Right or Wrong?

[SallyS]

Last year I signed up to a UK site, much like this one. However it was clearly more focused on 'contacts' and 'admirers'.

Although I did happily converse with several fellow CD'ers, I felt the overall aim of the site was more about the physical side of the scene.

Now don't get me wrong I am VERY open minded, but being in a relationship for over twenty years with the same women, it simply wasn't my 'cup of tea'.

Thankfully crossdressers.com is one of the few sites that caters for ALL, but puts everyday CD'ing matters at the heart of it.

Again, I am no prude, but not everyone wants extra-marital relationships, illicit sexual encounters and so on.

To those who do, then great, but for at least some of us, I'm sure it's just talking about and sharing our experiences within cross-dressing, that is enough:)

There where some genuinely nice people on the site (and I suspect a few of them may be on this one?). But the general feel and tone of the site put me off!

So was I right or wrong to ditch the site?

[noeleena]

Hi,

If its the one im thinking of & im on a few. then it depends on the people concerned , & yes i have been approched ,

& declinded. & said to them im a woman & not interested in any relastionships & dont need any thing as youv said jumping in to bed with a guy. & iv made that very plan & even face to face that who ever gets the same answer, no thank you & thats the end .

Some net works = sites cater for those inclined , & yes what they do is up to them.

Its not a matter of right or wrong its just its not for us. tho id say you have done the right thing & allso for your S O.

We do have some other forums there & 3 are lovely & i have many friends & i have done two write ups & pic's for one.

...noeleena...

[Foxglove]

It's up to you. I'm not looking for any sort of relationship right now, so a site like that wouldn't be for me, either.

[JillyNylonz]

Certainly both sites can appeal to a CD, some will be comfortable and feel a connection in only one of those sites, but some may feel fine moving between both sites. I see your opinion, and believe you made the correct choice for yourself and your goals. Not all of us want sexual encounters, and that is OK ! The value of a long term relationship with a GG cannot be underestimated. Does your "SO" know of your feminine side? Has she been introduced to SallyS ? I am not suggesting you take that step, I am just curious. Best wishes . . . Jilly.

[SallyS]

... Has she been introduced to SallyS ? I am not suggesting you take that step, I am just curious. Best wishes . . . Jilly.

Thankfully my wife has known for more than twenty years...even before we where married!

I'll often great her at the door, when she comes back from work, in full attire:)

We'll sit down have a coffee and a chat. Sally goes 'home' when my kids get back from school though.

[Kate T]

But the general feel and tone of the site put me off!

So was I right or wrong to ditch the site?

It would seem you have answered your own question before you even asked it.

Call me a prude and bloody closed minded if you like but I would argue and continue to argue that I cannot see how illicit sexual encounters etc. do not hurt someone. You will need to put up a seriously good argument to convince me that such activities are not selfish and self serving.

[kimdl93]

No right or wrong involved. It seems to me that you quite reasonably determined that the site was simply not for you. That's a perfectly appropriate decision.

[Cynthia Anne]

Rather it's right or wrong I'm not in the market for a mail order bride or for someone elses bride! We all have choices to make every day! My choice is to stay here with my loving sisters! Hugs!

[Tina B.]

I have only found a couple of sites that I liked, because like you, I'm not looking for sex, or admirers. I'm still a believer, that sex, and gender are two different subjects, and don't have to be joined together. I'm here to talk about gender issues, not sex, but for those that want the sex part, there are thousands of sites out there. Very few that just deal with gender. That's why so many of us are so glad we found this place.
Tina B.

[DonnaT]

If it didn't feel right, why would you stay? That would be wrong, IMO.

I've been on a UK site since 2004, which is closer in comparison to this site than the one you joined (I guess, since the one I'm on isn't focused on 'contacts' and 'admirers').

[Kristy_K]

If it does something good for than stay with it. Other wise go.........

[JessHaust]

I'm happily married and not at all interested in anything extra. I have observed what you refer to on web sites and in person. I just let my intentions known and then let it go. We all are looking for acceptance in our behavior and I don't see that as any different. But, if the site made you unconfortable then by all means leave.

[giuseppina]

... Call me a prude and bloody closed minded if you like but I would argue and continue to argue that I cannot see how illicit sexual encounters etc. do not hurt someone. You will need to put up a seriously good argument to convince me that such activities are not selfish and self serving.

I don't think you're a prude or closed minded, Adina. Relationships are about trust and integrity, and in my view, illicit sexual encounters are not part of a healthy relationship.

[Barbara Ella]

Can only repeat what has been said. Not a matter of right or wrong. Not a matter of prude or not. Just a simple matter of feeling right for you at a moment in your life. The old joke, Doctor it hurts when I do this.....answer, $125.00, and dont do it again.

If it ain't right, take flight. (Gotta love Johnny Cochran (sp))

Hugs, Babes

[docrobbysherry]

Adina, I joined a CD dating site the same time I joined CD.com. Over 4 years ago. I was hoping to meet a CD accepting GG there. I'm still there because it's free. But, I think I have better chance of flying to the moon than meeting a GG GF there!

If I had been looking for male dates, I'd have worn out my ---- by now!

Stick with CD. com. The mods make sure to keep this site on the up and up!

[Annaliese2010]

No, of course you're not 'wrong' to bail but...um...anyways...What's the name of that site? ;)

[SallyS]

No, of course you're not 'wrong' to bail but...um...anyways...What's the name of that site? ;)

Sent PM!

Hope it's of some use to you:)

[DanaR]

I've always tried to be open minded, but sometimes I guess that I'm not. Anyway this site works fine for me. Some of the other sites that were mentioned, wouldn't be of interest to me.

[Rianna Humble]

Last year I signed up to a UK site, much like this one. However it was clearly more focused on 'contacts' and 'admirers'.

Although I did happily converse with several fellow CD'ers, I felt the overall aim of the site was more about the physical side of the scene.
...

There where some genuinely nice people on the site (and I suspect a few of them may be on this one?). But the general feel and tone of the site put me off!

So was I right or wrong to ditch the site?

I am going to stick my neck out and say you were most definitely right to ditch that site just as those who continue to frequent it are also right. You have no obligation - moral or otherwise - to continue to visit a website that does not coincide with your interests. Over the past 18 years I must have visited several thousand websites that I no longer frequent, that does not mean that they serve no purpose, just that they don't serve mine. In the same way, that site does not serve your purpose.

I'm glad that your wife is supportive of your dressing, she must be a very special person. Does she know about the FAB forum on this site and do you think it might interest her?

[eluuzion]

Judging “right or wrong” for other people is above my pay grade. Jobs are too scarce these days to risk getting fired, so I am just going to just suggest trusting your own instincts. :hugs:

My experience with most “dating” sites is that there always seems to be a monetary investment required at some point. For those sites that claim they are “free” (whatever that means, lol), I feel my chances of connecting with a well-adjusted person are about the same as picking up a hitchhiker and not getting robbed or murdered. Just sayin…:heehee:.

I heavily discount any logic in believing what anonymous people present as being their “genuine self” on an internet site. But I still find such sites to have entertainment value for me, although I may not choose to participate when I visit them. So I keep them in my “favorites” list until I lose all interest. I just have a curious nature.

Whatever makes you happy is the right thing to do. Just don’t ever shake a baby…:D.

:love: