nothing said nor was there anything other than her normal attitude.
On Friday I told her that after we finished our grocery shopping, I had to start my breadmaking and iron my shirts. After we got back home putting away the groceries and having a bite of lunch, she said that after I helped her with one more thing, ok to iron, etc. So, back to the rec room, changed to a skirt and top and started to make my bread dough. Halfway through, she came downstairs saying she had to ice her shoulder after her exercises - she could plainly see I was wearing a green top but acted normally. She took a phone call (back upstairs), I finished my breaddough and put it into the refrig to proof overnight and started to iron my shirts. My wife then came back downstairs, I was in her plain sight and she sat down on the couch (I was ironing in back of the couch so we were not facing each other). We watched a football game while she iced her shoulder and had a normal conversation. After icing, she went back upstairs and after I finished, I changed back to drab and joined her. Again, no attitude or caustic comments, just our normal conversation.
I'm hoping this will continue and lead to my dressing more -- I feel relieved that a lot of the stress I had over concealing my dressing has been lifted and out in the open more.
Any suggestions on how to proceed? Happy New Year to all of you. Julia
Two weeks ago she had surgery on her shoulder and since then I've become her full-time caretaker -- I handle all the household chores; laundry, cooking, driving her whereever, etc. I am, and have been, the subservient in our marriage.
On Wed., I told her I had to iron her shirts so I was going downstairs to the rec room, slip into "something comfortable" and iron and I would appreciate some privacy. She (knowing exactly what I intended) gave me one of her mildly irritated looks, but said nothing so I went downstairs, donned a housedress and ironed her shirts, When I was done, I changed back to drab and went back upstairs with her shirts. There was nothing said nor was there anything other than her normal attitude.
On Friday I told her that after we finished our grocery shopping, I had to start my breadmaking and iron my shirts. After we got back home putting away the groceries and having a bite of lunch, she said that after I helped her with one more thing, ok to iron, etc. So, back to the rec room, changed to a skirt and top and started to make my bread dough. Halfway through, she came downstairs saying she had to ice her shoulder after her exercises - she could plainly see I was wearing a green top but acted normally. She took a phone call (back upstairs), I finished my breaddough and put it into the refrig to proof overnight and started to iron my shirts. My wife then came back downstairs, I was in her plain sight and she sat down on the couch (I was ironing in back of the couch so we were not facing each other). We watched a football game while she iced her shoulder and had a normal conversation. After icing, she went back upstairs and after I finished, I changed back to drab and joined her. Again, no attitude or caustic comments, just our normal conversation.
I'm hoping this will continue and lead to my dressing more -- I feel relieved that a lot of the stress I had over concealing my dressing has been lifted and out in the open more.
Any suggestions on how to proceed? Happy New Year to all of you. Julia