Asako
12-31-2011, 11:07 PM
Well, it started with me leaving the house 2 hours before my appointment. The drive is roughly 40-45 minutes. I left so early because I had never been to the city her office is in on my own. So, the night before my appointment, I wrote down Google Map's driving instructions and studied the map of the surrounding area so I wouldn't get lost. I still got lost in town. =) Thankfully, it was only 5 minutes of being lost. I ended up showing up an hour before my scheduled time to see her. Ironically, it took an hour to go over and fill out the paper work.
The first thing we did was talk about my reason for being there. ^.^ We talked about my ties with family and how many of them knew. She made a point of asking about how my parents received me telling them. We talked about how they raised me to be open minded and how to think for myself. I think she was pleasantly surprised that I have few acceptance issues with myself or with dressing at all.
One thing she asked that I paid careful attention to how she asked it: "Do you have anywhere that you can go and just be you? Anywhere at all?". My response? The only place I really have is my bedroom because I live with my parents. That brought us to much more recent memories where mom and dad helped me figure out if I could even afford to move out.
One of the things that stood out that she asked me to do was if I would make a collage of my "ideal inner female". My response was simple. "My inner female would be simpler to just describe her. Me dressed as I am now but female instead. It's ideal because it's closest to being me.". I kept my answers honest and tried to be open. I'm not used to sharing these inner thoughts face to face with people but I'm trying. =)
The final thing she stressed before the session was over was the costs of transition. Again, my response was simple. "I know it can cost anywhere from 40-50k and that it can take anywhere from 4-10 years. However, I have sort these feelings out or I'll never have any inner peace with myself."
I almost forgot something she had said. She made sure to stress that she is unbiased towards trans-people and that I could talk as openly as I wanted with her. ^.^ When I left her office, I had a silly grin on my face. By the time I got to my car, it felt like the majority of the weight holding me down had disappeared. I felt light as a feather. Is this what the start of true happiness feels like? If so, then I don't think I'll ever let it go away again!
It may be a day or two before I can check back for replies. I have family staying at the house. The only reason I could even post this is because I stayed at the house instead of leaving at the same time as everyone else for a family style New Years Eve party. For some reason, I hate being away from the board for very long periods of time.
The first thing we did was talk about my reason for being there. ^.^ We talked about my ties with family and how many of them knew. She made a point of asking about how my parents received me telling them. We talked about how they raised me to be open minded and how to think for myself. I think she was pleasantly surprised that I have few acceptance issues with myself or with dressing at all.
One thing she asked that I paid careful attention to how she asked it: "Do you have anywhere that you can go and just be you? Anywhere at all?". My response? The only place I really have is my bedroom because I live with my parents. That brought us to much more recent memories where mom and dad helped me figure out if I could even afford to move out.
One of the things that stood out that she asked me to do was if I would make a collage of my "ideal inner female". My response was simple. "My inner female would be simpler to just describe her. Me dressed as I am now but female instead. It's ideal because it's closest to being me.". I kept my answers honest and tried to be open. I'm not used to sharing these inner thoughts face to face with people but I'm trying. =)
The final thing she stressed before the session was over was the costs of transition. Again, my response was simple. "I know it can cost anywhere from 40-50k and that it can take anywhere from 4-10 years. However, I have sort these feelings out or I'll never have any inner peace with myself."
I almost forgot something she had said. She made sure to stress that she is unbiased towards trans-people and that I could talk as openly as I wanted with her. ^.^ When I left her office, I had a silly grin on my face. By the time I got to my car, it felt like the majority of the weight holding me down had disappeared. I felt light as a feather. Is this what the start of true happiness feels like? If so, then I don't think I'll ever let it go away again!
It may be a day or two before I can check back for replies. I have family staying at the house. The only reason I could even post this is because I stayed at the house instead of leaving at the same time as everyone else for a family style New Years Eve party. For some reason, I hate being away from the board for very long periods of time.