An interesting comment made about me.

[Katie83]

So i went to a 60s party for new year, well Katie went. It was my first proper outing, with people that i knew too. My wife though it was scary that i looked so different (she doesn't really like me crossdressing). I think i looked quite good with my mini dress and gogo boots, (pink fog?)
Anyway, i was sat with a small group of people, my wife included. When a lady i know of (i don't know her that well) came over to us. She said to my wife "Does it concern you that your husband looks better as a woman than he does a man?" My wife didn't really know how to answer so she didn't really.
At first i was really happy about the comment, this lady thought that i made a good woman. Excellent news. But then i got thinking, what does that say about my appearance as a man?
Should i just take the comment as compliment? Or should i read more into it?
Katie

[12Andy777]

I would be so thrilled with a comment like that, I could only take it as a compliment!

[Jillian Faith]

Definitely a compliment

[Nicola2876]

wow what a compliment. i would still be smiling now

[Foxglove]

I'd definitely be pleased with that sort of comment myself. But you haven't told us much about the situation. The way you've told the story, it could be that the woman was trying to cause trouble.

[PretzelGirl]

I would take the compliment and don't over think it. If you start tearing compliments apart to try and see what they **might** be saying, you will never enjoy any of them. She was being pleasant and complimentary. Go with it.

[BRANDYJ]

Since I find very few men attractive, I'd take it as a compliment.

[Kristy_K]

I take it as a a compliment and run with it Hun.

[Katie83]

I'd definitely be pleased with that sort of comment myself. But you haven't told us much about the situation. The way you've told the story, it could be that the woman was trying to cause trouble.

I don't think she was trying to cause trouble, as apart from my wife no one there knew that i cd on a regular basis, so the lady would not know that my wife disapproves of my cding.
Katie

[Annie D]

I don't know what you look like when dressed as a man but my bet is that if you took as much time getting ready to go out as a man (some make included) that you would look great. As women, we look so much more closely to our complection, eyes, eyebrows and lips to make sure that they are as flawless as we could possibly make them that if we took an equal amount of time and effort in male mode would would look pretty darn good too.

From your picture, you look terrific! I would take her comments as a complement, thank her and just be beaming inside. Maybe blush a little too because that is what girls do.

[kimdl93]

The comment was certainly meant as a compliment. Take it and enjoy it!

[LeaP]

The comment seems to speak to the woman's seeing you as more female than male rather than impressions of appearance per se. I.e., she was saying you REALLY look like a woman more than a man. Being dressed brought it out fully. It was also a bit of a jab at a possible vulnerability of your wife's.

You can take it as a compliment, but it sounds backhanded. Be careful of this woman.

Lea

[Cynthia Anne]

Complement! Yes! I think your wife answerd it corectly! I can see where she may not think too highly of the comment! Let her know you love her and thank her for going along on your venture! Hugs!

[Joanna Maguire]

I have been told I look better dressed as a woman than I do as a man. I distinctly when I was a "boy "a woman saying "Its a pity he is not a girl with that lovely curly
hair " My mother later dressed me as a girl for many years No one recognized that I was a boy ??? In those day I looked like a real girl This is no longer so but dressed enfemme most treat me as a real woman Few have seen me dressed as a man
.

[linda allen]

"She said to my wife "Does it concern you that your husband looks better as a woman than he does a man?"

The way it was phrased ("Does it concern you ....... ") makes me wonder if it was a complement or a dig. I think you had to be there, take into account the expression on her face, tone of voice, relationship with the woman, etc.

But, who cares? Take it any way you want. I wish I had that opportunity to go to a party as Linda.

[Lynn Marie]

Sue's comment about not overthinking is excellent. Some of us just have facial features that look better when painted than others. Narrow faces, more pointed chins, smaller noses, higher cheekbones, and long eyelashes are all features that many men have that actually look better with a little makeup as a woman. Sadly, I have none of those attributes.

[Claire Cook]

That was most definitely a wonderful comment. Once in a while I've been told "you look great" when dressed (perhaps out of politeness?) but never when dressed as a man. Part of it may be that we take a lot more time making ourselves look pretty -- much more than when we're en drab! The other thing may be that we let our inner selves come out, and maybe we repress that en drab. In any case, treasure that comment! BTW, did your wife have a comment about that?

[daviolin]

Take that comment and run with it Katie. You should be flattered. I get alot of comments on how pretty my legs are, but never on my complete aperance. Daviolin

[sissystephanie]

I think the lady said what she did as a compliment! I would not try to read more into it! Just be happy with what she said!!

[susan54]

The point is how you and your wife feel. Take as much positive stuff from the comment as you can.

Some years ago I made a friend as Susan and went out quite often with her and her husband - they both thought I looked fantastic - and eventually she insisted on seeing me as a man. She admitted she was disappointed. Naturally I asked her why, and she said she had expected me to be taller, and to be as well dressed as I was as a woman. And I had made an effort - I was wearing a shirt and tie and expensive jacket. In fact the male clothes cost considerably more than my female ones at the time.

I think part of it is the height, but there are many other visual cues that assist, like having your legs on show,and revealing your figure more than you would as a man - so there is more to be impressed by. I get told I look good as a man when I wear a kilt (I live in Scotland) far more than I do when in a really good male suit. I even get more compliments as a man when I wear a skirt openly instead of trousers (with male shoes and top). I am slim with a waist that is rather smaller than my hips, and I have good legs, and with a bust added this gives me a rather nice outline. Only the slim bit helps as a man, in trousers so there is less to work with. Just as some women look better in trousers than a skirt or dress there are men who look better in a skirt or dress. I decided long ago not to be concerned about the fact that I seem to be one of these men - after all I have not been told I look rubbish as a man, just that I look better as a woman or in a skirt. I prefer to think of this as EVEN better!

So my advice is just to enjoy as much of this as you can - and don't look for problems - the majority of the population don't look that great in either gender most of the time!

[josee]

I would take it as a compliment. I would need to see you in drab to know for sure. If you are like me I don't pay much attention to how I look in drab like shaving every third day if lucky, long hair. In femme I take care to trim my eyebrows, shave, put on make up and look nice as possible.

[Marleena]

Take it as a compliment Katie. It doesn't matter what her motives are.:)

[DanaR]

It was definitely a compliment.

[Barbara Ella]

You can never tell the true intentions of a person' comment, so don't spend any time on it. Take it as a compliment and run with it. I just hope your wife is fine with it, or did it provide her with something more to feel negative about your dressing and its impact on her?

Keep on smiling

Babes

[tiffanyjo89]

I think she meant it as a compliment, but one with a little humor thrown in.

I don't think she meant to undermine your ability to "be a man" or anything like that, she just was amazed at how well you look as a woman, finding it surprising that you look so good as a woman after considering how you look as a man.

[Debra Russell]

The comment seems to speak to the woman's seeing you as more female than male rather than impressions of appearance per se. I.e., she was saying you REALLY look like a woman more than a man. Being dressed brought it out fully. It was also a bit of a jab at a possible vulnerability of your wife's.

You can take it as a compliment, but it sounds backhanded. Be careful of this woman.

Lea

I agree, and you can revel in the fact that you deemed her attention ...................Debra

[Stephanie47]

I'd take it as a compliment. Looking at your face, I'd love to have those features. Maybe your en femme appearance is more feminine than that of a male, but, who cares. What appearance does the woman think is manly? Overweight beer belly? Balding? Short and squat? Hairy? It seems the younger generation of women think the young studs used as models at Abercombie & Fitch is the masculine look. Just keep her comment in mind. It may be a motivation to keep the body in shape with proper diet and exercise.

[Crysten]

The comment had nothing to do with you. The lady was being a bitch to your wife for being with you, is all. Same as her walking up and calling your wife a loser, exactly the same. Haters gonna hate, but its ok because we rollin. A good response would have been "I love my man regardless of how he's dressed, and thank you yes he is very cute". That would have taken the wind out of her sails, I'm sure.

[suchacutie]

If the woman had said to your wife, "Gee, he looks terrific as a woman", then it's a compliment.

What she did say was phrased to get a rise out of your wife. It attempted to bring out her fears that you are somehow less than other husbands present in the "manly" department. I'm not sure what this woman has against your wife, or against the two of you, but she is no friend.

What are the positives? You looked good enough to let her take the stance she did! If you had not come across well she would have had no ammunition and would have looked silly. The fact that you looked fantastic allowed her to prod to see if your wife was insecure and if she could start trouble.

What are the negatives? Only your wife can tell you. The fact that she said nothing worries me. Your wife is not secure enough to joke about it. Your wife could have shot this woman down on the spot by saying something like, "Yes, isn't she just fantastic!" or any other support for you giving the message that you and she have a clear solidarity. By giving no response, that woman understood that she hit a nerve and will likely continue to do so.

tina

[carhill2mn]

I think that she meant it as a compliment but it would have been in better taste to not phrase it that way to your wife.

[Crysten]

Ok I'll be blunt. Too much nonsense going on here. What she said was "Your husband is a fag and you are a loser for being with him". This is classic underhanded passive-aggressive behavior that I think is more common in older women ... you know, shes probably told her husband to go piss off a thousand times without ever actually having said so. Younger women (mostly) will just tell you to piss off.

How should you feel about it, or more importantly, how your wife feels about it, well you should ask her because guaranteed, the insult wasn't lost on her AT ALL, which is probably why she was at a loss to respond, as you said.

[Crysten]

If anyone is wondering why I came to the above conclusion, I've seen this exact sort of thing a lot. My mom was sort of a black sheep to part of our family, and without fail one of my great aunts would insult my mom ... without *actually* insulting my mom. Same thing here, seen it lots. In fact, this situation here is just about a textbook passive-aggressive insult. Men never do this, is why I think most of the comments here misjudge the intent.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie, That's what I aways call a left handed complement.

Orchid

[JustWendy]

I agree with Crysten and Tina. Plus, the way she phrased the question, any response would have an assumed agreement with the conclusion that you look better as a woman. I don't think this was an accident. She was letting your wife know that you looked too good for this to be your first try at it. This is what may have been going through your wife's mind when she didn't respond. If she is willing, it might be good for the two of you to talk this through.

Wendy

[Acastina]

Ok What she said was "Your husband is a fag and you are a loser for being with him". This is classic underhanded passive-aggressive behavior that I think is more common in older women ... you know, shes probably told her husband to go piss off a thousand times without ever actually having said so. Younger women (mostly) will just tell you to piss off.

How should you feel about it, or more importantly, how your wife feels about it, well you should ask her because guaranteed, the insult wasn't lost on her AT ALL, which is probably why she was at a loss to respond, as you said.

That's one way to view it, and one that is a bit cynical. Another way is that, however indelicately it may have been said, you achieved the crossdresser's holy grail.

[Foxglove]

If the woman had said to your wife, "Gee, he looks terrific as a woman", then it's a compliment.

What she did say was phrased to get a rise out of your wife. It attempted to bring out her fears that you are somehow less than other husbands present in the "manly" department. I'm not sure what this woman has against your wife, or against the two of you, but she is no friend.

What are the positives? You looked good enough to let her take the stance she did! If you had not come across well she would have had no ammunition and would have looked silly. The fact that you looked fantastic allowed her to prod to see if your wife was insecure and if she could start trouble.

What are the negatives? Only your wife can tell you. The fact that she said nothing worries me. Your wife is not secure enough to joke about it. Your wife could have shot this woman down on the spot by saying something like, "Yes, isn't she just fantastic!" or any other support for you giving the message that you and she have a clear solidarity. By giving no response, that woman understood that she hit a nerve and will likely continue to do so.

tina


Ok I'll be blunt. Too much nonsense going on here. What she said was "Your husband is a fag and you are a loser for being with him". This is classic underhanded passive-aggressive behavior that I think is more common in older women ... you know, shes probably told her husband to go piss off a thousand times without ever actually having said so. Younger women (mostly) will just tell you to piss off.

How should you feel about it, or more importantly, how your wife feels about it, well you should ask her because guaranteed, the insult wasn't lost on her AT ALL, which is probably why she was at a loss to respond, as you said.

I have to say that I agree with all of the foregoing. Of course, the tone of voice, the look on the face, the gestures used when this was said count for a lot, but in my view the words themselves are ominous.


Men never do this, is why I think most of the comments here misjudge the intent.

I don't quite agree with this. I myself have had this sort of sneaky insult from a man. It may be true that women do this sort of thing more often than men, but I wouldn't say "never" about the men.

[JamieG]

I think she meant it as a compliment, but one with a little humor thrown in.

I don't think she meant to undermine your ability to "be a man" or anything like that, she just was amazed at how well you look as a woman, finding it surprising that you look so good as a woman after considering how you look as a man.

I'm going to agree with Tiffany. It was probably an attempt to be funny, but also a statement of awe at how good of a job you did. But as others have said, the tone, posture, and your previous relationship with the woman are needed to tell. It is possible that it was a dig, especially if she said this without a smile or chuckle, and then left without otherwise making friendly smalltalk.

[Eryn]

Take it as a compliment and you'll both be happy.

Take it as snide or a challenge and you'll be unhappy.

Which would you rather be? Nothing deflates a needler like someone who takes their needling as a compliment!


I think that I look much better as a female than I do as a male. After all, what can I do to improve my appearance en drab? Put on a different pair of black, blue, or brown pants or shirt? En femme, I have an endless array of ways to improve myself with clothing and makeup.

[Dana7]

It does not surprise me at all the comment your friend made. Men in general are always uglier or plainer looking when compared to women. Why? Because women are designed to look better than men. Women are naturally more beautiful than men are.

Of course you look better as a woman, what man gets to wear makeup, cute outfits and lovely hairdos?

Women get to be pretty and feel pretty. That is what women are made for--being beautiful. That is what I think is part of the joy of CDing. Being able to be pretty and feel pretty!

[Launa]

Like many others here, I say take it as a compliment.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I think the most important thing said was by your wife that night when you got home. I have to say she has to be a really open minded and understanding mate that loves you dearly. And besides, who cares what a near stranger thinks about you anyway!.

[gartersnheels]

I agree with the comments made by suchacutie. What you need to do is reassure your wife that your are the man she married first and foremost inside and out. Make sure she knows that your dressing is secondary to the commitment you two share. This witch put a doubt in your wife's head about her "life" decision. After you do that, take the woman aside and b**ch slap her

[darci.c]

It's a fact that most men, even men who CD, do not spend nearly as much time or attention on their appearance or grooming when they are in public as their masculine form. Not to mention that fashion or style seldom crosses the mind of a straight man.

But, if you did,

You'd be wearing tight threads, nice shoes, masculine dark colors, have well-styled hair, smell fresh. How many straight men ever do this? Few.

[busker]

I don't think she was trying to cause trouble, as apart from my wife no one there knew that i cd on a regular basis, so the lady would not know that my wife disapproves of my cding.
Katie
well, I would interpret her comment as you are looking so good that you DO look feminine and that would be a hint that this is NOT THE FIRST TIME that you have dressed. How many guys could do that on the first pass? so, she may have been saying that you have been outed, and perhaps confirmed by your wife's lack of retort. catty comes to mind but I can't speak to UK manners as I've only been a visitor there. Are your eyebrows as nicely shaped as they are in the photo? Small tell-tale signs ol' chap.