Eryn
01-03-2012, 08:25 PM
It was a year ago today that I joined crossdressers.com. It has been a truly amazing year.
I want to thank everyone who has made me feel welcome on the site, addressed my fears, said nice things about me, given me constructive criticism and in many other ways made my life better. A nicer set of people can't be found anywhere. I'm especially thankful for my wonderful Mimi, who is both my wife and my BFF.
I'm a late bloomer, having repressed just about everything that might lead to CDing throughout my life. I toyed about a bit with underwear and makeup, but always carefully put everything away under a heavy layer of shame. Something, I have no idea what, brought things to a head in 2010. I stated to dress more when my family was away and things grew until I decided that I could not keep this a secret much longer.
I discovered this forum and read a lot about how others have come to terms with their CDing. I was amazed to find that there were so many others whose stories were pretty much the same as mine. Armed with at least a rudimentary understanding of myself the next step was to have "the talk" with my wife Mimi.
Actually, it was many talks, which continue to this day. There were tears, fears, and questions I couldn't answer at the time. I showed Mimi this forum and let her do some reading of her own. One of our discussions was about whether I should join the forum. It seems trivial now, but that was a big step for me in acknowledging that I wasn't going to stuff things back into the closet.
Having joined the forum, I started to participate in it. This period was pretty foggy in a pink way and I managed to go too far too fast and worry Mimi. I encouraged her to join the forum herself and she did. I was very worried about our marriage, but Mimi soon put me at my ease. She has been supportive and encouraging in sharing my new adventures.
At this point, the idea of going out in public was completely out of the question in my mind. It just didn't seem possible, but still there was a desire to explore. I looked around for CDing groups, but here in SoCal there are very few. Still, there were a few things I could do at home. I screwed up my courage and bought my first wig, bra, and forms. I got rid of body hair. I also started trying to learn about makeup. My first attempts were pretty shoddy, but I practiced and improved. I started to pay attention to what I saw the GGs around me doing and trying to adapt it to myself.
I had to show someone, so I posted a few pictures to the forum. Looking at them now some of the early ones seem a bit embarrassing, but even the early ones gave me the confidence to persevere.
Up to this point I had been wearing Mimi's clothes, first without her knowledge and later with her permission. Although nice, most of them weren't suitable for me. I had purchased a few pairs of women's jeans and Capris that I was wearing in drab mode. Mimi gave me two beautiful dresses that she had bought but which were too long for her. Those were Eryn's first dresses. We also made our first shoe shopping trip so I would have proper footwear.
Along the way I met Persephone here on the forum due to a serendipitous outside interest. We've developed quite a friendship and Persephone has been a very positive influence on me. She has shown me a lot of things, big and small, about Girl World.
Along comes July, and something amazing happened. I went out! Persephone invited Mimi and I along on a trip to Solvang, and we decided that this would be a good time for Eryn to breathe some fresh air, and breathe I did. Shopping, lunch, dinner, live theater, we had a wonderful time. Extra special was the two separate times in the evening that a GG complimented me on my dress, one of the ones that Mimi had given me. I was on cloud nine!
We also finally found a CDing group and we started to attend their events. It was great to be able to talk to other CDers and their wives in a social environment.
Once out the door, it's difficult not to do it again, and I didn't resist the urge. In the last few months I've been out quite a few times for evenings with Mimi, with our friends, and with the CDing group. I've gone out to dinner, concerts, movies, and shopping. I've learned the joy of shopping dressed (everything is soooo much easier!) and managed to dodge most of the pitfalls that going out dressed might encounter. I've purchased a lot of clothes (darn you, outlet malls!) and was pleased to watch my own style develop. I'm relatively slim and find that I can have a lot of fun with that. Another milestone was when Mimi encouraged me to try laser treatment on my beard, which has been coming along slowly.
My presentation is nowhere near perfect, whatever that is. I'm still a 6'2" woman which tends to turn heads, particularly those of other tall women. I've not had any bad experiences at all while out. I've grown more confident in interacting with people while dressed, while still trying to remember how to behave like a lady.
One thing that has changed is my attitude. I used to be scared to death of someone realizing that I wasn't a woman. After some experience, I realized that there was little chance of anyone being completely sure that I wasn't the gender I was presenting and that doubt is my friend. There are a lot of manly-looking GGs out there so everybody tends to accept me as the gender I'm obviously presenting. With that issue behind me I find that I can really enjoy the sensation of being out and presenting as I wish. It is exhilarating!
The end of the year brought more adventures. The fun of planning for a holiday party, searching out a sexy Little Red Dress, and pulling together a great outfit to "strut my stuff" in was something I've wanted to do, and I did!
The holiday season also brings private time with family, and this season was more special when Mimi gave Eryn a beautiful necklace and bracelet. Eryn didn't forget Mimi either, giving her a matching crystal earring and necklace set.
In summation, I will have to say that this has been an amazing year. I've learned a lot about myself and made many new friends. I'm looking forward to learning more and having more fun experiences in the year ahead.
Hugs to all of you, Eryn
I want to thank everyone who has made me feel welcome on the site, addressed my fears, said nice things about me, given me constructive criticism and in many other ways made my life better. A nicer set of people can't be found anywhere. I'm especially thankful for my wonderful Mimi, who is both my wife and my BFF.
I'm a late bloomer, having repressed just about everything that might lead to CDing throughout my life. I toyed about a bit with underwear and makeup, but always carefully put everything away under a heavy layer of shame. Something, I have no idea what, brought things to a head in 2010. I stated to dress more when my family was away and things grew until I decided that I could not keep this a secret much longer.
I discovered this forum and read a lot about how others have come to terms with their CDing. I was amazed to find that there were so many others whose stories were pretty much the same as mine. Armed with at least a rudimentary understanding of myself the next step was to have "the talk" with my wife Mimi.
Actually, it was many talks, which continue to this day. There were tears, fears, and questions I couldn't answer at the time. I showed Mimi this forum and let her do some reading of her own. One of our discussions was about whether I should join the forum. It seems trivial now, but that was a big step for me in acknowledging that I wasn't going to stuff things back into the closet.
Having joined the forum, I started to participate in it. This period was pretty foggy in a pink way and I managed to go too far too fast and worry Mimi. I encouraged her to join the forum herself and she did. I was very worried about our marriage, but Mimi soon put me at my ease. She has been supportive and encouraging in sharing my new adventures.
At this point, the idea of going out in public was completely out of the question in my mind. It just didn't seem possible, but still there was a desire to explore. I looked around for CDing groups, but here in SoCal there are very few. Still, there were a few things I could do at home. I screwed up my courage and bought my first wig, bra, and forms. I got rid of body hair. I also started trying to learn about makeup. My first attempts were pretty shoddy, but I practiced and improved. I started to pay attention to what I saw the GGs around me doing and trying to adapt it to myself.
I had to show someone, so I posted a few pictures to the forum. Looking at them now some of the early ones seem a bit embarrassing, but even the early ones gave me the confidence to persevere.
Up to this point I had been wearing Mimi's clothes, first without her knowledge and later with her permission. Although nice, most of them weren't suitable for me. I had purchased a few pairs of women's jeans and Capris that I was wearing in drab mode. Mimi gave me two beautiful dresses that she had bought but which were too long for her. Those were Eryn's first dresses. We also made our first shoe shopping trip so I would have proper footwear.
Along the way I met Persephone here on the forum due to a serendipitous outside interest. We've developed quite a friendship and Persephone has been a very positive influence on me. She has shown me a lot of things, big and small, about Girl World.
Along comes July, and something amazing happened. I went out! Persephone invited Mimi and I along on a trip to Solvang, and we decided that this would be a good time for Eryn to breathe some fresh air, and breathe I did. Shopping, lunch, dinner, live theater, we had a wonderful time. Extra special was the two separate times in the evening that a GG complimented me on my dress, one of the ones that Mimi had given me. I was on cloud nine!
We also finally found a CDing group and we started to attend their events. It was great to be able to talk to other CDers and their wives in a social environment.
Once out the door, it's difficult not to do it again, and I didn't resist the urge. In the last few months I've been out quite a few times for evenings with Mimi, with our friends, and with the CDing group. I've gone out to dinner, concerts, movies, and shopping. I've learned the joy of shopping dressed (everything is soooo much easier!) and managed to dodge most of the pitfalls that going out dressed might encounter. I've purchased a lot of clothes (darn you, outlet malls!) and was pleased to watch my own style develop. I'm relatively slim and find that I can have a lot of fun with that. Another milestone was when Mimi encouraged me to try laser treatment on my beard, which has been coming along slowly.
My presentation is nowhere near perfect, whatever that is. I'm still a 6'2" woman which tends to turn heads, particularly those of other tall women. I've not had any bad experiences at all while out. I've grown more confident in interacting with people while dressed, while still trying to remember how to behave like a lady.
One thing that has changed is my attitude. I used to be scared to death of someone realizing that I wasn't a woman. After some experience, I realized that there was little chance of anyone being completely sure that I wasn't the gender I was presenting and that doubt is my friend. There are a lot of manly-looking GGs out there so everybody tends to accept me as the gender I'm obviously presenting. With that issue behind me I find that I can really enjoy the sensation of being out and presenting as I wish. It is exhilarating!
The end of the year brought more adventures. The fun of planning for a holiday party, searching out a sexy Little Red Dress, and pulling together a great outfit to "strut my stuff" in was something I've wanted to do, and I did!
The holiday season also brings private time with family, and this season was more special when Mimi gave Eryn a beautiful necklace and bracelet. Eryn didn't forget Mimi either, giving her a matching crystal earring and necklace set.
In summation, I will have to say that this has been an amazing year. I've learned a lot about myself and made many new friends. I'm looking forward to learning more and having more fun experiences in the year ahead.
Hugs to all of you, Eryn